Anabolic Member
Sup guys I know its wrong and I know its immoral, thats why my conscience is making me ask you. But if you had acces to someone's email account, Messenger account and cell phone voice mail would you take a peek and/or a listen. I might read and hear some things i don't want to hear or see but i might also find out things that will help me sleep at night? what would you guys do?
VET
i already do and i already do
New Member
DON'T ! Like I said before, I know what you're going trough. Checking her e-mail will only fuck you up even more, trust me on this one. Plus it's wrong... I regret doing it cuz I feel like a complete asshole. Again it will only make you feel worse.
Banned
Like key said...I did, and I already did.
Honestly, it didn't help me sleep at night...it's not right to do it (IMO) and there are certain things that if you need to find out, you should just ask. I know it's easier to say than do.
That being said...when i was in your shoes...i did it. I found a little out, some in my favor, some not.
VET
Don't do it bro... just don't. Some things you just do not want to know.
A long time ago, I used to be a municipal court clerk (research and filing) and I had access to all the files, computers and stuff to check anyones road, criminal or civil records (and even sealed juvenile and pardoned records...).
Curiosity killed the cat and I made the mistake of looking up a friend in there once... big mistake. I was never able to look him in the eye after that... knowing stuff you're not supposed to know plays tricks on you.
Just forget about it bro... let it go.
Red
Anabolic Member
When ya intrude uninvited into other people's privacy, it shows how much you respect them . . . not much.
Pretty much, if you do decide to snoop around, it would demonstrate that your ladyfriend would probably be better off without you. If you decide not to snoop, you'd know you had one of the characteristics that would enable you to conduct a healthy relationship with another adult--honesty.
VET
i snooped to the email a few times. found out what i wanted to know, and peaced out. gone and forgotten now.
Senior Member
Well if it involves a person you're close to it will either give you peace of mind or fuck you up. You also run the risk of pissing that person off by invading their privacy. Even if you find nothing will you still be suspicious. If so what's the point? Since you ask what I would do I'll tell you. I'd look.
Anabolic Member
Originally Posted by Tock
your probably right bro. i guess im not going to. i don't think i'd beable to live with the guilt. afterall i can ask her anything. just right now she wants to get exams over with and then settle our shit. i guess i'll have to wait
Retired~ AR-Hall of Famer
I wouldn't do it.................... This is one thing I have learned over the years dealing with relationships.......... If there's any reason you feel you can't trust that person then move on no matter how hard it is............... Eventually you will get over that person but if you stay in a untrusting relationship it will just make your life hell.............. to me no women is worth that much that I would live my life unhappy.
Last edited by TheMudMan; 11-23-2003 at 11:37 AM.
Senior Member
Good move, bro. Respect her right to privacy. A breach of that implied trust would only show that you are less than trustworthy - and isn't that what this is all about? If you cannot trust her and you cannot be trusted, then the relationship is doomed. You should be able to get your answers through frank conversation. Otherwise, it may be time to simply move on . . .your probably right bro. i guess im not going to. i don't think i'd beable to live with the guilt. afterall i can ask her anything. just right now she wants to get exams over with and then settle our shit. i guess i'll have to wait
Anabolic Member
Okay now heres another question
the x is still around breaking her balls asking her questions like will we ever be again, and bullshit like that. she doesn't know what to tell him without totally destroying him. But if he found out about me i know he would hit the roadI can send an anonymous email with fuck one of his friends address' if i want telling him about me
Anabolic Member
if you suspect something bro, chances are you are right...but hell yea, i help myself to everything i can...
put yourself in their position....don't you think they'd do the same thing
Anabolic Member
It'd be fun. I'd like to know the interesting things though.. were there weapons of mass destruction?
do aliens exist
does god exist
I'd like to know everything.. the end of all science.
New Member
Just stay away from trouble.
Anabolic Member
jeez one simple email and i feel sooooo much better
Anabolic Member
======================Okay now heres another question
the x is still around breaking her balls asking her questions like will we ever be again, and bullshit like that. she doesn't know what to tell him without totally destroying him. But if he found out about me i know he would hit the road
Yah, you could play dirty, but it'll come back to haunt you sooner or later.
Looks like the primary problem is your girl is reluctant to cause the ex any pain by telling the truth.
Ok, here's an opportunity to help your girlfriend grow and mature a bit.
Strong adults can deal with truth. In this case, the previous relationship is dead (I assume that is the case), and your girlfriend needs to understand that as long as she doesn't make this crystal clear to the ex, she will continue to be haunted by him. She needs to tell him it's over.
Here's where you come in. Your girlfriend probably still has some respect for the ex, and like pulling band-aids off of old wounds, probably is reluctant to cause the pain associated with pulling the band-aid or disappointing the ex with the bad news. So what ya gotta do is provide her with encouragement to do what needs to be done, tell her you understand how it isn't any fun to disappoint people, but that (1) the sooner he understands, the sooner he can get on with his life and (2) you'll be right there supporting her 100% while she tells him.
You really don't want to do any of this yourself, because this is a learning experience for her, and if you help her through this, you'll earn a few brownie points from her for being understanding and supportive. Plus, you don't want to be seen by her as meddling in her previous affairs . . . that'll come back to haunt you big time.
Ya, it may be tough for your girlfriend to do what's gotta be done, but I guarantee that if you help her through it (which means that she does the talking, you do the background supporting) she'll discover that she can rely on you when she needs someone to rely on. Very good spot for you to be in, yes yes.
Hope this helps . . .
--Tock
Female Member
I say it's wrong...but that's JMO... What you may read you may take the wrong way.. These things happen all the time...It really is intruding and unfair to that other person...
peace
BW
Whiney Member
I say learn all that you can. An educated man will be a happier man. Take care of yourself!
Feeling guilty sucks...getting mislead, dumped, cheated on, etc and it all being a surprise SUCKS WORSE!
I prefer to make educated decisions vs. going with just my "gut" feeling. People say and do things for a reason. Find out what they are saying, writing, or doing and you'll find out what their intentions are. Much better than trying to "assume."
My .02
peace,
ttgb
AR Jester
I wouldn't do it.................if it's ment to be then it will be. I'd want to win but not underhanded..............and like the others said it could come back to bite you.
Let things progress on their own.
I'd fucking do it in a heart beat!!! It saved my penis for life. I picked this guys pager that worked with my G/F and found out she had fucked him the night before. I knew she liked him but didn't think it would go that far. Oh yeah, the guy had herpes too. That douche was gone that night!
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