You know not to forget her birthday and that her favorite flowers are purple tulips. But you need the complete list. Please use it responsibly.
I am going to address each one
Maxim, Nov 2005
100. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something. Remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she’s going to outlive you. I don't know what PMS is and i really do think it is amde up
99. Most women will not have sex for the first time with a guy unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she’s trying to keep herself in line. I have to agree with this
98. No matter how much she reassures you, if you can’t get a hard-on she assumes you’re not attracted to her. YES
97. Beware of your girlfriend's single party friend or gay bud. They want her to be single with them and will encourage any bad behavior as often as possible. Yup and they will take pictures or make things seem worse when she goes out with them
96. Jewelry. Now you always know what to get her for a last-minute gift. not for me i don't wear any, cept a necklace
95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world. underwear is fine, but socks.. hmm take em off boy
94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn’t get along with other women because she’s either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean. i think this is a little over board.. sometimes we spend a little less time with female friend when we are attached.. but if she has no friends.. she might be clingy
93. Girls who say, “I love sports!” are lying. Girls who ask you what time the game is on, without specifying which game they’re talking about, are not. i don't love sports, but i can stay quiet for most of a game if you give me something to entertain my self with
92. A random hookup is more likely to result in pregnancy, because a woman has more sex when she’s most fertile. i don't really understand what the writer is getting at
91. She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.
Yup
90. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it’s their car.
No way, will you drive my car till i know you.. but you can drive your own car
89. A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a $500 gift from Fortunoff. Why? Because her friends will ask where she got it.
No idea what fortunoff is, i would have to research that before i make a decisions
88. “If I give you my number on Friday, Tuesday and Wednesday are your best bets to score a date. Monday is too desperate, Thursday is too late.”—Claire, 27 Call me sunday, i don't think monday is desperate, and sunday im chilling
87. Your female coworkers are obsessed with the fact that on average they receive less pay than male counterparts—and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant is irrelevant to the discussion. They natter about stupidity and waste alot more time doing nothing
86. Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like putting your jacket over a mud puddle for her, you noble bastard. AHHH sweet
85. A recent study revealed that natural blondes could be extinct in 200 years, so unless she’s Norwegian, her towhead might be bottled. who cares
84. Sixteen percent of American men have been with a prostitute—scientific proof most women are decent in bed. EWWWW
83. Women always want to believe what you’re saying is true.
I do.. i admit it.. but fuk i can tell when you lie u dumbass
82. What do women really want in bed? More blankets. They get colder than men. I want to cuddle, and for u to sleep in the wet spot
81. The threesome is not about you; it’s about the two girls. If you’re lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the other one because there’s a good chance it’ll end the relationship. My rule.. if you go there, you ain't coming back here
80. If women have an excuse to take a pill, they’ll take it. no
79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you’ve ever had.I disagree.. maybe she is gifted, or maybe your giving her an empty compliment
78. “I hate when my boyfriend is sweaty and tries to lie down on top of me or cuddle after I’ve come. Wait five minutes.”—Erin, 21 depends if it is a stinky sweat or his natural smell
77. The average woman kisses 79 men before getting married. i dunno
76. She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming and she’ll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you. I will watch, im ok if i got something to amuse me
75. Women who are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash. no dog here
74. “Girls who buy their men lap dances and pretend to enjoy it are kidding themselves. They’re trying to keep him happy with some controlled freedom.”—Suzy, 31 Porno is fine, but this is just wrong to me
73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10. hahahaha, man is this the way a man thinks.. see this is why i dont have male friends
72. During emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives them more practice. i sometimes pretned to get more excited than i am
71. “Women grow hairs in a lot of the same places that men do—lower abdomen, nipples—we just get rid of them.”—Katie, 26 ewww
70. Unless they’re lesbians, she won’t approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if they’re ugly. And, really, even if they’re lesbians. I think ugly women r the ones to worry bout.. not the pretty ones.. the ugly ones try harder
69. If you have something to hide, she’ll find it. I don't look because ims cared i will find something
68. Eighty-five: The number of males per 100 females in Gary, Indiana, lowest male-to-female ratio of any city with a population of 100,000-plus. The highest male-to-female ratio is in Salinas, California: 114 males for every 100 females. so?
67. Kiss her before two dates have gone by or you’ll be “friended.” YAH
66. They can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense. I sometimes have to agree..
65. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win. NOOOOOO
64. An online dating service’s survey found that a woman’s ideal man has brown hair and blue eyes. That's my ideal or green hazel
63. In the U.S., 21 percent of women ages 18 to 59 hold out for their honeymoon. SUREEEE
62. A British study claims a woman’s chances of getting married drop by 40 percent for every 16-point rise in her IQ. The same increase in IQ for a man boosted his chances of getting married by 35 percent. That explains why i am 30 and not married
61. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions. not true, i like solutions, but often i ask questions i know the answrs to when i have a problem
60. Women often cite manhandling of breasts as the biggest foreplay faux pas. Man handle me if i belong to you
59. “When I’m drunk, I can’t come. Not even with a vibrator.”—Lauren, 35 Whoopi
58. If they're going to do it, most wives cheat between the ages of 18 and 29. cheating suks
57. Most women think they’re better drivers than they are. Don’t point this out while she’s at the wheel or she’ll freak and crash. i'm a bad driver. i got plowed, i hit curbs.. kay enough said
56. Women ingest about half the lipstick they apply, which means they eat approximately one to three sticks per year. lipgloss tastes good
54. A woman might say she just wants sex, but sleep with her for a while and she’ll change her tune. “I’ve known so many women who think they can pull this off, but they always develop feelings for the guy,” says Evie, 22. I think there is no such thing as a sex buddy one alwasy eventually wants more
53. According to the American Association of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, Angelina Jolie’s lips were the most requested celebrity feature among all female patients in 2004. So?
52. Despite always complimenting another woman’s short haircut, she secretly celebrates having one less competitor, since men prefer long hair. I agree - short hair can only be pulld off if a girl is decent looking..
51. Don’t call her “cute.” In her mind it’s the same as “not vomit-inducing.” “Sexy,” OK. “Hot,” yes. “****ing awesome,” only if she’s at least slightly buzzed. i love being called cute.. but i think most women hate it.. adorable is cool too
50. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand. nope not me
49. They dream of one day peeing in a urinal. nope
48. Women know where they stand looks-wise but worry about being considered cool, about which they’re unsure. what in the hell does this mean
47. According to the U.S. Bureau of Statistics, 23 percent of 18- to 34-year-old women live with their parents, versus 31 percent of you losers. i agree in canada as well
46. Women want to talk dirty, but they’re afraid you won’t respect them in the morning. Reassure her that letting go in bed doesn’t make her less classy and she’ll probably go wild. Jäger helps. YUp
45. Twenty-three percent of this magazine’s readers are women. yah
44. A psycho jealous girl will do anything to keep her man—including anal. This is a dumb term- i think alot of women will if u ask.
41. If she suddenly cuts her hair short, it might mean she no longer cares what you think of her. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about someone else’s opinion. lie
40. About half of all brides will lose a good friend over a ridiculous bridesmaid squabble. dumb
39. It never hurts to say you're sorry, even if you don't mean it. dumb
38. Let her beat you at something once in a while—poker, chess, Ping-Pong—and she’ll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quiet. dumb
37. Women’s public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men’s. TRUE
36. “At one point or another, I’ve gone through your things looking for any evidence from past relationships. I’m talking photographs, postcards, mementos, address books, diaries. If you don’t like it, get rid of this stuff before letting me in your apartment. It’s not about trust; it’s about curiosity, and it drives us crazy till it’s been satiated.”—Caroline, 28 I can't do it.. i am afraid of what i will find
35. Like you, girls hate nothing more than a clingy partner who needs them every eight seconds. i kinda like a bit of protectiveness to be honest..
34. Chick rock strikes a deeply primal chord inside women while simultaneously revolting men. Just sit back and let her sing the Sarah McLachlan or Ani DiFranco song. It’s only about four minutes long. I sing alot..
33. The average woman owns eight bras and wears each one five times before washing. Shasta! Not true, if it is ewww
32. Girls will not sit on any toilet outside their own home or a five-star hotel. Everywhere else they’re hovering above the toilet in a squat. YA
31. Got a new girl coming over? Your (tidy) bathroom should include clean linen, a box of Puffs Plus, and several full rolls of TP. and hide the magazines
30. “Don’t caress our faces while we’re kissing, unless you really, really, really like us.”—Rachel, 21 true
29. On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat. i do, im hungry
28. Breast augmentation surgery has grown by 257 percent since 1997. The most popular size? C-cup. As if you didn’t know. My padding in my bra brings me up to about that i think...
27. Gain her trust when you’re out by calling her at 10 P.M. She’ll go to bed content you’re thinking of her, even if you’re slurping Jell-O shots off some skank’s cleavage. not true i am not an idiot... i got my ways buddy
26. Put down the Drakkar and grab a box of Good & Plenty. Women are turned on by the scent of black licorice. chocolate maybe
25. At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you. hahaha and if you need to bleeive this, drop down a notch and remember if you think this i might wanna sleep with one of your friends..
24. A good but flawed man is a fixer-upper gem, and women love nothing more than home improvements. We love your flaws
23. Every woman is self-conscious about her ass. Tell her you love her ass and you’ll see it more often. I love my butt
22. If you want more sex, tell your girl an attractive woman hit on you that day. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time. i will need evidence..
21. More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat. YAH
20. All women think they’re smarter than their partners in some significant way. Of course
19. The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it. No comment
18. Once in a while, let her pick the movie and don't complain about it. sure
17. Any good woman will tell ya, honesty is not always the best policy.depends what it is about
16. Chicks aren’t afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.kink is good
15. Girls don’t want to date doormats. So make her proud and refuse to give up bowling night with the guys. YES
14. Don't take a woman to a concert you really want to see—she'll just want to leave early. I'm not into concerts
13. “Women appreciate a big penis, but having one doesn’t give you an excuse to suck at foreplay.”—Elena, 28 Yup
12. Studies show women are more attracted to “macho” guys near ovulation. The rest of the month, they’re drawn to “good providers,” otherwise known as chumps. i don't like whimps
11. She likes one of your friends. i think i said it's a possiblity, but your friend might hit on your girlfriend - as long as no one acts on it.. humans are attracted to each other
10. Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason. i don't like ugly girls.. I like all my firends to be pretty because when you go somewhere you all standout for something
9. The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last. nope, just what u look like naked
8. Sixty percent of women in the United States color their hair, according to L’Oréal (who are obviously hoping they can peer-pressure the other 40 percent). sure
7. Dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid. haha
6. Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That’s your five o’clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh. (Mind you, we’re not suggesting you shave.) haha ouch.. no comment
5. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives. and
4. Foghat’s “Slow Ride” is not about a trip in the car. Get the hint?huh
3. The one breakup line she’ll never be able to argue you out of: “I’m sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you.” be honest buddy
2. Buying a present for your girl? She’ll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out. haha
1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12. I know most women lie so this is true
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Originally Posted by Mizfit
