Do you always feel small?

**bigjaylow** · 03-20-2005, 07:07 PM

I'm not sure but for some reason people say how big I am all the time, but when I look at myself I never seem to look as big as I would like to be. Right now I'm 246lbs at 5'10 with body fat somewhere in 15-20% not ripped but just started winny in my cycle. Is it normal to always feel insignificantly small whaen you train everyday and everyoneelse sees how big you are and you don't?

**Juddman** · 03-20-2005, 07:09 PM

Insignificantly small? Yes, that is a little unusual. I like where I am, I feel pretty big usually...but I always have room for more. I think thats a healthy way of thinking about it.
What youre describing is called muscle dysmorphia..no matter how big you get, you always feel small. Opposite of anorexia nervosa.

**Juddman** · 03-20-2005, 07:10 PM

And dont worry, I'm not trying to label you...they just have a name for everything these days. I just wrote a psych exam yesteday and I covered that in my research.

**MacT** · 03-20-2005, 07:15 PM

It is VERY normal, a lot of bodybuilders have that. It's called body dysmorphia (i think that is the technical term for it). It's like reverse anorexia. It normally happens if you have some sort of esteem issue with yourself. Some of the vets might blast this but it really comes down to psychology. If you have self esteem issues, low self esteem essentially, you never see yourself positively no matter how big or cut you become. This is essentially the only reason non-competitive bodybuilders take juice. Think about it. Why take the risks if you have no financial gain? You do it to try and make yourself feel better about yourself. You try to get bigger and stronger to seek happiness and raise your opinion of yourself. But you never feel satisfied. That's why other people comment about your development but you don't agree or see it that way. I know everything I just said is true because I have the same things happen to me, but without the juice, not yet anyway, and I am not as large as you. Later bro

**Deezuhl** · 03-20-2005, 07:15 PM

I feel that way alot. I see trainers and other guys in the gym and i am like **** that guy is jacked up. I am only 5' 9" 210 around 13-14BF. When i see others guys at the gym and mention how big certain guys look they say i am bigger. Some days i see it but some days i feel small. Its really weird. Its also good not seeing myself as bigger because it keeps my ego in check and keep my drive going. I wonder how big i am going to have to get to know I really stand out. Please dont say big as SWOLECAT

**AVAGO** · 03-20-2005, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by MacT

It is VERY normal, a lot of bodybuilders have that. It's called body dysmorphia (i think that is the technical term for it). It's like reverse anorexia. It normally happens if you have some sort of esteem issue with yourself. Some of the vets might blast this but it really comes down to psychology. If you have self esteem issues, low self esteem essentially, you never see yourself positively no matter how big or cut you become. This is essentially the only reason non-competitive bodybuilders take juice. Think about it. Why take the risks if you have no financial gain? You do it to try and make yourself feel better about yourself. You try to get bigger and stronger to seek happiness and raise your opinion of yourself. But you never feel satisfied. That's why other people comment about your development but you don't agree or see it that way. I know everything I just said is true because I have the same things happen to me, but without the juice, not yet anyway, and I am not as large as you. Later bro

Yup nice reply that **** bodydimorphia

**MacT** · 03-20-2005, 07:25 PM

I was just trying to help and give info, unfortunately I have this and it's like nothing you ever accomplish or do in the gym or how much you enhance and make changes to your body is ever enuff for yourself. P

**newbrew** · 03-20-2005, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by Juddman

Insignificantly small? Yes, that is a little unusual. I like where I am, I feel pretty big usually...but I always have room for more. I think thats a healthy way of thinking about it.
What youre describing is called muscle dysmorphia..no matter how big you get, you always feel small. Opposite of anorexia nervosa.

smallerexia.

all in all, its probably similar to the same mental conditions females have with anorexia, just opposite, as you said.

No matter how big you get, you will probably always be insecure with yourself. Id suggest taking on whatever it is that is truly causing your insecurity, hiding behind muscles is only a psuedo fix.

**Danbrooks2k** · 03-20-2005, 07:36 PM

at 6'2 around 215 I look skinny compared to a shorter guy the same weight... or compared to some of the 230-240 guys at my gym... but some are 20% BF I am less than 10% doing the math I actually have more muscle mass....

I think I have a moderate case of dysmorphia but I mainly just feel like I must not be training hard enough or eating enough... I really dont want that feeling to go away... at least not until I am 300lbs...

I just started living clean and drug/alchohol/ciggrette free and have seen more improvement in 2 weeks than I usually would in a year... so I am not worried...

fortunatley I have a freakish build 32' waist and look about 4 foot wide at the shoulders with nice big melons for delts popping out and cobra lats... I cant I magine how I will feel when I get really big...

**AVAGO** · 03-20-2005, 07:37 PM

I hope carlos doesnt mind me saying but even he gets bodydismorphia and that dude looks awsome IMHO. just a trick of the mind, try not to listen to it....

**MacT** · 03-20-2005, 08:18 PM

Originally Posted by newbrew

smallerexia.

all in all, its probably similar to the same mental conditions females have with anorexia, just opposite, as you said.

No matter how big you get, you will probably always be insecure with yourself. Id suggest taking on whatever it is that is truly causing your insecurity, hiding behind muscles is only a psuedo fix.

Ya I know man, I'm getting therapy. Thanks for the concern bro.........P

**tycin** · 03-20-2005, 08:26 PM

i'm the same way, i know i'm not small but it still fuks wit my head. lol...til i try to buy shirts and its immposible to find them that fit

**timeismoney** · 03-20-2005, 08:27 PM

People can say whatever they want, but we know want to look like. And although what we look like now could be amazing to others, it's not what we want in the long run so it is outshined by the future. Just my thoughts.

**Ntpadude** · 03-20-2005, 08:46 PM

Originally Posted by MacT

I was just trying to help and give info, unfortunately I have this and it's like nothing you ever accomplish or do in the gym or how much you enhance and make changes to your body is ever enuff for yourself. P

And the reality is... a well built 190 lbs guy with 10% body fat is in the top 20% of most muscular guys in the population. You are way ahead of the majority of the population.

**AG5678** · 03-20-2005, 08:51 PM

it sux i am the same way to

**Juddman** · 03-20-2005, 08:54 PM

Originally Posted by Ntpadude

And the reality is... a well built 190 lbs guy with 10% body fat is in the top 20% of most muscular guys in the population. You are way ahead of the majority of the population.

I would say much higher for the general population too..prob more like top 1% Look at society these days...obesity is rampant.

**Danbrooks2k** · 03-20-2005, 08:58 PM

i live in the south padre island area, shorts and tank tops year around... i look abosulutley magnificint compared 99% of these kids 15 years younger than me... i just want more overall thickness and size...

eating this very moment... gonna chase it with a protien shake... ill get there, sooner or later...

**hercules88** · 03-20-2005, 08:59 PM

i was thinking the same thing to myself a few days ago. when i look in the mirror i feel small. it really sux. but a few days ago my and my friends made a video of me tossing a foose ball table and when i saw myself i almost thought i was too big for a second. it was realy wierd. the video made me look huge. i guess it was kind of like looking through a pair of neutral eyes. cause when i look at myself even after the video i feel small. btw im 215 12% bf 5'7 (on a good day)

**Italion Stallion07** · 03-20-2005, 09:57 PM

no matter how big family and friends say you are gettin... it is never enough and you never feel satisfied. thats probably the best that for us though... makes me work harder and focus on what i want outta my training

**big daddy k de** · 03-20-2005, 11:16 PM

thinking i am small keeps me hungry

**EatRite** · 03-20-2005, 11:27 PM

if this didnt exist, or things similar to it (aka trying to get your bench at 500+ which serves no real world function), i dont think anybody would take steriods ...

**maxmuscle187** · 03-21-2005, 01:38 AM

I always feel small. i guess its because theres always someone bigger....but even tho ppl say whoa ur pretty big,,, i still dont see it....

**maxmuscle187** · 03-21-2005, 01:39 AM

only once when i was watchin a home video did irealize how big i was....i dwarfed all of my cuzins

then i knew i was BIG....and i had no neck!

**YounG_SluG11** · 03-21-2005, 01:41 AM

Thinking that youre small is good in a way.
Makes you work a lot harder.

**bigjaylow** · 03-21-2005, 06:51 AM

thank guys i still feel small and hope it motivates me to keep lifting

**Angelis** · 03-21-2005, 07:01 AM

Originally Posted by bigjaylow

I'm not sure but for some reason people say how big I am all the time, but when I look at myself I never seem to look as big as I would like to be. Right now I'm 246lbs at 5'10 with body fat somewhere in 15-20% not ripped but just started winny in my cycle. Is it normal to always feel insignificantly small whaen you train everyday and everyoneelse sees how big you are and you don't?

I think most of us here are in the same boat with ya bro im a pretty good size. But when I look in the mirror I still see average size me I dont really seem to get bigger at all. Step on the scale and I know different. Since I started juicing people keep saying ur getting bigger / leaner I just look at them wierd bcs I dont see it.

**Hed** · 03-21-2005, 08:44 AM

Same way, i see the big guys in the gym and my buddy goes "dude, your right tere with them" but im like "no friggin way"

Also called the Adonis Complex.........you are a big guy, strong as hell, but dont feel like, you are striving to look like that 'bigger' guy you saw the other day.

Pretty sure i have that also........

**West Coast All Star** · 03-21-2005, 08:47 AM

I think this is very common. There are days when I feel just average and others when I feel so swole that I know I am the man. It definitley comes down to the psyche. I think, being bbs and workout junkies, we all are perfectionists and will never be truly satisfied with our appearance or progress. That is why we keep on keepin' on...day in...day out. Gotta be a lifer!

**The Baron** · 03-21-2005, 09:04 AM

Almost every recreational BBer and probably many pros have this "big-orexia" dismorphia thingie. It is only harmful if taken to manic extremes. I see a lot of gear junkies who rely on the gear to boost the low self esteem that is the root cause of at least all the serious cases of dismorphia. I see guys giving up EVERYTHING important in their lives to focus ENTIRELY on BBing. Taken to those extremes, it is a totally bad thing, but you generally can't convince the subject of this, except maybe after a hard crash, when they usually realize that something has gone terribly wrong and off-tilt.

I look in the mirror myself, when off cycle, and I never know if I will feel dissapointed, challenged, or revved up or depressed by feelings of being too small; or if I will feel tremendously chuffed at how good I look. A good balance in your self esteem is healthy, I think. It should be normal to have times when you feel like you haven't been doing enough, like you are failing to live up to your potential, and it should be normal to have days when you feel on top of the world. When you have only one of those views of yourself exclusively, you have a problem, I think. (Well, except the megalomanic feelings of superiority one feels on the gear, LOL!)

Addressing underlying self esteem issues can be tough. BBing puts one in a much different mental state than ordinary people. The focus, the intensity, the vigorously pursued goals, all tend to mask our more basic character traits. Self esteem is artificially or maybe I should say superficially boosted when one is looking really good. Think how much more eager and confident you are about approaching a hot babe when you are looking teriffic yourself, and how you sometimes have moments of doubt about the same situation when you have a bit of belly or zero definition or your size is down.

**JdFlex** · 03-21-2005, 09:49 AM

My fiance makes funny of me all the time for this. I'm always telling her how I'm not big enough and she laughs and tells me that I will never be satisfied no matter how big I get. I'm not small by any means. When I hang out with friends and family people make comments about my size. And I know that I'm doing better than the majority of the population. But this is the thing for me. The majority of the population are not bodybuilders. The real question is how do I rank among you all, our community. In those terms I think I'm probably average. And I'm not used to being average. The thing that pisses me off sometimes is I'll look in the mirror and I wonder why I'm not bigger and more cut. I've been training and eating seriously for X amount of years and this is the best I've got to show for it??? Sometimes I think I put in so much work but see so little results. That's what keeps my fire burning to become bigger and more cut than the majority of YOU!!!

**shrunkennutz116** · 03-21-2005, 10:31 AM

i defintly feel small. i think im fairly big for my age compared to most 18 year olds but i dont eat, and train like the average 18 year old. i bust my ass day in and day out and i still feel small. i dont compare myself to the average skinny dude. i look at all the huge guys and think **** im nothing. i dont even like leaving my house ne more unless its the gym or work because i might miss a meal or have to eat a cheat meal. hopefuly one day i will feel i acomplished what i wanted to do but i dont think it will ever be enough.

**BlocRoc** · 03-21-2005, 11:20 AM

We all feel the same way.....

Some days I walk around and catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and I realize that I look like Im a BB'er (which I dont think I am, Im a techie) and I look huge... Might have something to do with the clothes, the day, how I feel, who knows!

Then there are days that I see myself in the mirror and I think that I have bunk gear, dont grow, and am wasting my time with everything! At those points I usually bug my fiancee to tell me how big I am or some crap like that and she jokingly tells me that she wont touch me cuz it'll make my head bigger... She always reminds me that she can no longer roll me over when Im asleep, and the fact that I've gained a bit over 25 lbs in the last month and a half...

We all suffer from this. The desire to be bigger, leaner, stronger, whatever.....

I agree with everyone that it is the main drive behind what makes us grow and push harder..... As long as you're not using a gram a week for a first cycle, or being unhealthy, which is very possible for people like us... and we all are quite obsessive compulsive to a certain extent!

L8 and be healthy!

**p0d0078** · 03-21-2005, 06:24 PM

I'm not the biggest kid on the block,but this happens to me all the time. When i was in middle school i used to be the fat kid, the one everyone made fun of and then just got in the gym and i look pretty good. Now when i'm by myself i do my flexing ritual in the mirror and i think i'm big but when i look at the mirror in the gym i see myself as a straw.

**bradd5150** · 03-21-2005, 10:34 PM

ditto.....in the gym it's like some mirrors make me look better than other ones. its like i think the ones that make me look good are slightly convexed just enough that you cant tell but it makes you look bigger. kind of funny really, like the funhouse mirrors at the fair. its good though it keeps you bustin your balls....

**str8cubano** · 03-21-2005, 10:44 PM

Its simple. You always have to have a goal. Once you reach that goal, you need to make a new one. Its with anything in life. Then life gets boring. Once you get big, maybe you wanna get cut..maybe you want to work on defeintion. Maybe you still want to get bigger. If you go to the gym with the mentality that your just going to "Maintain", then bull**** you loose motivation. There always has to be a goal . In the case of bodybuilders, its get bigger with muscle and loose the fat. THe goals have always pretty much been the same. But if you reach those goals, then you need new ones...because if not, then whats the point of going to the gym to maintain..thats no fun. Sure people say that all the time, but deep down inside there needs to be a reason. IF everything were to stay the same, things would get pretty boring, I guess the same goes for our physiques. We didn't dedicate 10-20 years of our life lifting weights and eating right to just Maintain. THats just my 50cents.

**niXon)(** · 03-21-2005, 11:01 PM

Originally Posted by bradd5150

ditto.....in the gym it's like some mirrors make me look better than other ones. its like i think the ones that make me look good are slightly convexed just enough that you cant tell but it makes you look bigger. kind of funny really, like the funhouse mirrors at the fair. its good though it keeps you bustin your balls....

HAHAHAHA

That happens to me too! I'm like WTF, in this mirror im giganto/sholders size of elephant, and this one I look the same as usual...do they really do that in gyms, typically golds? I think its the cuts between the mirrors, where they attatch each mirror together...yea ive thought of it alot in the gym lol.

**bk2718** · 03-21-2005, 11:03 PM

I feel the same way, I also think im small at times. Since I was a little punk when I was younger I always consider myself still little. People tell me how much bigger I look but for some reason I dont agree. So thats what makes me go to the gym day in and day out.

**spittin' 'n cussin'** · 03-22-2005, 12:26 AM

might this feeling of always feeling small be due to the depression that comes from steroid use ? i dont want to sound like the newsweek article on teens using steroids . does the depression, if any at all, come at the end when you cant lift as much anymore, or just the way you think people think of you while youre on steroids? my friend is halfway through his cycle and he was saying the other day that he thinks some of our other friends dont like him for some reason. i didnt mention anything about depression, but i was thinking about it. im half way through mine too and sometimes i feel like a **** badass and sometimes i feel like everyone is talking about me and that im such an asshole or something. maybe some extra estrogen production causing some bitchy mood swings? i dunno

**XxElitexX** · 03-22-2005, 12:30 AM

It is VERY normal, a lot of bodybuilders have that. It's called body dysmorphia (i think that is the technical term for it). It's like reverse anorexia. It normally happens if you have some sort of esteem issue with yourself. Some of the vets might blast this but it really comes down to psychology. If you have self esteem issues, low self esteem essentially, you never see yourself positively no matter how big or cut you become. This is essentially the only reason non-competitive bodybuilders take juice. Think about it. Why take the risks if you have no financial gain? You do it to try and make yourself feel better about yourself. You try to get bigger and stronger to seek happiness and raise your opinion of yourself. But you never feel satisfied. That's why other people comment about your development but you don't agree or see it that way. I know everything I just said is true because I have the same things happen to me, but without the juice, not yet anyway, and I am not as large as you. Later bro

i agree with this 100%

**jordanfanatic23** · 03-22-2005, 12:31 AM

look at it this way, you see your self more than anyone else, so of course you look smaller

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