wish my wife would change

[stayinstacked]

All she does is sit around and smoke cigarettes and talk on the phone when she's not at work, it ****ing drives me insane. She never wants to do anything anymore, sucks in bed nor ever wants to have sex, and when we do have sex all she does is complain about how she feels fat and unnattractive!!! It's definitely not a turn on to me. She doesnt eat good for shit, she'll starve the **** out of herself all day long and then when she does eat it's almost always a bowl of cereal followed up by 5 smokes. She doesnt cook, doesnt buy groceries, she's the pickiest ****ing eater I've ever met in my life. If it's not exactly what she wants right then and there, she doesnt eat, she just goes on and on about how she's hungry until she finally just says **** it, and eats a bowl of cereal. Even when I get groceries I never know what to get, because usually it goes to waste. I'm on my diet, so I sure dont eat most foods here. But what we have here she ignores. We just got in a fight and she stormed out of here, the fight was basically over me being irritated about how I buy all this food and take her out to eat, and she doesnt eat any of it. When we go out to eat, half the shit comes back in a to- go box, which will never get reheated, EVER. It sits in my fridge taking up space and just goes bad. I dont even understand why she gets a to- go box, does she feel guilty about throwing shit out? All I know is i spend alot of money on things that go bad or just get thrown away. It sucks to see all these women at my gym who train and feel good about themselves, have self confidence, live healthy, and then I have to come home to my wife who is always sitting on the porch smoking cigs bitching about something. I wish I could help her change, and I have tried b4, but she wont do it for herself, so **** it whats the point!! I dont even care about sex with her anymore, when we have it all I wanna do is put it in, bust my nut and go to bed. No foreplay, nothing, I'm not in the mood for it, and here is the killer, IM ON TEST!!! I wish she'd change, I love her so much, but her lifestyle and mood is getting rather unnatractive to me.

[Hackamaniac]

Damn man sorry to hear all that I really don't know what to tell you because it's really hard to get some body to have self confidence and eat healthy but I wish you the best of luck.

[Growingpains]

I am sure it is easier said than done but why don't you voice how you feel to her (in a somewhat constructive way).

Sure she might get pissed but who knows maybe she'll learn.

GP

[stayinstacked]

Damn man sorry to hear all that I really don't know what to tell you because it's really hard to get some body to have self confidence and eat healthy but I wish you the best of luck.

Extremely hard to do, she tried to cut out smoking for awhile about a year ago but it didnt last long. She does work though, and has a daughter that she spends time with whenever she isnt at her job, but I just feel like she needs something else to focus on. She has about zero self confidence. We dont do anything together anymore, the only time I spend with her is when we sit out on the porch and talk briefly, because she needs a cigarette!!! I suggested going to the movies tonight, nope, she doesnt want to. I ask her what she feels like doing, she never has an answer or an idea. Then gets pissed because she's bored and there is nothing to do. Thats the biggest reason I'm on this ****ing site all of the time, my wife is boring me to death lately.

[Kale]

I have a similar problem. You know how I fixed it ? Look at my avatar !!!

[stayinstacked]

I have a similar problem. You know how I fixed it ? Look at my avatar !!!

Yes, but it's very difficult when your married, and there is a child involved. I love my stepdaughter, and it would rip her heart out if I left.

[steve0]

SHIT !!! SS, when did you get mairried?? i remebering seeing threads when you whould praise your girl saying she was the best, it sounds like to me you need to sit her down and have a talk with her, i cant stand girls that smoke i dont know how you deal with it man. As for her dieting problems you outta know how to handle that, you know how to eat man just give her a hand, and if the sex life has gone down the tube, then there really only may be one solution left, there is know way you should be miserble because of her.

[stayinstacked]

SHIT !!! SS, when did you get mairried?? i remebering seeing threads when you whould praise your girl saying she was the best, it sounds like to me you need to sit her down and have a talk with her, i cant stand girls that smoke i dont know how you deal with it man. As for her dieting problems you outta know how to handle that, you know how to eat man just give her a hand, and if the sex life has gone down the tube, then there really only may be one solution left, there is know way you should be miserble because of her.

See, thats just the thing dude, she loves my bodybuilding and is so supportive of it!! I mean, she's great in that respect, just wish she'd do something to make her own situation better

[Hackamaniac]

Well just hang in there man and do tell her how you feel she needs to know and if she understands how much you love her and are there for her maybe you can slowly get her to change a little bit and definitely get some more self confidence.

[steve0]

See, thats just the thing dude, she loves my bodybuilding and is so supportive of it!! I mean, she's great in that respect, just wish she'd do something to make her own situation better

Bro, you gotta step in and be the hero, and if she refuses your help its her own fault she has to want to live a better life, she has to want to have the things she alwayus wanted and to give her daughter a good life and has to want to have a good marrige with you, she has to want to help her self before someone can step in and push her along.

[Sage]

and than they have the audacity to ask why you started cheating on them.

if she can't step up to the plate, why even bother living with her.

there are so many single women out there bro, i think i will never get married and if i do, i'll be cheating like a mofo. I suggest you assess the situation carefully and whatever the desicion is act on it. I wouldn'ty want to be in a depressing household either.

[steve0]

and than they have the audacity to ask why you started cheating on them.

if she can't step up to the plate, why even bother living with her.

there are so many single women out there bro, i think i will never get married and if i do, i'll be cheating like a mofo. I suggest you assess the situation carefully and whatever the desicion is act on it. I wouldn'ty want to be in a depressing household either.

hah, no shit bro, i can never see myself with just one broad, im only 22, this new broad im datein says she wants to be married by the time she is 28 im like mmmmm hell no not me.

[Hackamaniac]

and than they have the audacity to ask why you started cheating on them.

if she can't step up to the plate, why even bother living with her.

there are so many single women out there bro, i think i will never get married and if i do, i'll be cheating like a mofo. I suggest you assess the situation carefully and whatever the desicion is act on it. I wouldn'ty want to be in a depressing household either.

I can't believe you say if you get married you'll be cheating like a mofo what a looser.

[thegodfather]

and than they have the audacity to ask why you started cheating on them.

if she can't step up to the plate, why even bother living with her.

there are so many single women out there bro, i think i will never get married and if i do, i'll be cheating like a mofo. I suggest you assess the situation carefully and whatever the desicion is act on it. I wouldn'ty want to be in a depressing household either.

you defintely sound like a piece of shit and are a contributing factor to why there are so many women that are ****ed up in the head with serious self-esteem issues because dicks like you chose to treat them like shit and have no concern for their feelings....

[Sage]

[QUOTE=Hackamaniac] I can't believe you say if you get married you'll be cheating like a mofo what a looser[\QUOTE]

yes, i would prefer to be in a looser relationship although i know what you meant in your statement above, but you have you own life to live and i let the good times roll with mine.

[Lavinco]

Sorry to hear all that bro.

Sounds like you're at your witts end.

Wish I had some good advice, but the only thing I know is that you'll end up getting burned out trying to help her if she just won't help herself.

You guy's have become on different levels in life. This is the sad reality of staying dedicated to lifting and bustin' ass to stay good looking while your spouse/girlfriend admires you so much all while sitting on her ass and becoming more depressed at the thought of how much work it actually is to do the same.

Another sad reality is that if you are thinking about leaving her because you have this image that all those women in the gym that look good would be more your type, then I must remind you bro, the majority of great looking women who workout just as hard as you, are not the settle down type.

It takes a very independent person to stick with working out to look great and if you are too independent, how could you ever depend on anyone else for anything?

Good luck bro!

[thegodfather]

Extremely hard to do, she tried to cut out smoking for awhile about a year ago but it didnt last long. She does work though, and has a daughter that she spends time with whenever she isnt at her job, but I just feel like she needs something else to focus on. She has about zero self confidence. We dont do anything together anymore, the only time I spend with her is when we sit out on the porch and talk briefly, because she needs a cigarette!!! I suggested going to the movies tonight, nope, she doesnt want to. I ask her what she feels like doing, she never has an answer or an idea. Then gets pissed because she's bored and there is nothing to do. Thats the biggest reason I'm on this ****ing site all of the time, my wife is boring me to death lately.

I went through almost the exact same situation. She was a lazy piece of shit to be honest and ate about one time a day complete garbage, then smoked a pack of cigs a day. Anyway, she ended up doing drugs behind me back and cheating. So needless to say, shes living with her parents now. I guess the fact that I was motivated in many ways and productive made her feel shitty...

[Timm1704]

wow, that is one bad situation dude. you say you have tried helping her get motivated, but she doesnt want to change. well, unfortunately in my eyes, you have to make a very hard decision. stick with the woman you love, its easier than breaking up, you dont hurt your stepdaughter, but you constantly want more, have a crappy sex life, and dread going home after work as you know she will be depressing you over some shit. i believe that after awhile you will grow to resent her, and this will hurt the stepdaughter, you and the missus way more than if you broke it off sooner. i think you should tell her how much her lifestyle is on your mind, and that you dont know if you want to stay around her. this may be the kick up the arse she needs, and quite possibly change her life for the better

[solid-d]

OK, i see that your upset right now.. but my point is this.. can you name 10 great things she did for you recently and another 10 things why you love her... Come on dude, 10 is a very low #.. So lets hear them..

[SwoleCat]

I'd never stay w/someone who made me so unhappy.

One life to live, and that ain't livin'.

I remember you posted about her like 3 months ago and having issues w/her. Things haven't changed and it doesn't seem like they will.

Get out before it's too late.

~SC~

[Mizfit]

You say you love her, but what exactly do you love about her? you got a long list of stuff there you don't seem to love so much...

And i think you had a longer list of other stuff previously...

[Sage]

you defintely sound like a piece of shit and are a contributing factor to why there are so many women that are ****ed up in the head with serious self-esteem issues because dicks like you chose to treat them like shit and have no concern for their feelings....

wow, slow your row there Oprah!
as your apprentice Dr. Phil said "what they don't know, will never hurt them."

[THE_DOME]

wow, slow your row there Oprah!
as your apprentice Dr. Phil said "what they don't know, will never hurt them."

sage boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, why dont you have any repect for women?

[taiboxa]

i have been IN the exact same situation u are but no child and i divorced her, STAT!

[Sage]

sage boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, why dont you have any repect for women?

alright, i promise i will never post in such threads again since i have been doing a good job refraining from similar topics on here before imposing my shenanigans.

but, it is really not worth living in misery just to remain in traditional merriage even if kids are involved. what he has described is a complete apposite of his ideal wife and at that age you can't just change a person. Those makeovers never remain solid only until things cool off and she will revert back to her original self. Sometime you just have to man up and make a perminent resolution and i am sure he knows what it is just can not coprehend coming into terms with it.

[RA]

Welcome to marriage. I get hit on, invited out to the bar, invited to "after hours" get togethers..with just the woman..

I say no to this because Im married and I deal with much of what you are saying. Children are involved so it makes it very complicated. What to do..

[stayinstacked]

well, we talked a little tonight, things have calmed down a bit. I asked her if she wants to go to the gym w/ me tomorrow and she says she will. The gym has a Starbucks inside it(yeah, go figure) so I'm going to make it kind of like a date. We'll get some coffee and sit and talk before we train. Then, she can lift w/ me, obviously lighter weights, but I'll take her through my routine, I dont think it'll kill her as most of my time is spent doing cardio now. Hey, it's a plan right? See, I know she'll be in good spirits after she works out with me, she'll feel like she's accomplished something. I'm going to try to cook for her and get her in the habit of taking her lunch to work. She's not going to eat every meal out of a cold tuperware container, but if i make it the night before or the next morning she'll reheat it I think. It just cant be as bland as what I eat, but I'll still get some healthy ideas. I'm going to try to help, once I get her into the swing of things for a few weeks, maybe she'll take the initiative to keep it up.

[IBdmfkr]

Goodluck, seems like you're taking the innitiative.. hopefully she sees that and appreciates your concern.. good for you.

Btw, don't give her any hungryman dinners. lol

[stayinstacked]

Goodluck, seems like you're taking the innitiative.. hopefully she sees that and appreciates your concern.. good for you.

Btw, don't give her any hungryman dinners. lol

hahahhahah, brother those things have been out of my diet for so long now it's not funny. The best tasting thing I consume now is a diet pepsi, I'm going nuts over here!!!

[BADASS323]

i wasted TEN YEARS in a similar situation. unfortunatly i did not know how much happier i would be till i got out of it!! thats ten years i will never get back. if you love her let her know how you feel. if she loves you she will change. if not you must decide....just dont wait ten years

[IBdmfkr]

LOL Stnstked.. yea but I still like to bust your balls about that thread lmao..
goodluck with the wife.. don't give up.

[steve0]

you better start hideing some money just in case

[spound]

well, we talked a little tonight, things have calmed down a bit. I asked her if she wants to go to the gym w/ me tomorrow and she says she will. The gym has a Starbucks inside it(yeah, go figure) so I'm going to make it kind of like a date. We'll get some coffee and sit and talk before we train. Then, she can lift w/ me, obviously lighter weights, but I'll take her through my routine, I dont think it'll kill her as most of my time is spent doing cardio now. Hey, it's a plan right? See, I know she'll be in good spirits after she works out with me, she'll feel like she's accomplished something. I'm going to try to cook for her and get her in the habit of taking her lunch to work. She's not going to eat every meal out of a cold tuperware container, but if i make it the night before or the next morning she'll reheat it I think. It just cant be as bland as what I eat, but I'll still get some healthy ideas. I'm going to try to help, once I get her into the swing of things for a few weeks, maybe she'll take the initiative to keep it up.

You're a good man for taking such initiative. I hope it all works out for you and her. Good luck buddy, but realize, if you do all this shit for her and she doesnt appreciate it or see how much you care...then you probably deserve better bro.

[abstrack]

Just shoot yourself. Life is bad and you're unhappy. Might as well find peace some where perfect.






































J/K Dont follow my directions, but relax yourself and join the aerobics group.....yeah buddy!

[crash187ct]

was she like this when you first met her? i'd let her know how you feel

[taiboxa]

actually u could try slippin her 20mg var ED in a glass of juice or something...

worked for me...

[crash187ct]

crack always worked for me....



(yay crack)

[audis4]

sorry stayinstacked, that's tough when there is a child! I'm not married but I know someone in your similar situation-not easy. I would personally pray about it and ask God to help you work things out. I'm a christian and that's what I do in tough times....He has yet to let me down.

[crash187ct]

^^^very nice

[Katelette81]

well, we talked a little tonight, things have calmed down a bit. I asked her if she wants to go to the gym w/ me tomorrow and she says she will. The gym has a Starbucks inside it(yeah, go figure) so I'm going to make it kind of like a date. We'll get some coffee and sit and talk before we train. Then, she can lift w/ me, obviously lighter weights, but I'll take her through my routine, I dont think it'll kill her as most of my time is spent doing cardio now. Hey, it's a plan right? See, I know she'll be in good spirits after she works out with me, she'll feel like she's accomplished something. I'm going to try to cook for her and get her in the habit of taking her lunch to work. She's not going to eat every meal out of a cold tuperware container, but if i make it the night before or the next morning she'll reheat it I think. It just cant be as bland as what I eat, but I'll still get some healthy ideas. I'm going to try to help, once I get her into the swing of things for a few weeks, maybe she'll take the initiative to keep it up.

Very nice work.... sounds like you're def. taking some initiative. Nice to know you actually want to work on things and are willing to help as much as you are. I hope she reciprocates.

If you need any recipe ideas I'm full of 'em, I love to cook. I eat very healthy and I can suggest some things that she might like. I may post a bunch in teh recipe section too, but if you need any ideas in the mean time let me know (I'm sure you have lots too though)

Cheers!