I need to joke around a little bit -- don't give a rats if I get flamed. How many different ways do we need to say 'masturbate'? Jacking-off, jerking-off, beatin-the-meat, choking the chicken, spanking your monkey, walking the dog, unpacking your bags, any others??
How many have been caught in the act by a parent, or other relative? You know the old warnings: you'll grow hair on your palms, or, you'll go blind Johnny!!!