I want to fight a bear

**Nathan** · 01-30-2004, 12:34 AM

The only condition I would have is that I would have two razor-sharp foot-long blades to work with. I think I could take the ****er. First, I'd drop into a crouch, then I'd scream unbearably and urinate everywhere (I would be sans pants as per my usual daily routine). The bear would inevitably be a little more than flustered by my display (without pants, it takes time for other beings to fully come to terms with the glorious appendage that adorns my crotch), at which time I'd launch into a rhythmic dance of jabs and slashes, all directed at the bear's most sensitive areas, namely its eyes and sphincters. Blinded by my furious attack, the bear would have no other option but to turn and flee. To the bear's dismay, I'd have anticipated this cowardly retreat and would launch myself bodily into the air (remember, I'm not wearing any pants for those of you working hard at your mental imagery), landing on the bastard's back and driving my blades deep into its kidneys. As the beast draws its last breath, I'd **** in its mouth (no pants) as any champion would in any situation where such behavior is deemed socially acceptable, like this one. Now, were I forced to wear pants, on the other hand, I'm sure the whole thing would go down a little differently and the bear would definitely have the advantage. Let's just everybody take a minute to picture me wearing a stained white t-shirt, some plaid knee-high socks and nothing else. I know. I so totally know.

**bigol'legs** · 01-30-2004, 12:36 AM

Cool... go try it...

I have some pet goats you could practice on first..

**RoNNy THe BuLL** · 01-30-2004, 12:38 AM

Buuuddddy...
Why you thinkin' about killing a bear?

**LuvMuhRoids** · 01-30-2004, 12:40 AM

RoNNY...woah! Nice Avatar! Nice change from seeing all these azz shots in Avatars.

Originally Posted by RoNNy THe BuLL

Buuuddddy...
Why you thinkin' about killing a bear?

**RoNNy THe BuLL** · 01-30-2004, 12:41 AM

Originally Posted by LuvMyRoids

RoNNY...woah! Nice Avatar! Nice change from seeing all these azz shots in Avatars.

I'm all about the "Tig Ol' Bitties"

**LuvMuhRoids** · 01-30-2004, 12:42 AM

LOL!!!

Originally Posted by RoNNy THe BuLL

I'm all about the "Tig Ol' Bitties"

**Nathan** · 01-30-2004, 12:56 AM

Could we please keep this conversation about me and only me? Thanks.

**bigol'legs** · 01-30-2004, 01:05 AM

Originally Posted by Nathan

Could we please keep this conversation about me and only me? Thanks.

ya.... you bunch of inconsiderate ba$tards....

nathan's trying to tell us he had a brush with death and is now considering moving on to chickens...

**RoNNy THe BuLL** · 01-30-2004, 01:16 AM

Whoa whoa
Chickens? That's just crazy talk.

**Stea7jjdyEddie** · 01-30-2004, 07:07 AM

Ronny the Bull...............I love seeing a nice set of breast at 8:19am!!!!

Steadyyy............

**mass junkie** · 01-30-2004, 08:55 AM

You rock nathan

**Red Ketchup** · 01-30-2004, 09:00 AM

Nathan, I think you've been hanging out with this guy a little too much!

Red

**jeffylyte** · 01-30-2004, 09:08 AM

sphincters? Nathan, I didnt know that bears had more than one. Just what have you been up to?

**Juggernaut** · 01-30-2004, 09:22 AM

You will of course be lifting weights with your "glorious appendage" for conditioning before the actual event correct? I feel (not literally) going into this fight without proper conditioning the bear stands a better chance of getting away when he turns to run, robbing you of a glorious victory. Oh, and what type bear? Might make a difference in attacking techniques although the urinating over everything in sight is a given.

Will obsinaties (sp) be used or just grunts, screams and throaty noises?