ex girl trouble need input

[Merc..]

Hi all, I have been hanging out here for awhile usually dont post much in the lounge but there is usually some good advise here so I figured why not see what you guys think. I was with this chick over two years ago and we fought like crazy but I fell in love with her ( before all the fighting started of course).. She had a little boy that I loved also ( he was two years old). She was a mean bitch I dont know why I put up with her BS( I guess cause I loved her and the kid). I have dated many girls before but never felt the way I felt about this one.. We where together for over a year I had plenty of chicks hitting on me the whole time I was with her . They said shit like why you with that ugly girl you can do way better and so on trying to get me to leave her but anyways I was in love with her so I dint pursue anyone else. Well she broke up with me after a little over a year and needless to say I was very upset.. About 7 months later we started hanging out again ( i know dumb move). And all those stupid feeling came back. Everything was going ok for about two months. She moved about two hours away from me so I only saw her on the weekends when I would drive up to where she was.. After two months we got into a fight that she started for no reason ( while watching the superbowl) And she freaked out on my throwing shit and yelling so I just left and drove home.. I called her and she said she dont want to hang out anymore. Again I find myself very upset ... Call her a few more times and say screw it and try to move on. Went out on some dates but dont like any of the chicks.. I cant seem to get over the bitch!! Thinking about her way to much to the point where it is out of control.. Then today I get a call from a company she took a small loan out from asking me if I knew where she was and that her payment is late. They said her cell phone was no longer in service .. I am kinda worried about her and her kid. I guess I am still in love with her ( which sucks by the way!!!) I hope they are alright but I have no way to get a hold of them to check.. I just want to get over her and move on !! I probably should not even care what she is up to.. What is the best way to get over some bitch ?? It has been months and she is still on my mind... Any input ?? Sorry for the long boring story I know there are some good post on this type of crap on here and wanted to see what you guys would suggest..

[soccer#3]

damn bro.. sounds tough for sure.. obviously u still care for her but if u wanna forget her then i'd suggest to bury ur feelins, memories and everything else that reminds u of her. give it time, see other people, live ur life and wit time she'll be nothin but a blank memory to u

[Merc..]

Soild advise !!! Thanks!!!

[BARLOW]

a fine piece of ass u feel better

[abstrack]

refering to her as bitch and saying you have feelings for her still, but it sucks sure tells me you love the pooney more then the girl.

Move on and find some other girl to fight with.

[SnaX]

Depending on how many women you've dated before her, is a big factor in how much she grew on you. This isn't to say your feelings weren't real, but if you hadn't been in a more-serious relationships before hand, then you are more volnurable/prone to fall for a woman. This leaves open the chance for you to become very hurt, but this doesn't mean you shouldn't ever date in the future.
She's on your mind because you WANT her to be on your mind. The fact is that what she gave you before (the environment she presented/pointless fights) is FAMILIAR to you. And people have a tendency to be afraid of getting out of their norm because it's new territory. Whether it be a deep heartache, the pain is still a safezone. You need to take the step out of your box, and explore whats out there.
I understand what you feel, and how much you may have wanted a relationship, HOWEVER she may very well be the one you have to leave behind in order to find your TRUE soulmate.

[ascendant]

apparently whatever it was that you were supposed to learn from that relationship you haven't learned yet, so you're still wanting her so you can make the same damn mistakes again and hopefully learn from them. to save yourself the time, really analyze the whole relationship and see what there was to gain from it, then let it go. once you understand what it is that makes you interested in her despite you two not getting along, you'll find what you needed to get out of that relationship.

i'd strongly advise doing this rather than continuing being involved with her in any way, at least not until you're completely over her and can truly "just be friends". i have learned the hard way from past relationships that if you don't learn the lesson the first time, it gets worse and worse each time after that.

as far as finding a better relationship, your problem might be right now that you're too focused on her. again, the above advice should get rid of that. also, when intentionally searching for women, we tend to overlook many flaws in them in attempts to make them "the one". set within your mind the kind of girl you want to meet and be very definitive, then let it go. it might take some time, but you'll find her, and it'll be with no effort on your part. in the meantime if you'd still like to pursue women, simply don't do so with the intents of finding a great relationship. accept them for simply what they are and you'll get far more out of those relationships and with far less hardships.

[SnaX]

And just to remind you, It's okay not to think about her.

[helium3]

refering to her as bitch and saying you have feelings for her still, but it sucks sure tells me you love the pooney more then the girl.

Move on and find some other girl to fight with.

who invents these f@@king words.


sounds like its time to move on my friend.

[mwolffey]

a fine piece of ass u feel better

this is true that and a strip club and a good meal...imo

[rippledsteel]

Look bro, dont know how old you are but as life goes on youll probably find out that its going to be very difficult to find a woman that you dont end up fighting with after staying with her any decent amount of time, just something that goes with relationships. Having said that,Now Im going have to agree with Barlow on this one nothing will make you feel better that to go and get buried up in some new fine piece of Ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Merc..]

Thanks for the input peeps... Lots of good advise !! Was kinda hesitant to post this here but glad I did!!

[tretch187]

Holy crap I am tired. I skimmed the title and thought this thread was about a tranny who needed help. lol

[thegodfather]

Its something very simple, that every person should realize. Why would you presume to waste your time on someone who doesn't feel the same way about you, that you do about them?

I know thats easier said than done, but its the very simple truth. If she does not want to put as much into you as you would like to into her, drop her right then and there, and do whatever you possibly have to do to get over her. I have been on and off with my girlfriend for about 6 years. We have had our ruff times and at one point I was pretty much over her completely, I had moved on, been with a ton of different women. Somehow, we live together now and plan on getting married some day. Its strange how things in life go like that. The point is, in the mean time of finding out whats really true, you have to do you and do your own thing, and see what else is out there. The only person it is hurting by sitting around and moping, is you. Because you damn well better believe she is out doing her thing and not giving a flying **** about your feelings. You need to get control over your feelings with your mind, and force yourself to go out and meet people and have a good time.

[Merc..]

Holy crap I am tired. I skimmed the title and thought this thread was about a tranny who needed help. lol

Dam you must be real tired!! LOL.. Where the hell did you get the tranny thing from BTW????

[ascendant]

i see lots of good advice here, and some not so much. any of you guys that are going to do the stereotypical "screw the b*tch" and "go get some *ss" or "go get liad" comments, do you really think you're helping him? if you're gonna help him, by all means help the man, but those comments have been drilled over and over and over in all the threads like this. before you post the get laid and screw her comments, just do a thread search and see how many times those sayings have been beaten already.

anyone who's ever dealt with a serious relationship and been under similar circumstances would know it's not that simple, and that those comments are of no use whatsoever. you think he doesn't wanna just say screw her? you think he doesn't want to still get laid? cmon, common sense would indicate that's the direction he's looking to head, but he needs better advice than that.

i just had to say something about those kind of comments cause i'm just fed up with the one-line macho-man comments that serve no purpose other than to contribute towards women degrading men about their arrogant attitudes towards the women.

[firmechicano831]

Try to find someone that could replace her. Hang out at the stripp club for one day and check out the fine ladies and see for your self how the ocean is full of women.

[Merc..]

i see lots of good advice here, and some not so much. any of you guys that are going to do the stereotypical "screw the b*tch" and "go get some *ss" or "go get liad" comments, do you really think you're helping him? if you're gonna help him, by all means help the man, but those comments have been drilled over and over and over in all the threads like this. before you post the get laid and screw her comments, just do a thread search and see how many times those sayings have been beaten already.

anyone who's ever dealt with a serious relationship and been under similar circumstances would know it's not that simple, and that those comments are of no use whatsoever. you think he doesn't wanna just say screw her? you think he doesn't want to still get laid? cmon, common sense would indicate that's the direction he's looking to head, but he needs better advice than that.

i just had to say something about those kind of comments cause i'm just fed up with the one-line macho-man comments that serve no purpose other than to contribute towards women degrading men about their arrogant attitudes towards the women.

Yea I wish it was that easy to just get with some girl and get laid. As you said its not that easy!!! Thanks for your input!!

[SMAN12b]

TIME !! You need time and space. Get out and do stuff to take your mind off her. Wake up everyday and PRETEND you don't care about her and one day it will be true!!

Good luck bro, I feel for you. Been there, going through it still

[stunt954]

I agree with Ascendants first post about how you just haven't realized yet what you were supposed to take from the relationship and thats whats hindering you from moving on... ( I've been there many times myself bud ). But I also have to agree with many of the other guys on this board (womanizers and female degrading dogs they might be... they do have a point) My advice would be to date around some more to help get over the lonely reflection periods where you question everything about you and the "EX". The spontaneity and spark of a new friendship will have you forgetting about your troublesome EX in no time...

-We've got your back bud... hang in there-

[Merc..]

TIME !! You need time and space. Get out and do stuff to take your mind off her. Wake up everyday and PRETEND you don't care about her and one day it will be true!!

Good luck bro, I feel for you. Been there, going through it still

Yea man it really sucks!! I dont know why I am still sweating this crap. It is freaking me out !! I hate this feeling its driving me nuts!!! Thanks for your input

[SMAN12b]

Yea man it really sucks!! I dont know why I am still sweating this crap. It is freaking me out !! I hate this feeling its driving me nuts!!! Thanks for your input

Hang in there bro. You can' t let them have this much control over your life. Does she deserve to have this much power over your happiness? I thnk NOT.

So try to look at it that way. The more bummed out you are, the more power you are giving to someone who treated you like shit!! You deserve better than that, so don't let her ruin you for the next one that may be THE ONE! You owe it to the next one to be the best you can be and not show weakness or baggage

We are here for ya bro!!

[Merc..]

Thanks for all the support !! It means alot!!

[SnaX]

i see lots of good advice here, and some not so much. any of you guys that are going to do the stereotypical "screw the b*tch" and "go get some *ss" or "go get liad" comments, do you really think you're helping him? if you're gonna help him, by all means help the man, but those comments have been drilled over and over and over in all the threads like this. before you post the get laid and screw her comments, just do a thread search and see how many times those sayings have been beaten already.

anyone who's ever dealt with a serious relationship and been under similar circumstances would know it's not that simple, and that those comments are of no use whatsoever. you think he doesn't wanna just say screw her? you think he doesn't want to still get laid? cmon, common sense would indicate that's the direction he's looking to head, but he needs better advice than that.

i just had to say something about those kind of comments cause i'm just fed up with the one-line macho-man comments that serve no purpose other than to contribute towards women degrading men about their arrogant attitudes towards the women.

The man has a point. Situations like these aren't best handled with the "kick 'em to the curb" approach. Some of the advice i read was useless. A few of you need to get back in the kiddy pool, and leave this to the adults.
Im sure ascendant and I are on the same page with this.

[SnaX]

In any case, you're going to be just fine. Which leaves us open to talk about other things now i suppose. I like working-out. How about you guys?