Depression help!!

[Jdsanderson1]

Hey guys. I feel like a real pussy posting this but I need help. Going through depression and suicidal thoughts and heartbreak. Just want your input if it the steriods are making it worse and if I should start up another cycle. Cause its time soon.

So basically I've been depressed for 3 or 4years. Before I started roids. And coming off them was always easy. 2 weeks of feeling like shit. Np. This cycle however I did alot more then usual. And I was warned by you guys that it was too much. But im an idiot. Here is my cycle

16 weeks of t400 1000mg a week
Last 8 weeks tren a 250mg a week
Last 5 weeks 400 mg a week of mast e
Weeks 1-4 30 mg of superdrol a day
Last 6 weeks 60 mg of anavar a day
Week 1-4 hcg 500 ui a week
.25mg of ameridex end
And did my pct after cycle

I got help from a local guy to cut about 4 weeks into cycle. He told me to stop hcg, replace nolva with ameridex for ai, and through in some tren a, i questioned the short ether. He said incase you react bad you can get off it quick. Ok. Whatever. Now just before I came off this cycle I just fell in love with someone and vise versa. Her dad died and she had a nervous breakdown. And things ended pretty quick. So I'm just wonder if you think. Couple questions I have too

1- did dropping hcg after 4 weeks have an effect on my now possibly low test levels
2 - should I get my test levels checked before I start another cycle
3 - should I just ride it out.
4- first time doing tren, did it fuck me up
6- should I do some hcg?
7- is it just heartbreak?

Btw im never like this, crying over a girl. I feel like a bitch. 5 years ago I said depression is for chicks. I guess karma is butt fucking me now. I appreciate any input guys. Only thing stopping from putting a bullet in my head is my son. I csnt leave him.

And sorry if its hard to read. Im also really lazy and dumb recently. Still lifting though💪Also I've been off gear for 3 months now. Fyi, thanks guys

[Test Monsterone]

Steroids are a double-edged sword. If things are going great and you're happy with yourself, it can be a blast. If something is bothering you, though, it may really eat at you while on steroids. Relationship issues are tough enough on their own, without the added fuel of hormonal fluctuations from steroid use/abuse.

As for the girl... sounds like you're a young guy. There's a girl out there better than her in ever way that will stay with you and love you even more than you love her.

So now it comes down to two options: 1. stay on steroids, 2. get off steroids. The little details don't matter as much. You will recover however you recover. Get bloodwork if you're curious.

[< <Samson> >]

Lol,

Read my “this is gonna be my last post” thread

Depression < I ain’t got time for that

[Honkey_Kong]

Best way to get over heartbreak is to go out and get some pv44y. I'm sure that buffet of steroids you're thinking of taking isn't going to help with your mindset (although putting on some muscle could be a good thing for the mind). Like Monsterone says, you seem like a young guy. Breakups are part of life and sometimes they hurt pretty bad, but there's billions of other chicks out there in this world. You're bound to find at least one that is hotter and you like more than this one you're hung up on. Just worry about you (and your son) and not about the relationship you had with that girl. These things have a pretty good habit of fixing themselves.

If you have doubts on your psychiatric condition or doubts on anything really, you shouldn't run your cycle. You can always run that a month or two or even a year later.

As far as your depression goes, you should probably talk to a therapist about it on a regular basis. I know nobody wants to go do that, but they really do help. Most people don't want to admit it, but they have issues in their lives that talking it out with a therapist could really help them out. You're not crazy if you go see one. You're just somebody that is hurt and wants to feel better.

[Fluidic Kimbo]

tren a, i questioned the short ether. He said incase you react bad you can get off it quick.

This was good advice. Sometimes things go wrong and you want to get off all steroids ASAP. I was takimg Tren one time and my resting heart rate went up to 110. I'd have much preferred to be on Tren A to get it to leave my body quicker, I really didn't like waiting for the Tren E to leave.

Ok. Whatever. Now just before I came off this cycle I just fell in love with someone and vise versa. Her dad died and she had a nervous breakdown. And things ended pretty quick. So I'm just wonder if you think.

I believe in 'vicarious traumatisation". I believe that if you're emotionally connected to someone, you can take on their psychological strain as though it were your own. I slept with a girl one time who revealed to me that she'd been gang-raped by 7 men, and I'm convinced I took on some of her mental tension.

Btw im never like this, crying over a girl. I feel like a bitch. 5 years ago I said depression is for chicks. I guess karma is butt fucking me now. I appreciate any input guys. Only thing stopping from putting a bullet in my head is my son. I csnt leave him.

Emotional hardiness requires regulation and maintenance. Some people do their 5 Islamic prayers per day, some people read the Bible and believe Jesus is the answer to every question. Some people chant and meditate. I met a guy on holidays who was into crystals. Yoga seems to be a religion now for some people.

If you want to master your own mind and be able to handle your own emotions then you need to get busy living or get busy dying. Meditation works very well for me, I do 1 hour per day and I also do a 10-day silebt retreat every year. Find whatever works for yoy though, even if it means listening to Christian rock bands on YouTube.

And I would have sympathy for that recent girl in your life, I don't know if things became unpleasant but I'd keep in mind that she was under great mental strain.

[Fluidic Kimbo]

Also if you decide you wanna sort your head out, it will be easier if you take an SSRI for the first few months. In America it seems Zoloft and Prozac are popular; I went with Escitalopram 20mg daily for 8 months and it really worked for me. Basically SSRI's feel like taking about 1/10th of an ectasy tablet every day (i.e. around about 10mg of MDMA) -- they work the same way by flooding parts of your brain with seratonin.

[GirlyGymRat]

Good to acknowledge depression!

Is the depression because of the girl?
She’s not the one and there will be more!

If depression isn’t just the girl, realize you are not alone! Working out, eating healthy are positive ways to help, and may not be enough. Don’t be afraid to seek help, talk to someone and get needed help.

[< <Samson> >]

Men kill themselves over pvssy every day - my best friend pulled the trigger over (I’m gonna leave the rest blank) about 2 years ago - I still think about this every day - I don’t think a day goes by without him crossing my mind

There’s so much more to life - find yourself. You don’t need anyone to do that.


To me - it’s never gotten to that point over a person. . . I been through hell & back - if I can find a way around depression, anyone can - fact being, that I can drop dead any God’s given minute

[Jdsanderson1]

Thanks guys going to therapy next week. Some misunderstanding I guess. Dont care about the girl. Just wondering why im acting like such a bitch about it. Im more concerned about my hormones being fucked up. Gonna try therapy, get levels checked, and maybe some of that SSRI. Gonna try a test p tren a mast p cycle next. When I feel better. Gotta be right in the head first.

[fit_deskjocky]

1- did dropping hcg after 4 weeks have an effect on my now possibly low test levels
2 - should I get my test levels checked before I start another cycle
3 - should I just ride it out.
4- first time doing tren, did it fuck me up
6- should I do some hcg?
7- is it just heartbreak?

1) It shouldn't have but your friend was an idiot for having you drop the hCg for whatever reason.
2) Yes get bloods, always at first but atleast once a year
3) Yes ride it out
4) It could've, everyone is different and some recover, some don't. Won't know until you get bloods done.
5) ----- you forgot 5
6) No, kind of too late now for hCg with exogenous test out of your system you're naturally doing what the hCg would already
7) Could be, could be Low T. Again you'll know from your bloods

I had a damn unintentional cutting cycle once when I let a chick screw me up pretty bad, I didn't sleep or eat right, was constantly stressed. Sadly it was a waste of good bulking compounds, Deca and Dbol. I looked back at why the hell I let that bitch get me and the only thing I can think of is the heightened estrogen turned me into a little bitch, was crying eating half gallons of ice cream and shit. My suggestion for you to get over that kind of shit and any other thing that life throws at you is get really strong. Lift it with the bar, get driven to improve yourself in everyway, physically, financially, intellectually. Then you'll attract the kind of people in your life that shares the same goals or simular, let your drive scare the pussies and little bitches away.

[< <Samson> >]

Thanks guys going to therapy next week. Some misunderstanding I guess. Dont care about the girl. Just wondering why im acting like such a bitch about it. Im more concerned about my hormones being fucked up. Gonna try therapy, get levels checked, and maybe some of that SSRI. Gonna try a test p tren a mast p cycle next. When I feel better. Gotta be right in the head first.

When/if your estro climbs, you will get “bitch” like symptoms - meaning you get overly emotional over fairly small situation

My solution was always more gear - can’t really officially recommend that to others tho

[Fluidic Kimbo]

Gonna try therapy, get levels checked, and maybe some of that SSRI. Gonna try a test p tren a mast p cycle next.

If you're close to the edge, Tren can bring you a little bit closer to the edge than you already were.

Anavar tends to be good for the head -- I'm not saying that an anabolic steroid serves the purpose of a psychotropic medication, but over the years I've heard people say they feel great on Anavar.

[Sideshowbarbie]

Before you start your cycle, I would get your mental health in order. Talk to a therapist and work through issues that are causing your depression. Get your bloodwork done to make sure there isn't an underlying medical issue causing or contributing to the depression.

Steroids can and do effect mood. Winni makes me a paranoid, violent, crazy bitch and that's when I've started the cycle in a good mood, and yet, at the same time, I'm on the top of the world, untouchable. Set yourself up for success with your next cycle so you can handle those highs and lows safely.

[< <Samson> >]

Steroids can and do effect mood. Winni makes me a paranoid, violent, crazy bitch and that's when I've started the cycle in a good mood, and yet, at the same time, I'm on the top of the world, untouchable.

And, this is why I am so glad my wife hasn’t gotten to the point of wanting to try out any of my steroid stash

I think all of us(male or female) become more hormonal when we start playing with roids.

Some can just manage better over time - some, well - not so much

After years of being on gear - only concern I have is if I ever had to come off

[Booz]

Mate if your head is fucked stAy the fuck away from tren....

[Mooseman33]

do not just stay away from the tren, do not travel into any city that someone may be using tren.

come to think of it, do not even talk about tren. fight club that shit.

all serious, please get urself some help. do not say its being pussy or soft. go get some help, or try. steroids will only increase the mental pain.

good luck, glad u are atleast talking on here, thats a start.

[Dgs59]

Reading your post you seem to be a smart man, yes sometimes we feel shit. Just remember THINGS WILL CHANGE, what you feeling right now is not forever, you will look back and laugh at it. Just stay put and go through this like a man you are bro. Your son needs you as he looks up at you as his hero. NO GIRL IS WORTH YOUR LIFE, bitches come and go.... Family is forever.......