First Cycle / Taking anti-depresants

[Zenpump]

Put your ego in check there, Son. You want real advice? Or strangers on the internet to fluff you?

You don't like you train 6 days a week and you don't look like you eat a horse.

You kind of got that "skinnyfat" thing going, which tells me you probably eat a lot of junk food.

You're very far from a natural limit and that's actually not a bad thing at all. It means you have plenty of room to grow in size, cut fat and strength all while NOT fvuking with your body's hormones.

You're a trip Honkey. This young healthy adult is not justified taking steroids but YOU on the other hand, because you know how to lift (not rocket science) and YOU are of correct age (I would also argue the older you get the LESS "justified" you are taking steroids) you can sit in judgement

[wango]

One of the more interesting threads I’ve read in a while. Zen & TM; great comments, very spot on, couldn’t agree more.

OP, the main concern I have is simply the level of stress that you’ve experienced and I’m guessing, still do. The fact that you’re addressing it with medical professionals is fantastic. You should know that many here (not myself) on the forum have openly scorned medication and seeking advice, as depression is simply viewed as a mental weakness - so to ask the same guys advice, well . . .

So the fact that you’re responding to the meds, etc. is fantastic. My question is if the factors that caused the issues are resolved enough to add what could be a pretty complicated variable (steroids ), that can throw everything into disarray?

Just killing some time with my morning coffee.

[s1nc1ty]

We must understand the temptation of using gear and getting faster gains is always out there, whether its a good idea or not. I have decided not to use that shit to fuck with my health for temporary cosmetic effect but every now and then i get a little urge and start contemplating on it a little again.
I think you look decent on the pic, athletic nothing to be ashamed of. Not like a bodybuilder but athletic, amateur boxer or some athlete type physique.you can get naturaly more gains and look even better if you want the bodybuilder look. Hit them incline presses and curls etc. Good advice here to focus on nutrition and traing.
Remember the steroid gains are temporary, if you want to do couple cycles only, you will eventually loose all the gains you made from using peds but damage your hormone system and health. But if you keep using it long term, blast and cruise etc. It can be detrimental to your health. High blood pressure, thickening of blood to name a few and you will probably need trt for the rest of your life. You are healthy and life is good right now you are not bound to pinning and eating 10 different medications and procedures to still be moderately unhealthy. Before you hop on consider all the negative effects that come with steroids use

[heller190]

I still face average stress. Soon I will be done with university which will make things better.

[wango]

I still face average stress. Soon I will be done with university which will make things better.

I’m not judging or rating stress levels, but dude, you mentioned running a family business, relationship issues, and completing your education, well those aren’t what I would call “average”. Plus the stress caused physical problems.

That’s my particular concern. Adding a brand new variable into the equation at this particular time.

Here’s a factor you might not have thought of - the added stress and anxiety while you wait for your body to respond to the AAS. Test only might take a bit. Plus; what are your expectations of how much you want to respond? What if your response is not what you built expectations upon? Everyone responds differently.

[Scorpion0922]

Ok then what are they?

When the person is metally, physically, and financially ready.

[Cuz]

If you do hop on gear, you better keep an AI and a serm on close hand. You look very susceptible to high E2 conversion like gyno problems.

[heller190]

I’m not judging or rating stress levels, but dude, you mentioned running a family business, relationship issues, and completing your education, well those aren’t what I would call “average”. Plus the stress caused physical problems.

That’s my particular concern. Adding a brand new variable into the equation at this particular time.

Here’s a factor you might not have thought of - the added stress and anxiety while you wait for your body to respond to the AAS. Test only might take a bit. Plus; what are your expectations of how much you want to respond? What if your response is not what you built expectations upon? Everyone responds differently.

I am finishing my studies in few months, the business is going well now and the relationship is over.
I am supposed to come off the SSRI's after my studies are over. and from there I will see if I am fit or not to hop on the AAS

[wango]

I am finishing my studies in few months, the business is going well now and the relationship is over.
I am supposed to come off the SSRI's after my studies are over. and from there I will see if I am fit or not to hop on the AAS

Congrats on business, being over a relationship & finishing school, and I mean this sincerely, still functioning to any degree. I mean, dude, those alone would crush a lot of folks, but happening at the same time?!?

I like your thinking on this. Let some chapters close in your life, then assess, then move forward . At your age it sounds like you’ve got your shit together, I mean that sincerely.

[Scorpion0922]

We must understand the temptation of using gear and getting faster gains is always out there, whether its a good idea or not. I have decided not to use that shit to fuck with my health for temporary cosmetic effect but every now and then i get a little urge and start contemplating on it a little again.
I think you look decent on the pic, athletic nothing to be ashamed of. Not like a bodybuilder but athletic, amateur boxer or some athlete type physique.you can get naturaly more gains and look even better if you want the bodybuilder look. Hit them incline presses and curls etc. Good advice here to focus on nutrition and traing.
Remember the steroid gains are temporary, if you want to do couple cycles only, you will eventually loose all the gains you made from using peds but damage your hormone system and health. But if you keep using it long term, blast and cruise etc. It can be detrimental to your health. High blood pressure, thickening of blood to name a few and you will probably need trt for the rest of your life. You are healthy and life is good right now you are not bound to pinning and eating 10 different medications and procedures to still be moderately unhealthy. Before you hop on consider all the negative effects that come with steroids use

Where are you getting this "you will eventually loose all the gains you made from using peds"

[s1nc1ty]

Where are you getting this "you will eventually loose all the gains you made from using peds"

The muscle you build doesnt last forever. In your body the muscles get broken down and rebuilt all the time. With peds this gets a turbo boost and you gain unproportionally big amount of muscle but when you go off without the extra hormones to maintain the new size your body starts to return into the original state.

With trt you can hang on to more of it it seems because no hormone fluctuations and unnaturally stable and high range test levels. Or if you keep cycling and getting bigger each cycle. But now we just went from doing 1 cycle to a life long commitment... thats why i sayd think it through before you start its not only roses and sunshine

[Cuz]

The muscle you build doesnt last forever. In your body the muscles get broken down and rebuilt all the time. With peds this gets a turbo boost and you gain unproportionally big amount of muscle but when you go off without the extra hormones to maintain the new size your body starts to return into the original state.

With trt you can hang on to more of it it seems because no hormone fluctuations and unnaturally stable and high range test levels. Or if you keep cycling and getting bigger each cycle. But now we just went from doing 1 cycle to a life long commitment... thats why i sayd think it through before you start its not only roses and sunshine

What cycles have you done ?

[s1nc1ty]

Listen i dont have phd in biochemistry or sports science or medicine or anything but you dont have to be einstein to see when guys get offvthe juice theyr muscles deflate. Been around the block enough to see it happen many times and read on the subject. Are you saying what i wrote is incorrect? I might explain it bad or wrong but the the essence of what i wrote is correct is it not?

If i am incorrect, please by all means, call me out on it, prove me wrong etc im happy to learn better if im inccordct.

When did you get off peds last time to even see what is "permanent" and whats not? My advice was targeted for person who is not on trt already

Sure the guy can do his 500 migs test cycle and be bigger for a while but in terms of long term effect the 1 cycle is like a fart in the wind

[Honkey_Kong]

Listen i dont have phd in biochemistry or sports science or medicine or anything but you dont have to be einstein to see when guys get offvthe juice theyr muscles deflate. Been around the block enough to see it happen many times and read on the subject. Are you saying what i wrote is incorrect? I might explain it bad or wrong but the the essence of what i wrote is correct is it not?

If i am incorrect, please by all means, call me out on it, prove me wrong etc im happy to learn better if im inccordct.

When did you get off peds last time to even see what is "permanent" and whats not? My advice was targeted for person who is not on trt already

Sure the guy can do his 500 migs test cycle and be bigger for a while but in terms of long term effect the 1 cycle is like a fart in the wind

you're on a TRT and not a forever cruise, nearly all of the gains above what your body can handle (at a normal test level_ will eventually go away. You can slow it down with good training, dieting and rest. Besides, I don't know too many people that just want to do one cycle anyways (although I'm sure there are those people out there). From my experience and from what I've seen, everybody just wants to get bigger and stronger. Up until we reach that age where we have to start thinking about whether the health risks are worth it for some size and strength.

[Test Monsterone]

The thing is, when you go completely natty, it's not just that your body physically can't hold that much muscle any longer, but your drive and determination to lift pretty much disappears. I'm at almost 9 months off of everything and I've worked out maybe 30 times since I got off. I'm not much lighter, but my body composition has changed. That V-taper starts looking like a U-taper. I probably looked the best right after getting off everything when I lost all the excess water but still had the muscle.

[Scorpion0922]

Listen i dont have phd in biochemistry or sports science or medicine or anything but you dont have to be einstein to see when guys get offvthe juice theyr muscles deflate. Been around the block enough to see it happen many times and read on the subject. Are you saying what i wrote is incorrect? I might explain it bad or wrong but the the essence of what i wrote is correct is it not?

If i am incorrect, please by all means, call me out on it, prove me wrong etc im happy to learn better if im inccordct.

When did you get off peds last time to even see what is "permanent" and whats not? My advice was targeted for person who is not on trt already

Sure the guy can do his 500 migs test cycle and be bigger for a while but in terms of long term effect the 1 cycle is like a fart in the wind

You're not wrong but you're stereotyping. PLEANTY of guys keep gains after a cycle, never all but to say he will eventually lose everythng is not true.

The guys that lose everything A) don't diet during or after a cycle (or both) B) do not use PCT ....to say that a person will eventually lose ALL of his gains after a cycle is not true.

[s1nc1ty]

You're not wrong but you're stereotyping. PLEANTY of guys keep gains after a cycle, never all but to say he will eventually lose everythng is not true.

The guys that lose everything A) don't diet during or after a cycle (or both) B) do not use PCT ....to say that a person will eventually lose ALL of his gains after a cycle is not true.

I didnt mean that will loose everything right after the cycle, but with time.6 months, year etc after the cycle i meant, eventually will loose most of it, if not all. If you damage your hormone system and your not on trt possibly might even end in a net loss of muscle some day then if you hadnt done the cycles.

[Scorpion0922]

I didnt mean that will loose everything right after the cycle, but with time.6 months, year etc after the cycle i meant, eventually will loose most of it, if not all. If you damage your hormone system and your not on trt possibly might even end in a net loss of muscle some day then if you hadnt done the cycles.

We'll have to agree to disagree.

[rippedrich]

hey I just wanted to chime in because I have some experience in this.

Are you sure you want to take steroids when you are dealing with depression? When I was 25 year old I did a crazy stack.. shit wasn't going right in my life and after I finished my cycle I got totally bummed out and was ready to kill someone who messed with me just a little. So if you are feeling low, roids can make you feel even worse when coming down from it.

Honestly, look at depression as a gift. its telling you that there is something in your life that needs to be changed. Only you know what that is! Deal with that aspect first. As a man, I know its usually money that is the main concern and can get someone feeling low. Whatever it is that is getting you feeling low deal with that. These anti-depressants aren't going to fix your environment.

[fLgAtOr]

Wow, this thread has lost focus…

To the OP:

#1 Fact: You’re not making gains because something is off in your protocol. You can believe that or not, choose to do anything or not, but know this: the shortcomings in your plan will continue to plague you on a cycle if not fixed.

#2 Fact: There is a direct link between hormones and mental health. Good luck trying to stabilize one while the other is out of whack. Yes, many have been successful, but no telling if they (read: some random message board folks) will be there for you at your darkest moments.

Good luck.

[heller190]

hey I just wanted to chime in because I have some experience in this.

Are you sure you want to take steroids when you are dealing with depression? When I was 25 year old I did a crazy stack.. shit wasn't going right in my life and after I finished my cycle I got totally bummed out and was ready to kill someone who messed with me just a little. So if you are feeling low, roids can make you feel even worse when coming down from it.

Honestly, look at depression as a gift. its telling you that there is something in your life that needs to be changed. Only you know what that is! Deal with that aspect first. As a man, I know its usually money that is the main concern and can get someone feeling low. Whatever it is that is getting you feeling low deal with that. These anti-depressants aren't going to fix your environment.

I realize that, I took one anti-depressants out, soon the other one (under doctor's supervision)
I don't have any financial problems, I am well set off in life. its just I been through some shit and I didn't handle it properly.
I am a guy with a lot of patience, I can control my anger however thats my problem is that I lock all my emotions and thats what lead me to be here.
Anti-depressants don't solve the main problem, without them I was not eating,sleeping or able to focus, they helped me get back on my feet.

[Honkey_Kong]

I realize that, I took one anti-depressants out, soon the other one (under doctor's supervision)
I don't have any financial problems, I am well set off in life. its just I been through some shit and I didn't handle it properly.
I am a guy with a lot of patience, I can control my anger however thats my problem is that I lock all my emotions and thats what lead me to be here.
Anti-depressants don't solve the main problem, without them I was not eating,sleeping or able to focus, they helped me get back on my feet.

Why are you trying to talk him in to switching his position and giving you his approval? He gave you his advice, either take it or leave it. You already have it in your mind you're going to do gear, so what would you gain by getting his permission? Do you just want to be fluffed or something?

[Mooseman33]

he is crazy

[heller190]

Why are you trying to talk him in to switching his position and giving you his approval? He gave you his advice, either take it or leave it. You already have it in your mind you're going to do gear, so what would you gain by getting his permission? Do you just want to be fluffed or something?

Are you a dumbass?? How am I trying to get his approval or his permission?? I am responding to what he said.
Besides I've already stated previously that I might do the cycle in few months only after I am off the antidepressants.
Now why the fuck are you bothering me?? don't you have something better to do?

[heller190]

he is crazy

Unfortunately not crazy enough to hop on a cycle without considering the risks

[Test Monsterone]

Are you a dumbass?? How am I trying to get his approval or his permission?? I am responding to what he said,
Besides I've already stated previously that I am going to do an only test cycle in few months only after I am off the SSRI's.
Now why the fuck are you bothering me?? don't you have something better to do?

I don't see anything wrong with what you said. I think something got misinterpreted. You seem like a smart guy, and asking questions and sharing experiences is part of the learning process. You're better off than 90% of the guys who start gear, ask questions later.

The longer I've been off gear now, the more I think about what I would tell myself before I got on gear and if I would have changed anything. It's tough to say, because at that time I was actually quite depressed and had a "fuck it" mentality. Sure, I did my research to mitigate risks, but at that point I was pretty deep in the hole and my future health and longevity were not a concern. Now, a few years older, a few years wiser, having come off gear, I have a different perspective. Everyone has different goals and outlooks on life, so we all come to our own conclusions. Imo, at the end of the day, being natty is always going to be the best route because it's the least risky. But, had I not had the 4 years of experience with gear under my belt, I would have always wondered what it would be like. And, in a way, steroids catapulted me out of that depression and made me confident again. I felt like my old self again. It's strange that now, having done the gear and probably having lower t than I had before I started steroids, I feel better than I have in a long time. I like the wave I'm on at the moment. Maybe that will change at some point. When I first got on gear, and probably the first couple of years, I would have told anyone to get on TRT. I don't know if I would do that now. No injections, no elevated estrogen, no mood swings, no sleep apnea... I feel much better being off gear in many ways. I think about things in a practical but also philosophical way. This is a lifestyle choice, but it comes with consequences. If you need to talk about this, pm me.