Subject: FW: ANDY ROONEY

Andy Rooney said on 60 minutes a few weeks back: I like big cars, big
boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big campfires. I believe the money
I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge
with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for
squirting out babies.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer.You
can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban
you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there
are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING
MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it
is an opinion. I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of
anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly
discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet
Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to
have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White
Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens. Jesse
Jackson will be knocking down your door.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of
others because they are different, weird, or tick me off. When 70% of
the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the
population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of
Probability.

I know what sex is, and there are not varying degrees of it. If I
received sex from one of my subordinates in my office, it wouldn't be a
private matter or my personal business. I would be "FIRED" immediately!

I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes,
a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of
fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak
English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the
countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours. I think the
police should have every right to shoot your sorry self if you threaten
them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word
"freeze" or "stop"
in English, see the above lines.

I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation recount
votes when needed. I know what the definition of lying is.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are
qualified for any
special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks,
etc.,
so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other
business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives
in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come
over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to
their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know pro wrestling is
fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from
watching them. I believe a self-righteous liberal or conservative with
a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and
continue to
make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system
that's better, and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that
invented the Internet to help you.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take
a parent to smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

"I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please
don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until
that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth
as you serve me french fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and
not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be
"African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around
saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great,great,
great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and
nowhere else.

And if you don't like my point of view, tough. DON'T PASS IT ON!!

That has been past around as "bad american" by email soooo many times. In almost everyone they change a tiny bit and say "george carlin" "ted nuget" etc..

Still good though.

Yeah, thought ive seen it before under something else, but still good nevertheless :)

I like it!

I think the word is........masterpiece.

Andy is the only reason i watch 60 minutes.

GREAT !! think it has been posted before but i wouldn't mind if it was posted once a week

i agree with everything! he could of wrote something about killing tim allen though.