New Christmass Diet

[RUI-Products]

My buddy sent me this.I thought you might enjoy it.

New diet.
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my
dog Lola - and was in line to check out. A woman
behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh! I was
feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I
was starting The Purina Diet again, although I
probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before
I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her
eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was
totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy,
inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load
your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package
said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going
to try it again. I have to mention here that
practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled
with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had
poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the
hospital? I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street
licking my butt when a car hit me. I thought the tall
guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

[kynetguy]

I dont care who you are, that is some funny ish. Oh god, I can hardly type right now.

Thanks for the laugh bro. Tell that to a fat person, they will try anything except excercise and putting down the twinkies.

There is only 2 ways to lose weight (other than cosmetic surgery)

1) Eat less calories than you burn.
2) Burn more calories than you eat.

I don't care if you eat cake and ice cream all day. As long as you burn more than you eat, you will lose weight. Fat people are fat because they are lazy. Except maybe a few cases from time to time of thyroid issues. But that is the exception.

[Apex]

10-4

[KeepingItBalanced]

haha, that is good stuff.

Funny note, when the subway diet cameout, I was going to make one called the twinkie diet. All you would eat was two twinkies per meal and drink water. the catch was you could only eat three times a day, and every meal you had to walk to the grocery store and buy the individual twinkies each time.....sounds like the next popular diet to me