Androgens and becoming a dick head more like it. Since adding masterone prop to my test prop I've noticed a change in my personality. Among other things, for example, the front page of newsday (LI, NY) was a story about how a dead man was found shot to death on his front lawn with his child asleep on his chest. That's sad and usually I'd get moist eyed but I felt nothing but the abstract thought, "that's sad."
I also feel more self-centered, focused, horny....hard on as hard as a nail and supreme confidence. In the gym, I'm generally asocial (as opposed to anti-social) and there it's especially all about me and my training. I feel aggressive and irritable and prone to sudden moments of profound impatience when someone is in my way (than I have to resort to civilized thinking - other members have the right to use the equiptment even if they are doing presses while pretending to do cable cross overs).
My asocial behavior is generating animosity from this one attractive latina who's a sale-rep at Ballys and she, in turn, seems preoccupied with undermining me with the other staff members who fall in line into the status-quo like sheep. All based on hearsay. I guess she's not used to being ignored or maybe I'm putting on a non-verbal arrogant air. I feel indifferent to it and continue to be air-tight non-responsive as if she doesn't exist. After the fact, it occurred to me that I'm actually playing a game and it's almost like an experiment in sociology - it explores the question "what happens when an introvert enters the extraverted gym and trains for hours like an animal. ANswer: misinterpretations and resentment.
In a less trivial sphere, my girlfriend has been moody lately and she gets upset at the drop of a pin - probably due to the stress of a major life adjusment. She's moving away from her close-knit family and in with me (oh oh). Although I act empathetic and nice I feel indifferent to her moodiness. Last night she continuously cut me off and I snapped (inwardly). Outwardly, I politely told her that we need to take turns if we want to communicate. Yet I could feel my chest rising and falling as if in a "fight or flight" response. I chose flight. Then she says, ok then, say something. I told her, "I'm a bit upset and I forgot what I was going to say." I'm tired and I have to get up early.
Although I feel like more of a dick lately, I've never felt better. Thank you masterone! I wonder what it will be like when I add tren ace to the mix.
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by muscle_20
