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  1. #1
    PTbyJason's Avatar
    PTbyJason is offline Retired Admin
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    Talking The patient has no past history of suicides.

    The following quotes were taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians. They appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D., for the Journal of Court Reporting.

    • By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
    • Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
    • The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet.
    • On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
    • She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
    • The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
    • I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious.
    • Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
    • The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
    • Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
    • Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
    • The patient refused an autopsy.
    • The patient has no past history of suicides.
    • The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
    • Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
    • Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.
    • The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
    • She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
    • The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
    • The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.

  2. #2
    palme's Avatar
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  3. #3
    Kärnfysikern's Avatar
    Kärnfysikern is offline Retired: AR-Hall of Famer
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    lmao

  4. #4
    Da Bull's Avatar
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    Funny post bro

  5. #5
    Testify's Avatar
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    Good one, Jason.

  6. #6
    Devourer's Avatar
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    sounds like the average doc...

  7. #7
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    bornbad71 is offline Anabolic Member
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    .......those are good Jason.

  8. #8
    monster.'s Avatar
    monster. is offline Anabolic Member
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    I love it, i saw something like that in an old playboy

    lolllllllll

  9. #9
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    Wtf? Who was the doctor? Kavorkian? . Dang...thats some funny **** Jason, great to have seen something. That jus made my day a hell of a lot better.

  10. #10
    Doc M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anadrol devourer
    sounds like the average doc...
    WTF??? I don't any Doctor's that I work with that are that dumb!!!!

    Doc M

  11. #11
    kc's Avatar
    kc
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doc M
    WTF??? I don't any Doctor's that I work with that are that dumb!!!!

    Doc M
    u don't huh? sorry, i added your word in the first time but couldn't let ya get away scottfree


    funny post...my fav is the last one

  12. #12
    Danielle's Avatar
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    lol.......... .....wow and we trust these people with our lifes.......
    Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, THAT IS STRENGTH

  13. #13
    shootdeep's Avatar
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    that's good example of why i stay away...far away from doctors. i'm glad they're not all like that!!!

  14. #14
    Devourer's Avatar
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    unfortunately thats what the docs around here sound like. every doctor will tell you something different. basically its like self prescribing medicine here. tell them what you want and they give it to you.

  15. #15
    PTbyJason's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doc M
    WTF??? I don't any Doctor's that I work with that are that dumb!!!!

    Doc M
    LOL, you forgot "know". Good catch kc.

    Sorry Doc, that was just too good to pass up.

  16. #16
    Doc M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PTbyJason
    LOL, you forgot "know". Good catch kc.

    Sorry Doc, that was just too good to pass up.
    I think I was setup by Cycleon!!!!!! Although I am not renowned for my typing skills...

    Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!! And that was a good catch kc

    Doc M
    Last edited by Doc M; 12-25-2003 at 10:48 AM.

  17. #17
    Doc M's Avatar
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    know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know,
    know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know,
    know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know,
    know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know,
    know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know,
    know....................................

    There, as my punishement I have written the missing word 100 times..Just be glad it wasn't a surgical procedure and I forgot to mark the correct limb!!!!

    I still say it was a setup by the evil Cycleon..

    Doc M

  18. #18
    tryingtogetbig's Avatar
    tryingtogetbig is offline Whiney Member
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    it's hard to get away with anything around here!!! lol

    funny post jason!

    I work with dr's everyday...absolutely brilliant people. Sometimes they are too smart for their own good though. Smart as hell just no common sense with some of them. I truly admire how much knowledge they possess...I personally couldn't do it!

    peace,

    ttgb

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