A person who becomes a permanant fixture in your psyche

[Mike Dura]

You ever meet a person who you develop a long lasting meaningful relationship with and you end up parting on good terms? Niether of you have to bash each other to move on but you part ways because your goals and lifestyle choices differ from one another. In a situation like this, you can't help but to really suffer because that person is permanantly a person of value to you yet you just have to let go and move on while that person still lingers in your thoughts and in your heart. It's like being haunted and you have to live with that permanent feeling where a sense of closure is tough to come by.

I met a girl 14 years ago who captured my imagination and remains I person I love and respect. We did part ways and I'm left with a bitter sweet feeling when I reflect upon the experiences we shared together over a 14 year span. Her personality is an original and her sense of humor brings you vigor and vitality. She had a powerful charm and she presented herself genuinely. She was real. When I look up to the stars, I can almost see a pattern of us permanently imprinted in the sky - my skyship friendhip. I love you Jess!

[Pooks]

Her personality is an original and her sense of humor brings you vigor and vitality. She had a powerful charm and she presented herself genuinely. She was real. When I look up to the stars, I can almost see a pattern of us permanently imprinted in the sky

IS THIS A TYPE OF BEER?

[gixxerboy1]

I know what you mean. There was a girl i had a crush on for 5 years. I finally asked her out and we started dating. 2 months later she moved to Florida. So we stopped seeing each other. A few months later we decided we missed each other and did the long distance thing. Miami and Philly. After a while it got to be to much and she was moving her and i wasn't going there. She is still one of my best friends. I probably would have asked her to marry me. We she does come to visit its like we never were apart. BTW my fiancé hates her. And her the same

[Mike Dura]

Lol. A beer with that full bodied taste with less calories!

IS THIS A TYPE OF BEER?

[Mike Dura]

That sounds rough and you kind of "moved on" having a fiance and all. I can relate. I "moved on" yet I really haven't.

I know what you mean. There was a girl i had a crush on for 5 years. I finally asked her out and we started dating. 2 months later she moved to Florida. So we stopped seeing each other. A few months later we decided we missed each other and did the long distance thing. Miami and Philly. After a while it got to be to much and she was moving her and i wasn't going there. She is still one of my best friends. I probably would have asked her to marry me. We she does come to visit its like we never were apart. BTW my fiancé hates her. And her the same

[needmorestrength]

clomid?? lol

[Liftnainez]

Mike you are prob. one of the best writers on this board... always enjoy reading your comments..

[Evil Predator]

Yep... Its a long story, and just writing the details will depress me, so i'll leave it at that... But I understand man, sucks eh?

[stunner5000pt]

i know what you mean...

i knew this girl for about 2 years and within that time we became very close friends and we used to talk for days on end about everything and i really really liked her. Thing is she got a boyfriend and eventualy we talked less and less until it has reached the current point - we rarely talk and i cant help but think i did something wrong

i miss you Melissa

[Flagg]

Yes Mike I do know what you mean. It's the main reason it's 3.30am in the morning and I can't sleep.

[Mike Dura]

Lol. I could have blamed clomid a week ago but the sad thing is that this is not clomid induced. Just feeling a wee bit sensitive way down deep inside. Sensitive yet MANLY, gruff and full of piss and vinegar and stuff!

clomid?? lol

[Mike Dura]

Hey thanks man!

Mike you are prob. one of the best writers on this board... always enjoy reading your comments..

[Phreak101]

And people think meatheads and juicers aren't sensitive!

[usualsuspect]

Life sure can be mysterious and very random at times....

This post reminds me of a quote by E.M. Forster in a paper by Jon Kleinberg titled, "Bursty and Hierarchical Structure in Streams."

It goes: ". . . there seems something else in life besides time, something which may conveniently be called “value,” something which is measured not by minutes or hours but by intensity, so that when we look at our past it does not stretch back evenly but piles up into a few notable pinnacles, and when we look at the future it seems sometimes a wall, sometimes a cloud, sometimes a sun, but never a chronological chart."

I have always tended to live and work in this bursty fashion; brief but intense periods of work and intervals of play and ease. You do not live in chronological time; you live in the bursty, intermittent time of value intensity. These intense and unexpected periods create the most value in your life.

[Mike Dura]

Life is mysterious and random. It's funny how people impose their meanings upon what amounts to chance. It's interesting how many of my friends have a very concrete idea about "the scheme of things (as oppose to thier scheme of things) and everything, for them, is well mapped out in advance and understood without a sense of mystery or doubt (about their viewpoint.).

I think a person who suspends judgement, tolerates ambiguity, and is open to experience, is more likely to sense that not everything can be so understood and one's destiny changes as a result of the road (and not one's original intention for taking a road). When I reflect back on the girl I care for I'm happy that our roads met. Yet I'm sad that the roads part and it's hard to let go. In fact, a part of me never will.

Life sure can be mysterious and very random at times....

This post reminds me of a quote by E.M. Forster in a paper by Jon Kleinberg titled, "Bursty and Hierarchical Structure in Streams."

It goes: ". . . there seems something else in life besides time, something which may conveniently be called “value,” something which is measured not by minutes or hours but by intensity, so that when we look at our past it does not stretch back evenly but piles up into a few notable pinnacles, and when we look at the future it seems sometimes a wall, sometimes a cloud, sometimes a sun, but never a chronological chart."

I have always tended to live and work in this bursty fashion; brief but intense periods of work and intervals of play and ease. You do not live in chronological time; you live in the bursty, intermittent time of value intensity. These intense and unexpected periods create the most value in your life.

[C_Bino]

Hey Mike, nice thread. I think this is something all of us have experienced (or at least many) but you wrote it really well.

Let me ask you something now though, do you ever wonder about if you have done this to someone else? Sure you think about the ones you miss and will never be able to forget, but do you ever wonder if someone from your past is thinking this about you. Its kinda sad when I think that out there an old friend/lover may be thinking about how much I meant to them and wishing things maybe didnt have to go the way they did, but I guess I have let it go already...

What do you think? I enjoy reading your thoughts...

[Mike Dura]

Thanks. No I don't really wonder that because I think the majority of the people I've dated have negative feelings about me. Although this can partially be chalked up to the common tendency people have towards villifying the other in order to move past a relationship, I know that there's some valid reason to feel negative about me. In the past, I've had my issues - emotionally and behaviorally and being an admitted fvch up, I was often self-oriented and unresourceful in my relationships.

I come from a dysfunctional family - one in which the family members get along much more like a spurious, immature clique of girls not unlike you'd find in high school, than mature adults in authentic relationship. It's been dissapointing to say the least. I responded angrily to this and much of this anger was misdirected and destructive and this definately tainted past relationships. I've hurt a number of people just as my family has hurt one another.

Yet people do change and I guess the best part of it for me is that I have the habit of reflection and the courage to admit to my faults (which are discovered through the reflection of myself, my culture and my family) and I have the will power to try to do things better as based on a set of standards I'm still developing. The result of that is that I improve and my relationships improve. Nevertheless, you live with the guilt for being part of such a destructive legacy. I try to redeem myself and with good intention.

Hey Mike, nice thread. I think this is something all of us have experienced (or at least many) but you wrote it really well.

Let me ask you something now though, do you ever wonder about if you have done this to someone else? Sure you think about the ones you miss and will never be able to forget, but do you ever wonder if someone from your past is thinking this about you. Its kinda sad when I think that out there an old friend/lover may be thinking about how much I meant to them and wishing things maybe didnt have to go the way they did, but I guess I have let it go already...

What do you think? I enjoy reading your thoughts...