My first cycle and hopefully my only.. I need help doing it right.

[Enochturnal]

To start this off, I must say that this cycle is NOT for the purpose of wanting more. I'm doing this for the sole purpose to help get my body into it's proper state of normality. I grew up in the shit slums of CA for most of my childhood and fell into temptations that forever altered my body's fate. Think what you want, but I started smoking tree and cigarettes when I was 14, and that escalated to drinking constantly, taking LCD, shrooms, etc.. This was an off and on thing until I was about 17/18 yo. I truly believe that this ultimately led to stunting my growth. I have been working out vigorously on and off for the past 10 years and I cannot tell you how hard it is for me to gain any weight at all. Back in 2012, I had a great diet, a great workout plan, and also decent results, but things started to go downhill once I noticed that I got these "rare" headaches that cause me tremendous amounts of pain within a matter of a split second. One day, I got so tired of these headaches that I tried to push through it.. Worst idea I've ever made, but that's the nature of who I am. I started my workout with a set of 20 push-ups for warm up, and at about my 10th rep, my head started booming. I refused to give into the pain and kept going. 3 push-ups later and i was on the ground face first moaning and groaning with drool coming out of my mouth (not to mention how painful it was). My balance was off entirely and my brain/thought process was almost non-existent. This lasted for about 2 hours, tapering off over time. I think I had some sort of a stroke, but what in the actual fuck? How?! Why..? I've seen multiple doctors about this and they NEVER take it as serious as I feel it is. Not once has my brain been scanned. Anyway, besides all that bullshit, I'm sick and tired of being, what feels like, a man stuck in a childs body. You can tell by just looking at me that my body didn't fully develop, and that it never will (I'm 28 years old). I'm now struggling with severe depression caused by multiple personal life matters and chemical imbalances.

Simply put, I'm not going to back out of this choice and will do anything and everything I can to make this cycle work. My main enemy in life is my empathy, therefore I've put others before myself too many times and I've dug myself into a hole that seems impossible to climb out of. It is also the only reason I'm still breathing, because I'm proud of the balls I possess to put other people's well being before my own. Talk about a love/hate situation.. I'm at the bottom of my own ditch I've created, and to be 100% honest, I'm at my wits end and will do anything I can now to get myself out, even if this means I could potentially bury myself in the process. You don't know the life I've lived and the life I'm living, so please leave ignorance at the door and reply respectively.

Now, this is where I ask for help to do this shit right. I'm 6"2, 155 lbs (very skinny bone structure), and 28 years of age. I do physical labor in the sun for my income, so I sweat A LOT! I doubt this is healthy for steroid use if I'm depleting water weight everyday, therefore I'll adjust my work accordingly. I'm not looking for a heavy cycle as this is clearly my first cycle. I have access to Test-U caps already, but will pin Test-E/Test-C if I can get my hands on em. I will be doing a test ONLY cycle regardless of what anyone says here. I'm not looking to stack whatsoever. Now, I also have access to liquid tamox for PCT and was told "ERASE PRO" is also a good add-on.

Don't ask if I eat properly because I'm all about that. My current weight has no correlation to my eating habits even though it may seem like the answer here. I cannot stress enough that I am NOT eating improperly or not enough.

Hopefully not everyone will reply with fire..

Thanks for your time.

[Back In Black]

So you want to gain weight, is that the gist of it?

What chemical imbalances do you have?

Have you ever had a hormone blood test?

[Enochturnal]

So you want to gain weight, is that the gist of it?

What chemical imbalances do you have?

Have you ever had a hormone blood test?

Yes and no. If my research is correct, test should not only increase the mass of muscle, but also the general mass and masculinity of my body. I could be wrong, but I feel as if this could greatly help with my depression, if not get rid of it entirely, which is priority above all. My sanity is in serious jeopardy with all this anxiety and depression. As long as something is going right, I have grounds to work on, which is why I need to make this work. It may be hard to understand, but I need this.

Yes, I've had a hormone blood test and my testosterone levels came back as "fairly normal" whatever the hell that means.. This was about a year ago so it's hard for me to remember the exact numbers, so I might as well go and get another one so I can inform all of you with the proper/necessary details.

[abhijit38]

i goning to start a bulking cycle this is my first cycle so i do not want to make it complicated some people suggest me run old school deca dbol test combination there is no dought in that . this is great combination for putting mass.. but i want to keep things simple .. in my first cycle
week 1-6 dbol 30 mg day
week 1-12 test e 500 mg week
week 11-14 hcg 1000iu per week
week 15-18 clomid 50/50/25/25 with nolva 40/20/20/10.
i use aromasin 12.5 or .5 eod from week 2 - 12
have liver kidney and fish oil for protection
questions
1 i do not like pining can i do 500 mg at once per week . of test e in this cycle ?
2 how much i expect from this cycle or it is better to i stack 400 mg deca in it ...?
3 should i have to have run hcg on this or clomid and nolva make jobs done?