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  1. #1
    hoss827's Avatar
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    Momma Jokes..hehe

    Not meant to offend anyone...I guess the point of this is to see who can post the best one. You can post one, and ONLY one momma joke..hehe. Allright, heres mine...

    Your mother sucks so much penis she could use her spit for sperm donations!!

  2. #2
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    Yo Momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test!

    Yo momma so stupid, she thought "Wu Tang" was an African orange drink!!

    Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.

    Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

    Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

    Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

    Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

    Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

    Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

    Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

    Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

    Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.

  3. #3
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    Yo momma so fat when she dances.....the BAND skips!

    Yo momma so fat when she wears high heels.....she strikes oil!

  4. #4
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    I would have been your dad but the stray dogs beat me over the fence

  5. #5
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    yo mamma so fat before god said "let there be light" he was like get your fat azz out the way

  6. #6
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    Yo momma so fat her pager is a VCR.

  7. #7
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.

    Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

    Yo mama's so big, she rollerskates on busses.

    Yo mama's so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

    Yo mama's so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker.

    Yo mama's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings.

    Yo mama's so big, she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.

    Yo mama's so big, she whistles bass.

    Yo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

  8. #8
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    ur mommas so fat she was eating KFC while giving birth to u because she was worried about loosing weight...
    Just made that up

  9. #9
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    your mama is so fat, her belt size is equator.

    your moma is so fat she bleeds gravy.

    i saw your mama kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing, she said moving.


    your mom is like a door knob, everyone gets a turn.


    the best one ever- your mamma is an astronaut!

  10. #10
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    Yo mama's so fat she has her own zip code

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by hercules88


    the best one ever- your mamma is an astronaut!

    i dont get it....

  12. #12
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    Your momma is so fat I had to hit her with my car cause I was afraid if I went around her I would run out of gas....

    Your momma is so fat she plays pool w/ the planets....

    Your momma is like a railroad, laid all over the usa...

    Your momma is so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles came out...

  13. #13
    cb25's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hercules88
    your mama is so fat, her belt size is equator.

    your moma is so fat she bleeds gravy.

    i saw your mama kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing, she said moving.


    your mom is like a door knob, everyone gets a turn.


    the best one ever- your mamma is an astronaut!
    been watching "White Men Can't Jump" have you?? great movie...

  14. #14
    hercules88's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Khull_Khuum
    i dont get it....

    from white men cant jump when billy hoyle was learning to talk trash.

  15. #15
    cb25's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hercules88
    from white men cant jump when billy hoyle was learning to talk trash.
    exactamundo!

  16. #16
    hercules88's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cb25
    been watching "White Men Can't Jump" have you?? great movie...

    havnt seen it in a while, one of my useless skills is remembering almost every line to almost every movie ive seen.

  17. #17
    cb25's Avatar
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    i'm with you on that herc...i've got a tremendous amount of useless information in my brain and one of my issues is being anal retentive about people misquoting movies...even if it's just a little off...

    by the way "my mother was too drunk to be an astronaut"

  18. #18
    Butch is offline Anabolic Member
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    Yo mama so stupid she thought Taco Bell was the Mexican phone company

    I know it is old school....shiat is still funny

  19. #19
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butch
    Yo mama so stupid she thought Taco Bell was the Mexican phone company

    I know it is old school....shiat is still funny
    I think there all pretty much old........however yours I think could be pre old schooll. hahahaha Just funnin but you're right that is an oldy.

  20. #20
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    Mass's momma is so fat when she sits around the house... she really sits AROUND the house....

  21. #21
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    Ur momma is so...short...
    every time she sneezes she bumps her head
    on the sidewalk...

    thats the best i got bros....never claimed to be a comic..but
    that joke is funny as hell to me.

  22. #22
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    Yo mama is so fat she has to drive a spandex car.

    Yo mama is so fat she puts mayonaise on her tylenol.

    Yo mama is so fat she has to take poster poleroids.

    Yo mama is so fat she's on both sides of the family.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by bulldawg_28
    Yo mama is so fat she's on both sides of the family.
    I thought that was only if she were from one of those "Dueling Banjos" states!


    Red

  24. #24
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    yo mama so ugly she has a pork chop tied around her neck so the dog will play with her

    yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy started pouring out

    yo mama so fat i gotta roll her in flour to find her wetspot

    i'm out of idea?

  25. #25
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    yo mamas so fat when she jumps in the air SHE GETS STUCK!!!!!!!

    Your moms like a tv...a two year old can turn her on.

  26. #26
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    ur mamma is so fat...when she gave birth to you..she gave the hospital stretch marks..

    your mama is so fat when she got pulled over.her B.A.C was 1.5 and her gravy level was off the chart

  27. #27
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    Yo mommas so fat, last time she saw 90210 was on the scale.

  28. #28
    curiousdude is offline Junior Member
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    your mama's drawers so funky she made george clinton say "DAM BITCH!!!!".

  29. #29
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    Yo mama's so nasty, a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
    Yo mama's so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
    Yo mama's so nasty, her tits give sour milk.
    Yo mama's so nasty, I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
    Yo mama's so nasty, I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
    Yo mama's so nasty, she bit the dog and gave it rabies.
    Yo mama's so nasty, she bought her boyfriend kneepads for Christmas.
    Yo mama's so nasty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
    Yo mama's so nasty, she made Right Guard turn left.
    Yo mama's so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down.
    Yo mama's so nasty, she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
    Yo mama's so nasty, she pours salt water in her drawers to keep the crabs alive.
    Yo mama's so nasty, she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
    Yo mama's so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
    Yo mama's so nasty, she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
    Yo mama's so nasty, she's got more clap than an auditorium.
    Yo mama's so nasty, they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
    Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to your house said what's for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
    Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to your house said what's for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
    Yo mama's so nasty, when she did the splits, she stuck to the floor.

  30. #30
    slamd097's Avatar
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    Yo mama's so big, they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
    Yo mama's so big, when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
    Yo mama's so big, when she bent down to tie her shoes, her face got burnt from re-entry.
    Yo mama's so big, when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
    Yo mama's so big, when she stands up the sun goes out.
    Yo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
    Yo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

    Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
    Yo mama's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.
    Yo mama's so ugly, her pillow cries at night.
    Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow quit.
    Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow ran away from her.
    Yo mama's so ugly, I can **** her in any position and its still doggy style.
    Yo mama's so ugly, I can't even make a joke out of it.
    Yo mama's so ugly, I have to watch your sister undress just to calm down.
    Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
    Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."
    Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the monkeys said "****, how'd you get out so fast."
    Yo mama's so ugly, if she were a scarecrow, the corn would run away.
    Yo mama's so ugly, if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it.
    Yo mama's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
    Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym.
    Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she's been bobbing for French fries.
    Yo mama's so ugly, it makes me wish birth control is retroactive.
    Yo mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it.

    I work on the south side of my town, and let me tell ya, I hear these thing all day long!!!
    Last edited by slamd097; 12-02-2003 at 08:22 AM.

  31. #31
    ripped4fsu's Avatar
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  32. #32
    cb25's Avatar
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    Oh yea...well, let's just get off mama's...'cause I just got off yours...

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