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  1. #1
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Drunk Thread....

    All in all, I think I've done a decent job of staying off of AR and studying (aside from a deserved scolding or two from Paem, PTby and ChrisAdams), but with the test closing in REAL fast, I'm likely going to be all the way dissapeared very shortly (until december 7th), so I figured I'd go out with a hella good thread that will allow people to post up some nice drunken tales, memories and accomplishments. We may be health nuts now, but for almost all of us, there was a time (usually college) where drinking was a part of life in a big way...so let's here those drunken tales and escapades (along with precise amounts so we can see what lushes of xmas past we have).

    I guess I'll kick it off with a few.

    *Most drunken experience ever: at the first college I went to, before transferring to my namesake, there was some process by which some upperclassmen in your dorm took you on as a little brother or sister type thing. The college set it up for the purpose of easing the transition into college life by giving the froshes an upperclassmen buddy, but the purpose quickly became that this upperclassman got you F'ed up and then bought for you all year. I was "adopted" by two sophomore girls and, to make a long story short, after making me finish 12 beers within 30 minutes, they made me pound about 1/2 of an aftershock bottle, then they wanted me to eat the crystals (if you've seen aftershock you know what i'm talking about). They couldn't fish them out so they smashed the bottle and did their best to sort the glass from the crystals so I could eat them. Many tequila shots later and the end result was this: I could not eat solid food for five days. I lost 15 pounds during the longest hangover on record. I can to this day not even smell aftershock. I had a hardwood floor in my dormroom and threw up on on a muscle and fitness magazine...the single open page not bufferered by other pages became glazed over by the next morning and became a PERMANENT fixture of that floor...they had to carpet the room the next summer.

    *Proudest drinking moment: in a case race battle with roommates racing to finish a case between the two of them, my roommate and I took the prize finishing in under 25 minutes...the next closest was 45 minutes.

    Let's hear 'em boys and girls.

  2. #2
    jarrett is offline Senior Member
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    shit and the last time i talked to you, you were only drinking rootbeers

  3. #3
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jarrett
    shit and the last time i talked to you, you were only drinking rootbeers
    Oh, my drinking days are pretty much over, but those were two of my finer moments. Whatever my version of "Frank the Tank" is/was, he's pretty well gone now. If I get drunk now, I'm out of commission for two days.

  4. #4
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    I'm not proud of any of my drinking days.......but I do have a few stories to tell......and some others told me for I don't remember what happened...

    To start with one of the worse drunks I ever had was with CLC(lord calvart(sp))....me and a friend were riding around town(back in HS) gonna celebrate his b-day...we both had a 5th each of CLC........I bought a 16oz mountaindew to chase the whiskey.........well the bottle last all of 15 mins. and on an empty stomach........needless to say I don't remember much after that.....wond up my stepdad and friends dad put my pastout ass in the house for the night......and mom cooked eggs, fried bacon, grits w/plenty of butter and made me eat it the next morning........sheez that was rough to down the fried bacon.....it did come back up.

    Another time me and a friend were pissing behind a dumpster ass the sunrise was coming over the tree tops....it was time to go to bed and sleep of the all night drunkfest......it would have made a great comercial.........."It's 6 o'clock in the morning, u just pissed behind a dumbster, hell it's Miller time"

  5. #5
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    The one I remember best was in Key West,was way fucked up on vodka...jumped up on a Bahama fan,pulled my pants down and spun around pissing on everyone in the bar,needless to say I was asked to leave

  6. #6
    redrock is offline Member
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    Last year, was partying with friends. 14 shots of tequila, a
    half a bottle of Maddog 20/20 and 5 beers later, i'm passed out in the street between two sorority houses. Some girl puts me in the campus shuttle and walks me to my room.

    I forgot to call the girl i was dating that night. She called around 2am and needless to say I didn't sound so good. She didn't drink and she told me it "scared" her to hear me that drunk.

    I threw up all over the bed, had a 2 day hangover and broke up with the girl. Bad news is, to this day I can't even smell tequila. RR

  7. #7
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Da Bull
    The one I remember best was in Key West,was way fucked up on vodka...jumped up on a Bahama fan,pulled my pants down and spun around pissing on everyone in the bar,needless to say I was asked to leave
    The spin around is what makes that classic

  8. #8
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    I was only 19 but a bar "outta town" let minors drink so me and my wife went there and started downing them. AFter awhile I got trashed.. I even remember getting a cigarette in my eye.. hehe my fake one. My wife sat on my lap and we both fell over the chair knocking the jukebox over and spilling the table full of drink... the bartender invited US BACK after the night was over... hehe I dont remember getting home or going to bed.. just woke up half-ways across the bed with my pants around my ankles and my wife under me.. heeh she dont remember anything either!!

  9. #9
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    Let's see... out of the few times I've been drunk... this is the most memorable night. Not exactly in a good way either. The memory of it might actually keep me from drinking for a long while..... Well basically I just got wasted because I was totally depressed about my ex boyfriend not loving me anymore. So... I was all over this guy who was oh I'd say 23.... engaged.... and totally trying to get me off of him. He kept telling me I was too young. I told my best friend's ex boyfriend that she was going to amount to nothing.... let's see... I then proceeded to start to cry on some guys shoulder when my friends were making me leave.... pushed another of my friends off of me to go give the guy that I was all over one last hug (hey he WAS hot ) and then lost my favorite sweartshirt. Good news though, my friend just got that sweatshirt back for me.

  10. #10
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    I think I'm gonna start with my most recent Episode. This semester, I got really wasted with some friends of mine, and we started watchin Old School. Well I got to the party scene and before Frank could get a beer down, I started streakin. I got my friends ex girlfriend to come pick us up and take us to Campus where we ran across the quad naked. Then I got the bright idea to run around the girls dorm. Then the cops came out of no where and I had to run from those guys. We ended up running down the busiest street in the town. and then topped it off goin swimmin at some Apt. complex's pool.
    Fun Times.

  11. #11
    peam's Avatar
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    oooh, I have another! Okay, the first time I ever got drunk, besides everyone telling me I was a natural at taking shots (weird) and peeing about 40 times in half an hour... my friend put on this backpack that has a sprayer... that pesticide was in... we walked around the forest killing weeds... but pretending like we were doing something else... I don't remember what but I just know that I couldn't walk very well.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigol'legs
    just woke up half-ways across the bed with my pants around my ankles and my wife under me.. heeh she dont remember anything either!!


    When the first term in college was over we celebrated with going to a chinese restaurant and later on continued out to a bar, 2 friends said i needed more culture in my life and said they were going to teach me how to drink whiskey.
    I started with 3 6' whiskeys followed by just as many beers (thats 3 juggernaut ), after that i downed another 3-4 6's whiskey and starting drinking even more beer. In the end the total came out 8 6' whiskey and 14 beers in about 2½-3 hours. This was enough for me and i passed out on the table. The bouncer said i had to go, i went out and puked all the way down the hill that the bar was on, chinese food all over
    My friend got me a cab and as all normal people was heading downtown i was going home (it was only 11). Got home pulled my pants down went in the bathroom and puked then fell asleep on the bathtub, my mom comes in at around 02:00 and tell me to go sleep in my bed, the day after i feelt like the first time you ever do deadlifts, i was soar all over and didnt move out of bed that day.

    I hate the smell and taste of whiskey now, cant even look ata whiskey bottle without feeling sick.

  13. #13
    PurePower is offline Senior Member
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    god i hate aftershock...............sickest shit ever

  14. #14
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    This is a nice thread. Being a frat boy myself I think I could tell you a story that wouldn't end, the story being my whole college career. It is not uncommon for me to go out and have 20-25 drinks in a night. I mean, we get retarted. Now, I use to do this very often when I was 18 or 19 but I have settled down now. I won't get that sloppy anymore. The funnest times have all involved ezra brooks whiskey. If anyone can, you'll need to drink that shit. I have one of the most memorable nights on record with that stuff. I don't know if anyone has drank beams 8 star either but it is the well bourbon, and by god, I got my nose popped pretty good one night by a guy I hit in the face who was about 6'3 250 and me at the time 5'8 160. God, I love alcohol. But I love lifting more now.

  15. #15
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    I’ll start with this one but I might put up the one where my brothers rearranged the furniture and removed the light bulbs from all the lamps when I went drinking with my buds one time. This story I’ve titled The Pink Ring……..and it’s true;

    I was 18 (drinking age was lower back then……shut up you young punks) and had recently broke up with my girlfriend at the time. My buddy Wack (no it wasn’t his name but one we called him……..he was a nut.) and I decided to just tie one on. We were at this little bar a buddy of ours father owned. We had been there since 6 that evening and about an hour before closing our buddy came over to tell us that he was closing up but we were to go to our car and wait till the last person left then he would let us back in. Well, everyone takes off and we go back in. Our buddy opens the cash register and said “here is all the money you’ll need to play anything in the place”. He then walks back to the kitchen area and opens up the fridge and said “here’s all the food you care to eat” and then walks over to the cooler and said “And here is all the beer you can drink”. Between the three of us we drank so much beer that we built a giant pyramid in the middle of the floor out of the empties! (By the way we broke the bottles staggering into them and had to come back before the place opened the next day and clean up the mess.)

    About 4 in the morning I decided it was time to go home. I rode with Wack so I needed him to run me home. As it would turn out Wack had pasted out but that did not deter me from my mission. Our buddy helped me carry him out to the car and place him in the driver seat (yes we placed him behind the wheel…………I was in no condition to drive!) and I ran (no I didn’t run but you get the point) around and jumped in the passenger seat. I reached over cranked the car, dropped it in reverse and slapped him until he was awake enough to hear me yell a few times “Wack you’re taking me home”. I told him I would mind my side of the car if he could manage his (In case you guys don’t already know the unwritten rule, when riding in a car, the passenger is responsible for his side of the car for the trip home. If his side of the car runs off the road the driver has the right to punch him and tell him to watch the road. Hahaha). Thank God I lived about two miles from the bar! I have no idea how we made it but we did.

    I jump out of the car and run into the hose and tell Wack I’ll talk to him later. I get in the house and by this time I’m completely burning up. I’m so hot that I strip down to nothing and fall asleep in the bath tub (Hey! It was nice and cool). I wake up a few hours later sick as a dog. I’m worshipping the porcelain alter when my old man walks into the bathroom. (Mind you, I’m stark naked puking up everything.) He looks over my shoulder and said “Keep an eye out for a pink ring, if you see it take your pinky finger and fish that out you’ll need it” I said “what’s the pink ring for” in between breaths. He said “that will be you’re a$$hole and you’ll want to get that stitched back in”. “Dad,” I said “Why are you giving me all the grief?” He said he came to tell me Wack was in the drive way. I gather myself up and walk out side (yes I put on some shorts first) and sure enough Wack is there passed out on the steering wheel……………..he passed out and the engine ran until all the gas was gone.

    As a lesson my old man would not let us borrow the car to go get gas so Wack and I had to walk ten miles to get gas (I lived in the woods……..my nearest neighbor was nine miles away.). It had to be something to see too see two guys walking down the road, hung over as hell stopping every ten minutes to puck. That night we swore off beer and went with hard liquor. Hahahahah

  16. #16
    Da Bull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggernaut2148
    I’ll start with this one but I might put up the one where my brothers rearranged the furniture and removed the light bulbs from all the lamps when I went drinking with my buds one time. This story I’ve titled The Pink Ring……..and it’s true;

    I was 18 (drinking age was lower back then……shut up you young punks) and had recently broke up with my girlfriend at the time. My buddy Wack (no it wasn’t his name but one we called him……..he was a nut.) and I decided to just tie one on. We were at this little bar a buddy of ours father owned. We had been there since 6 that evening and about an hour before closing our buddy came over to tell us that he was closing up but we were to go to our car and wait till the last person left then he would let us back in. Well, everyone takes off and we go back in. Our buddy opens the cash register and said “here is all the money you’ll need to play anything in the place”. He then walks back to the kitchen area and opens up the fridge and said “here’s all the food you care to eat” and then walks over to the cooler and said “And here is all the beer you can drink”. Between the three of us we drank so much beer that we built a giant pyramid in the middle of the floor out of the empties! (By the way we broke the bottles staggering into them and had to come back before the place opened the next day and clean up the mess.)

    About 4 in the morning I decided it was time to go home. I rode with Wack so I needed him to run me home. As it would turn out Wack had pasted out but that did not deter me from my mission. Our buddy helped me carry him out to the car and place him in the driver seat (yes we placed him behind the wheel…………I was in no condition to drive!) and I ran (no I didn’t run but you get the point) around and jumped in the passenger seat. I reached over cranked the car, dropped it in reverse and slapped him until he was awake enough to hear me yell a few times “Wack you’re taking me home”. I told him I would mind my side of the car if he could manage his (In case you guys don’t already know the unwritten rule, when riding in a car, the passenger is responsible for his side of the car for the trip home. If his side of the car runs off the road the driver has the right to punch him and tell him to watch the road. Hahaha). Thank God I lived about two miles from the bar! I have no idea how we made it but we did.

    I jump out of the car and run into the hose and tell Wack I’ll talk to him later. I get in the house and by this time I’m completely burning up. I’m so hot that I strip down to nothing and fall asleep in the bath tub (Hey! It was nice and cool). I wake up a few hours later sick as a dog. I’m worshipping the porcelain alter when my old man walks into the bathroom. (Mind you, I’m stark naked puking up everything.) He looks over my shoulder and said “Keep an eye out for a pink ring, if you see it take your pinky finger and fish that out you’ll need it” I said “what’s the pink ring for” in between breaths. He said “that will be you’re a$$hole and you’ll want to get that stitched back in”. “Dad,” I said “Why are you giving me all the grief?” He said he came to tell me Wack was in the drive way. I gather myself up and walk out side (yes I put on some shorts first) and sure enough Wack is there passed out on the steering wheel……………..he passed out and the engine ran until all the gas was gone.

    As a lesson my old man would not let us borrow the car to go get gas so Wack and I had to walk ten miles to get gas (I lived in the woods……..my nearest neighbor was nine miles away.). It had to be something to see too see two guys walking down the road, hung over as hell stopping every ten minutes to puck. That night we swore off beer and went with hard liquor. Hahahahah
    Funny story jugg,I needed that laugh...thanks

  17. #17
    palme's Avatar
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    I needed it too Always a good laugh when your around Jugg

  18. #18
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    I've got several. This was probably one of the funniest....

    Picture this...I'm a 17 year old freshman at a big University partying with a bunch of people in my dorm room the night before everyone went home for Thanksgiving vacation. After drinking around 9 or 10 beers, I was pissy drunk and getting a little rowdy. Someone pulled out the beer bong in my closet and I got carried away. I had several bottles of Mad Dog so I decided to bong one. It went down in 2 tries and I quickly became the party hero. So, I went down the hall where a few other guys were hanging out and told them of my feat. They didn't believe me so I told them I'd do another one so they could see for themselves! So, they come back and I bong Mad Dog bottle #2, along with 1/3rd bottle of Boon's Farm that somebody threw in for good measure. Needless to say, I was quickly making a name for myself. Whether or not it was a good one, I don't know. But, within 10 minutes, I was praying to the porcelain gods in the men's bathroom so the party moved in to watch and laugh. The next part, I don't remember so well but apparently, during the night, I puked (a lot) in the water fountain on the way back to my room from the bathroom. Around 3am, a RA knocks on my door all mad and asks me if I did it. I said no and blamed it on the dude down the hall, a friend of mine. So he goes down to wake up my buddy and bitch. I decided to defend myself and followed him out there...in my tighty whities! This was a coed floor so the next thing I know, girls are peeping out their doors to see what all the fuss is about and seeing my white ass in scivies. My buudy, who was 100% sober, just laughed when the RA asked him if he puked in the fountain. I could barely stand up so the RA was not convinced. He blew it off though as the site of me out there was too funny to get mad....but the puke sat in our floor's water fountain for 2 weeks before anyone cleaned it out, a daily reminder to everyone. The story's not over. The next morning, I had a final exam to go to before heading home for Thanksgiving! I made my way to the cafeteria for some breakfast with one of the worst hangovers I'd ever had. After eating a bite of bread, I felt everything about to come up so I ran out into the dorm lobby. There was no where to puke so I ran into the stairwell to do it in privacy, but not before throwing up in mid step. I puked all over the lobby as I ran. So I go in the stairwell and sit on the first flight. I puke all the way down it. So I go up 1 more flight and sit down and puke all over that one. So I go up 1 last flight and puke all over that one too. Finally, I was leveling out and decided to sit and rest for a minute when I heard someone coming up the stairs below. I hear these feet squishing up the stairs and as they got closer to me, this girl is going eeeww! She looked up and sees me sitting there with my hands covering my face and realizes she caught someone at the scene of the crime! Anyway, I made it to my final but had to leave every 5 mintues to puke so I asked the professor if I could retake it after the holiday. He understood. I somehow made it home after that btu didn't fully recover for another 48 hours. That was the last time I drank MD 20/20.

  19. #19
    palme's Avatar
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    Hehehe! Funny bro

  20. #20
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    I went to a Top Out party when we finished the VA hospital (a top out party is a party the general contractor throws when the roof is finished for a building) and the bar tender was a buddy of mine (he installed the door hardware for the whole project). Any case when I walked up to the bar I said give me a Jack and coke. He proceeds to take a large glass and pour it plum full of Jack and then says “oh crap you wanted coke” so he then sprits it with a shot of coke and thrust the glass at me with a huge smile. Being the indestructible big shot that I am I down the whole glass and then say “thank you Sir, may I have another”. I wound up drinking six or eight of these in a three hour period. Needless to say I am completely bombed. Now I’m not proud of this but I did drive home in this state and thank the good Lord I made it without killing anyone including myself. Never did that again.

    So I’m driving down an empty highway at three in the morning and I’m flying. I was driving my vette and I was thinking to myself that if I don’t slow it down I’ll get a ticket for sure (not hardly, there wasn’t a soul for miles but when you’re drunk….). I look down at the speedometer and it reads 25 mph! I step on the gas to get up around 55 mph and I swear I felt like I was breaking the sound barrier. I spend the next ten minuets or so going between 55 and 20 mph. I was so happy to see my driveway. Hahahah

    Here we get to the really good stuff. My cousin and I had a place of our own, a house we rented. Well, while I was at the party he and my brothers, his idea by the way, decide as a joke they will rearrange the furniture and remove all the light bulbs. So here I am opening up the front door (which felt like it took an hour to get my key in the lock), I reach over and hit the light switch and I get nothing so I just walk in………they set the couch in front of the door so I go head over heels over the **** thing. I get up and then proceed to go over the arm chair, ottoman, bump into the kitchen table and then into the hallway. Of course I’m so drunk I’m laughing my ass off and getting louder as I fall over each item, cursing everybody in the house between breaths (my brothers and cousin are snickering, actually I come to find out later they are trying to keep from laughing out loud that they were about to blow a casket, Jeff thought Nick was going to pass out he was trying to keep from laughing so hard).

    I make it into my bedroom (thank you sweet Jesus). I’ve got my shirt over my head, my pants are around my ankles, I’ve got one boot off mind you and I’m sweating my ass off. Unknown to me the bastards also took my bed frame and mattress and left the box spring on the floor……………..I’m thinking my bed is right there so I fall into it………after the three foot fall to the box spring (which I broke) I’m out like a light. Now while I’m asleep they come back out and put all the furniture back where it was to begin with! When I wake up I argue with them that they moved everything around but they act like I’m off my rocker and point out that everything is right where it was suppose to be.

    I get up about three hours later to go to work tripping over everything again. This time they don’t hold back from laughing and their getting louder because I’m cussing the whole time. I’m so sick it wasn’t even funny but I have to go to work. My cousin drove and, I swear, at ever stop sign and light we stop at I have to open the door and throw up. I get to the jobsite and my boss takes one look at me and said just to go home because he was not going to fill out all the paperwork he would have to file with OSHA when I kill myself.

    To this day if I just smell Jack Daniels I’ll get sick to my stomach. I’m pretty sure I was a hairs breath away from alcohol poisoning. I couldn’t eat for three days!

  21. #21
    lilbull's Avatar
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    Jugg, that is one of the funniest stories I've heard in a long time, and it gives me some good ideas too.

  22. #22
    BDTR's Avatar
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    ohhh im a bad bad drinker, its why i only drink once every couple months, but when i do.. horrible things happen. I've never drank and not gotten into a fight, not once. It's rather scary, i can put away 20 beers and about 8 shots in about 3 hours, then im blacked out drunk and its when all the bad **** happens. I guess you'd call me a binge drinker, as i never drink a beer with a meal or anything like that. It's only small issolated incidents.

  23. #23
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    i once passed out on my front lawn at about 3am after my buddies dropped me off from this party that was way out in the country, not to mention it was storming out...the sound of the raindrops really make u tired, i wake up about a few hours later to puke and realize where i was then go inside completely drenched...

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