I don’t think this is DHB

[Test Monsterone]

I’ve been on a cycle for about 2 months and a couple of weeks ago I added “DHB” at 200 mg/week.

In the past week I’ve become increasingly intolerant with some things. Last night I was so angry at things that were said to me by my ex, in the past, that I couldn’t sleep. I was raging just lying down.

She’s been staying with me because her house is getting remodeled, and I’ve been helping her remodel every weekend. She brought over this random construction guy to her house who I find out was some dude she fucked after we broke up. I didn’t really know the situation till I put the pieces together later the next day (last night). I even drove the retard home, an hour away, because he didn’t have a license/vehicle.

Then I thought of all the negative things she said about me during fights in the past. I gave this bitch over a thousand to pay for the contractor and spent the last 4 weekends (sat and sun) working on her house, and she has the nerve to bring some dude that fucked her near me?

Today, while driving to her house to finish up what I said I was going to finish (Because I’m a fucking man) I told her to pack her shit and get out. She’s all crying and playing the victim, but I’m just not having it right now. All I see is red. My knuckles are bloody right now and I’m still pissed. She’s out of my house, back to her half-finished house. I just can’t let go of the jealousy and rage, but it’s not like I even wanted to be with her before, And I haven’t been jealous like this since my teens. It’s almost like I cannot stand the disrespect, perceived or real.

I know this sounds crazy and I just wanted to explain the situation because there are all kinds of ways to interpret “roid rage ,” but this is how it has manifested for me. I am increasingly more antisocial, more than I’ve already been in the past. I hide it well in public but inside I’m burning. I’m getting pissed when I even see someone calling me. Pets piss me off, holy Christ. I wanted to kick her dog to the moon ever time the little fucker scurried off in fear while I was trying to feed his stupid little ass.


Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed it... I might need to go relax or something. DHB =/= Trenbolone .

[i_SLAM_cougars]

I mean, you might have gotten some tren . What all else are you taking?

The thing that gets me is, that’s not really a fair situation to gauge “roid rage ” in at all. I’d have snapped the fuck out if I wasn’t on anything at all. Throw alcohol into the mix if you want to see some nightmare rage come out of me.

Honestly I think the whole situation was just toxic and you’ll probably be better now that you’re out of it.

[Test Monsterone]

ISC, Yeah you’re right, it’s hard to tell if I would have been this pissed without the help. I am taking another 300 mg deca and 250 mg Test C every week.

[bomb_r2]

The dog did nothing wrong. Don't hurt the dog . If its pissed you off that bad walk away . Hoes ain't worth jail time

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[balance]

How’s your sleep?
In my experience and understanding as androgen load increases sleep often becomes disrupted and ability/patience with issues becomes compromised. Here’s the thing though considering your dosages (quite low) your androgen load is not really that high even if your dhb were tren .

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[bomb_r2]

How’s your sleep?
In my experience and understanding as androgen load increases sleep often becomes disrupted and ability/patience with issues becomes compromised. Here’s the thing though considering your dosages (quite pow) your androgen load is not really that high even if your dhb were tren .


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I had trouble sleeping running 40mg tren a eod . I had trouble with 100mg tren e 2x a week

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[SampsonandDelilah]

Cut your self some slack...I would’ve fucking raged too. Even test can turn my emotions up, add that type of disrespect and that’s a fucking nightmare for anyone...hormones or not. I can always tell if the tren I have is tren. Mine always has the color and the smell, that distinctive fucking smell. Would think you’d be able to tell just by the looks and smell of it. I run hot headed as it is, and am actually going to run DHB for the first time starting in February, I’ll try and remember to be mindful.

But back to your original point and as others have pointed out, that kind of disrespect would get any man boiling, and if it didn’t...you’re a better man than me.

[bomb_r2]

Cut your self some slack...I would’ve fucking raged too. Even test can turn my emotions up, add that type of disrespect and that’s a fucking nightmare for anyone...hormones or not. I can always tell if the tren I have is tren. Mine always has the color and the smell, that distinctive fucking smell. Would think you’d be able to tell just by the looks and smell of it. I run hot headed as it is, and am actually going to run DHB for the first time starting in February, I’ll try and remember to be mindful.

But back to your original point and as others have pointed out, that kind of disrespect would get any man boiling, and if it didn’t...you’re a better man than me.

He's mad his ex/gf had sex with another dude after they broke up ... was she supposed to vow to a life of celibacy?

The real question is why did they break up , he may have a temper and not control his anger and scared the piss out of her daily ?
Yea you gave dude a ride home , but would you rather her drive him home and boom ten million thoughts in your head

Realistically yea she should have told you , but i understand why she didn't. She wants her place remodeled and needs the labor.

Yea you're on gear , control your temper. Have a conversation after a few hours or days. Honestly were you seriously trying to use gear as an excuse to act unreasonable? There's a million different ways you could have handled this and you probably chose in the top ten worst ways .

Gee next time try to top your horrible behavior maybe smack her up and tag her in post on fb where you're shit talking her and post her nudes

My points are
ppl like to fuck .
The two of you weren't dating
Control your temper
Don't hurt animals
Cheap labor





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[Cuz]

LOL kinda sounds like tren to me. Just take a step back , breath. I think you’re kinda over reacting maybe just a tad honestly. In a friendly kinda way to put it...put it behind you and move on, if it bothers you and tears you up this much maybe just stop communication all together.

[GearHeaded]

I don't think this is even a question . this thread should be in the anabolic lounge cause the whole situation described as nothing to do with wither "this is real DHB" or not . thats totally irrelevant to the situation at hand

99% of guys who don't even run AAS would of reacted in the same way . more violent acts and rage are commited by normal guys every day that have never ran AAS in their life, let alone Tren .

your situation is your situation. your actions were your actions. your DHB is probably DHB. but I still think its irrelevant either way what it is

[Test Monsterone]

Yeah I need to stop talking to her completely. She’s been using me ever since we broke up. I was trying to be nice but fuck that. Maybe it’s not the gear.

[Test Monsterone]

Cut your self some slack...I would’ve fucking raged too. Even test can turn my emotions up, add that type of disrespect and that’s a fucking nightmare for anyone...hormones or not. I can always tell if the tren I have is tren. Mine always has the color and the smell, that distinctive fucking smell. Would think you’d be able to tell just by the looks and smell of it. I run hot headed as it is, and am actually going to run DHB for the first time starting in February, I’ll try and remember to be mindful.

But back to your original point and as others have pointed out, that kind of disrespect would get any man boiling, and if it didn’t...you’re a better man than me.

Thanks for the reassurance. I have never done tren and the liquid is pretty clear, not much yellow, and doesn’t smell any different as far as I can tell. Prob not tren.

I fucking hate women right now

[SampsonandDelilah]

[QUOTE=bomb_r2;7486164]He's mad his ex/gf had sex with another dude after they broke up ... was she supposed to vow to a life of celibacy?

The real question is why did they break up , he may have a temper and not control his anger and scared the piss out of her daily ?
Yea you gave dude a ride home , but would you rather her drive him home and boom ten million thoughts in your head

Realistically yea she should have told you , but i understand why she didn't. She wants her place remodeled and needs the labor.

Yea you're on gear , control your temper. Have a conversation after a few hours or days. Honestly were you seriously trying to use gear as an excuse to act unreasonable? There's a million different ways you could have handled this and you probably chose in the top ten worst ways .

Gee next time try to top your horrible behavior maybe smack her up and tag her in post on fb where you're shit talking her and post her nudes

My points are
ppl like to fuck .
The two of you weren't dating
Control your temper
Don't hurt animals
Cheap labor





No offense but you sound like Dr. Phil

Fuck all that, except for the don’t hurt animals part. Even then, some dogs are annoying as shit and can use a foot broom.

Enjoy your Lifetime movies this holiday season

[bomb_r2]

[QUOTE=SampsonandDelilah;7486180]

He's mad his ex/gf had sex with another dude after they broke up ... was she supposed to vow to a life of celibacy?

The real question is why did they break up , he may have a temper and not control his anger and scared the piss out of her daily ?
Yea you gave dude a ride home , but would you rather her drive him home and boom ten million thoughts in your head

Realistically yea she should have told you , but i understand why she didn't. She wants her place remodeled and needs the labor.

Yea you're on gear , control your temper. Have a conversation after a few hours or days. Honestly were you seriously trying to use gear as an excuse to act unreasonable? There's a million different ways you could have handled this and you probably chose in the top ten worst ways .

Gee next time try to top your horrible behavior maybe smack her up and tag her in post on fb where you're shit talking her and post her nudes

My points are
ppl like to fuck .
The two of you weren't dating
Control your temper
Don't hurt animals
Cheap labor





No offense but you sound like Dr. Phil

Fuck all that, except for the don’t hurt animals part. Even then, some dogs are annoying as shit and can use a foot broom.

Enjoy your Lifetime movies this holiday season

So trying to understand someones point of view makes me a" fairy " ?
Maybe it's the year I spent working with non verbal mentally disabled adults? half the day is spent trying to understand grunts and hand gestures .

I was once a hot head

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[SampsonandDelilah]

[QUOTE=bomb_r2;7486181]

So trying to understand someones point of view makes me a" fairy " ?
Maybe it's the year I spent working with non verbal mentally disabled adults? half the day is spent trying to understand grunts and hand gestures .

I was once a hot head

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Never called you a “fairy” bro, I called you Dr. Phil

Honorable that you worked with the mentally disabled and yes we could all use some more compassion.

You chose to point out “the million things he could’ve done differently” and called out that he chose the top ten worst path.

You only pointed out how you would’ve handled it and gave a soliloquy on proper protocol of handling ones emotions, completely negating his knee jerk reaction to an ex girlfriend sneaking over a dude she was fucking and essentially rubbing his face in it while he’s already being used. You also neglected to understand that ones emotion have a tendency to already run hot when hormones are being altered (this a steroids forum, ya?).

Easy to point out these things when you’re on the outside. I was merely empathizing with him and encouraging him to cut himself some slack even if he did overreact.

Congratulations on your zen like sense of enlightenment, maybe one day I’ll reach your state of clarity, calmness and compassion. Until then...

I was once an arm chair quarterback

[moetorious]

I’ve been on a cycle for about 2 months and a couple of weeks ago I added “DHB” at 200 mg/week.

In the past week I’ve become increasingly intolerant with some things. Last night I was so angry at things that were said to me by my ex, in the past, that I couldn’t sleep. I was raging just lying down.

She’s been staying with me because her house is getting remodeled, and I’ve been helping her remodel every weekend. She brought over this random construction guy to her house who I find out was some dude she fucked after we broke up. I didn’t really know the situation till I put the pieces together later the next day (last night). I even drove the retard home, an hour away, because he didn’t have a license/vehicle.

Then I thought of all the negative things she said about me during fights in the past. I gave this bitch over a thousand to pay for the contractor and spent the last 4 weekends (sat and sun) working on her house, and she has the nerve to bring some dude that fucked her near me?

Today, while driving to her house to finish up what I said I was going to finish (Because I’m a fucking man) I told her to pack her shit and get out. She’s all crying and playing the victim, but I’m just not having it right now. All I see is red. My knuckles are bloody right now and I’m still pissed. She’s out of my house, back to her half-finished house. I just can’t let go of the jealousy and rage, but it’s not like I even wanted to be with her before, And I haven’t been jealous like this since my teens. It’s almost like I cannot stand the disrespect, perceived or real.

I know this sounds crazy and I just wanted to explain the situation because there are all kinds of ways to interpret “roid rage ,” but this is how it has manifested for me. I am increasingly more antisocial, more than I’ve already been in the past. I hide it well in public but inside I’m burning. I’m getting pissed when I even see someone calling me. Pets piss me off, holy Christ. I wanted to kick her dog to the moon ever time the little fucker scurried off in fear while I was trying to feed his stupid little ass.


Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed it... I might need to go relax or something. DHB =/= Trenbolone.

Congrats we all been there done that
Just dont hurt the dog man we all got some soft spot for defendless animals.

Seriously even if I wasnt on gear I wouldve acted they way you did heck 99% of the population would, I know you heard this countless times but time does heal things, just take a breather and hang in there and try not to do stupid things.

[Obs]

Congrats we all been there done that
Just dont hurt the dog man we all got some soft spot for defendless animals.

Seriously even if I wasnt on gear I wouldve acted they way you did heck 99% of the population would, I know you heard this countless times but time does heal things, just take a breather and hang in there and try not to do stupid things.

Tj? Is that you?

[Obs]

I have been in similar situations.
Punched a windshield out of a girls car.

She is getting a kick out of it and you know it.
You made the right call.

I loved dhb.
It hit me different than test.
It gave me a growth feeling I hadnt had in a long time.
That is not the issue though.
If I had not been on juice in a similar situation in my younger days...

I would have taken the guy to my home.

Yep.
Old redneck tradition.
Its called beating a mans ass because of his company.

I tried to explain the concept to my liberal sister in law.
She finally shut the fuck up.

[Obs]

[QUOTE=SampsonandDelilah;7486182]

Never called you a “fairy” bro, I called you Dr. Phil

Honorable that you worked with the mentally disabled and yes we could all use some more compassion.

You chose to point out “the million things he could’ve done differently” and called out that he chose the top ten worst path.

You only pointed out how you would’ve handled it and gave a soliloquy on proper protocol of handling ones emotions, completely negating his knee jerk reaction to an ex girlfriend sneaking over a dude she was fucking and essentially rubbing his face in it while he’s already being used. You also neglected to understand that ones emotion have a tendency to already run hot when hormones are being altered (this a steroids forum, ya?).

Easy to point out these things when you’re on the outside. I was merely empathizing with him and encouraging him to cut himself some slack even if he did overreact.

Congratulations on your zen like sense of enlightenment, maybe one day I’ll reach your state of clarity, calmness and compassion. Until then...

I was once an arm chair quarterback

Hes a troll.
For moe info pm couchlockd. He will send photos of the idiot.

[HoldMyBeer]

Could be. DHB does have an androgenic load though. You never know for sure though when running UGL.
Just drop it and see if it fixes the problem. You're a fucked up mental state isn't worth it (anyone would have a lot of difficulty in that situation, I'm just saying the Androgens arent helping). Up the deca if it helps you justify dropping the DHB
Good luck though brother
Staying in contact with ex's usually isn't worth it in my experience. It most likely leads to drama and puts strain on future relationships

[Test Monsterone]

Man I wrote this heartfelt message about how I appreciate the comments and helping me put things in perspective and then my phone died. Well, you guys are a solid group of men. God knows in other forums you have those idiot teeny boppers that say ignorant shit just to get a rise out of you - when you least need it.

.....

Today I’ve been ok for the most part. I managed to talk to her tonight and she explained she just wanted to get her house done faster. I’m still pissed of how it went down but the girl is literally helpless. She texted me that her basement “flooded” and doesn’t know if it’s her new toilet or dishwasher. On the one hand I want to kill her, on the other I want to help her. Strange combo.


I think there is some androgenic component to the way I’m feeling. I can describe it as a calm anger. Like my jaw is slightly clenched throughout the day and I feel more mechanical than emotional, even though I raged out a bit there. Going to drop the deca soon and just ride out the DHB with test and see how it goes. Send me letters in prison! Jk just send an email.

[Obs]

On the one hand I want to kill her, on the other I want to help her. Strange combo.

Rough sex her...
Thats the cure.
Then tell her to get the other guy to fix it and never talk to her again.

Does she have a sister?

[Test Monsterone]

Rough sex her...
Thats the cure.
Then tell her to get the other guy to fox it and never talk to her again.

Does she have a sister?

You have a sick mind Obs... and you must have read my mind also. Unfortunately my pride got in the way. It’s like when you’re so angry you’re disgusted. Now I could use a rough BJ though.

Her sister is in a different state, married with 2 kids. But I see where you’re going...

[Obs]

You have a sick mind Obs... and you must have read my mind also. Unfortunately my pride got in the way. It’s like when you’re so angry you’re disgusted. Now I could use a rough BJ though.

Her sister is in a different state, married with 2 kids. But I see where you’re going...

All I am saying is you may want to stay in contact so you can tell her what her sister did.

[Test Monsterone]

All I am saying is you may want to stay in contact so you can tell her what her sister did.

The funny thing is I probably could do it with her best friend... you know, the one that’s been with her bf for 10 years but tells you “we’re basically not even really together...” when it’s just you two. If I wasn’t such a nice asshole.

[Obs]

The funny thing is I probably could do it with her best friend... you know, the one that’s been with her bf for 10 years but tells you “we’re basically not even really together...” when it’s just you two. If I wasn’t such a nice asshole.

I am getting older and less moral I suppose.

If I could go back in time I would have screwed this girl and called my ex wife while I was doing it and said "We are divorcing."

Instead I told her I was married and couldn't.
So I got years wasted afterward to be knifed in the back at the worst time.

Even then with that girls giant perky tits in my back, I knew my ex was just gonna cheat and leave anyway.

...But I had to be the nice guy for the sake of my own conscience....

In my current frame of mind, I would have done so much differently.
That girl was paint by number exactly what I wanted.
An hour with her woulda been better than two more years of hell with the other succubus waiting on her to cut and run.

I never betrayed though.
So I do have a clean conscience when I tell her what a sorry excuse for a mother and person she is.

[Test Monsterone]

I am getting older and less moral I suppose.

If I could go back in time I would have screwed this girl and called my ex wife while I was doing it and said "We are divorcing."

Instead I told her I was married and couldn't.
So I got years wasted afterward to be knifed in the back at the worst time.

Even then with that girls giant perky tits in my back, I knew my ex was just gonna cheat and leave anyway.

...But I had to be the nice guy for the sake of my own conscience....

In my current frame of mind, I would have done so much differently.
That girl was paint by number exactly what I wanted.
An hour with her woulda been better than two more years of hell with the other succubus waiting on her to cut and run.

I never betrayed though.
So I do have a clean conscience when I tell her what a sorry excuse for a mother and person she is.

You may feel like a sucker for not taking that chance, but something inside you said no because you’re a good, just, honest human being. That’ll take you further in life than a couple extra notches in your belt.

[Obs]

Now Im pissed off.
I got fucked around way too much by women that could not ever again do even half as good as me and I never cheated.

Ex wife is a goddamn hippopotamus now.
She lets her hair down and she looks like a pregnant sasquatch.
It was a long slow steady decent into that wildebeest she became. I wouldnt touch her with a borrowed dick.

And gf gets in an argument and says "I think you still want your ex back!"

Lmfao!
What!? Fuck no! I'm a bodybuilder not a powerlifter!

When will these women learn...
She should be a lot more afraid of the young big tight titted round assed early 20's girls.
Rather she is worried about me running off with a goddam silverback I cant look at without getting sick to my stomach.

[Obs]

You may feel like a sucker for not taking that chance, but something inside you said no because you’re a good, just, honest human being. That’ll take you further in life than a couple extra notches in your belt.

Yeah I know but damn.
She would have been like a new belt. A fucking really nice belt!

Attachment 177675

^^^This wants to do nasty things to you and you say,
"I can't I gotta go home and argue with a gorrilla on my couch that hates my guts."

Then she says, "I don't care about your gorilla or how much it hates you, I just wanna F---..."

"No... You dont understand. I am locked in a contract with this mfer.."

Yeah... I was stooopid for hanging on.

Im not even on dhb and I wanna slap yer ex.

[Test Monsterone]

I’m not gonna lie I was lmao by the time I hit pregnant Sasquatch. Someone needs to record these stories, they’d have a best seller.

That’s hilarious you current gf thinks you might try to get back with your obese ex. That’s girls though. My ex was afraid I’d get back with a chick that lived on another continent. Like wtf?? Then if I ever even said her name for context or whatever she would say “then why don’t you move to Europe with her? Why don’t you get back with her?”

I’ll take younger chicks but I’ll also take a gym milf. You know what I’m talking about. Maybe a well maintained gilf from only above the shoulders.

[Obs]

I’m not gonna lie I was lmao by the time I hit pregnant Sasquatch. Someone needs to record these stories, they’d have a best seller.

That’s hilarious you current gf thinks you might try to get back with your obese ex. That’s girls though. My ex was afraid I’d get back with a chick that lived on another continent. Like wtf?? Then if I ever even said her name for context or whatever she would say “then why don’t you move to Europe with her? Why don’t you get back with her?”

I’ll take younger chicks but I’ll also take a gym milf. You know what I’m talking about. Maybe a well maintained gilf from only above the shoulders.

Gf only uses fit girls in her fantasies about how I am, "Gonna leave her for some girl with muscles, that likes working out...with a hard ass...(she goes step by step) She will like it in the butt and like to suck your penis all the time...and you will ruin my life and be happy with her and forget all about me..."

I don't know if she is trying to guilt me or get me horny tbh.

I used to think it meant she wanted me to bring a girl like that home so we could all play but I was very wrong.

[Test Monsterone]

Im not even on dhb and I wanna slap yer ex.

Well whatever it is, it’s keeping me up having a good time with obs. I could slap her... I’ve already choked her a few times (self defense). I used to be an ass slapper until my crimes caught up with me. That was a joke, based on real events.

[Obs]

The ex wife is embarrassing btw.
We had kids together.
I cant hide from that.

We had to take my daughter to a doctor and the ex wife had to be present. Long after the divorce.

Lo and behold the doctor is a tight round assed good looking chick.

I could see it in her eyes..."Goddam... This guy stuck his dick in that thing!?"


Yes...
Guilty, your honor.
I made a baby with that thing.
But it wasn't like that before!
It let itself go over time! Things like that take a long time!

[Test Monsterone]

Gf only uses fit girls in her fantasies about how I am, "Gonna leave her for some girl with muscles, that likes working out...with a hard ass...(she goes step by step) She will like it in the butt and like to suck your penis all the time...and you will ruin my life and be happy with her and forget all about me..."

I don't know if she is trying to guilt me or get me horny tbh.

I used to think it meant she wanted me to bring a girl like that home so we could all play but I was very wrong.

At first when you said girl with muscles I was picturing Dave Palumbo with a wig, then I read on. I could see how you could (mis)interpret that... I would have thought the same thing. If a chick ever asks you this, it’s a trick question, Don’t do it: “if we had a threesome, which one of my friends would you choose?” I fell for that then saved myself at the very last moment. “I would choose Jen.......uh because she’s not nearly as hot as you and... uh.. at least we could trust her.”

[Obs]

Thats a turnoff to women btw.

"He aint sticking that thing in me! I see where its been!"

You can't explain it away.
Wtf are supposed to do?

"She used to be a lot better looking and not fat and hairy like that. Its ok to hit on me, I wouldn't dare have sex with that, now."

Yeah that would have made her laugh but then I woulda had to fight the gorilla again and I just dont have the energy for all that.

[Obs]

At first when you said girl with muscles I was picturing Dave Palumbo with a wig, then I read on. I could see how you could (mis)interpret that... I would have thought the same thing. If a chick ever asks you this, it’s a trick question, Don’t do it: “if we had a threesome, which one of my friends would you choose?” I fell for that then saved myself at the very last moment. “I would choose Jen.......uh because she’s not nearly as hot as you and... uh.. at least we could trust her.”

Thats wise!
I must admit I would have said brit before she finished the sentence and then she woulda been hitting me with stuff.

She likes to throw drinks at me when we argue.

I slapped her brother and choked him and she threw grape juice at me. We would argue and it was water and tea normally.

Then one time I told her I was gonna fuck her friends when we got in a bad fight.
She dumped 24oz of scalding ass coffee on my head. Hurt like... Coffee dumped on your head.
Cannot believe I kept my hair.

Picking out wich friend too fast would get random ass things thrown at me followed by liquid.

[Test Monsterone]

Life, brother. Life. I’m going to bed. I’ve been chasing the dream lately, trying to catch that nocturnal bust.

[Obs]

Life, brother. Life. I’m going to bed. I’ve been chasing the dream lately, trying to catch that nocturnal bust.

Goodnight man

[C27H40O3]

The original story reminded me of a situation I had, almost. I had my ex (broke up 3 years ago after dating for 7 years) stay with me for a month last year while she was waiting for the sellers of her new house to move out. She slept in the guest room, and i was by my new girlfriends house most nights. One day while I am out she takes in the mail from the front stoop and sees some junk mail with a chick's name on it. She looks up the name on facebook, finds the girls page, and sees a bunch of photos of me and her a few years ago (when I was still dating the ex).

When I get home that day, she was all pissy. I asked what her issue was. She was unusually bombastic with me. She says (I found your vacation photos on so and so's facebook page) and leaves the house for a final week in a local hotel.

She had caught me with that chick less than a year into the relationship. Years back I had convinced her that I had ended it then and there. Now she discovered it went on for years.

I felt bad because she never did anything to me. She owned two houses and had a great city job making $150K a year. I was a bum back then. I left her to chase a fatter ass.

The grass aint always greener.

[Obs]

The grass aint always greener.

What about when your yard is patchy at best... Kinda yellow with dirt spots and it is constantly bitching.

So you try to water it and fertilize it and topdress it for years and it just keeps getting fatter and bitchier?

You know all you gotta do is go down to the sod farm and roll out a new yard... Sexy thick bluegrass shaking its ass at you... It doesn't even hate you yet!

We are talking new grass and no matter what you do your lawn keeps getting shittier every year. You don't even have sex with it anymore...

You get out the tiller and chew that old lawn up and lay that sod down and fk the shit out of it!

After no grass for a few months that grass feels so fkin good you treat it really fkin nice for damn near two years!

Then you look out one day and see a brown spot and think, "Shit... I know where this is going!"
Now theres fuckin dandelions too!

Lawns are overrated.
This one fails I am gonna pave the whole yard and buy a hooker twice a week.