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Thread: more girl woes

  1. #1
    daem's Avatar
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    more girl woes

    yeah, so a girl i have been talking to for a while now (who i actually am falling for) is having trouble believing me when i am honest with her about where things are going.

    she feels like im just saying things to say them, when in reality i care about her. i have sent her flowers, been nothing but honest, and i have remained faithful since beginning to talk to her.

    i made a comment about one of her ex's about 2 weeks ago and it really hurt her feelings, so she backed off a bit and things havn't really picked up. apparantly the day after i made the comment, she met some other guy and they have went out twice. she tells me that since she has been out with him she only thinks of me, and all that stuff, and i think i believe her. she brought this up today and i was blindsided right after telling her that im falling for her.

    i have hurt her in the past and i can understand her unwillingness to believe what i say, but i have never lied or given her a reason not to trust me.

    i really want to be with this girl and she isn't giving me anything here. i purposely decided to leave out the fact that she is 150 miles away at a different university since the initial feelings produced would be 'drop her.' both of us are graduating and have gotten job offers in completely different parts of the country. additionally, given the fact that my DUI resulted in driving privileges taken away for 180 days, i have not seen her in almost 4 weeks now. the next time i will see her (assuming she doesn't come up here to visit) is at Thanksgiving. she feels that then, when she can see me, everything is going to be clear. this girl really might be the one though, my feelings for her are strong enough that im willing to sacrifice and try to beat the odds.

    can anyone help me make some sense out of this fucked up situation that is my life?

  2. #2
    asymmetrical1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by daem
    yeah, so a girl i have been talking to for a while now (who i actually am falling for) is having trouble believing me when i am honest with her about where things are going.

    she feels like im just saying things to say them, when in reality i care about her. i have sent her flowers, been nothing but honest, and i have remained faithful since beginning to talk to her.

    i made a comment about one of her ex's about 2 weeks ago and it really hurt her feelings, so she backed off a bit and things havn't really picked up. apparantly the day after i made the comment, she met some other guy and they have went out twice. she tells me that since she has been out with him she only thinks of me, and all that stuff, and i think i believe her. she brought this up today and i was blindsided right after telling her that im falling for her.

    i have hurt her in the past and i can understand her unwillingness to believe what i say, but i have never lied or given her a reason not to trust me.

    i really want to be with this girl and she isn't giving me anything here. i purposely decided to leave out the fact that she is 150 miles away at a different university since the initial feelings produced would be 'drop her.' both of us are graduating and have gotten job offers in completely different parts of the country. additionally, given the fact that my DUI resulted in driving privileges taken away for 180 days, i have not seen her in almost 4 weeks now. the next time i will see her (assuming she doesn't come up here to visit) is at Thanksgiving. she feels that then, when she can see me, everything is going to be clear. this girl really might be the one though, my feelings for her are strong enough that im willing to sacrifice and try to beat the odds.

    can anyone help me make some sense out of this fucked up situation that is my life?
    I don't think this is a fucked up situation at all bro. The odds are against you(location, jobs, can't drive) You'll just have to tell her how exactly you feel about her and see if the feelings are mutual...Then if they are, together you can work this out.

  3. #3
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    just take it one day at a time, she sounds scared of getting with u if u have hurt her. all u can really do is wait and see what happens. and it would help to let her know that she is the only one, but like i said take it one day at a time and see where it goes....

  4. #4
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    This is a tough one bro.......Is that other guy closer to her than you are? location wise I mean....If so im sure that hes not helping your situation out....You need to talk to her about him and how you feel about him being in the picture....that will give you a window to discuss how you really feel about her...at the same time you really cant pressure her too much..you dont wanna give her that sort of Caged in feeling..........Feel it out bro...I bet if you think about it really hard you can figure out what the problem is and fix it....especially if its on your end.....

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by daem
    this girl really might be the one though, my feelings for her are strong enough that im willing to sacrifice and try to beat the odds.

    can anyone help me make some sense out of this fucked up situation that is my life?
    Picture her charred head to toe, 130lbs overweight... do you still see yourself with her forever, 100% loyal? That's how you can tell I recently picked a much less attractive girl over a full time model after comparing the 2 like that and who I wanted to be with.

    Just don't pressure her too much, you deffinately DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT.... DO NOT want to come off desperate. Trust me on that.

  6. #6
    KeyMastur is offline VET
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    ain't gonna lie to you. i tried the distance thing. probably about 2 or 3 times now. shit never works. it gets old making the drive. seems like it's a responsibility and a hassle more than a will. things fade. she's away. you're away. there's always going to be other people around her and you - of whom will be tempting. distance is just one reason why i will not settle down with anyone who does not live within 30 minutes of me.

    now moving around is another thing. should you move closer to her or she move closer to you, then i say go for it.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by KeyMastur
    ain't gonna lie to you. i tried the distance thing. probably about 2 or 3 times now. shit never works. it gets old making the drive. seems like it's a responsibility and a hassle more than a will. things fade. she's away. you're away. there's always going to be other people around her and you - of whom will be tempting. distance is just one reason why i will not settle down with anyone who does not live within 30 minutes of me.

    now moving around is another thing. should you move closer to her or she move closer to you, then i say go for it.
    My thoughts exactly, if you feel like she is the one, you have to decide just how important she is. How much are you willing to sacrifice to be with this girl bro.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by D3m3nt3d
    My thoughts exactly, if you feel like she is the one, you have to decide just how important she is. How much are you willing to sacrifice to be with this girl bro.
    right now i am willing to sacrifice and have been examining other job possibilities but nothing has really piqued my interest. if things are meant to work out here then i don't think i need to settle for some job that i never wanted in the first place because it is my career here and my future. she is pretty set on going to atlanta, and my best offer is in chicago so far, so go figure.

    mass: the dude is from her school. he works there and is slightly older...they met each other at a bar on her birthday, the same night i betrayed her with the comment about her ex. talk about wonderful timing...but im not worried about this chump because he can't be half the man i am according to what she has told me.

    khull: thats what i have been trying to do. before getting the DUI i have seen her at least twice a month since school began. day to day is becoming harder to live by since nothing has really changed over teh past month other than me alienating her temporarily, me putting myself out on the line and her telling me about dude.

    i am pretty sure that my wishful thinking is overriding any logic or rational plans, but isn't that always necessary if we are to truly find happiness in another person?

  9. #9
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    You know what, thanksgiving( Americans have that at end of this month right? ) is too long to wait. I would get on the bus this weekend and expedite the process. She'll have ya or she won't but I wuoldn't wait around for a month, there's too many other sweet women out there.

  10. #10
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    i tried the long distance thing before it lasted about a week after she left, i was with this girl off and on or like 6 yrs, but for like 3 months here and 3 months there during the year, then we got really serious and broke up and then again, but when she left a week later i was told a lot shit about her from her best friend, and i realized i could no longer trust her, she was always a flirt, i banged more heads because of that bitch but thats another story. and i fucked with her back in highschool so it always seemed like she was getting back at me and it put a guilt trip on me so i was always like ok babe i'm sorry or whatever, and i would just back off, DON'T GET LIKE THAT!!! you have to make the effort if it's not there then fuck it, it sounds easier then it is, i was in love big time.

  11. #11
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    oh yeah also like ambulance1984 said "do not come off as being desperate" girls can smell insecurity, let her think your in total control with any situation.

  12. #12
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    If I remember right Didnt you just move back from being with a girl in Florida?......Damn bro you work fast

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    redthedogpgd is offline New Member
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    bro what you say sounds like my echo. in the end all I can say is best of luck but.. let it go. find something else. if she wants you she's going to have to make the choice because theres **** all you can do to make it for her. so go live your life, stop waiting and hoping and holding your dick in your hand.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by redthedogpgd
    bro what you say sounds like my echo. in the end all I can say is best of luck but.. let it go. find something else. if she wants you she's going to have to make the choice because theres **** all you can do to make it for her. so go live your life, stop waiting and hoping and holding your dick in your hand.
    way to bump a thread that's 2 months old lol

  15. #15
    redthedogpgd is offline New Member
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    hey it spoke to me, and if he's in it like i was, two months is nothing.

  16. #16
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    wtf, this is depressing as sh-t. i'm in the same boat as you are and i am optimistic about it...even though EVERYONE else says its doomed.

    i've been with my gf for 3 months now, not long, i know, but we were basically glued to each other's side...and in that time, i have >totally< fallen for her. well, about 4 days ago i moved (for a job) 150 miles away from her...=(

    that on top of the clomid, mixed with being alone in a new city away from my love has left me devastated. i've been a walking zombie for the past few days.

    back to the point. i'm am going to make this long distance thing work, or die trying. even my gf is pessamistic (cuz)...
    1) we've only known each other for 3 months
    2) like everyone says, long distance doesn't work
    3) she's not at a point in our relationship where she can
    commit to a future between us (i.e. eventually move back together again).

    i love her enough to drive 5 hours every weekend to see her, and ****it, someday she'll feel the same about me...=/

    this sh-t really pisses me off. i'm possibly going to see my soulmate drift between my fingers because we're in different towns? f that. the thought of possibly missing out on "the one" because of "circumstances" WILL NOT FLY with me. and what's keeping me from my happiness? a job. its nothing that big, there are jobs everywhere.

    now the trick (for me) is getting her to see a future between us worth me finding another job for...

    -- clocky

  17. #17
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    Sometimes the memory.. (not to make light of anything) and if you can't have something makes us that more desperate to have it..

    Then again.. there is always.... What if she was the one.......... (but that's what women think)

    For men............... it's the "hey, that's my favorite toy, if i can't have it, you can't play with it either.."

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