Rotten gym music- stopped! A true tale of gym justice.
Brothers...
Lately, my new gym has been playing awful music- 'techno' pop crap that is nothing less than noise pollution, and other rock music that reminds me of the on-going decline of western culture that began 80 years ago.
The other day, I had to suffer through the horrible music of the punk working behind the counter. I had forgotten to bring my own CDs and tapes which I would have demanded his skinny arse play. He ended his shift and left, and a new desk-jockey appeared- none other than 'JP' himself! When not running a website known as 'Anabolex', he is now desk/towel-boy at my current gym.
Nobby and I were doing some HIT fingers work, screaming with effort, when suddenly I dropped the barbell with 225 I was finger curling, and both Nobby and I stiffened up in revulsion- JP was playing 'The 'Village People'!. The song 'Macho Man' blared over the loudspeakers as towel-boy JP stood behind the counter, swaying his body in sinc with the horrible music. That was it. We marched over to the front desk, and informed JP that that particular music had to go!
He snarled at us, and said "Well, then, I have something I am SURE you will love!". We returned to our workout, and as I was reverse-curling 185 pounds, JP's 'choice' of music blared over the loudspeakers...it was the song 'Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?' by Boy George and the Culture Club. I dropped the weight to the ground immediately. Nobby's face took on a look of utter annoyance, and he turned slowly and glared at JP. JP, knowing that we were both annoyed, looked at us and winked, pointing both fingers at us. "Nobby, JP seems to think we like this poofter crap...he must think we like Boy George...he thinks you are a big poofter, Nobby!" I cried. "Did you see the way he looked at you? Indeed, Nobby, JP thinks YOU ARE A HOMOSEXUAL!!" I roared.
Nobby's face contorted in rage, and took on a strange hue of purple. He stood there, shaking, biting his lip so hard that a trickle of blood ran down his chin, then, screaming "YA FOOKIN BASTAAAHHHDD!!!" picked up a 95 pound dumbell and, with the might of Zeus hurling a lightning bolt from atop Mount Olympus, hurled it towards the front desk 50 feet away. JP saw it coming and dived for cover in the nick of time, narrowly escaping decapitation by the flying dumbell, and it struck the gym stereo system with a loud crash followed by a small explosion as the tape deck, cd, receiver, shelf and part of the wall behind them were obliterated. When the smoke cleared, nothing was left of the audio system- it was smashed to bits! JP, whimpering in fear, fled from the gym. Nobby and I continued our workout in peace and quiet, free from the sounds of moral corruption!
Whatever happened to the sound of silence in the gym, interrupted only by the he-man clanging of plates and barbells, and the screams of intensity of the hard-core fellows training there?
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2 thumbs up, but
Originally Posted by Nicky B
