Ruined my Body - please help me

[Mistakes]

I have come here for help. Please do not flame me. I know and understand what i did was wrong, that is why i am seeking help and advice from the only people I think i can trust and will understand me.

My husband took steroids for 3/4 years he was in the marines. When i met him he was out of the military and had not taken drugs for some time. When i was 19 i became pregnant, I gained alot of weight.

After the birth i was very unhappy with my looks, i was 20 at the time. I bought a gym membership and started working out, my husband sugested I take a drug to speed things up. I took ephedra for a week then tossed it, the jittery feelings and insomnia was too much for me. He then told me about his use of steroids and how it helped him and the others (his marine friends). He sugested i buy some and try it, i would turn my fat to muscle and become thin and beautiful. Tell a fat 20 year old all her problems can be solved with a needle and shell try anything.

I purchased injectables, 250mg/ml Testosterone Cyponate. He said it was the most potent and i should take it.

For about 6-8 weeks, each sunday i would inject one amp into my buttock. I would go to the gym 4 days a week, each day doing a full rotation. Yes, i didnt know how to work out properly or what i was doing. All i knew was i needed to work out. I loved my feeling on test, i had a sex drive that was though the roof! I had energy and felt good about myself. I also had an appitite. Not knowing how to eat well, just that i had to eat i chowed down. Gained quite a bit of weight bt just kept telling myself muscle weighs more then fat.

On the 7th week it happened. I looked in the mirror and saw i had facial hair much darker then before. My voice that was cracking, i thought was a cold was really me 'hitting puberty'. My clit was large but i loved it, and my hubby didnt care. I had also gained alot of weight, and missed my peroid. I freaked out and said i was all done, my hubby pushed me to keep on taking roids. Finaly i tossed the left over amps and needles.

Since then it has been 3 years. My voice is back to normal, my face is hair free. My face has a pudgy look to it that i think will never go away. And in 3 years i have had my peroid 2 times. I have no insurance to see a doctor, and even then im afraid i will be arrested or something bad will happen to me. Because i already have a child im not worried about being sterile.

Im done being depressed, i want to be happy again. I bought a gym membership and am going to start working out. After reading the boards i know how to work out well but i had a few questions about my body now.

Will my body produce natrual testostrone so i can work out well, or have i killed it? Or will i actualy produce more. If ever i took something like Wins or a female roid would i get the 'change' faster then the normal person, or am i immune to it?

Please help, it was my ignorance that got me into this situation, please help me get myself out.

Thank you
~S

[cj1capp]

some help this women!!

[Superhuman]

don't worry about it too much you didn't mess up your body! I'm assuming you didn't do PCT (Post-Cycle Therapy) but that's okay because it's been a while and I'm sure your levels are back to normal now. To answer your question, yes there are "female steroids" that you can take, Winstrol being one of the most popular. If you wanted to take more "man steroids" such as Test then you just have to be careful. I am not very knowledgable about women and AAS but I thought I'd at least post something... there are many very experienced female members here so i'm sure they will help you out soon.

[perfectbeast2001]

Sorry to hear your story. Unfortunately you have been totally mislead as to what steroids can and can't do. Thet certainly will not turn fat to muscle. The steroids you have used are totally unsuitable for a female. Females produce miniscule ammounts of test natrually which is why adding such large ammounts can create unwanted sides as you have had. There are no "female roids" all steroids are based around male hormones. Females using these compounds take a huge risk. It sounds like you have a hormone imbalance which you should go to a doctor and discuss. No one is going to prosecute you for a mistake you made three years ago. He may be able to give medication that will help you with your period problems ect and balance your hormone levels. Stay away from AS and look at the diet forums here. Diet is THE most important factor wether you are looking to gain muscle or lose weight. Also you should post in the "new female members" forum and you will be granted access to the female forum where you will be able to discuss this with other females who have had direct experience with using AS. I wish you good luck.

[righton]

Join the Female Forum, theres alot of experience over there.

[TestSubject123]

winstrol works amazing for me it shredded me up but i got lots of muscle cramps... Other than that it was amazing for me I went from 187 fat boy to 160 cut up like a mother trucker.

[*Narkissos*]

Will my body produce natrual testostrone so i can work out well, or have i killed it?

After only a 6-8 week course? Yes your body should be producing testosterone again.

Or will i actualy produce more.

More? No

If ever i took something like Wins or a female roid

No such thing as a 'female roid'.

would i get the 'change' faster then the normal person, or am i immune to it?

Change being 'side effects'?

There is no definate answer. Your side effects were perceivably dose and compound-related. I don't see any reason why you'd get sides faster than the average female. Conversely i don't see any reason why you should use said compounds at this point either.

Your last run was an ignorant one: you had no idea how to eat/train.. you had no idea the effects of the drugs.. or the use of the drugs for that matter

You're more or less in the same position again. Yes you've got a gym membership.. but learning to train isn't something you can do tru readin online.

I'm not sure if you want advice.. but mine is: continue reading. In the mean time put some things into practise.

These things are: get your diet and supplementation on track.. get your cardio and training on track. These are the fundamentals you must establish to support your goal of regaining your life.

Narkissos

[*Narkissos*]

I'm assuming you didn't do PCT (Post-Cycle Therapy)

Women don't do PCT.. there is no need.

[*Narkissos*]

Sorry to hear your story. Unfortunately you have been totally mislead as to what steroids can and can't do. Thet certainly will not turn fat to muscle. The steroids you have used are totally unsuitable for a female. Females produce miniscule ammounts of test natrually which is why adding such large ammounts can create unwanted sides as you have had. There are no "female roids" all steroids are based around male hormones. Females using these compounds take a huge risk. It sounds like you have a hormone imbalance which you should go to a doctor and discuss. No one is going to prosecute you for a mistake you made three years ago. He may be able to give medication that will help you with your period problems ect and balance your hormone levels. Stay away from AS and look at the diet forums here. Diet is THE most important factor wether you are looking to gain muscle or lose weight. Also you should post in the "new female members" forum and you will be granted access to the female forum where you will be able to discuss this with other females who have had direct experience with using AS. I wish you good luck.

^^This is a great post. Beast you must've been posting the same time i was writing up mine

Why does no one else read the question thoroughly?

-N

[Superhuman]

Women don't do PCT.. there is no need.

oh, well that shows my ignorance! I though maybe they would take some kind of testosterone suppresant or estrogen booster post-cycle

[Maldorf]

Im glad to hear that your voice went back to normal, I feared that type of change might be permanent. Hope you dont mind me asking, but did your clitoris go back to its regular size or was that permanent?
Taking the test wont affect your test levels now, youre safe there. As the others have said, stay away from the AAS and get some help with training/diet. Even men that have learned how to train and eat right dont mess with steroids until they have been training natural for many years, or at least thats how it should be done.

[vitor]

Women don't do PCT.. there is no need.

Right, thats the luxary of not having balls...

I think the only steroids a woman should even considder is, Primo, anavar, maybe winstrol. They have a rather low androgenic activity which is importent for woman not to develope to much masculine features.

[Random]

Ive heard from some top trainers that Equipoise also produces great results among female athletes too

[magic32]

I have come here for help. Please do not flame me. I know and understand what i did was wrong, that is why i am seeking help and advice from the only people I think i can trust and will understand me.

My husband took steroids for 3/4 years he was in the marines. When i met him he was out of the military and had not taken drugs for some time. When i was 19 i became pregnant, I gained alot of weight.

After the birth i was very unhappy with my looks, i was 20 at the time. I bought a gym membership and started working out, my husband sugested I take a drug to speed things up. I took ephedra for a week then tossed it, the jittery feelings and insomnia was too much for me. He then told me about his use of steroids and how it helped him and the others (his marine friends). He sugested i buy some and try it, i would turn my fat to muscle and become thin and beautiful. Tell a fat 20 year old all her problems can be solved with a needle and shell try anything.

I purchased injectables, 250mg/ml Testosterone Cyponate. He said it was the most potent and i should take it.

For about 6-8 weeks, each sunday i would inject one amp into my buttock. I would go to the gym 4 days a week, each day doing a full rotation. Yes, i didnt know how to work out properly or what i was doing. All i knew was i needed to work out. I loved my feeling on test, i had a sex drive that was though the roof! I had energy and felt good about myself. I also had an appitite. Not knowing how to eat well, just that i had to eat i chowed down. Gained quite a bit of weight bt just kept telling myself muscle weighs more then fat.

On the 7th week it happened. I looked in the mirror and saw i had facial hair much darker then before. My voice that was cracking, i thought was a cold was really me 'hitting puberty'. My clit was large but i loved it, and my hubby didnt care. I had also gained alot of weight, and missed my peroid. I freaked out and said i was all done, my hubby pushed me to keep on taking roids. Finaly i tossed the left over amps and needles.

Since then it has been 3 years. My voice is back to normal, my face is hair free. My face has a pudgy look to it that i think will never go away. And in 3 years i have had my peroid 2 times. I have no insurance to see a doctor, and even then im afraid i will be arrested or something bad will happen to me. Because i already have a child im not worried about being sterile.

Im done being depressed, i want to be happy again. I bought a gym membership and am going to start working out. After reading the boards i know how to work out well but i had a few questions about my body now.

Will my body produce natrual testostrone so i can work out well, or have i killed it? Or will i actualy produce more. If ever i took something like Wins or a female roid would i get the 'change' faster then the normal person, or am i immune to it?

Please help, it was my ignorance that got me into this situation, please help me get myself out.

Thank you
~S

I agree with Beast and Nark here...please stay away from all male hormones.

But the MAIN problem as I see it is bolded above, this in conjunction with the still swollen face (possibly glands) indicates that your recovery was incomplete.

You need to, insurance or not, see a doctor as soon as possible. Because of the comprehensiveness of testing, he/she will not need to know your story should you decide to keep quiet. But they and/or the authorities will not be able to prosecute you for this youthful past infraction should you disclose it.

Legal issues aside, your need for hormone replacement therapy is great, and should be professionally evaluated and implemented.

M.

[Schmidty]

I coukld be wrong but i think a women can use 4ad with few problems but look into it first because im not 100%on that

[ecivon]

Being afraid is adding to your concerns and certainly causing you a lot of extra stress. Just calm yourself a bit and you'll be okay. One issue I think you need to do is to find some way to get a medical evaluation and have your labs checked. I wouldn't admit doing any drugs in the beginning, just tell them that you aren't feeling quite right, that you think your hormones are messed up and you want labs done. Based on your labs they'll be able to see if something isn't quite right and there may be something they can offer that will correct any potential problem, if there is one beyond any transient, or temporary, imbalance.

Secondly, at least until you do some extensive research, stay away from all compounds and work out with weights, keep a good diet and do lots of cardio work. Your bod will look great, you'll feel great about yourself and you'll be in great condition. Good luck to you and don't be afraid.

[hugovsilva]

"Women roids" - Deca, Equipoise, Winstrol and Anavar.

All with the potential for virylising sides.

[BigLittleTim]

Dear S.

First of all; congradulations on seeking help from the forums on this board.

Don't continue to beat yourself up about doing what was a very mild, very short, very badly planned cycle of steroids a long time ago. Everyone on here probably made the exact same mistakes with their first cycles, so you're in good company.

You're a very young women (23 is still a "girl" in my book ) and your body will respond beautifully to a smart diet and work-out routine. Don't even think about anabolic supplements for the next few years.

However, having an infrequent period, such as you describe, is a legitimate reason to see a doctor, regardless of what "caused" it. Even without insurance, seeing a medical professional should be your top priority. Estrogen, testosterone, and anti-estrogens don't only cause changes in the way your muscles look; they have a strong bearing on your risk to develop Breast Cancer, Cervical Cancer, and other so-called "Female Troubles". It isn't right for an healthy woman of your age to stop menstruating. Go see a good doctor. Do it for the health and long-life of your child's mother. There are much more important factors in effect here than just looking good.

Not to parrot, but you definitely also need to register for the Women's Only forum. It's the place where you can get advice from dozens (hundreds?) of athletic women who have first-hand empirical experience that no male bodybuilder could even begin to relate.

I wish you the best of luck!

-BigLittleTim

[RA]

I agree with Beast and Nark here...please stay away from all male hormones.

But the MAIN problem as I see it is bolded above, this in conjunction with the still swollen face (possibly glands) indicates that your recovery was incomplete.

You need to, insurance or not, see a doctor as soon as possible. Because of the comprehensiveness of testing, he/she will not need to know your story should you decide to keep quiet. But they and/or the authorities will not be able to prosecute you for this youthful past infraction should you disclose it.

Legal issues aside, your need for hormone replacement therapy is great, and should be professionally evaluated and implemented.

M.

Right. Dont worry about telling a doc.

[perfectbeast2001]

^^This is a great post. Beast you must've been posting the same time i was writing up mine

Why does no one else read the question thoroughly?

-N

Great minds think alike!

[ecivon]

Bottom line is you need to have lab work done and evaluated by a doctor. You could simply go to an emergency room and tell them you haven't been feeling well, that you don't have a doctor/insurance and think your hormones are messed up and you've missed some periods. Every city in the US provides emergency services for people like yourself. They'll do the lab work and tell you if there is anything unusual and whether you need to see a specialist/gyno. I would not admit to using any illegal compound. If they ask just tell them that you bought a bunch of different otc supplements and don't remember what, or where. Where I live -- Seattle -- there is no such thing as doctor/patient confidentiality as far as the authorities go. If a doctor thinks illegal drugs are involved, even AAS, and kids are in the household, they are required by law to report it to Child Protective Services/DSHS and they very well could knock on your door with the sheriff and a warrant. Female hormones are always jumping around unexplained and could be explained in any number of ways. Women who exercise naturally, run, play sports, do any number of activities can experience any number of symptoms such as you experienced. Be discreet. As long as you've waited you don't have any illegal compounds that will show up in any lab work anyway -- you just need to be evaluated to see what else is going on, which may be temporary, or easily fixable by RX.

[SS1476]

Dear S.

First of all; congradulations on seeking help from the forums on this board.

Don't continue to beat yourself up about doing what was a very mild, very short, very badly planned cycle of steroids a long time ago. Everyone on here probably made the exact same mistakes with their first cycles, so you're in good company.

You're a very young women (23 is still a "girl" in my book ) and your body will respond beautifully to a smart diet and work-out routine. Don't even think about anabolic supplements for the next few years.

However, having an infrequent period, such as you describe, is a legitimate reason to see a doctor, regardless of what "caused" it. Even without insurance, seeing a medical professional should be your top priority. Estrogen, testosterone, and anti-estrogens don't only cause changes in the way your muscles look; they have a strong bearing on your risk to develop Breast Cancer, Cervical Cancer, and other so-called "Female Troubles". It isn't right for an healthy woman of your age to stop menstruating. Go see a good doctor. Do it for the health and long-life of your child's mother. There are much more important factors in effect here than just looking good.

Not to parrot, but you definitely also need to register for the Women's Only forum. It's the place where you can get advice from dozens (hundreds?) of athletic women who have first-hand empirical experience that no male bodybuilder could even begin to relate.

I wish you the best of luck!

-BigLittleTim

Well said.

Best of luck to S

[test-e-junky]

Awful story, Your husband should be smacked hard. I wuld not do any steroid if i was you ,I would go to the clinic and they may have to put you on some estrogen replacement. Only having 2 periods in three years is alarming. Try and find a free clinic in your area.

[Mistakes]

Thank you all for the help. I found a thing on the internet, Direct labs im thinking of ordering a lab test then after i can save to have a doctor read it for me and tell me what is wrong.

Malth my clit did return to normal, it maybe a little larger then before i ever touched steroids but when it was large it wasnt huge, just notticably larger.

I do not plan to take steroids again, I had considered it before i read the info on this site and message board. i was still under the impression that they were a cure all merical like i had heard, plus watching tv all the men and woman that take steroids are attractive so one who is not informed would come to the wrong conclusion about them.

Also when i was on the Cyponate i loved the feeling and the sex drive. Now that im off i have gotten over my little bout of depression but my drive is still in the hole, it may have been that way before but after 2 months of getting it every day, and now going to never getting 'excited' or wanting it i thought maybe a result of the steroid. When i do see a doctor and get lab work done if it is a problem with my hormones i am sure they will find it. But at age 23 and to never crave sex, or when seeing an attractive person walk past and not having the feeling sucks excise my language.

Why i am scared about telling a professional about the drug is i have a child, and i dont want them to turn me into authoritys and i get introuble. If the lab work comes back extream then i will say something, but if i have read right, i should be 'recovered' or close to it, and if there is any changes still it would be minimal?

Thank you all for being so kind and helpful, it has made me feel better about things, and even though i plan to NOT do anything like this again i look foward to any advice i can get about training and how to get my old body back.

[Maldorf]

Thank you all for the help. I found a thing on the internet, Direct labs im thinking of ordering a lab test then after i can save to have a doctor read it for me and tell me what is wrong.

Malth my clit did return to normal, it maybe a little larger then before i ever touched steroids but when it was large it wasnt huge, just notticably larger.

I do not plan to take steroids again, I had considered it before i read the info on this site and message board. i was still under the impression that they were a cure all merical like i had heard, plus watching tv all the men and woman that take steroids are attractive so one who is not informed would come to the wrong conclusion about them.

Also when i was on the Cyponate i loved the feeling and the sex drive. Now that im off i have gotten over my little bout of depression but my drive is still in the hole, it may have been that way before but after 2 months of getting it every day, and now going to never getting 'excited' or wanting it i thought maybe a result of the steroid. When i do see a doctor and get lab work done if it is a problem with my hormones i am sure they will find it. But at age 23 and to never crave sex, or when seeing an attractive person walk past and not having the feeling sucks excise my language.

Why i am scared about telling a professional about the drug is i have a child, and i dont want them to turn me into authoritys and i get introuble. If the lab work comes back extream then i will say something, but if i have read right, i should be 'recovered' or close to it, and if there is any changes still it would be minimal?

Thank you all for being so kind and helpful, it has made me feel better about things, and even though i plan to NOT do anything like this again i look foward to any advice i can get about training and how to get my old body back.

You should be safe telling your doctor about your use, but I wouldnt really risk it since its been so long since you used and its not really necessary to tell them. I told my doc when I had a health issue, and all I got was the talk about how bad AAS are and not to use them blah blah blah. Now everytime I see him he asks when the last time I used steroids was, and I just say not too long ago!

[uponone23]

oh, well that shows my ignorance! I though maybe they would take some kind of testosterone suppresant or estrogen booster post-cycle

Yeah dude i'm not flaming you but if a female took 50 - 100mg of clomid a day she would get pregnant with septuplets or something... and females already got the worse case of gyno I have ever seen.

Seriously though everyone makes mistakes. Forget anyone's advice for now. Other than visiting a Dr. and being HONEST about whats going on first and formost. They will most likely give you a full blood work up and they will know far more about whats going on than any of us could ever hope to. They are not going to call the police or put you down. They deal with way worse problems than you can imagine.

Once that's done visit the womens forums here... There are tons of women here with years of experience in fitness training. I am not a big believer in womens use of anabolic compounds unless they are very serious about fitness training or bodybuilding and are completely aware of the risk they are taking.

Good luck with your problem the human body has an amazing ability to heal itself just remember that. Oh and kick your husband in the shin for letting you jump into something this serious without the proper research.

[neverenuff21]

Sorry to hear that. You most likely didnt do any permanent damage. GO TO THE DOCTOR.
ahem...sorry, was I yelling?