AR's Cunning Linguist
President Arnold Schwarzenegger's 1st Press Conference
My colleague and I were sitting around Friday afternoon discussing bodybuilding, steroids, etc., and for some reason we got on the topic of Arnold as President of the U.S.
Think of a typical question asked to a politician at a press conference and use a famous Arnold movie line to answer it.
AR's Cunning Linguist
Q: Excuse me, Mr. President. What is your policy on illegal immigration?
A: Get out.
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Q: Mr. President, NASA has had limited success in the past few years. What message do you have for the scientists and people at NASA?
A: Get your ass to Mars.
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Q: Uh, excuse me Mr. President, but I don't think you can smoke cigars during a press conference.
A: Wrong!
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Q: Next question, Mr. President. Yesterday you met with the Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. What did you say to him?
A: You son of a bitch!
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Q: Mr. President, Senator Clinton referred to you as a steroid-abusing, cro-magnon Republican. How do you respond?
A: You're one ugly motherfvcker.
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Q: President Schwarzenegger, what's your idea on foreign policy?
A: Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women.
Giggity Giggity Giggty!
Q:Mr. President, have you ever killed anyone?
A: Yeah, but they were all bad.
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Q: Mr. President, recently there have been some complaints from your secretaries about your fondness for groping. How do you respond?
A: I'm just doing my job.
Giggity Giggity Giggty!
Q: Mr. President, what is that thing growing on your neck?
A: It's not a tumah!
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Q: Excuse me, Mr. President. Congresswoman Pelosi said you were a dumb Neanderthal. What would you say to the Speaker of the House?
A: You're a psychopathic bitch.
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Q: President Schwarzenegger, how come you don't have a Vice President?
A: I work alone.
Anabolic Member
Originally Posted by StoneGRMI
True Lies!
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Q: Mr. President, you've stated that you intend to balance the budget and turn the federal deficit into a federal surplus.
A: That's one of my mission parameters.
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Q: President Schwarzenegger, members of the diplomatic corps are refusing certain overseas posts. What do you say to these diplomats?
A: You lack discipline!
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Q: Mr. President, your Russian counterpart, President Putin is set to visit the White House next week. What do you intend to say to him?
A: Chill out, dickwad.
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Q: Mr. President, how did you manage to learn so much about bodybuilding, business, acting, politics, and acquire the English language at the same time?
A: My CPU is a neural net processor. A learning computer.
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Q: Mr. President, what do you have to say to Mr. Ventura, your Secretary of State, regarding the situation in Iraq?
A: Find me a way out of this hole.
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Q: President Schwarzenegger, the president of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, has stated that he intends to stop exporting oil to the U.S. How do you respond?
A: Fvck you, asshole.
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(A really hot reporter stands up to ask a question.)
Q: Mr. President...
A: Hello, cutie pie.
Q: I, uh...
A: You know you're the girl of my dreams.
(She sits back down, seriously confused.)
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Q: Mr. President, what do you say to your intelligence chief, Mr. Porter Goss?
A: What's the matter. CIA got you pushing too many pencils?
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Q: Mr. President, about your admitted steroid usage during your...
A: (Suddenly interrupts) Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!!!
(This was from when he challenged the Predator.)
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Q: Mr. President, Osama Bin Laden and members of Al Qaeda remain at large somewhere in the tribal region border between Afghanistan and Pakistan. How do you intend to deal with them?
A: If it bleeds, we can kill it.
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Q: President Schwarzenegger, Senator Bob Bennett of Utah has been quoted as saying he wouldn't mind hanging out for a weekend at Camp David with you. Any thoughts on this?
A: Come on Bennett. Let's party.
Senior Member
ha funny stuff
Retired: AR-Hall of Famer
best thread ever
Giggity Giggity Giggty!
Q: Mr. President, who do you really think you are?
A: I'm the party pooper
Test Is Best!
holy shit! u filled almost a whole page by urself
~AR-Elite-Hall of Famer~
Its funny cause I can hear arnolds voice in my head as I read the reply's. LOL
Veritas, Aequitas ~
haha, same.
reminds me of those arnold prank calls. classic.
Ron Paul Nuthugger
LOL! Shit, I was actually saying some of them outloud.
***No source checks!!!***
Snook~ AR Lounge Monitor
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Q: Excuse me, Mr. President. What's your take on Roger Clemens vociferous denial of steroid usage?
A: Stop whining!
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Q: And what about Barry Bonds denial of steroid usage?
A: Come on, don't bullshit me.
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Q: President Schwarzenegger, what did you tell Maria after you won the election?
A: Who is your daddy and what does he do?
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Q: Mr. President, what do you say to those U.S. citizens who didn't vote for you and are skeptical of your presidency?
A: Trust me!
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Q: Excuse me, Mr. President. CNN has reported that despite the U.S. military and DEA presence in Afghanistan, farmers loyal to the Taliban and Al Qaeda have managed to set up an extensive poppy cultivation and worldwide heroin distribution network to acquire funds necessary to battle U.S. troops in the region. Your response?
A: That's pretty sophisticated for a bunch of half-assed mountain boys.
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Q: Mr. President, the military is set to introduce a replacement for the current Colt M4 carbine. What is it called?
A: Phased plasma rifle in a 40 watt range.
ANALbolically inclined "Protein user"
Funny post
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Q: President Schwarzenegger, former President Clinton's secret service codename was "Elvis" and George W. Bush's codename was "Trailblazer". What codename will the secret service use to refer to you?
A: Arnold Brownschweiger
Q: Uh, that's not very good.
A: Uncle Bob?
Q: Come on, you can do better than that.
A: SHUUUUUT UUUUUUPPP! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
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