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Thread: Fart Football

  1. #1
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    Fart Football

    Fart Football

    A little old couple prepares to go to bed.

    They no sooner hit the pillows when the old man farts and says, "Seven Points."

    His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"

    The old man replied, "It's fart football."

    A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score.."

    After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7."

    Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

    Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."

    Now the pressure is on the old man.

    He refuses to get beat by a woman, so he strains real hard, but to no avail.

    Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got and accidentally craps in the bed.

    The wife says, "What the hell was that?"

    The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

  2. #2
    daman1's Avatar
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    lol ****ing great

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    LoL

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    haha...funny ****

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    Thanks for the laugh bro, I needed it! lmaooooooooo

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    good ****

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    Swellin Guest

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    A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off the at the next stop.

    When the bus starts on it's way the driver says to the hippie, "I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and prays to God. "If you went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are God and you could command her to have sex with you."

    The hippie decides this is a great idea, so that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnight sure enough the nun shows up and begins praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "I AM GOD! I have heard your prayers and I will answer them, BUT ... first you must have sex with me." The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun.

    After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts,"Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the hippie!!"

    Then the nun jumps up and shouts, "Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the bus driver!!"

  10. #10
    Kärnfysikern's Avatar
    Kärnfysikern is offline Retired: AR-Hall of Famer
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    Quote Originally Posted by peregrine
    A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off the at the next stop.

    When the bus starts on it's way the driver says to the hippie, "I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and prays to God. "If you went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are God and you could command her to have sex with you."

    The hippie decides this is a great idea, so that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnight sure enough the nun shows up and begins praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "I AM GOD! I have heard your prayers and I will answer them, BUT ... first you must have sex with me." The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun.

    After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts,"Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the hippie!!"

    Then the nun jumps up and shouts, "Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the bus driver!!"
    Ohh man that one is great

  11. #11
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  12. #12
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  13. #13
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    HAHAHAHAHA

  14. #14
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    Too good Mass, lmao.

  15. #15
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    If you get scammed by an UGL listed on this board or by another member here, it's all part of the game and learning experience for you,
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    I will not do source checks for you, the peer review from other members should be enough to help you make a decision on your quest. Buyer beware.
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