A terrible thanksgiving

**J-sun** · 11-28-2003, 05:10 PM

Sigh. This has been some thanksgiving for me. My girlfriend of 4 years wrote me a dear john letter and left me yesterday. Apparently, it is not even an issue that can be discussed or worked through as she has cut off contact with me.
The pain and sadness is unbearable. Sitting here in my silent empty house is unbearable. Looking at all the things we have bought together the last 4 years is unbearable. Sleeping alone is unbearable.
I don't know where to go from here.

**bigol'legs** · 11-28-2003, 05:25 PM

I know it has to be hard and rough man... but sitting there wont do any good.. if shes already made up her mind and left she has been thinking about it for awhile. Its good to talk to some people about it that you know personally to help frustrations man.

**peam** · 11-28-2003, 05:26 PM

Just live one day at a time. If you need someone to talk to I'm always just a PM away.

**Farmer** · 11-28-2003, 05:36 PM

Things will get better bro, trust in that. Use this thread to your advantage to get things off your chest and discuss things among the family bro..take care.

Peace

Farmer

**nevaenuf** · 11-28-2003, 05:41 PM

Yeah bro, just keep your spirits up and dont let her get you down. You dont need to be with anyone who could do something as heartless as that anyway.

**J-sun** · 11-28-2003, 05:43 PM

I don't want to sound like a goof, or a crybaby, but I am really upset. I don't really have anyone to turn to. This is the only outlet I have at the moment. Thank you.

**peam** · 11-28-2003, 05:44 PM

check your pm's bro

**monster.** · 11-28-2003, 06:17 PM

bro..what was the reason?...4 years that is a long time... were you guys living together...bro chances are you guys will get back together...for sure... you just gotta find something to occupy your time... you know what works awesome... get with her good friend or her sister or something...thats ownership... you still love her and she still loves you...you guys will be back together... just gotta keep the mind off her for a lil bit... I hate to pry but was it a lame reason...thats bs if she just was like "oh i can't do this no more"... its going to be alright bro...

2 of the most important things you must do if you break up...

1. if she, her friends, anyone asks how you are taking the breakup you must NOT show how you actually feel right away... "everything is fine" thats the attitude.

2. Very important, you must always look your best if you would ever see her again for whatever reason... Rub it in what she lost bro

lol...it will work out though man

later bro

**J-sun** · 11-28-2003, 06:53 PM

Yea, we lived together. Pretty much from day one. She was married but seperated when I met her and went through a very messy divorce. I suppose I was a "rebound" boyfriend. Do these type of relationships not work? Maybe she has been trying to make herself love me this whole time and has been in denial. She didn't say I love you much, I know that.
As for the reason, it was pretty much just that. I can't do this any longer. She is unhappy but doesn't seem to know why. She said she feels empty, and that she gives and gives but doesn't get anything in return.
We had so many long term plans at one time. I just can't believe she is willing to throw everything away. She has no idea how much this has crushed me.

**monster.** · 11-28-2003, 07:19 PM

well you wouldn't classify yourself as a rebound bro, 4 years, maybe at first... but not after 4 years...yea something is up, i've heard that before the whole, "i can't do this relationship anymore" thing...lol...thats bs, bro...this is what you gotta do, its going to be hard but it will make all the difference... do not call her give her the space she was complaining so much about... let her be, right now you miss her comfort... you guys been together for a LONG time...don't hate yourself cause she wasn't happy fuk dat... you gotta find someone else, its crucial now, cause if not you'll be calling her up, everyday, and that will drive you guys apart...

you almost gotta do the oppisite of what you want to do... you want to call her, you want to tell her how much she killed you by breaking it off, you want to tell her how much you miss her, etc. It will drive her crazy that she did this to you and it didn't phase you bro... you don't call and you don't see her, and she WILL call you...

hate to put anything negative in this but, relationships are like jobs, you gotta think why would she leave a steady relationship of 4 years... for something better? ha bull isht... If she did meet someone else, he is probally going to play her real quick, and after her feelings get hurt she will be calling you up...

keep with it, don't give in, i've been in your spot man, terrible feeling but the only thing that got me thru it was to find someone else...

you can do it

good luck bro

**J-sun** · 11-28-2003, 07:26 PM

Hey bro,

I thank you for the support. You seem to be right about everything. I do want to call her, and run and find her, but I know that is not the thing to do. I will give her her space if thats what she wants. Regardless of how much it hurts.

You are a good bro. LOL And to think I thought you were kind of a jerk at first.

**monster.** · 11-28-2003, 07:37 PM

Trust me on this one man, you play it cool and she'll be running back to you real quick... Thr idea that, she had the balls to break up with you, and that it didn't even phase you will drive her insane, and watch she'll be calling you up... I'm curious what the reason was, it could be a number of different things... her ex, another dude, you getting more attention then her, the list is endless... The only way, unfortunately to get your mind off of her is to get with another chick, hence the rebound... but keep the ball in your court...

but tonight is friday, lol...i'd call one of her friends up and be like, "hey why don't you come over and we can watch a movie, i'm bored" something like that bro, that will drive her nutssssssssssssssssss bro

haha...good luck brotha

**bigol'legs** · 11-28-2003, 07:54 PM

hes not a jerk

**monster.** · 11-28-2003, 07:59 PM

bros before hoes...forgot to throw that in

haha...

**clockworks** · 11-30-2003, 01:06 PM

aww man, i feel for you. i hate hearing stories like this. i know how much it hurts. 4 years is a long time, you ge used to a person in that much time. the hardest thing for me after i broke up with my gf of 2 years was being alone..=( i suggest you try to surround yourself with people you like...

-- clocky

**snatchfactor5** · 11-30-2003, 02:17 PM

almost the same exact thing happened to me 2 months ago. sucks BAD

**cooksbrut** · 12-01-2003, 08:40 AM

tough man.. real tough.. just wanted to say your not alone there are plenty of people to speak with.. and bro your going to go through many ups and downs trying to deal with this.. just try to keep the rest of your life away from this touchy area.make sure that you stay on top of your money job and anything else that matters.. theres nothing like having something this devistating occur then to compound it with financial troubles....