1 year cycle - worst case scenario....I KNOW! But I feel sooooo good! :D

OK - so here's the deal: I have a master's degree, I work in a "suit and tie" kind of job and should have my brain seperated from my ass.
I do however have a tendency to be a bit fanatical. This helped my in building a rocket career in my profession (thus giving me a lot of $$$), but it also drives me to self-loathing which can only be cured by being a top level athlete.
So far I have been too hampered by injuries to reach my goals (major pec tear, torn groin muscle, inflamation in both legs etc.)

Now I'm struggling with pain in my knees due to trigger points and tenderness in both legs (quads). This has been going on for about six months now. This makes it hard for me to compete in strongman, as I can't really get any push-presses or jerking movements going.
I did deadlift about 685 lbs here the other day, and I did five reps in the military presses with 235 lbs. Not half-bad for someone who hasn't done a lot of seated presses before.

The thing is that when I do roids I get almost no results for the first four or five weeks. Then the effect comes like a motherf....
Right now I've added about 15 lbs of body mass while decreasing my body fat. I've been going on roids since the end of January now.

I'm supposed to end my cycle about now, but guess what - I don't really feel like it. Yeah, that's right - I just don't wanna! :)
I'm finally getting the results I DESERVE at the gym, but there is still so much more I need to improve in order to stop HATING myself. I need way more muscle mass (I'm only about 255 lbs at 6"2, I should be over 300lbs and lean), I need more grip strenght, and I need to do at least 320 lbs in the log press. The most important thing in my life - by far - is to DOMINATE the strength scene in my country. I refuse to be that little turd that finished nr. 15 in the nationals, especially when people who in no way can match my strength beat me due to better technique as I can't train proper technique training due to injuries.

Another thing is girls. I'm gettnig laid like a rock star now :P, and I know what will happen when i stop the juice. After breaking up with my ex two months ago, I've nailed six girls. One is a hot, busty 18 year old blonde and tonight I have a "movie and cuddle date" with an ex-model (underwear and nude photos). I also have a handful of other chicks lined up.....and my ex has been training and dieting every day since our break-up and wants us to meet so she can "screw me like no other girl has ever done" in order to win me back. I don't want to be impotent, especially not now!! :D

I would really like to go on the juice until next spring. I know it's not really healthy, but my blood levels are cool, my nuts are nice and big (somewhat smaller than a golf ball - about the size of plums, I would assume) and I feel awesome.

The be honest, I'd rather die at age 50 (I'm 30 now) and be a king for the next 10 years, than to be a ****ing loser who can never make it into the top 10 at the nationals. Screwing girls left and right and having a great job just isn't enough for me. I want to be a monster - no matter what the cost!

It would be nice to be able to have kids some day though....but not if their father is a ****ing loser who can't even bench press 500lbs raw and do at least 750lbs in the squat and deadlift.

I guess what I want to know is this:
For how long can I cycle responsibly? Four months, six, twelve?
What are the odds of shit hitting the fan? I guess being permanently sterile and impotent is the biggest risk, but how likely is that to happen if my balls are nice and big on cycle?

What about taking very short breaks, like 16 weeks on - two months off (it usually only takes me about four weeks of PCT to regain my natural production of testosterone).

What I've been doing so far is:

600 mg of test a week (prop)
150 mg of masterone a week
150 mg of tren a week


Yeah, I know you are going to turn on your caps locks and tell me what an idiot I am, but you know what....I just don't give a damn about anything anymore - only about being a huge ****ing monster. But if the risks outweigh the benefits by a large margin, I might think different. I'm just so fed up about not being the elite athlete I deserve to be. I work out six days a week, for hours at a time! :(
And I know that I will be reduced to an even smaller and puny shit as soon as I stop juicing.

....I just needed to get that out, I guess. It would be nice if I didn't get banned for being a moron, though. :)

If you want to be on steroids all year round at least blast and cruise. I don't have the knowledge to tell you what you should and shouldn't be doing but you are certainly not the only person who would prefer being on steroids all year round as opposed to cycling. I'm sure someone will come along and tell what you what a suitable blast and cruise protocol is

Quote:

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Originally Posted by The_locomotive

It would be nice to be able to have kids some day though....but not if their father is a ****ing loser who can't even bench press 500lbs raw and do at least 750lbs in the squat and deadlift.

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You think being able to lift heavy makes you a winner? Yeah it inflates your ego and gives you confidence but it doesn't define you as a person. Most if not all of the people I look up to in life don't lift. Even if they did my opinion of them wouldn't be any different.

Your comment about dying being 50 is fine but I'm sure at some stage you will regret it. Imagine if you do end up having some kids and you never get to see them grow up. Not only that they'll be living the rest of their life without their dad.

^^Totally agree with the above. Read Ronnie Rowlands thread on his slingshot method. You can achieve your goals and still do it somewhat intelligently. Your goal should be to be the monster you desire for a long time, not just a short period, and to be healthy as well. Question: Are you using an AI and HCG during your cycle?

Blast n cruise. And be ready for potential TRT

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Super-Chump

If you want to be on steroids all year round at least blast and cruise. I don't have the knowledge to tell you what you should and shouldn't be doing but you are certainly not the only person who would prefer being on steroids all year round as opposed to cycling. I'm sure someone will come along and tell what you what a suitable blast and cruise protocol is

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Thanks for the feedback. :)
I read somewhere that crusing with hormones that doesn't shut you completely down combined with hcg is a good option. Has anyone here tried it?

Quote:

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You think being able to lift heavy makes you a winner? Yeah it inflates your ego and gives you confidence but it doesn't define you as a person. Most if not all of the people I look up to in life don't lift. Even if they did my opinion of them wouldn't be any different.

Your comment about dying being 50 is fine but I'm sure at some stage you will regret it. Imagine if you do end up having some kids and you never get to see them grow up. Not only that they'll be living the rest of their life without their dad.

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Now you sound just like my ex-GF. :)
The thing is that I can not accept trying something and failing. Failure is never an option. I have already reached elite as a powerlifter, but not elite strongman. I can't give up, as that would make me a loser. Failing is equal, and not an option.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kelkel

^^Totally agree with the above. Read Ronnie Rowlands thread on his slingshot method. You can achieve your goals and still do it somewhat intelligently. Your goal should be to be the monster you desire for a long time, not just a short period, and to be healthy as well. Question: Are you using an AI and HCG during your cycle?

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Thansk! I'll look into that.
I have bought HCG and I have arimidex, nolva and clomid. I haven't used HCG so far (my balls are nice and big and my original plan was to stop my cycle now after about 16 weeks). If I decide to go at it until spring, I will take some HCG while I'm at it (while cruising, would be the best, I assume). I also want to get my hands on some more HGH before tapering down (my dealer is out of HGH :( ).

Haha well your ex-gf sounds like she is a keeper

On a serious note your never give up mentality is fine but before you totally commit you should weigh up the pro's and con's of what you are about to do

Have you considered seeing a therapist for these self-loathing issues?

What are your stats. 150mg tren a a week? Wtf. Reading your post was painful. I agree you may need to talk to someone about those feelings. I wouldn't however start and stop. Blast and cruise. Be ready for TRT

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bonaparte

Have you considered seeing a therapist for these self-loathing issues?

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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The narcissist is a human pendulum hanging by the thread of the void that is his False Self. He swings between brutal and vicious abrasiveness – and mellifluous, saccharine sentimentality. It is all a simulacrum. A verisimilitude. A facsimile. Enough to fool the casual observer. Enough to extract the drug – other people's glances – the reflection that somehow sustains this house of cards. But the stronger and more rigid the defences – and nothing is more resilient than narcissism – the bigger and deeper the hurt the narcissist aims to compensate for. One's narcissism stands in direct relation to the seething abyss and the devouring vacuum that one harbours in one's True Self. Perhaps narcissists, as they are often accused, do choose narcissism. But it may be a rational choice of self-preservation and survival. The paradox is that being a self-loathing narcissist may be the only act of true self-love the narcissist ever commits.

Get blood work every 3 months.

And youll be fine.

But I think you need mental help though.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bonaparte

Have you considered seeing a therapist for these self-loathing issues?

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No, but I just got home from nailing a photo model (erotic nude), and that really helped a lot. There's nothing like watching a dirty magazine and then having the actual model riding you in her bedroom afterwards to boost your self esteem (no - I'm not kidding, this just happened :P).

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Capebuffalo

The narcissist is a human pendulum hanging by the thread of the void that is his False Self. He swings between brutal and vicious abrasiveness – and mellifluous, saccharine sentimentality. It is all a simulacrum. A verisimilitude. A facsimile. Enough to fool the casual observer. Enough to extract the drug – other people's glances – the reflection that somehow sustains this house of cards. But the stronger and more rigid the defences – and nothing is more resilient than narcissism – the bigger and deeper the hurt the narcissist aims to compensate for. One's narcissism stands in direct relation to the seething abyss and the devouring vacuum that one harbours in one's True Self. Perhaps narcissists, as they are often accused, do choose narcissism. But it may be a rational choice of self-preservation and survival. The paradox is that being a self-loathing narcissist may be the only act of true self-love the narcissist ever commits.

---

Yeah, what he said.

I do think I'm a self-loathing narcisisst, though. I really do.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Capebuffalo

What are your stats. 150mg tren a a week? Wtf. Reading your post was painful. I agree you may need to talk to someone about those feelings. I wouldn't however start and stop. Blast and cruise. Be ready for TRT

---

Age: 30
Height: 6"2
Weight: 255lbs
BF: Dunno, about 12%...ish

Yeah I take 600mg of testo a week and have access to a cut mix that contains a mix of testo prop, tren and masterone. So the testo adds up to 600mg and instead of doing 300mg of either tren or masterone it's 300mg combined. I don't see any particular problem with that, as long as I make sure that the majority of my juice is good 'ol testo.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dukkitdalaw

Get blood work every 3 months.

And youll be fine.

But I think you need mental help though.

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Thanks man.
So as long as I make sure my cholesterole levels are fine and my kidneys and liver isn't taking too much abuse I can juice for a year without fear of being permanently sterile (for example)?

I will consider getting some mental help, thanks.

If you make sure to run HCG throughout the year for a few months here and there... your nuts and sperm should be fine.

I know plenty of guys who've been on trt for years and still have kids.

So one year of blasting and cruising wont be the end.

Keep track of your blood pressure as well as the above things you mentioned. Especially during your blasts.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bonaparte

Have you considered seeing a therapist for these self-loathing issues?

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This is exactly what is wrong with people these days.

Why does he need a therapist? Because he's full of himself?

Your a ****ing man so act like one, you don't need a therapist because you're a narcissist.

Your reply is exactly what a woman would say, maybe you should go test your estro levels.

Sorry don't really mean to flame but the definition of a "man" has been being disgraced over the past couple of years.


As for the OP, do the blast and cruise, make sure you get all your stuff do you don't need to worry about it later. Definitely do blood tests often just to make sure. If you're smart you will achieve your dream and be able to have kids and everything.

Keep doing what you do, keep your cocky attitude, it will make you a winner. Keel being a narcissist, you will achieve your goals because your just don't give a ****. Keep ****ing all the hot woman in sight.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Thor249

This is exactly what is wrong with people these days.

Why does he need a therapist? Because he's full of himself?

Your a ****ing man so act like one, you don't need a therapist because you're a narcissist.

Your reply is exactly what a woman would say, maybe you should go test your estro levels.

Sorry don't really mean to flame but the definition of a "man" has been being disgraced over the past couple of years.


As for the OP, do the blast and cruise, make sure you get all your stuff do you don't need to worry about it later. Definitely do blood tests often just to make sure. If you're smart you will achieve your dream and be able to have kids and everything.

Keep doing what you do, keep your cocky attitude, it will make you a winner. Keel being a narcissist, you will achieve your goals because your just don't give a ****. Keep ****ing all the hot woman in sight.

---

Go back to your cave.

Did you even read the OP? Narcissism and self-loathing have nothing to do with being a "man". They're psychiatric issues which could ruin the OP's life. There is nothing manly about thinking you're amazing and better than everyone, and still having a poor self-image and low self-esteem.
BTW, he's probably a troll (or at least exaggerating), so you're going to look like an even bigger dumbass for praising his behavior.

Now now kids lets not give lectures on psychological disorders without being trained professionals... I really have no idea to be honest but I would make sure to read, read, read, and read some more... If it is what you want then you will probably be inclined to listen what you want to hear but as an educated man you should know that educating yourself on the matter is the best possible route... I certainly am not saying its a bad idea... Reading this makes me want to consider it myself... But I will read a lot more before I put any serious thought into it... I think if you feel better on cycle then there is nothing wrong with doing it to avoid self loathing... Its not alcohol, cocaine, heroin, or any other substance that will all out destroy your life... Just make sure to do it right and be as safe as possible!

Haha Perhaps I just became a Bonapartist... Thor Thor Thor... This is a discussion forum for AAS not a venue for chauvinism... There are also woman on this forum... Probably some of them with self loathing issues even... What would be your suggestion for them?

I'm going to be honest. I'm not as old as you, and probably not as successful as you. I am educated however and you appear to be pretty clueless about how life works. It seems like you need to fix your self esteem, not your body. You seem to appreciate/respect yourself only if you're strong and good looking which isn't something expected of someone who is mentally sound. Good luck to you.

edit -

I apologize, I didn't realize this topic was already hammered. I read the original post and felt compelled to give a quick response.

Your an addict and your out of control brother......I completely understand how you feel, but your brain needs a break, "when the walls come tumbling down" Good luck.

Bro you need help.

You're a moron.

[QUOTE=The_locomotive;6020551]No, but I just got home from nailing a photo model (erotic nude), and that really helped a lot. There's nothing like watching a dirty magazine and then having the actual model riding you in her bedroom afterwards to boost your self esteem (no - I'm not kidding, this just happened :P).[/QUOTE

:Ottiwwop:

And no pics of you. Just the broad.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dukkitdalaw

If you make sure to run HCG throughout the year for a few months here and there... your nuts and sperm should be fine.

I know plenty of guys who've been on trt for years and still have kids.

So one year of blasting and cruising wont be the end.

---

Excellent! :)

My nuts are still nice and big, about the size of plums, and I have hcg ready.
Do you have any advice as to how often I should run HCG? Once every three months or so?

1 to 4% of the population are psychopaths, (narcissism) is a sub aspect of the condition. On the upside they are usually high achievers and on the downside they are a pain in the ass.

You can't cure them, just have to endure them. ;-)

[QUOTE=stpete;6020719]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by The_locomotive

No, but I just got home from nailing a photo model (erotic nude), and that really helped a lot. There's nothing like watching a dirty magazine and then having the actual model riding you in her bedroom afterwards to boost your self esteem (no - I'm not kidding, this just happened :P).[/QUOTE

:Ottiwwop:

And no pics of you. Just the broad.

---

LOL! :)

Here's a picture of her that they used for Duo shop (a norwegian dirty store :P ):
Attachment 123367

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dukkitdalaw

Keep track of your blood pressure as well as the above things you mentioned. Especially during your blasts.

---

I bought myself a blood pressure cuff, so I test it every now and then.

....right now it's 143/76. Not half-bad, but it should preferably have been 135/75.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bonaparte

Go back to your cave.

Did you even read the OP? Narcissism and self-loathing have nothing to do with being a "man". They're psychiatric issues which could ruin the OP's life. There is nothing manly about thinking you're amazing and better than everyone, and still having a poor self-image and low self-esteem.
BTW, he's probably a troll (or at least exaggerating), so you're going to look like an even bigger dumbass for praising his behavior.

---

I am exaggerating as it makes my posts more interesting. ;)
And I need to blow off steam from time to time. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ROXXXTAR

Now now kids lets not give lectures on psychological disorders without being trained professionals... I really have no idea to be honest but I would make sure to read, read, read, and read some more... If it is what you want then you will probably be inclined to listen what you want to hear but as an educated man you should know that educating yourself on the matter is the best possible route... I certainly am not saying its a bad idea... Reading this makes me want to consider it myself... But I will read a lot more before I put any serious thought into it... I think if you feel better on cycle then there is nothing wrong with doing it to avoid self loathing... Its not alcohol, cocaine, heroin, or any other substance that will all out destroy your life... Just make sure to do it right and be as safe as possible!

---

Now it sounds a lot worse than it is - I just hate being "less than elite" and can't stand watching other people lift shit I feel I should have been doing myself.
I'm not cutting myself with a razor or any BS like that, bro. :D

I'm just one of those "win at all f-ing costs" kind of guys, I guess. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by guitario

1 to 4% of the population are psychopaths, (narcissism) is a sub aspect of the condition. On the upside they are usually high achievers and on the downside they are a pain in the ass.

You can't cure them, just have to endure them. ;-)

---

Ha ha...yeah, I suck! :)
But I do have a lot of friends, and get a lot of chicks, so I guess I must be hiding my obnoxiousness rather well. Fist bump? :P

Quote:

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Originally Posted by The_locomotive

No, but I just got home from nailing a photo model (erotic nude), and that really helped a lot. There's nothing like watching a dirty magazine and then having the actual model riding you in her bedroom afterwards to boost your self esteem (no - I'm not kidding, this just happened :P).

---

You seriously need a psychiatrist if you think that is treatment for emotional problems. Sorry, but I got to tell you like it is. Everyone has feelings like that, but when you don't deal with them, and do reckless things because of it, you need help.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by The_locomotive

No, but I just got home from nailing a photo model (erotic nude), and that really helped a lot. There's nothing like watching a dirty magazine and then having the actual model riding you in her bedroom afterwards to boost your self esteem (no - I'm not kidding, this just happened :P).

---

Lol not that this dosnt sound apealing but not really all that great for the self esteem actually if you think about it. shes an adult actress hence she will sleep with anyone and everyone for a living including a handicapped dwarf probably so her standards im sure are very low lol. no offense to you by anymeans but nailing someone who dosnt put out for a living probably would boost the self esteem a bit more. she is hot though so props. the blast and cruise may not be horrible for you in your dead set on going this routte but a good therapist you can talk you for a bit about the underlieing issues could seriously help you calm down a bit man.

[QUOTE=The_locomotive;6020730]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stpete

LOL! :)

Here's a picture of her that they used for Duo shop (a norwegian dirty store :P ):
Attachment 123367

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she is not elite nor would i be bragging about nailing her

Yeah to be honest she isn't really anything special, but kudos nonetheless.

Hitler had a lot of friends and hot women too, not making comparisons just pointing out that any type A guy who makes a decent living will have a bunch of hanger ons. I am with Bonaparte on both points you really should seek councelling and I think its likely you are exaggerating to attrack attention (trolling), As far as all your dedication and commitment what works in business does not work with physiology.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bonaparte

Go back to your cave.


BTW, he's probably a troll (or at least exaggerating), so you're going to look like an even bigger dumbass for praising his behavior.

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he does not need to get help becuase he is very smart and he fooled most of the people here (some were smart enough to see through his BS)

Please post your own picture or videos squatting / pressing or anything for that matter....even one with your 255 lb frame would be sufficient....you can crop / edit any part just make sure u r holding today's paper.....

Liar Liar......Elite powerlifter...*hmmmph* yeah right