AAS MAKES 99% CHANCE OF STERILITY, 100% bullshit.

**Couchlockd** · 06-03-2018, 08:09 PM

So I'm into about 16 weeks of about 750 mg of test a week on top of close to 800 mg of drostanolone a week with a quarter mg adex everyday and HCG 500 IU's weekly

My fiance girlfriend is pregnant late by about 2 weeks I took 4 pregnancy tests collect the urine myself and administered testing

All four tests pretty much showed positive within the first 45 seconds

A little bit of background on me I'm notorious since I've been in my 18 unprotected sex always let one loose inside never except for one other time about 10 years ago did I get someone pregnant 10 years ago it was with a girl I was living with for about eight years and we had sex multiple times daily never work careful one day got her pregnant it ended up being a miscarriage

Been with this one for about 3 years she was on birth control the first year but got it removed because it was fucking up her blood sugar extremely bad I figured I'm sterile because of my low testosterone and extended cycling past the recommended 12 weeks my first cycle was 16 and a half weeks over a year ago good PCT and started this cycle in February fucking front-loaded it out the gate 2000 mg of test with Bass and now 14 weeks into it I get her pregnant

The test base and Cialis made me extremely frisky and you know how that goes my question is this I know for a fact she ain't been with nobody else cuz we live together and the only time she could have the chance of me doing that is the 30 minutes I'm gone for work between the time the kid gets off the bus it's not my kid is from her previous man who's nonexistent so I pick up the responsibility of taking care of this wonderful child Chloe that I always will love and never will let go it would never abandon

Now we're reading all this sterility stuff regarding steroid usage it leaves a question in my mind even though I know a hundred percent it's mine but there's that 1% chance maybe she did fuck the mailman not likely but if there's a sexy no woman delivering mail and she seemed easy I'd probably fuck her so it works the same way with the female see a sexy guy and fuck him although she said she loves me and would never do that Etc

I'd hate to be a dick and request a DNA test and it turns out to be mine and basically accuse her of cheating kicking her when she's down but should I

**Obs** · 06-03-2018, 08:25 PM

Originally Posted by m.hornbuckle

So I'm into about 16 weeks of about 750 mg of test a week on top of close to 800 mg of drostanolone a week with a quarter mg adex everyday and HCG 500 IU's weekly

My fiance girlfriend is pregnant late by about 2 weeks I took 4 pregnancy tests collect the urine myself and administered testing

All four tests pretty much showed positive within the first 45 seconds

A little bit of background on me I'm notorious since I've been in my 18 unprotected sex always let one loose inside never except for one other time about 10 years ago did I get someone pregnant 10 years ago it was with a girl I was living with for about eight years and we had sex multiple times daily never work careful one day got her pregnant it ended up being a miscarriage

Been with this one for about 3 years she was on birth control the first year but got it removed because it was fucking up her blood sugar extremely bad I figured I'm sterile because of my low testosterone and extended cycling past the recommended 12 weeks my first cycle was 16 and a half weeks over a year ago good PCT and started this cycle in February fucking front-loaded it out the gate 2000 mg of test with Bass and now 14 weeks into it I get her pregnant

The test base and Cialis made me extremely frisky and you know how that goes my question is this I know for a fact she ain't been with nobody else cuz we live together and the only time she could have the chance of me doing that is the 30 minutes I'm gone for work between the time the kid gets off the bus it's not my kid is from her previous man who's nonexistent so I pick up the responsibility of taking care of this wonderful child Chloe that I always will love and never will let go it would never abandon

Now we're reading all this sterility stuff regarding steroid usage it leaves a question in my mind even though I know a hundred percent it's mine but there's that 1% chance maybe she did fuck the mailman not likely but if there's a sexy no woman delivering mail and she seemed easy I'd probably fuck her so it works the same way with the female see a sexy guy and fuck him although she said she loves me and would never do that Etc

I'd hate to be a dick and request a DNA test and it turns out to be mine and basically accuse her of cheating kicking her when she's down but should I

They sell them at Walmart be sneaky....

Imo, never bring it up I have been here. I added strain on the relationship and now my son is older and he is my twin physically and mentally. There is no denying it but I caused a lot of drama for no reason.

If you don't trust her then don't let it go any further. If there is doubt it will fall apart. I didnt trust my ex wife, (rightly so, she wasn't worthy of trust) but looking back I see 20/20. I should have dropped her ass like a piece of molten metal. Instead I hung on, pushed forward, and compounded shit x5.

The right one worships you and you feel the same way. Everyone fights but there is a connection, (not love) that has to be there.

You know what you will need to do and only you know best, but don't distrust. Distrust is poison and will amplify and amplify as time goes on.

**charger69** · 06-03-2018, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by Obs

They sell them at Walmart be sneaky....

Imo, never bring it up I have been here. I added strain on the relationship and now my son is older and he is my twin physically and mentally. There is no denying it but I caused a lot of drama for no reason.

If you don't trust her then don't let it go any further. If there is doubt it will fall apart. I didnt trust my ex wife, (rightly so, she wasn't worthy of trust) but looking back I see 20/20. I should have dropped her ass like a piece of molten metal. Instead I hung on, pushed forward, and compounded shit x5.

The right one worships you and you feel the same way. Everyone fights but there is a connection, (not love) that has to be there.

You know what you will need to do and only you know best, but don't distrust. Distrust is poison and will amplify and amplify as time goes on.

Oh no..... a twin Obs?? LOL
Love ya brother!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

**Obs** · 06-03-2018, 08:42 PM

Originally Posted by charger69

Oh no..... a twin Obs?? LOL
Love ya brother!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Lol back at ya!
I mean he is like I used to be. The world ain't jaded him yet.

**Couchlockd** · 06-03-2018, 08:54 PM

you know ob, the thing is she does worship me. that's 99% of our fights, me not being "there" as much as she wants me to be.

"your sexy, you don't need to workout all the time, I love you" you know it, I'm sure you gear the same.

its hard to not obsess with working out, especially a ex 255 lb fat ass. who struggles with dysmorphia 24/7.

I don't see me any other way but fat and nitvof my liking. only time I see the goid side of me is in the mirror in my basement. were the weights are. every other mirror I see donuts.

the connection is there, its just I can admit I get very selfish, very very selfish with this life style.

at times I see this "I work, I provide, I do everything then some, fix her family's stuff, help mom in,law with new car cuzz hers shit out (by help I mean 'heres 4k, I don't need paid back, happy in law day)

so I fell I deserve uniteruoted 2 hours daily to this shit .

I guess I gotta manage time more.

the only thing that freaks me out is the possibility of me looking more and more gym time.

I know that's a childish. I can admit that

**dcycles** · 06-03-2018, 09:17 PM

Originally Posted by Obs

They sell them at Walmart be sneaky....

Imo, never bring it up I have been here. I added strain on the relationship and now my son is older and he is my twin physically and mentally. There is no denying it but I caused a lot of drama for no reason.

If you don't trust her then don't let it go any further. If there is doubt it will fall apart. I didnt trust my ex wife, (rightly so, she wasn't worthy of trust) but looking back I see 20/20. I should have dropped her ass like a piece of molten metal. Instead I hung on, pushed forward, and compounded shit x5.

The right one worships you and you feel the same way. Everyone fights but there is a connection, (not love) that has to be there.

You know what you will need to do and only you know best, but don't distrust. Distrust is poison and will amplify and amplify as time goes on.

I feel like you are my older self sometimes.. literally every post I read of yours no matter how "dark" it seems hits home with me.. but definitely agree with you on this one.

**charger69** · 06-03-2018, 09:49 PM

Originally Posted by m.hornbuckle

you know ob, the thing is she does worship me. that's 99% of our fights, me not being "there" as much as she wants me to be.

"your sexy, you don't need to workout all the time, I love you" you know it, I'm sure you gear the same.

its hard to not obsess with working out, especially a ex 255 lb fat ass. who struggles with dysmorphia 24/7.

I don't see me any other way but fat and nitvof my liking. only time I see the goid side of me is in the mirror in my basement. were the weights are. every other mirror I see donuts.

the connection is there, its just I can admit I get very selfish, very very selfish with this life style.

at times I see this "I work, I provide, I do everything then some, fix her family's stuff, help mom in,law with new car cuzz hers shit out (by help I mean 'heres 4k, I don't need paid back, happy in law day)

so I fell I deserve uniteruoted 2 hours daily to this shit .

I guess I gotta manage time more.

the only thing that freaks me out is the possibility of me looking more and more gym time.

I know that's a childish. I can admit that

Oh no. Take care of your girl! You need to find a common ground and work hard. I have been married 27 years. I started competing 5 years ago and she wants me to stop because everything is diet and working out. I need to manage my time to take care of her. Watch out when on tren . I have managed tren outside of the family, but inside I feel more secure and sometimes let the tren talk.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

**Obs** · 06-03-2018, 10:24 PM

Originally Posted by m.hornbuckle

you know ob, the thing is she does worship me. that's 99% of our fights, me not being "there" as much as she wants me to be.

"your sexy, you don't need to workout all the time, I love you" you know it, I'm sure you gear the same.

its hard to not obsess with working out, especially a ex 255 lb fat ass. who struggles with dysmorphia 24/7.

I don't see me any other way but fat and nitvof my liking. only time I see the goid side of me is in the mirror in my basement. were the weights are. every other mirror I see donuts.

the connection is there, its just I can admit I get very selfish, very very selfish with this life style.

at times I see this "I work, I provide, I do everything then some, fix her family's stuff, help mom in,law with new car cuzz hers shit out (by help I mean 'heres 4k, I don't need paid back, happy in law day)

so I fell I deserve uniteruoted 2 hours daily to this shit .

I guess I gotta manage time more.

the only thing that freaks me out is the possibility of me looking more and more gym time.

I know that's a childish. I can admit that

Arguments will happen in any relationship but they have to be the one person you trust more than your own self. I argue with mine once in a while. I told you about the worst argument we had and I caused it because I gave no chance for it to be anything but an argument. I smashed a table at my house and made things escalate because of my insecurity.

I was insecure as could be with my wife and she showed me she was everything I thought she was. With this girl though she left me no reason for any doubt, ever. She is more trustworthy than me. By that I mean I trust her more than myself. I missed a lot of things in my life because of distrust. The only thing I know for certain is you can't be half in and half out. It has got to be there all the time. Doubt eats at you like acid until the burn makes you fly off the handle all at once.

It works both ways. One gets insecure and the other feels the pain, then both are in a world of hurt. I slip up like a while back but its rare now. I decided a long time ago no one cheated and no one is cheating until I catch them red handed. I try to never ever show insecurity because of the strife it causes. She loves me like no one has ever that has come into contact with me and she thinks I am a stone to pull herself upon when she needs refuge from the world. Therefore that is my job.

I don't have it all figured out and one can fail as easy as the next. If I hadn't failed miserably in the past I would be the same guy I was with this one.

My obsession with lifting has become front runner and it only gets worse the more I grow. I don't know a damn thing about balance. I stray away with my own interest more every day. When you figure out how to balance it please tell me because I don't want to fuck this one up.

Its not the gym time for me. Its every meal, every thought... "No I cant eat this, this isn't enough food, I cant eat at subway."
"No I can't go out and have drinks with your friends it sets me back."
"I dont care where we go but I can't go with you unless I can eat in the next 30 min"
"Goddamn I am dehydrated and I need someone that can actually do their job!"

Meanwhile her innocent little butt would do anything to help me any way she could. She feels guilty going out with friends and akward because everyone elses boyfriend is there. Hell I cant even talk to them anyway because they all talk about normal meaningless shit.

I buy the fuck out of flowers and at least once a day tell her how much I love her and why. She is on an HIT love program. I focus everything once a day thirty minutes or an hour and give it everything I got and go back to my own world. I gotta fix that.

Just dont distrust and continue is my only advice. My gf is a bartender so I can understand how hard it is. Good luck man. Sorry for the uber long post. If this one fails I will live in the gym and never get in another serious relationship until my conquering days are over.

**Obs** · 06-03-2018, 10:26 PM

Originally Posted by dcycles

I feel like you are my older self sometimes.. literally every post I read of yours no matter how "dark" it seems hits home with me.. but definitely agree with you on this one.

Thank you sir but I have only failed at "forever" thus far. Relationships are not my specialty. All I know is how I screwed up.

**Couchlockd** · 06-03-2018, 10:36 PM

Originally Posted by Obs

Arguments will happen in any relationship but they have to be the one person you trust more than your own self. I argue with mine once in a while. I told you about the worst argument we had and I caused it because I gave no chance for it to be anything but an argument. I smashed a table at my house and made things escalate because of my insecurity.

I was insecure as could be with my wife and she showed me she was everything I thought she was. With this girl though she left me no reason for any doubt, ever. She is more trustworthy than me. By that I mean I trust her more than myself. I missed a lot of things in my life because of distrust. The only thing I know for certain is you can't be half in and half out. It has got to be there all the time. Doubt eats at you like acid until the burn makes you fly off the handle all at once.

It works both ways. One gets insecure and the other feels the pain, then both are in a world of hurt. I slip up like a while back but its rare now. I decided a long time ago no one cheated and no one is cheating until I catch them red handed. I try to never ever show insecurity because of the strife it causes. She loves me like no one has ever that has come into contact with me and she thinks I am a stone to pull herself upon when she needs refuge from the world. Therefore that is my job.

I don't have it all figured out and one can fail as easy as the next. If I hadn't failed miserably in the past I would be the same guy I was with this one.

My obsession with lifting has become front runner and it only gets worse the more I grow. I don't know a damn thing about balance. I stray away with my own interest more every day. When you figure out how to balance it please tell me because I don't want to fuck this one up.

Its not the gym time for me. Its every meal, every thought... "No I cant eat this, this isn't enough food, I cant eat at subway."
"No I can't go out and have drinks with your friends it sets me back."
"I dont care where we go but I can't go with you unless I can eat in the next 30 min"
"Goddamn I am dehydrated and I need someone that can actually do their job!"

Meanwhile her innocent little butt would do anything to help me any way she could. She feels guilty going out with friends and akward because everyone elses boyfriend is there. Hell I cant even talk to them anyway because they all talk about normal meaningless shit.

I buy the fuck out of flowers and at least once a day tell her how much I love her and why. She is on an HIT love program. I focus everything once a day thirty minutes or an hour and give it everything I got and go back to my own world. I gotta fix that.

Just dont distrust and continue is my only advice. My gf is a bartender so I can understand how hard it is. Good luck man. Sorry for the uber long post. If this one fails I will live in the gym and never get in another serious relationship until my conquering days are over.

thanks man. its nice to have someone with similar things to talk to. your posts are always welcome. and the longer the better.

thanks brother.

**Obs** · 06-03-2018, 10:40 PM

Originally Posted by m.hornbuckle

thanks man. its nice to have someone with similar things to talk to. your posts are always welcome. and the longer the better.

thanks brother.

Thank you for being there when I need someone to talk to. Its impossible to get a clear head when you stay in your head. Our talks have helped me a million times. Hope all this works out and you have a little hornbuckle to raise. Your old man will be proud!

**Mr.BB** · 06-04-2018, 02:23 AM

Originally Posted by m.hornbuckle

So I'm into about 16 weeks of about 750 mg of test a week on top of close to 800 mg of drostanolone a week with a quarter mg adex everyday and HCG 500 IU's weekly

My fiance girlfriend is pregnant late by about 2 weeks I took 4 pregnancy tests collect the urine myself and administered testing

All four tests pretty much showed positive within the first 45 seconds

A little bit of background on me I'm notorious since I've been in my 18 unprotected sex always let one loose inside never except for one other time about 10 years ago did I get someone pregnant 10 years ago it was with a girl I was living with for about eight years and we had sex multiple times daily never work careful one day got her pregnant it ended up being a miscarriage

Been with this one for about 3 years she was on birth control the first year but got it removed because it was fucking up her blood sugar extremely bad I figured I'm sterile because of my low testosterone and extended cycling past the recommended 12 weeks my first cycle was 16 and a half weeks over a year ago good PCT and started this cycle in February fucking front-loaded it out the gate 2000 mg of test with Bass and now 14 weeks into it I get her pregnant

The test base and Cialis made me extremely frisky and you know how that goes my question is this I know for a fact she ain't been with nobody else cuz we live together and the only time she could have the chance of me doing that is the 30 minutes I'm gone for work between the time the kid gets off the bus it's not my kid is from her previous man who's nonexistent so I pick up the responsibility of taking care of this wonderful child Chloe that I always will love and never will let go it would never abandon

Now we're reading all this sterility stuff regarding steroid usage it leaves a question in my mind even though I know a hundred percent it's mine but there's that 1% chance maybe she did fuck the mailman not likely but if there's a sexy no woman delivering mail and she seemed easy I'd probably fuck her so it works the same way with the female see a sexy guy and fuck him although she said she loves me and would never do that Etc

I'd hate to be a dick and request a DNA test and it turns out to be mine and basically accuse her of cheating kicking her when she's down but should I

It only takes 1 swimmer, and as you know hcg will give you much more than that.

Don't know where is the surprise.

Congrats!

**hammerheart** · 06-04-2018, 02:52 AM

Originally Posted by m.hornbuckle

AAS MAKES 99% CHANCE OF STERILITY, 100% bullshit.

Ofc. Don't most of us wish so lol.

**cousinmuscles** · 06-04-2018, 05:01 AM

Pretty much all studies say AAS aren't good contraceptives, with HCG that's a no brainer lol. Happy Father's day in advance!

**Chrisp83TRT** · 06-04-2018, 06:28 AM

Originally Posted by Obs

Arguments will happen in any relationship but they have to be the one person you trust more than your own self. I argue with mine once in a while. I told you about the worst argument we had and I caused it because I gave no chance for it to be anything but an argument. I smashed a table at my house and made things escalate because of my insecurity.

I was insecure as could be with my wife and she showed me she was everything I thought she was. With this girl though she left me no reason for any doubt, ever. She is more trustworthy than me. By that I mean I trust her more than myself. I missed a lot of things in my life because of distrust. The only thing I know for certain is you can't be half in and half out. It has got to be there all the time. Doubt eats at you like acid until the burn makes you fly off the handle all at once.

It works both ways. One gets insecure and the other feels the pain, then both are in a world of hurt. I slip up like a while back but its rare now. I decided a long time ago no one cheated and no one is cheating until I catch them red handed. I try to never ever show insecurity because of the strife it causes. She loves me like no one has ever that has come into contact with me and she thinks I am a stone to pull herself upon when she needs refuge from the world. Therefore that is my job.

I don't have it all figured out and one can fail as easy as the next. If I hadn't failed miserably in the past I would be the same guy I was with this one.

My obsession with lifting has become front runner and it only gets worse the more I grow. I don't know a damn thing about balance. I stray away with my own interest more every day. When you figure out how to balance it please tell me because I don't want to fuck this one up.

Its not the gym time for me. Its every meal, every thought... "No I cant eat this, this isn't enough food, I cant eat at subway."
"No I can't go out and have drinks with your friends it sets me back."
"I dont care where we go but I can't go with you unless I can eat in the next 30 min"
"Goddamn I am dehydrated and I need someone that can actually do their job!"

Meanwhile her innocent little butt would do anything to help me any way she could. She feels guilty going out with friends and akward because everyone elses boyfriend is there. Hell I cant even talk to them anyway because they all talk about normal meaningless shit.

I buy the fuck out of flowers and at least once a day tell her how much I love her and why. She is on an HIT love program. I focus everything once a day thirty minutes or an hour and give it everything I got and go back to my own world. I gotta fix that.

Just dont distrust and continue is my only advice. My gf is a bartender so I can understand how hard it is. Good luck man. Sorry for the uber long post. If this one fails I will live in the gym and never get in another serious relationship until my conquering days are over.

I don’t have kids and haven’t been married, but that was deep and in ways I can relate.
I know my gf of almost 5 years is supportive but I can tell she is getting sad due to how training , eating clean etc... like you have said before this is a life commitment. Pro and con to everything .

**Chrisp83TRT** · 06-04-2018, 06:39 AM

Just wanted to say I Love this community, all you guys on here are badass and provide good talks about emotions, amazing advice on gear and not to mention you guys are funny fuckers, which we all need to laugh in this crazy curript society.
Thanks all

**Obs** · 06-04-2018, 06:50 AM

Originally Posted by Chrisp83TRT

I don’t have kids and haven’t been married, but that was deep and in ways I can relate.
I know my gf of almost 5 years is supportive but I can tell she is getting sad due to how training , eating clean etc... like you have said before this is a life commitment. Pro and con to everything .

Originally Posted by Chrisp83TRT

Just wanted to say I Love this community, all you guys on here are badass and provide good talks about emotions, amazing advice on gear and not to mention you guys are funny fuckers, which we all need to laugh in this crazy curript society.
Thanks all

Well thanks and glad to have you around as well!

**Mooseman33** · 06-04-2018, 07:11 AM

I am legend.

All u need is one brotha. Its urs, enjoy it and stop fighting it.
This is great news man, I am super happy for you.

Make time for her, the hormones are going to be off the charts. We have to be the ones to find the time for them, we choose to live this stupid lifestyle so there is a balance.
The whole worship thing is kind of weird to me, I hate getting compliments so when my wife gets all nice and I guess worships me it freaks me out.
Tren is tough on marriage, should come with warning label.

I taught my son to ride his bike this weekend, then bought a huge trampoline for the back yard.The best part of life is 9 months away buddy. CONGRATULATIONS.

**< <Samson> >** · 06-04-2018, 07:17 AM

Congratulations

Well,

I'm the same way, I never use n e form of birth control - me & the wife(the 2nd one) tried to pop out another kid when I was in year two of juicing - and nothing for a year straight, load after load - nothing

Now - she just had a full "mommy makeover" done. . . Same shit, no birth control

Me & her talked - she doesn't want to take birth contort & I am not cutting my nuts off

That reminds me - I need to get a nut count, been procrastinating for a bit now

But, I have plenty of friends who just peeled one off - sauced and all

**Obs** · 06-04-2018, 07:26 AM

Originally Posted by < <Samson> >

Congratulations

Well,

I'm the same way, I never use n e form of birth control - me & the wife(the 2nd one) tried to pop out another kid when I was in year two of juicing - and nothing for a year straight, load after load - nothing

Now - she just had a full "mommy makeover" done. . . Same shit, no birth control

Me & her talked - she doesn't want to take birth contort & I am not cutting my nuts off

That reminds me - I need to get a nut count, been procrastinating for a bit now

But, I have plenty of friends who just peeled one off - sauced and all

Mirena!
Get it!
No periods, no pregnancy, no pill, lasts five years.

**< <Samson> >** · 06-04-2018, 08:11 AM

Ewwww, no iud shit

**Chrisp83TRT** · 06-04-2018, 08:42 AM

I’d be lying if I said I’m scared as all hell to have kids. I have that selfish mentality where I like to focus on me, my one day to be wife and my family.
I could be wrong but I feel having a kid would put a huge dent on time and money when it comes to enjoying my life with time etc...
How do you guys with kids balance this lifestyle and having time for loved ones and kids ? I’m very curious

**Obs** · 06-04-2018, 08:46 AM

Originally Posted by Chrisp83TRT

I’d be lying if I said I’m scared as all hell to have kids. I have that selfish mentality where I like to focus on me, my one day to be wife and my family.
I could be wrong but I feel having a kid would put a huge dent on time and money when it comes to enjoying my life with time etc...
How do you guys with kids balance this lifestyle and having time for loved ones and kids ? I’m very curious

There is no balance in my life. I am curious as well.

**Couchlockd** · 06-04-2018, 08:52 AM

Originally Posted by Chrisp83TRT

I’d be lying if I said I’m scared as all hell to have kids. I have that selfish mentality where I like to focus on me, my one day to be wife and my family.
I could be wrong but I feel having a kid would put a huge dent on time and money when it comes to enjoying my life with time etc...
How do you guys with kids balance this lifestyle and having time for loved ones and kids ? I’m very curious

I love and enjoy the current child (not mine,but I been there since she was 3, now 8)

it's the beginning that's scares me, if I could pick, I'd like to go on vacation and return rights around 2 years old. babys freak me out.lol

but that's not in the cards. I'm here for the long haul. gotta be this is mine.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm feeling some early stage fright/resentment. but I hope it passes.

I'm just being open and honest, no filter for being socially correct. I'm nitvamong strangers, I'm among friends, and I'm just honestly saying things that are on all our minds at some point with expections on the way to be bornt
^yes, its a "ricky-ism^

**Mr.BB** · 06-04-2018, 09:24 AM

Originally Posted by m.hornbuckle

babys freak me out.lol

You're a big boy, you can handle it.

Support your girl and dont stress too much about it, its part of life.

**Obs** · 06-04-2018, 09:48 AM

Originally Posted by m.hornbuckle

I love and enjoy the current child (not mine,but I been there since she was 3, now 8)

it's the beginning that's scares me, if I could pick, I'd like to go on vacation and return rights around 2 years old. babys freak me out.lol

but that's not in the cards. I'm here for the long haul. gotta be this is mine.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm feeling some early stage fright/resentment. but I hope it passes.

I'm just being open and honest, no filter for being socially correct. I'm nitvamong strangers, I'm among friends, and I'm just honestly saying things that are on all our minds at some point with expections on the way to be bornt
^yes, its a "ricky-ism^

Babies are easier to cate for than toddlers.
Once they start running around and talking the stress goes up a little but its not bad at all brother, especially with two and an age gap like that.

When you get two siblings a year or two apart the constant bickering can be most bothersome but with a nine year age gap you got it made man.

My little girl had sleep apnea terrible as an infant and I probably spent the first two years of her life sleepless from getting up 100 times a night to check on her. I became so wrapped up in her that there is a connection with her out of this world. She is gonna be disciplined by her mother and my gf because I simply can't punish her. When she grew out of her apnea I laid in bed every night thanking God for a year or better I bet.

I get tired and upset and downright ungrateful at times just because it gets hatd with so many kids. Think about it though, if I do a good job with seven kids what greater impact could I leave on the Earth?
I could stand at olympia 10 times and still never effect the world the way seven people will.

It's worth any sacrifice. I forget that sometimes. The father passes on his legacy to his child the same as your dad did with you. Every father wants and hopes his kids do better than himself. We do our best and let go eventually, with the only legacy we really have being our kids.

Someday if I am fixing to pass away and I get notice of it, I will be laying there thinking about the bad shit I have done in my youth but I can find solace in the memories of my kids.
Reading my little girl to sleep.
Helping my son learn to ride a horse.
The birthdays and holidays.
Sports and graduation.

We would be some lost individuals if we weren't fathers, brother.

Let go of your fears with both hands. They are gonna be busy doing the greatest thing you ever will.

**Chrisp83TRT** · 06-04-2018, 11:56 AM

Originally Posted by Obs

Babies are easier to cate for than toddlers.
Once they start running around and talking the stress goes up a little but its not bad at all brother, especially with two and an age gap like that.

When you get two siblings a year or two apart the constant bickering can be most bothersome but with a nine year age gap you got it made man.

My little girl had sleep apnea terrible as an infant and I probably spent the first two years of her life sleepless from getting up 100 times a night to check on her. I became so wrapped up in her that there is a connection with her out of this world. She is gonna be disciplined by her mother and my gf because I simply can't punish her. When she grew out of her apnea I laid in bed every night thanking God for a year or better I bet.

I get tired and upset and downright ungrateful at times just because it gets hatd with so many kids. Think about it though, if I do a good job with seven kids what greater impact could I leave on the Earth?
I could stand at olympia 10 times and still never effect the world the way seven people will.

It's worth any sacrifice. I forget that sometimes. The father passes on his legacy to his child the same as your dad did with you. Every father wants and hopes his kids do better than himself. We do our best and let go eventually, with the only legacy we really have being our kids.

Someday if I am fixing to pass away and I get notice of it, I will be laying there thinking about the bad shit I have done in my youth but I can find solace in the memories of my kids.
Reading my little girl to sleep.
Helping my son learn to ride a horse.
The birthdays and holidays.
Sports and graduation.

We would be some lost individuals if we weren't fathers, brother.

Let go of your fears with both hands. They are gonna be busy doing the greatest thing you ever will.

Fuck that was also deep... kind of makes me think of having a kid one day . Me and the gf agreed on not having kids ( more my choice then hers )
I know id be an amazing dad ... my issues lie with the possible resentment of my time taken away and how society at this current stage being so toxic for the minds of this generation. It’s scary man.

**Chrisp83TRT** · 06-04-2018, 11:57 AM

Originally Posted by m.hornbuckle

I love and enjoy the current child (not mine,but I been there since she was 3, now 8)

it's the beginning that's scares me, if I could pick, I'd like to go on vacation and return rights around 2 years old. babys freak me out.lol

but that's not in the cards. I'm here for the long haul. gotta be this is mine.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm feeling some early stage fright/resentment. but I hope it passes.

I'm just being open and honest, no filter for being socially correct. I'm nitvamong strangers, I'm among friends, and I'm just honestly saying things that are on all our minds at some point with expections on the way to be bornt
^yes, its a "ricky-ism^

I believe your feelings and words are safe here brother

**kelkel** · 06-04-2018, 02:18 PM

Originally Posted by Obs

I mean he is like I used to be.

Could this be the problem?

**Vinnie214** · 06-04-2018, 07:07 PM

Originally Posted by Obs

They sell them at Walmart be sneaky....

Imo, never bring it up I have been here. I added strain on the relationship and now my son is older and he is my twin physically and mentally. There is no denying it but I caused a lot of drama for no reason.

If you don't trust her then don't let it go any further. If there is doubt it will fall apart. I didnt trust my ex wife, (rightly so, she wasn't worthy of trust) but looking back I see 20/20. I should have dropped her ass like a piece of molten metal. Instead I hung on, pushed forward, and compounded shit x5.

The right one worships you and you feel the same way. Everyone fights but there is a connection, (not love) that has to be there.

You know what you will need to do and only you know best, but don't distrust. Distrust is poison and will amplify and amplify as time goes on.

You know exactly how to hit us right in the feels don’t you Obs

**tarmyg** · 06-05-2018, 09:18 AM

No DNA test needed. The kid is mine!

**< <Samson> >** · 06-05-2018, 03:09 PM

I don't trust anyone - not anymore, I just can't. It doesn't compute anymore, people change their mind on a dime.

Trusted my 1st wife(yes, she's still around) - she straight fvcked me over, left me in debt and in a comple mind fvck. . . . I guess in all reality, I never recovered

There are plenty more examples,

Straight fvcked me over, like fvcking nothing. Closest ones to me too

**Obs** · 06-05-2018, 03:55 PM

Originally Posted by < <Samson> >

I don't trust anyone - not anymore, I just can't. It doesn't compute anymore, people change their mind on a dime.

Trusted my 1st wife(yes, she's still around) - she straight fvcked me over, left me in debt and in a comple mind fvck. . . . I guess in all reality, I never recovered

There are plenty more examples,

Straight fvcked me over, like fvcking nothing. Closest ones to me too

We are all cut of the same shit.
Trust and get fucked over now and then or live like a hermit.

I told my little sis when she was coming of age, "Live and be happy, but always leave yourself at least two exits to any given situation."

I really figured she didn't listen then she said the words back to me at her wedding.

**< <Samson> >** · 06-05-2018, 04:16 PM

Kinda off topic now, but. . . . . .

Hermit it is - at least a hermit that looks amazing. . . . Lol

It's just how it goes. . . I look at the older folk around me & look who they keep around them

**HoldMyBeer** · 06-07-2018, 09:58 AM

Update OP. Did you get the DNA test and, if so, what were the results?

On a more serious note, I hope you are feeling better about it now. (you had mentioned some fright/resentment)