If Dr. Seuss was a woman (humor)
A lot of you have probably seen this in chain e-mails but I thought I'd post it for those of who hadn't, cause i think it's hilarious.
If Dr. Seuss Was a Woman, she'd write:
>> > >
>> > > I'm glad I'm a woman -Yes I am, yes I am.
>> > > I don't live on Budweiser, Beer, nuts and Spam.
>> > > I don't brag to my buddies about my erections.
>> > > I won't drive to Hell before asking directions.
>> > > I act nice at parties; don't act like a clown;
>> > > And I know how to put the damn toilet seat down.
>> > >
>> > > I won't grab your boobies; I won't pinch your butt.
>> > > My belt is not hidden beneath my beer gut.
>> > > I don't go around re-adjusting my crotch;
>> > > or make sure my headboard bears each hard-earned
>> > > notch.
>> > > I don't belch in public; don't scratch my behind.
>> > > I'm a woman, you see- I'm just not that kind!
>> > >
>> > > I'm glad I'm a woman; So glad I could sing-
>> > > and thrilled I'm not covered in shag carpeting.
>> > > Hair won't grow from my ears, Or cover my back.
>> > > And when I bend over, you can't see my crack.
>> > > I'm a woman, alas-and I'm proud, don't you see?
>> > > I'm blessed to have two boobs and squat when I pee.
>> > >
>> > > I don't live for golf, or shoot basketball.
>> > > I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.
>> > > I don't need male bonding; I don't cruise for chicks-
>> > > I'll never join the "Hair Club", or think with my
>> > > dick.
>> > > I'm a woman, by chance And thankful I am!
>> > > I'm so glad I'm a woman; not a man, yes I am!
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