Can't Shake this Depression

Whats up guys?. I'am so totally miserable lately I feel like I've hit rock bottom. I keep thinking that I'm a failure, and that I should have more to show for myself, and that I should be in some kind of committed realationship with some girl right now; and I'm not. I feel alone and isolated; and anxious, like I want something anything, to happen to change things. I keep thinking I'm going to be working till the day I die and have nothing to show for it. I keep thinking about a bleak future. Also, I just found out that an ex-girl friend of mine ( who I absolutely loved to death) is taking time away from her boyfriend, and I keep thinking of how much I loved this girl and how in a second I would leap at the chance to get her back. But, then I pull myself into realality and force myself to realize, that this thinking is childish nonsense. And it's killing me. I feel like i have no enthusiasm for anything at all right now. I do have a strong belief though, that all this **** I'm feeling now is a Direct result of my PCT and clomid usage. I'm 12 days into my clomid therepy, and I can't wait for it end. I was wondering if any of you guys ever go through this when you run clomid. Because right now I feel like a girl having her period, and usually I'm like an emotional rock.

Never mind the clomid bro, look at your calendar and where you are (north east)...

Seasonal depression disorder... many people get it when winter starts to stretch out... I've been feeling like a pile of shiite for the last few weeks so I've been concentrating on those I love and care for. Makes me feel a little better.

Of course the clomid probably does make the seasonal depression worse...

Strangely enough it all goes away as soon as the nice season starts... god I can't wait for the nice season! :D

Come on bro, lets get a tub of Ben & Jerry's "Cherry Garcia" ice cream and cry over it while stuffing our faces :)

Red

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Originally Posted by Red Ketchup

Come on bro, lets get a tub of Ben & Jerry's "Cherry Garcia" ice cream and cry over it while stuffing our faces :)

Red

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:lol: that's funny, made me laugh :) .

I've been there bro.. It comes and goes.. Gotta stay strong, ALWAYS think positive.. I think you should do anything and everything you can to be happy.. Coming off BLOWS!!! Watch the Diet for sure, and stay dedicated to training it is very important to stay focused during PCT!!!! Keep as much of your gains as you can..

Good luck bro

We're here if you need anything

yeah i know that depression. not just from pct either. it sucks. keep your head up and hit the gym man. Now is the time for keeping the gains, stay strong bro.

peace

I think we have all been in your shoes. Over time you will recognize the trigger points of your depression (clomid, deca, etc.) and you will know how to circumvent your blue feelings.

Hang tight bro. Better days are ahead! :cheers:

C'mon bro dont say sh*t like that.....coming off always gives me depression.........i really hate it......plus you live on this god forsaken island. Your thinking to much about things you shouldnt be bugging out over. Just take it one day at a time bro......tomorrow is a new day

Clomid can cause depression?

Im right there with you man... its hard. Very hard :(

Keep in mind there is no rock bottom. If you think you've hit it you have not cause death is the real rock bottom so as long as your still alive your doing ok.

:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Your not alone bro, more people then you think go threw the same kinds of BS, just use all that hate and anger your have in you to hit those weights even harder!!

Im depressed very often but clomid made the depressions so bad that I have promised myself to NEVER EVER touch it again no matter what. I would rather end a cycle without pct then use clomid again.

Bro if you got any nolva left switch to that again and keep your head upp. Depressions sucks but they always go away!!

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Originally Posted by JohnDoe1234

Also, I just found out that an ex-girl friend of mine ( who I absolutely loved to death) is taking time away from her boyfriend, and I keep thinking of how much I loved this girl and how in a second I would leap at the chance to get her back. But, then I pull myself into realality and force myself to realize, that this thinking is childish nonsense. And it's killing me. .

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Trying not to get too personal but....why would it be nonsense to try to communicate to someone you once loved. Especially if they made you feel good. Maybe it's whats the doctor ordered??? :unsure:
Unless of course you guys had a bad fallout and too many issues to deal with. I've found that starting back as friends sometimes helps, because those are the ones that you have spent alot of quality time with and could possibly help with the depression... Or if not......at least the sex might help... :rolleyes: j/k

No seriously.... Depression is a terrible thing, and I can completely relate. Sorry but just a womans opinion... Sometimes it feels like theres no end...then eventually as time passes there is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel. The more depressed you are the more people will drift away from you...It's a fact...people can sense the tension and don't want to be a part of it. I've learned this from my very own experience and it's no fun.

Just try keeping a smile today!!! Hope things get better. :)

Babyweight

The PCT def has something to do with it bro.....I wouldnt even post on AR for awhile because of it.....but you'll pull through it bro...... and just think....in a few weeks you'll be planning on your next (bigger) cycle just to go through this all again.....fun aint it.... ;) Love ya man

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Originally Posted by Babyweight

Trying not to get too personal but....why would it be nonsense to try to communicate to someone you once loved. Especially if they made you feel good. Maybe it's whats the doctor ordered??? :unsure:
Unless of course you guys had a bad fallout and too many issues to deal with. I've found that starting back as friends sometimes helps, because those are the ones that you have spent alot of quality time with and could possibly help with the depression... Or if not......at least the sex might help... :rolleyes: j/k



Babyweight

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I wish it were that simple BW. But we haven't even spoken in over a year;granted that has alot to do with me, but still. She actually wanted to remain civil when we parted ways, but I didn't. i wanted to hate her, so I could forget about her. I mean I truely didn't hate her, but it was too hard for me to be anything less than her boyfriend. And there was alot of drama involved at one point. What I hate is this; not to brag, but I have been with alot of girls since her, and still find that I think about her and we haven't been together in 2 years. I hate that I do that, I feel like a loser for still thinking about her, I feel like I should have been like any other guy and just said fukc it, and move on. I don't want to be one of those fuking sob story guys that always talks about the one that got away, and never moves on. I don't know, I usually don't feel this way, I really think the clomid is really kicking my ass though. Anyways BW I appreciate your help and your comments, and no they were not too personal at all.

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Originally Posted by mass junkie

The PCT def has something to do with it bro.....I wouldnt even post on AR for awhile because of it.....but you'll pull through it bro...... and just think....in a few weeks you'll be planning on your next (bigger) cycle just to go through this all again.....fun aint it.... ;) Love ya man

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What do you mean in a FEW weeks I'll be planning!?. Hell Mass baby, I was planning my upcoming cycle before my last one finished :lol: . Hell mid May, Tren/Prop baby :) .And your right, I can't wait to go through PCT hell again :rolleyes: . Oh boy, the things we put ourselves through in pursuit of jackedness :p .

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Originally Posted by USfighterFC

C'mon bro dont say sh*t like that.....coming off always gives me depression.........i really hate it......plus you live on this god forsaken island. Your thinking to much about things you shouldnt be bugging out over. Just take it one day at a time bro......tomorrow is a new day

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Thanks bro, your right. You're def one of my favorite bros on AR. Us L.I. boys gotta stick together.

Its ok you still think about her bro....you really liked her as your g/f and there is nothing wrong with that......look when i got diagnosed with cancer and told my g/f I had it she said she wouldnt be there for me and she wasnt...no calls no e-mails....nothing.....i still know that i love her and would do anything for her even though she did that............now your def not a loser for still caring for her........look at me man LOL....after all that I'd still help her.........your PCT is what's fuking you up right now...you gotta realize this as hard as it may be...it's def having an effect on you....just relax remember you got people who are here bro and have gone through the same thing. Hey we may bounce together and may be cops together and we're gonna kick some ass either way....keep focused on the future bor dont dwell on the past...what's done is done.......maybe you and your girl still have a possibility of getting back together you never know...stranger things have happened. You're gonna be ok and you'll get through this fine....just wait till after your PCT and see how you feel then.

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Originally Posted by USfighterFC

Its ok you still think about her bro....you really liked her as your g/f and there is nothing wrong with that......look when i got diagnosed with cancer and told my g/f I had it she said she wouldnt be there for me and she wasnt...no calls no e-mails....nothing.....i still know that i love her and would do anything for her even though she did that............now your def not a loser for still caring for her........look at me man LOL....after all that I'd still help her.........your PCT is what's fuking you up right now...you gotta realize this as hard as it may be...it's def having an effect on you....just relax remember you got people who are here bro and have gone through the same thing. Hey we may bounce together and may be cops together and we're gonna kick some ass either way....keep focused on the future bor dont dwell on the past...what's done is done.......maybe you and your girl still have a possibility of getting back together you never know...stranger things have happened. You're gonna be ok and you'll get through this fine....just wait till after your PCT and see how you feel then.

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Thanks bro, your post helped put things in a proper perspective. It was very insightful. And your also right about that fact that we may bounce togther this summer and that we may kickass on the streets of NY together. Thanks again.

No problem dude we all been there...some just more differently than others.

Whats up boys and girls?, I just wanted to tell everyone here ( especially you Fighter :cool: ) that I'm feeling 1000% better. I don't know what it was but I woke up today and felt great. Maybe my hormones finally balanced out or my test levels are back up, but man I feel soooooo much better than I did. I'm glad you guys were here for it all, I mean I have my own crew friends, but sometimes you need outside input and opinions as well. Thanks again.

Glad to hear it bro......I owe you for that "inside information" you gave me. In fact I'm getting my drug test in about 3 weeks.......man I hope you're right or I'm sooooo fuked lol

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Originally Posted by USfighterFC

Glad to hear it bro......I owe you for that "inside information" you gave me. In fact I'm getting my drug test in about 3 weeks.......man I hope you're right or I'm sooooo fuked lol

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anything for one of my boys. Don't worry bro, you will be fine.