To break up or not to break up ?

[abstrack]

I am not sure if I want to break up with me girl or not? She is a real great gal! She is caring, giving, real supportive, trust worthy, everything you could really ask for but there is just a few things that bug the **** out of me.

For one, she is constantly saying I love you, how much she cares, she wants to marry me, she wants to have babies, etc.. I appreciate all the kind words but everytime she says it, she expects me to say it in return. She is wearing me out over this ****. Right now she is crying her ass off because we had another discussion about how I need to express how much I appreciate her on a daily basis because she needs to know it from me. I left her apt. last night because she wasacting like a freak again with all this ****. I told her that i was not like that and I really dont say that **** all the time.

The thing is, it is not god enough for her. She wants me to say it everyday so it can reassure her of my feelings. She wrote me this email this morning and gave me the option of calling her at noon if I wanted to and if i didnt want to it would be no big deal. Well i having been installing a oudoor ceiling fan today and running wire and I didnt have time to. She called at noon and asked why i did not call and I told her I though it was a option. Next things you know she is turing the situation around into "I dont care about her bull****!!"

I am fuking tired of this sheet!! i dont drink, I dont cheat on her, i take her out when I can, and I do tell her how much i care but this girl is a fooking basketcase right now. i dont understand why i have to say **** every day to reassure her of how I feel. She told me she has low self esteme and that why she needs reassurance but damm it! Do I look like Dr. Phil for fuks sake!

Should I bounce or what? I feel I need to bounce and just take care of my own ****. I shouldn't have to worry about her all them time when I have **** of my own to worry about.

[bermich]

LAME. If you need to ask other people for advice and even a decision on a situation we have no information on other than a paragraph of typed words then you have serious problems not in relation to the relationship.
Should you bounce or not??? Our opinion will help you decide or are you just trying to go with the consensis of the group to help assure you that you made the right decision based on majority?

Do what needs to be done. If you are tired of her then stop being around her.

[hoss827]

Oh come on bro...Even I KNOW what to do on this decision....

the bottom line, is she's extremely insecure. Enough said.

--Hoss

[abstrack]

LAME. If you need to ask other people for advice and even a decision on a situation we have no information on other than a paragraph of typed words then you have serious problems not in relation to the relationship.
Should you bounce or not??? Our opinion will help you decide or are you just trying to go with the consensis of the group to help assure you that you made the right decision based on majority?

Do what needs to be done. If you are tired of her then stop being around her.

Listen doctor Ruth, the thing is that she is one heck of a girl and I dont know if i am being to picky just because a few things. Do you need a run down of everything since day one to give out some of your hard earned thoughts on the situation at hand?

Never mind in replying to this thread since i have already taken up some of your precious time.

[Neo]

Dunno if this will help, but you have to do what is best for you. If you aren't happy then you aren't happy. If she's such a great girl and it's worth it to you, then work it out and compromise. The good ones are few in far between. And all women act a little nuts from time to time and sometimes want more attention...there are no exceptions. Bottom line::::do what makes you happy at the end of the day.....

[abstrack]

Oh come on bro...Even I KNOW what to do on this decision....

the bottom line, is she's extremely insecure. Enough said.

--Hoss

define extreme? extreme in a sense that she starves herself of food because someone said she was fat or ???

[spywizard]

Dude............

After you have sex with her... and she with you do you say "that was Great" or does she say.. "Wow... you're the best"


My point is "I love you" is the same to her... it makes her feel important to you

My wife and her whole family are the same way you are... I get in thier face and say "I love you" especially when we talk on the phone, or before we leave...

I had to explain this to my wife.. She tells me how gorgeous i am every single day... it hasn't become less important just because she says it all the time.. nor does it become less important that we say i love you... alot...


i am making the assumption you love her......

[spywizard]

PS...


By not telling her you love her.... it is telling her she isn't good enough.. she isn't loved........

sorry....... but that is what you are doing........

end it or say "I love you"

[Polska]

spywizard nailed it.....

[ttuPrincess]

Would you like a girls opinion????? well your gonna get it anyways...to break it down easily.. girls are different from boys.. we need to hear I LOVE YOU... if youre not comfortable with saying it that many times a day she needs to know that, but she also needs to be accepting of the fact that you dont like to say it....

you say shes a great girl and all, then you need to show her that, and it doesnt only have to be done by saying I LOVE YOU.. there are many little ways of showing her, email her in the middle of the day saying it, or text message her telling her you had a great time (insert activity here) last night, or that you cant wait to see her tonight..

if its saying the words that freaks you out, make up your own way of saying it.. For example, my boyfriend doesnt say I LOVE YOU infront of his friends, which is no big deal, if I say it when they are around he just says "DITTO" (Yes, copied from GHOST if any of yall caught that)

Bottom line is.. yall need to communicate.. if you talk it out and this is something she needs that you cant give her let her go, it'll be best for both of ya'll, but if it's something you feel can be worked out and comprimised, then go for it.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

[ColdSore]

i think spy and princess hit it right on the money

[Rickson]

Abstrack,
You have been on the board for a while now and I don't buy this for a minute. You don't break up with a great girl over something like this so what is the real problem. If I had to guess you feel like your being pressured into marriage or a more serious situation than you want and this is just the excuse you are using to get out. You better think about hard if this is her only fault.

[hoss827]

define extreme? extreme in a sense that she starves herself of food because someone said she was fat or ???

First off asshole, she didn't starve herself because someone called her fat.. She sees herself differently then others do, it isn't her fault. Anorexia is a mental disorder and is very hard to overcome..I've talked to some of the most respected bros on the board, who themselves have been anorexic. And I would mention the name, but i'm not sure if he would appreciate that too much because it is his personal life And further more, what does that have to do with your girl being insecure? I said she was insecure because of the fact that she needs your assurance that you "love her" everyday. And as far as i'm concerned for the comment you made, you can go to hell.

--Hoss

[ttuPrincess]

First off asshole, she didn't starve herself because someone called her fat.. She sees herself differently then others do, it isn't her fault. And what does that have to do with your girl being insecure? I said she was insecure because of the fact that she needs your assurance that you "love her" everyday. And as far as i'm concerned for the comment you made, you can go to hell.

--Hoss

WHOA!!!! Not meaning to get in the middle of a fight or anything but calm down!!!!!!

First of all every girl sees herself differently then others do...... and most girls do need to be reassured that they are loved... both of those things are just in how most girls are raised in this society...

Now boys play nice....

[hoss827]

WHOA!!!! Not meaning to get in the middle of a fight or anything but calm down!!!!!!

First of all every girl sees herself differently then others do...... and most girls do need to be reassured that they are loved... both of those things are just in how most girls are raised in this society...

Now boys play nice....

It just irritates me that when someone asks for someones opinion, and they get a response they don't like, they immediatley start disrespecting other board members for the response. YOU asked for the opinion. If you dont like the opinion I gave earlier, go punch a whole through a wall, not someones heart..

--Hoss

[Devourer]

It just irritates me that when someone asks for someones opinion, and they get a response they don't like, they immediatley start disrespecting other board members for the response. YOU asked for the opinion. If you dont like the opinion I gave earlier, go punch a whole through a wall, not someones heart..

--Hoss

now hoss, you should see the irony in your original post. you state so matter of factly about not being with someone insecure. yet you seem to be with the most insecure girl. irony? i think so.

[ttuPrincess]

Not taking sides, or meaning to sound like a mom, but maybe Hoss, you cuold have given your opinion in a nicer way, or have elaborated on it.... take sometime to think about what your gonna say and how it may effect that person once you do say it is all I'm trying to...????? SAY????? hum that doesnt sound right either but whatever

[hoss827]

now hoss, you should see the irony in your original post. you state so matter of factly about not being with someone insecure. yet you seem to be with the most insecure girl. irony? i think so.

I see what you mean , yes. But the fact that he asked for the board members opinion, and then when one is given and he explodes like that , just seems to irritate me a little... As far as my girl goes, shes never complained if i didn't tell her i loved her one day, because she knows I do, otherwise I wouldn't be with her.

[hoss827]

Not taking sides, or meaning to sound like a mom, but maybe Hoss, you cuold have given your opinion in a nicer way, or have elaborated on it.... take sometime to think about what your gonna say and how it may effect that person once you do say it is all I'm trying to...????? SAY????? hum that doesnt sound right either but whatever

Do you see the hypocracy on his part though? I make a thread asking for help, and he flames the hell out of me for it. I gave my input, and it wasn't in the nicest way, but I didn't make fun of him, or call his girl a jackass, or stupid, or mentally unstable or anything like that. Did I?

[Devourer]

Oh come on bro...Even I KNOW what to do on this decision....

the bottom line, is she's extremely insecure. Enough said.

--Hoss

yes hoss he asked for our opinions. but you could have worded that much better imo. he reacted to your statement strongly because it was a strong statement.

[hoss827]

yes hoss he asked for our opinions. but you could have worded that much better imo. he reacted to your statement strongly because it was a strong statement.

Yeah, but look who fired first..Look who was holding the gun before Hoss was..

[ttuPrincess]

Oh come on bro...Even I KNOW what to do on this decision....

the bottom line, is she's extremely insecure. Enough said.

--Hoss

Saying "even I know what to do" was rude.... its basically saying DUH are you stupid, even if you didnt mean it that way.

And I do recall you getting a bit upset when people didnt respond exactly how you wanted then to either...

Really sounding like a Mom here... but... and not just to you Hoss, when someone asks for advice.... if you dont have something nice to say, or atleast elaborate on why you feel that way, dont say anything at all.... if you think their screwing up their lives let them... it wont hurt you in the least bit

[Testify]

Some good points here abstrack . . . if all you have to do to make her happy is to tell her that you love her once a day - well, I wish that was my biggest problem. If you do love her, tell her so. Like tt said, they need to hear it or have it demonstrated to them often. It took me a while to get this myself. I made a point to tell my wife this everyday, and now its second nature . . . and we almost never have this conversation anymore.

On the other hand, perhaps Rickson is correct. Maybe its more than that? I remember questioning whether I really wanted to commit to somone forever. It is a scary proposition, even for those who end up perfectly happy. If you feel like she is getting ahead of herself (and you) by talking about marriage and babies, maybe you two should have a talk. Be direct. Be honest. If she is as great as you say she is, she will be sensitive to your feelings and maybe hold off on the baby talk for a while. Just emphasize that you are not rejecting her, especially if she has insecurity issues.

In the end, you still really like dating her (possibly love her?), and you have plenty of time to see where you two can go from there. Take it easy, but you need to communicate to her those things that make you uncomfortable, because if you do not she will assume otherwise.

[QbHunter]

define extreme? extreme in a sense that she starves herself of food because someone said she was fat or ???

not cool man

[Devourer]

Yeah, but look who fired first..Look who was holding the gun before Hoss was..

but wasnt that a different day different thread? and just imagining you with a gun is scary. hoss i really dont care if you get mad at abstrack. he just got defensive when you flat out told him to leave his gf like there is no other way. everyone gets defensive when something they care about is put in a negative light.IMO... AD

[hoss827]

If i made that comment sound the wrong way, I apologize.. I meant that he should eiether say the words"Il ove you." if you truly care for her, or leave her if shes that insecure.

--Hoss

[Devourer]

If i made that comment sound the wrong way, I apologize.. I meant that he should eiether say the words"Il ove you." if you truly care for her, or leave her if shes that insecure.

--Hoss

takes a big man to apologize hoss

[ttuPrincess]

If i made that comment sound the wrong way, I apologize.. I meant that he should eiether say the words"Il ove you." if you truly care for her, or leave her if shes that insecure.

--Hoss

Much better! Oh Im happy now.. I hate confrontations....... I will be able to get off the computer now and take my bubble bath in peace.... see ya in a while boys and girls!

[hoss827]

I didn't apologize, I just stated my comment more clearly. He can still go to hell.

--Hoss

[QbHunter]

this whole thing by abstrak just seems like a whole 'attention/let me post something diferent' deal. who is gonna really base such a desicion on what is said here??? i know someone said something along these lines, and i just wanted to second it.

[hoss827]

this whole thing by abstrak just seems like a whole 'attention/let me post something diferent' deal. who is gonna really base such a desicion on what is said here??? i know someone said something along these lines, and i just wanted to second it.

Guilty to that...I asked for advice, I wouldn't base my decision on the thoughts of others though..Not about this kind of thing.

[Devourer]

I didn't apologize, I just stated my comment more clearly. He can still go to hell.

--Hoss

then you might want to edit out the part that says I APOLOGIZE!

[ttuPrincess]

I didn't apologize, I just stated my comment more clearly. He can still go to hell.

--Hoss

Dont make me send you boys to 2 different boring threads asking "if you can drink winny" and make you think about what you have done...... HE HE I make myself laugh....I'll be a great parent one day!!!!!

[Devourer]

Dont make me send you boys to 2 different boring threads asking "if you can drink winny" and make you think about what you have done...... HE HE I make myself laugh....I'll be a great aprent one day!!!!!

good idea

[hoss827]

then you might want to edit out the part that says I APOLOGIZE!

I apologized for him taking my comment the wrong way. He can yet, STILL go to hell..

[Devourer]

I apologized for him taking my comment the wrong way. He can yet, STILL go to hell..

easy there hossy poo! and i thought my emotions were runnin wild!

[QbHunter]

Honey-nutted bunny bangers,....thats all i got to say...

[hoss827]

easy there hossy poo! and i thought my emotions were runnin wild!

These comments don't mean I don't love you bro,

[ttuPrincess]

I apologized for him taking my comment the wrong way. He can yet, STILL go to hell..

And I thought girls had all the drama!!!

[QbHunter]

easy there hossy poo! and i thought my emotions were runnin wild!

hey, understand that he is young, and his mind and body are going through a transitional stage.....His body is changing and... just kidding hossy