I need info on how to pass a urine test!!ASAP!

I have read many posts on urine tests from many threads, but I have never read anything about tips on passing one. Im a hockey player and about to start a 10week cycle of Equipose. I need to know from any of you guys here that compete, athletes, or anyone who knows anything about passing a urine test whick tests for steroids. Ive hears of different cleansing kits that clean out your entire body, blood included, and am thinking of trying that before. I am also thinking of pissing in a jar before I start my cycle so when I go to do the urine test i will bring that. I know it sounds funny, buy im desperate. Any help would be appreciated.

Well, if you piss in a jar beforehand, you'll have to have means of heating it up when before you stick it in the testing bottle. There's a little thermometer on the cup that you piss in and it has to be within a certain range or else they won't take it.

Also, depends on how the test is run. Some tests they watch you piss - most NCAA sanctioned tests are run this way. But, some tests they just give you the bottle and tell you go to piss and bring it back. If that's the case, then just get someone else to piss for you - that simple.

As a previous college athlete ( yes we are tested and clean) hehehehe.......more often than not bro, the tester will do everything and I mean everything to ensure that the oldest trick in the book is not brought into the equation. Especially if a tester unaffiliated with your school!!!!! Not a chance in hell.

Every move will be watched!!!! except for the actual whipping it out if you know what I mean. Pre filled containers/bags are screened the minute you enter the "clinic", long before the test as you sign your name etc...Coats and loose garments go on the coat rack too!! Wallets and keys go in the lock box.

Point is, keep the deca and EQ on the sidelines. If you must use AS, IMO, avoid the EQ and deca for reasons always discussed here. There are better choices if you must dabble with the gear.

As the Key Mastur oh so accurately states, if the school needs the AS athlete for NCAA revenue, it is sad, but reality, and they will look the other way and your team will all be jacked llike MOFO's. But to my experience, good luck in beating the NCAA system bro.

Well thanks for the input guys. What im thinking of doing for now is putting a clean sample in a condom and taping it to the base of my penis. This way i will be able to puncture a tiny hole in it and it will seem like i am pissing. Now about the temperature of the urine, im hoping that something taped around the penis should be warm, so i hope this will work. Does this sound good to you?

ehh? its kinda risky!!!!!!! but i dont think just a condom around your penis will be a high enough temp!!!!

why dont you just do like planet x said and be safe I dont think I would risk it use an alternate roid that doesnt have as long of a half life!

I know what you mean. The reason I wanna do EQ is because I got it for dirt cheap, I mean cheap, and i am looking for the results it gives. I know there has to be a way to pass it, but thanks for the help guys.

I admire your determination and creativity bro. However, there are too many external factors beyond your control.

How soon after someone pisses in the condom, will your test be? Does the tester get a phone call? Does the eprson before you get stage fright? Does someone have to move thy bowels too?? hehehehe You get the point. Too much margin of error beyond your control.

Fillout paperwork? In other words, the urine, lets say 98.6, cools the second it hits the condom at what rate??? You must find out.

If you want to go with this bro, you need to invest in a thermometer and find out how much time you have before it cools......to a false positive.

I cannot recall, the safe range..........furthermore ever consider the notion that EQ metabolites will not be tested for?? And you fail yourself without having to do so? In other words, the epi/epitest ratio may only be tested????

And finally, do not utilize a females urine. A PREGNANT MALE is a postive failure.

why dont you sell th EQ?

make a profit!

then turn it into test

Thanks for everyones opinion on the subject, and I get what all of you are saying. Ill post what im gonna do it i decide to do it. Thanks guys/.

Ripped I played hockey myself through the ranks. Still currently playing now. If you wanna discuss this through pms we can. I was in college ncaa div 1 and never was tested once. The only chance you have getting tested is if you make it to the final four, in which case I have never heard of anyone being tested. This was in the states of course so im not sure if you are in canada if this procedure is the same. Hope this helps bro.

i don't know if how the tests are run for roids, but i get pissed every month for All kinds of shit. im on probation, and yes i smoke it up almost everynight before bedtime, i have passes all my u/a's. All i do is drink hell of alot of water, i mean alot, so much that your pissin fuckin springwater, get the point, it sucks but it has worked for me problem with that is you have to piss like every 5-10 min, seriously. Anyway just thought i would post this. good luck