girl problems, help bros (what to do?)

[farrebarre]

hey bros, well its like this
i was together with this girl and i really loved her, she broke up with me just like that i mean the night before she broke up she was telling me how much i meant to her that this summer she wanted to move in with me etc etc and the next she says its over. she ****ed me up real good and now 6 months down the road i thought i had forgotten about her but about 2 weeks ago i got an sms from her and we started talking again.
all the feelings that i thought and hoped were gone just came back but she keeps telling me that we are only friends but somehow it still feels like more than friends, we talk just like a couple, the other day we talked for 8 hours on the phone...

she tells me that she only wants to be my friend, nothing more, she says that im really nice and wonderful bla bla blaand that she wants me to pop her cherry coz she doesnt want to remember a jackass for the rest of her life.

well from all this that i told u what do u think she wants from me?
thnx for any help guys.

[Homeguard]

Sounds like she's playing with your head. If you can handle it, f**k her and walk away.

Just my 2cents

[MrMeathead]

Definately sounds like she is playing mind games. If she really "loved" you she would't have cut you off a day later. Everyone has had at least 1 relationship like that and the best thing to do from my personal experience is just to drop her, don't talk to her period, and move on. 1 or 2 things that could possibly happen by continuing to talk to her is either she keeps leading you on then you will continue to be depressed over her or you and her will get back together and it will be the most repetitive thing ever and you will go through what your going through now over and over again. Why be down over 1 girl? There are plenty others out there but the key is finding a good one and it sounds to me like you got a bad apple. Good luck with whatever you choose bro.

[SnaX]

I think she doesn't know what she wants. The question for you need to ask YOURSELF, is what do YOU want. I understand your feelings with the history that you have with this girl, just have to take it slow when things start to hurt and get scrambled inside.
I know how hard this is going to be for you, but you have to move on. Sometimes you have to leave the person you think you want, in order to find your true match.
As for this cherry popping thing, what will you get out of it? If you sleep with her and "do her a favor", you get some satisfaction, but will the damage done to you emotionaly be worth it? I think you know the answer to this one.

The bottom line is, there is no point to this situation, as it is just an event with no true meaning. No hidden message, nothing to be gained long term. She will just be an easy lay, which is not something you want to tell yourself, but what else can you see this as?

Her tactic of "lets just be friends, but we can have sex", isn't too healthy.

I'm just looking out for your emotional well being here. So if you don't want to be hurt, tell her to kick rocks and find yourself a real woman who wants YOU. If you're not worried about being hurt, then you can sleep with her. Up to you. Those are your options. Do the right thing.

[farrebarre]

thnx for the help bros, u guys really helped me understand my situation alot better.
i agree with u snax, its just that in my shoes, i never thought about it like that but now that i see things from ur point of view it really makes sense

[lucabratzi]

she sounds really immature....its not worth it to keep having ur heart broken, after u already gotten over her....she left u on the drop of a hat, so the way i see it that is like her sayin **** u i dont care about u...and why would u wanna be with someone that doesnt care about u...

[Oki-Des]

Hey man, good luck and welcome to the world of "What the hell is she thinking"
This is where most of us guys live anyway. Listen, if she says she just wants to be freinds then it doesnt really matter what she might really mean, she is saying something in a way that she feels will convey the same message she is really thinking. In my opinion your best option would be to act as if you were slightly confused by her change in opinions, but act like you do not really care. Start thinking about other girls. Do not always be available when she calls and the next time she asks you to do something together say no. Do not be mean at all, just act like you did, but now you are busy helping your family or something. Dont tell her what you are doing though. If you just joke around, her imagination will lead her to wondering if you have met someone else.
If you are always available to her, she aready has you and doesnt have to try anymore. Here she is making you do all the work. All I can say is stop! The only way you can show her what you have to offer, is to back off and make her want you again.
Right now, the less you care, the more she will be interested in you. If she really does not like you anymore, then it is better for you to begin the separation anyway. I am not saying be mean to her in any way. Just dont call her anymore. Let her contact you if she wants to talk. You will be slowly letting her know you used to go out of your way to make her day happy. Now you should be just as nice, just dont do her any special favors.
If she ever says we can just have sex, tell her, I would, but it doesnt seem right. Let her wonder what the hell that could mean. Good luck, and I hope things work out. But, if I were you I would leave her alone and start considering other woman as potential candidates. You dont have to start dating, but your attitude will show and she will know you are the man.

[farrebarre]

Hey man, good luck and welcome to the world of "What the hell is she thinking"
This is where most of us guys live anyway. Listen, if she says she just wants to be freinds then it doesnt really matter what she might really mean, she is saying something in a way that she feels will convey the same message she is really thinking. In my opinion your best option would be to act as if you were slightly confused by her change in opinions, but act like you do not really care. Start thinking about other girls. Do not always be available when she calls and the next time she asks you to do something together say no. Do not be mean at all, just act like you did, but now you are busy helping your family or something. Dont tell her what you are doing though. If you just joke around, her imagination will lead her to wondering if you have met someone else.
If you are always available to her, she aready has you and doesnt have to try anymore. Here she is making you do all the work. All I can say is stop! The only way you can show her what you have to offer, is to back off and make her want you again.
Right now, the less you care, the more she will be interested in you. If she really does not like you anymore, then it is better for you to begin the separation anyway. I am not saying be mean to her in any way. Just dont call her anymore. Let her contact you if she wants to talk. You will be slowly letting her know you used to go out of your way to make her day happy. Now you should be just as nice, just dont do her any special favors.
If she ever says we can just have sex, tell her, I would, but it doesnt seem right. Let her wonder what the hell that could mean. Good luck, and I hope things work out. But, if I were you I would leave her alone and start considering other woman as potential candidates. You dont have to start dating, but your attitude will show and she will know you are the man.

thnx bro, made me feel better reading this, havnt called her since yesterday morning and now i wont do so, if she wants something she can contact me.

[slob]

i'd tell her to fvck off personally

[Oki-Des]

Thats the way to do it, because every time you call her, you remind her she still has you. You have to slowly show her the negative ramifications of her actions without being mean or disrespectful. Right now, regardless of what she says, is also missing you. The kinder you are and the more you do to make her happy right now, will simply make this difficult time easier for her. She is the one that messed things up, so why make it easier on her. The best thing you can do is have as much fun as possible. Make her know your world is a great place to be in. She will be left with her sorrow and quilt. If you are having fun, your world seems like a fun place to live in, and she may want to come back.
The sadder you are now, the less appealing your world seems. You cant make her think that she is whats good in your life, because she already has her world. You have to make your world an exciting place. I hope this makes sense. Anyway, I would plan to do something fun with some friends. Go to an amusment park on an overnight trip with a few friends or camping with a small group. Anything that will get you away and make her wish she was going. Try to plan the trip with friends she may not know or at least cannot contact during the trip or hear stories from later. You need to secure your own fun that does not include or require her presence.
Good luck!

[industywetrusty]

Sounds like she jus wants you around until she can find someone better, a jus in case type of thing... its summer, an maybe she jus wants to see her options... but who knows haha girls are tricky fukers

[Mizfit]

tell her to fuk off

[Dave321]

do her first... then do what mizfit said.

[Mizfit]

do her first... then do what mizfit said.

i was gonna say that too.. but didn't wanna come off too harsh

[Kale]

Bitch is playing games bro, dump her ass and move on. Find a chic with a brain, oh and a nice ass, oh and big tits as well !!!

[farrebarre]

thnx all for ur help n advice,
oki-des u got some heavy shit goin on there u should write a book bro lol..

[Pooks]

Some if not most girls are just messes in the head.. congrats u found one of them. Think of her as the devil tempting u into a life of misery n hell.

[mwolffey]

she is an ass...you deserve better bro

[NCNPC29]

hey bros, well its like this
i was together with this girl and i really loved her, she broke up with me just like that i mean the night before she broke up she was telling me how much i meant to her that this summer she wanted to move in with me etc etc and the next she says its over. she ****ed me up real good and now 6 months down the road i thought i had forgotten about her but about 2 weeks ago i got an sms from her and we started talking again.
all the feelings that i thought and hoped were gone just came back but she keeps telling me that we are only friends but somehow it still feels like more than friends, we talk just like a couple, the other day we talked for 8 hours on the phone...

she tells me that she only wants to be my friend, nothing more, she says that im really nice and wonderful bla bla blaand that she wants me to pop her cherry coz she doesnt want to remember a jackass for the rest of her life.

well from all this that i told u what do u think she wants from me?
thnx for any help guys.

Good lord, it's like I'm reliving my own past..lololol..I posted on another thread a very similar story...madly in love.. we break up... calls me out of the blue saying she wants to lose her virginity to me..blah blah blah... I said no because I felt like she messed with my head enough and then to have sex with her and not have her I would have been a basket case. My best advice to you bro is to just cut it off completely.. tell her not to call anymore..

[farrebarre]

Good lord, it's like I'm reliving my own past..lololol..I posted on another thread a very similar story...madly in love.. we break up... calls me out of the blue saying she wants to lose her virginity to me..blah blah blah... I said no because I felt like she messed with my head enough and then to have sex with her and not have her I would have been a basket case. My best advice to you bro is to just cut it off completely.. tell her not to call anymore..

lol, i think i remember that thread, i think i even posted in it, who would knew i would end up the same way lol

[Panzerfaust]

Sounds like she's playing with your head. If you can handle it, f**k her and walk away.

Just my 2cents

Agree, cause she does'nt "Love" you. That is head game central if you ask me. Pop that ass a few times and walk away with a smile. Consider it payment for emotional distress.

[NCNPC29]

lol, i think i remember that thread, i think i even posted in it, who would knew i would end up the same way lol

I'm assuming she's probably hot as hell? That makes the head game even worse!! I'm almost tempted to say if you could withstand the pain of not being with her go ahead and **** her..lolololol

[copenhagen]

on her

[copenhagen]

Agree, cause she does'nt "Love" you. That is head game central if you ask me. Pop that ass a few times and walk away with a smile. Consider it payment for emotional distress.

i second that, beat it up like royal rumble and never talk to her again.

[NCNPC29]

Definitely let us know what happens! lololol

[BigUno]

man im in the same situation as u but i had already had sex with my girl. oh well i stopped talkin to her a week ago and she called me 2 nites ago cryin cuz she misses me. me bein the idiot talked to her all nite and she wanted to get back together then last nite shes like i cant date u cuz my friends dont like u and i wanna be friends but we can still do shit. well my answer to that **** off and never call me again if u gonna be like that

[NCNPC29]

lolololol...sounds like a twisted bitch.... friends with benefits isn't all that bad???

[Mizfit]

Some if not most girls are just messes in the head.. congrats u found one of them. Think of her as the devil tempting u into a life of misery n hell.

whatcha sayin pookie

[Prada]

Its hard to answer your question because we dont know. Maybe she does really want to be friends maybe more then that. It's just that you are in the position of power because you will find out first what it is she wants. After all she contacted you. Just stay calm and cool headed until she divulges the truth, then the ball will be in your court.

[J-Dogg]

The only advice I can give is:

Never turn down sex.

[DamnYouMSN]

yeah i would never turn down sex either...but remember this, if she wants to be with you she would. doesn't get any clearer than that statement.

[J-Dogg]

Well for some reason too, having sex with girls makes them more "clingy" and fall in "love" with you.

If don't plan on having sex with her, you think you could send me a PM? :P

[spywizard]

sounds to me like she is 15 yrs old..

the best way to keep a woman interested is to tell her no.. no to sex, no to money, no to talking..

don't know why, maybe they love a challenge.. but it works

[thegodfather]

Farre...right now your in a battle between your MIND and your EMOTIONS...I know for a fact from discussing things with you in the Political/Religion forum that you are a very smart individual. Your mind is telling you that this bitch is a ****in nutjob, but then your emotions are overcoming that and leading you in the total opposite direction. It personally took me years to overcome and deal with this problem. Honestly, those type of women are absolutely and positively not worth all the time and heartache that they will cause. However, no amount of posts or advice on this board will empower YOU to make the decision for yourself. Thats something you have to find within yourself, when you can take a really deep breath, tell your emotions to **** off, and start using your brain and rationale to convince yourself that this woman is not worth your important and valuable time. For every psycho like this that will play head games with you and run you in circles, there is a level headed smart young lady who has a lot to offer and knows exactly what she wants in life. Tell me if I'm correct in my assumption about this girl, she is a bitch, she often times has an attitude, she says one thing and DOES another (please remember, actions speak louder than words no matter what), and is prone to bad habbits and very easy to be pursuaded by her friends. Believe me, I have seen this type of girl a thousand and one times and I know the types. They're poisin bro, please HELP yourself and walk away from her, and the only way to do that is to loose her number, cut her off completely. I even got my number changed before JUST so a girl I didnt want to draw me back in couldn't text message me. Thats another key thing, why is she texting you instead of meeting you or calling you? Because she doesn't have the courage to face you and lie directly to your face so she would rather send it over SMS. Dont be her ****ing back up plan, piece on the side, or any shit like that, take a ****ing stand. You know what YOU'RE WORTH, so start DEMANDING the respect from other people, especially stupid air headed bitchs like that. If you let a girl walk all over you like that, you are the only person to blame, and it only shows you dont respect yourself!

Good luck brother..

[NCNPC29]

sounds to me like she is 15 yrs old..

the best way to keep a woman interested is to tell her no.. no to sex, no to money, no to talking..

don't know why, maybe they love a challenge.. but it works

I try that everytime my wife asks me to help her color her hair, some how I always end up suckered into doing it! lolololol

[TinTin78]

The thing is Farre, you don't love yourself, you want that girl to create the love you want to feel for yourself by her. I just say you gotta love yourself more, and just forgive yourself for what you think you did wrong because I guarantee you that you did everything right.

All people are in different stages in their life and you just can't please them all. It has nothing to do with you personally it's just how crazy people are and how little they actually control their feelings in the end. When everything is said and done, you only have yourself left, even that girl who say she will never leave you, how does she know? Everyone can leave you, it's the way life is, but remember there will always be someone new to pick you up and take you on another adventure. That's the way god makes life so various and fun. It may seem tragic and sad, but that's the illusion of being seperated from eachother when we in fact aren't. It's just in the transition we feel sad, before we see the new wonderful being that want's to share a piece of their life with us. Then the old relationship fades away and you wonder why you even fell one tear for her.

Do not hate, but setup rules so you feel worthy and loved from the people around you, no one deserves to be in negative relationships. Stand up for yourself and just tell her you want something real, something lasting, and you will look until you find it.

Be very strong and deal with the pain, it will go away and remember there are millions of girls out there even if I know you can't see them because of the pain you are in. That's what happens when you mourn someone, everything seems to fade away and there is no other to replace her. Trust me, there is and she will make you very happy and treat you with respect like you deserve.

Good luck

[farrebarre]

thnx to everyone for taking the time, really appreciate it bros.
it helps alot reading all of ur answers.
well a lil update on my situation, i hadnt talked to her in almost 2 days and yesterday at around 10pm she starts talking to me on msn lol, we talked for a bit and i could see on the way she typed that she was kinda pissed/jealous or something and i just acted like nothing ever happend and talked the same way i always do to show her that im not bothered. lol then she was like ýeah im gonna go to sleep now i said i was going to do the same and like 10min later i logged off, and a couple of min later i recieved this sms : "yeah like i dont know ur blocking me, well ok be that way have a nice life and good luck, bye" lol i laughed and went to sleep, i havnt contacted her yet, not getting an answer is far more annoying than anything i could have said.

[Bigstiffler]

just pop her cherry make it worth every second blow it in her face take some pics then go home. then when u wake up the next day dont talk 2 her til she contacts u then if she gives u an attitude for not talken to her or leave so soon bla bla bla all the shits chicks come up with to argue with u... email all of yours & her friends the pics of what a dirty whore she really is! then she'll never talk 2 you again & u can bang the next chick!

or just bang her best friend take pics then show her which ever u like better!
i'm just fed up with girls so i have no pitty for them & i act cocky as can b!

[farrebarre]

i think she has a brain tumour(sp?), shes been to a doctor, they are sending her to a hospital near me for more tests, i think thats why she contacted me again..
i know this sound really gay.. but i just cant ignore her right now..
i know she sounds immature but i can understand her, she lost her father a few years ago and now this..
if there is a god he wont let this happen to her..