I think my girl might have scammed me

[J-Dogg]

We have a joint checking that house payments come out of, she handles the bills out of that account. It's a pain in the ass setup with that account, a lot of money going in, a lot of it going out. She has never been very good at keeping track of things, following a budget, keeping a ledger she is just really bad with money.

I have 2 other accounts I have to keep track of and I gave her the responsiblity of that account so she could have some responsiblity and honestly my time is always limited.

I have to take back over the account now because she is moving for school. The account should have a few thousand in it. She is all worried about money for school because she only has 700 to live off a month. Instead of the account having 2k in it. I paid all the bills (about 1k) and all the mortgages (2k) out of one of my other accounts and I have $68 in the account she was handling.

I'm really fusterated but I don't want to fight because she is moving tomorrow. I own a roofing company and do a lot of the work myself. She has not worked in 6 months. It just bothers me that I'm hauling 90lb bundles of shingles 2 stories up on a roof, worked 15 hour days for most of the summer not to mention deal with the stress of being your own boss...keeping work lined up, figuring out how much you need to save to make it though the winter.

I don't know for sure, what's going on. I do know somthing is wrong with that account and I can't trace it back far enough. Word of advice though, trust no one when it comes to money!

[WEBB]

get an account statement for the account for the last few months and see where it all went....

[BITTAPART2]

get an account statement for the account for the last few months and see where it all went....

there you go.

[PEWN]

webb your soooo smart ....

[dedic8ed1]

get an account statement for the account for the last few months and see where it all went....

Bingo!!!!!!!

[dedic8ed1]

It's a tough situation running a buisness and trying to be available to your woman,your not alone.So if your not there she'll find something to do like go out and waist money on nothing but to take up time in her day.

Here's my thought's on money and people in buisness.

It ain't show friends it's show buisness and that's about as simple as you can make it for yourself to cover your a s s.Make time to handle your finiances it's your company so take 100%control of it.I know what your saying also about saving money for when you don't have work because I did my own concrete for a little bit and it was pretty tough to budget enough to live on in the winter when there's no work,it'll drive ya nuts.

[J-Dogg]

get an account statement for the account for the last few months and see where it all went....

I understand that is the first question people would ask. I have a degree in accounting but that does not matter in this instance as there is no real data to work with.

I've looked though the statments I have filled, and everything looks normal. She probably would not just withdraw 2k. She lends money to her mom from time to time, her mom repays her, she probably just keeps the money in her account. I have rental properities as well and that keeps a ton of money flowing in and out.

Because she does not keep a ledger, I cannot track how much was going out, and how much was going in. It's a high volume account and if I paid a few bucks to get copies of every check in question, I would be paying a substantial amount of money.

I guess I'm probably 80% sure she has taken a good amount of money. From the only carbon copy book of checks I have there is about $800 of money spent at Meijer, Deb, Tanning, ect.

I've thought for the last few months, we won't make it anyway. She is moving for 9 months and our relationship has never been real strong anyway. I don't want to accuse really because I'd rather honestly pay a little money to just end it peacefully.

Now the other problem is, she is taking my SUV to school. So I'll probably end up having to send the repo man down to get that.

How can someone who works so hard and has everything together let a woman screw things up so fast

[scottish]

Your letting her take our SUV? Are you kidding me? Start thinking with your head and not your pecker.. Time to take back control

[tommik]

when i was younger my mum used to steal money from my dad to help me get out of trouble i was in.... do you have children?

[Diamonite]

We have a joint checking that house payments come out of, she handles the bills out of that account. It's a pain in the ass setup with that account, a lot of money going in, a lot of it going out. She has never been very good at keeping track of things, following a budget, keeping a ledger she is just really bad with money.

I have 2 other accounts I have to keep track of and I gave her the responsiblity of that account so she could have some responsiblity and honestly my time is always limited.

I have to take back over the account now because she is moving for school. The account should have a few thousand in it. She is all worried about money for school because she only has 700 to live off a month. Instead of the account having 2k in it. I paid all the bills (about 1k) and all the mortgages (2k) out of one of my other accounts and I have $68 in the account she was handling.

I'm really fusterated but I don't want to fight because she is moving tomorrow. I own a roofing company and do a lot of the work myself. She has not worked in 6 months. It just bothers me that I'm hauling 90lb bundles of shingles 2 stories up on a roof, worked 15 hour days for most of the summer not to mention deal with the stress of being your own boss...keeping work lined up, figuring out how much you need to save to make it though the winter.

I don't know for sure, what's going on. I do know somthing is wrong with that account and I can't trace it back far enough. Word of advice though, trust no one when it comes to money!

sucks to hear that bro. i only read the first post but something might be up. and now is a better time then ever to figure it out.

[J-Dogg]

No kids, she is my GF of 5 years.

I've looked into it, but like I said, it's hard to tell with the volume coming in and out of that account. Obviously though if I have this much concern, I can't trust her. If I feel I can't trust her then there must be a reason...even if I can't pin point it.

I guess she is moving so it's pretty much over. What's done is done and I am just going to take the time to put things together properly and chaulk this one up as a lesson learned.

As far as the SUV, at some point I might have to go down and get it. It won't be a problem to do so, but despite all the things, I know her family and if things have to end, i want it to be on good terms.

I also have not been thinking with my dick at all. I've been on Letro for the past month so sex at this point does not matter. To be honest, of all the benifits of Letro, the lack of drive seems to be my favorite!

[Dukkit]

A wise man once said..."money and women are the root of all evil."

[spywizard]

well, let it go.. what's $2000??

and young people will work for cheap.. even hauling 90lb bundles..

The point is if she did take $2000 it's cheaper than having your car repainted because she keyed it..

[canadian meat]

She dosent happen to have a twin sister dose she?

[roodogg]

I had a similar situation my wife was in charge of the books. I didn't want to deal. Things didn't add up and I caught her giving money to family and friends. When I poked around I found out that she had spent $75,000 that can't be accounted for. She is now on a $300 a week allowance and has access to nothing. That 300 goes to feeding the kids etc. she gets nodda for herself

[RANA]

How long did you live with her? Hopefully she is not a common-law-wife, if she is she could go after you financially. The shit happened to my friend, he lived with this chick for 3 years she left him and took him to court for half his shit and they where not even married.
Be happy she only got 2k from you.

[pumpd4lif]

u will never know the truth and it is more then likely to much money to keep track of all u can look for is small withrdaws .and unless u plan on breaking it off with her i wouldnt even mention it because she is just going to get defensive bro. But if u would like to know a few ways to catch her just hit me up on exfire cause i am the champion lie detector

[J-Dogg]

Dedci, was your mom always the one to handle the bills growing up? Mine was and now I just assume all girls are responsible, organized and are on top of things like my Mom was, or I expect it anyway. My girl also spends a lot of my money on her family whether that be lending it, and never collecting, taking them out to eat or clothes shopping. I never really cared when she was working, even if she spent more than she made.

I'm not really concerned about the 2k either, I take that back I am. I do alright, but I don't like to give away 2k, even more so, when I don't know I am giving it. I've already supported her completely for the past 6 months. She drives my SUV, I pay for the gas, insurance, food, houses, everything. I guess I'm not happy with it, but I can accept the 2k hit to start over.

and Pumpd, your right, you cannot reason with this girl. She is probably the most defensive person I know.

[pumpd4lif]

Dedci, was your mom always the one to handle the bills growing up? Mine was and now I just assume all girls are responsible, organized and are on top of things like my Mom was, or I expect it anyway. My girl also spends a lot of my money on her family whether that be lending it, and never collecting, taking them out to eat or clothes shopping. I never really cared when she was working, even if she spent more than she made.

I'm not really concerned about the 2k either, I take that back I am. I do alright, but I don't like to give away 2k, even more so, when I don't know I am giving it. I've already supported her completely for the past 6 months. She drives my SUV, I pay for the gas, insurance, food, houses, everything. I guess I'm not happy with it, but I can accept the 2k hit to start over.

and Pumpd, your right, you cannot reason with this girl. She is probably the most defensive person I know.

there u go that is a pure admission of guilt in my book tell her u have to seperate the bank accounts for tax reasons for ur company and there is no way around it so she is going to have to ask u when she needs something.sounds like she is taking things for granite bro.Switch accounts an tell her if u dont then she will be responsible by law for half of ur owed taxes and there is know way around it.if she argues that means she is worried about losing the free money if she cares about u and ur well being she will simply give an ok.and i wouldnt even mention the 2000$ cause she has already proven guilty rest assured!

[J-Dogg]

She is moving anyway, and I'm already in control of the account again. It actually has money in it now. As soon as she moves (tonight) i'm just going to remove her name from the account.

[pumpd4lif]

She is moving anyway, and I'm already in control of the account again. It actually has money in it now. As soon as she moves (tonight) i'm just going to remove her name from the account.

she has to sign in order for u to do that bro.u should just open another account and transfer funds.

[Igifuno]

well you don't think she's stiffing you, do you?

[DSM4Life]

We have a joint checking that house payments come out of, she handles the bills out of that account. It's a pain in the ass setup with that account, a lot of money going in, a lot of it going out. She has never been very good at keeping track of things, following a budget, keeping a ledger she is just really bad with money.

I have 2 other accounts I have to keep track of and I gave her the responsiblity of that account so she could have some responsiblity and honestly my time is always limited.

I have to take back over the account now because she is moving for school. The account should have a few thousand in it. She is all worried about money for school because she only has 700 to live off a month. Instead of the account having 2k in it. I paid all the bills (about 1k) and all the mortgages (2k) out of one of my other accounts and I have $68 in the account she was handling.

I'm really fusterated but I don't want to fight because she is moving tomorrow. I own a roofing company and do a lot of the work myself. She has not worked in 6 months. It just bothers me that I'm hauling 90lb bundles of shingles 2 stories up on a roof, worked 15 hour days for most of the summer not to mention deal with the stress of being your own boss...keeping work lined up, figuring out how much you need to save to make it though the winter.

I don't know for sure, what's going on. I do know somthing is wrong with that account and I can't trace it back far enough. Word of advice though, trust no one when it comes to money!

I stopped reading right there. If you have a joint account and are not married or havent been married for at least 10+ yrs then your....how can i put this lightly ? Unintelligent .

You open up too many bad doors legally with this one.

[football2007]

Why did you post this if you have no intention of doing anything?

People are offering you good solutions...yet it seems like you want to take it as a loss and keep getting bitched around??

[J-Dogg]

That's probably it, I'm unintelligent.

DSM Maybe overly trust worthy would be a better word bro? You know nothing about me. She cannot write checks out of an account if her name is not added to it. How can she do the books, pay the bills if she does not have access to the account? In business at some point as you grow, eventually you have to trust someone. I've yet to see a business that at some point does NOT have someone embezzle money from the operation.
Her name is simply added to the account; it is not a joint account, that was my fault in the original post. I can remove her name with a phone call. I had the account for years prior to knowing her.
Football, I was never asking for advice, I was simply venting. Most of the advice was not to beat her up and take 2k out of her ass anyway. It was to cut losses and run.

[DSM4Life]

That's probably it, I'm unintelligent.

DSM Maybe overly trust worthy would be a better word bro? You know nothing about me. She cannot write checks out of an account if her name is not added to it. How can she do the books, pay the bills if she does not have access to the account? In business at some point as you grow, eventually you have to trust someone. I've yet to see a business that at some point does NOT have someone embezzle money from the operation.
Her name is simply added to the account; it is not a joint account, that was my fault in the original post. I can remove her name with a phone call. I had the account for years prior to knowing her.
Football, I was never asking for advice, I was simply venting. Most of the advice was not to beat her up and take 2k out of her ass anyway. It was to cut losses and run.

Your right I don't know you. Maybe unintelligent should be replaced with lazy? I don't even want to ask you how long you been with this girl because i am scared of the answer. I don't know if anyone has read between the lines but you call her your "girl" and not your "wife" which means she shouldn't be touching your finances in the first place. Take responsibility for yourself and pay your own bills.

I hope it works out for you in the end. If anything take the positives from this experience and never have a joint account of ANY kind with ANYONE.

[J-Dogg]

The account is for investment properties, it's not a matter of paying my bills or me being lazy, it's a matter of time and trust. I can garantee the amount of people on this board that work harder than me are fewer than you have fingers. I started with absolutly nothing, kicked out at 16 in and jail by 17 and in 10 years have managed to buy 5 homes and operate a nice profitable construction company. I did not get to where I am by my parents leaving me with anything either. I worked cooking in a restaraunt to save 20% of my downpayment living on a strick budget.

If that sounds like a lazy & unintelligent person, guilty as charged.


5 years.

and again, like I said eventually in business...you have to have someone on your accounts. Wheather that be your wife, accountant, secretary, office manager or kid eventually you expand to the point that one person cannot do all the work, paper work, advertising, payroll, and the other countless task associated with this type of work.