WHY do women always have to change things when they move in?

[Bojangles69]

I've delt with this before but was also able to control it differently because it was my place.
Well my brother sgf of 8 years is moving in next August. And rather then explaining the situation I'll give you a brief example so you get a better idea:

I come home a few days ago from picking my dog up from the hospital
She had just got her eye removed (for anyone who read the thread I posted about it)

Walk in the door, she's sitting on the couch, all comfortable.
The second I come in I go to the vhs/dvd burner cause my mothers birthday is the next day, and I have limited time to get old video highlights on dvd for her b-day.

I TELL HER THIS FACT of what I'm doing.

She's starts going on and on and on about all the things she wants to do.
Repaint the kitchen, move furniture here and there, get a wall here etc etc.

I'm not listening because I don't have time at the moment.
She keeps going with her mouth.

I say "look, I just got home, I don't give a horses ass what you want to change, as long as you realize you won't have help from me, you're not moving in till next aug, so please.. just leave me alone"

She goes to my brother talking all this crap about how I'm an asshole.
Long story short, I go up there, (upstairs where they're talking)
And say this is not gonna work.
She hasn't even moved in yet and I can't deal with her.

.....
I start looking for other places.


I never had a sister type of figure.
And what I mean by that is I never had a female I could argue with, who still had a reason to be in the house the next day.
This is different, and I don't like it lol.

How many people have sisters in here? And how hard are the really crazy ones to live with?
Just a bit confused as to what is gonna happen with this situation.

[Kratos]

I have two sisters, they were total bitches growing up, but they're cool now. Are you spliting rent with your brother?

[Bojangles69]

Yeh, but she makes more then both of us as of now, so its a weird situation.

[Kratos]

Yeh, but she makes more then both of us as of now, so its a weird situation.

I don't think it matters how much she makes as long as you are kicking in your share. She's gonna want her own place with your brother soon enough if things are working out...I mean that's a year away, most girls are expecting a rock on their finger after two years. Why is the move in date so far away?

[Bojangles69]

I don't think it matters how much she makes as long as you are kicking in your share. She's gonna want her own place with your brother soon enough if things are working out...I mean that's a year away, most girls are expecting a rock on their finger after two years. Why is the move in date so far away?

You sniffed out a detail that has a lot to do with this problem.
The fact that these 2 (my brother and his gf) mix like oil & vinegar.


Plus next Aug is when she has to find a new place. I think shes tired of finding new roommates (because shes not easy to live with) and the somehow brainwashed him into thinking this is finally the right decision.

They both have real aggressive "i am the leader" type personalities. And even though I think they won't last when they move in together, I think there's a better chance they'll stay married for the next 50 years hating each other.

[Kratos]

Well, she's gonna wanna change things around the house. Women need to be master of their enviroment...it's part of the whole nesting thing. If you're gonna stay there I'd just make sure I had a TV and computer in the bedroom. Don't show any intrest or kick in money for changes to the place even if it's something you want too. Just keep living like she's not there and see how it works. I always have got along well with roomate's and friend's gf's so that's what I would do.

[Bojangles69]

Well, she's gonna wanna change things around the house. Women need to be master of their enviroment...it's part of the whole nesting thing. If you're gonna stay there I'd just make sure I had a TV and computer in the bedroom. Don't show any intrest or kick in money for changes to the place even if it's something you want too. Just keep living like she's not there and see how it works. I always have got along well with roomate's and friend's gf's so that's what I would do.

Yah, I can totally relate to the whole nesting ritual shit.

I think shes doing it just to accrue some new territory, like this is what I made, this is where all my young will live, I wanna make sure all the colors match so my children don't grow up retarded.


I'm gonna just hang out and not pay any attention to her.
If she wants to go crazy redecorating stuff she'll be doing it herself, but if she takes a step near my room shes going out the window.

[GT2]

Yeah I got two sisters. One of them is cool we get along well, but my older one I just want to kill

[gst528i]

Yeah I got two sisters. One of them is cool we get along well, but my older one I just want to kill

Haha same as me.
I have an older one that i have slapped once, she hit my mom so i slapped her .....and the younger one cool as a cucumber..... we go way back to plotting evil tricks against the older sis.

Anyway yea that's pretty much how it goes when living with someone's girl. My best friend keeps telling me how cool it would be for me him and his gurl to move into a nice house. I think it would be hell on earth.

[bigt10]

sorry i dont get it is your sister or your brothers GF.

If its the bros GF i would tell her to take a hike or pay 33 % of the rent if she wants to move in.

Just make sure you dont put up with it. She sounds like the type your nice a few times and shell keep pushing it. Be firm.

[Bojangles69]

sorry i dont get it is your sister or your brothers GF.

If its the bros GF i would tell her to take a hike or pay 33 % of the rent if she wants to move in.

Just make sure you dont put up with it. She sounds like the type your nice a few times and shell keep pushing it. Be firm.

Yep its my brothers GF.
My real problem with her is shes always stressed out, is an alcoholic in the making. (has a glass of wine everyday, then a bottle of whine Fri/Sat)

Shes very successful for her age, but I think she can't really handle the load, and the fact that her moms an alchy I just see things getting worse, and its really not that great right now.

The second thing that drives me crazy is shes a pathological ass kisser.
Some people are just nice, shes the type who goes out of her way and *TRIES* to be nice when it really benefits her.
She'll do it to me, my mom, my brothers friends, just to get in the circle.

And its the way she tries to be nice that makes people not even like her.
Because its so fake.
Shes goes from acting like a stepford wife to a screaming sociopath in the blink of an eye.
Its disturbing, and if she moves in its gonna be fighting till someone moves out, or till someone kills her.

[KatsMeow]

Yep its my brothers GF.
My real problem with her is shes always stressed out, is an alcoholic in the making. (has a glass of wine everyday, then a bottle of whine Fri/Sat)

Shes very successful for her age, but I think she can't really handle the load, and the fact that her moms an alchy I just see things getting worse, and its really not that great right now.

The second thing that drives me crazy is shes a pathological ass kisser.
Some people are just nice, shes the type who goes out of her way and *TRIES* to be nice when it really benefits her.
She'll do it to me, my mom, my brothers friends, just to get in the circle.

And its the way she tries to be nice that makes people not even like her.
Because its so fake.
Shes goes from acting like a stepford wife to a screaming sociopath in the blink of an eye.
Its disturbing, and if she moves in its gonna be fighting till someone moves out, or till someone kills her.

Oh good lord, I hope your brother will wake up and run away, it's too bad that you are being put into that situation.
I personally know that 3 is a crowd especially when 2 of them are a couple. How long do you foresee these living arrangements lasting?

[Flagg]

A few years back I used to share a flat with one of my cousins. All was well till he met a new girlfriend. Then the girlfriend was practically living at ours 24/7. Eating all the ****ing food, using up all the hot water, me feeling like a right 3rd wheel every time I go into the front room and they're sucking each others faces. I ended up resenting her and getting pissed off at my cousin who was too ***** weak to have a word with her and her habits (especially eating the food that SHE didn't pay for, including my share).

A party of 3, where 2 of the 3 are an item is bad news.

[Bojangles69]

Oh good lord, I hope your brother will wake up and run away, it's too bad that you are being put into that situation.
I personally know that 3 is a crowd especially when 2 of them are a couple. How long do you foresee these living arrangements lasting?

They have been together since college, like 8 years, and noone thought it would last as long as it did.
So I think what will wind up prob happening is I'm gonna find a new place and go halfs with someone.
They'll either live together for a week, drive each other crazy and finally break up for good.
Or they'll get married, & drive each other crazy for the rest of their lives.

The only issue I have with moving out is I'm actually setting a trap for my brother. If he realizes the first month its not gonna work, they both are going to be stuck together.
I think at this point I just really don't care.

[Sir Lifts-a-lot]

Here is an easy solution.... When and if she moves in take a huge shit in her dirty clothes hamper. Problem solved.

[warchild]

cus its her house now, not your. you didnt know???

[KatsMeow]

LOL, this is why I have my own house, and if I ever get married we will just have to build a new house and I'm pretty sure there will be a "mans loft" where he can do his own thing.

[Kratos]

LOL, this is why I have my own house, and if I ever get married we will just have to build a new house and I'm pretty sure there will be a "mans loft" where he can do his own thing.

If I ever get married, I want to buy two houses side by side and we can be next door neighbors. "hey baby, you wanna come over to my place tonight?" haha

[Narkissos]

If I ever get married, I want to buy two houses side by side and we can be next door neighbors. "hey baby, you wanna come over to my place tonight?" haha

If only lol.. That'd work out awesome.

2 houses..and a shed in the middle of the two for humping.

[KatsMeow]

If I ever get married, I want to buy two houses side by side and we can be next door neighbors. "hey baby, you wanna come over to my place tonight?" haha

I'm thinking more a long the terms of separate housing quarters and then a mutual Main house.

[BadBarbie]

If I ever get married, I want to buy two houses side by side and we can be next door neighbors. "hey baby, you wanna come over to my place tonight?" haha

HAHAHA YES! Idea of the century!!

[PT]

i have an office in my house were i can get away everyonce in a while and have some peace and quiet because its all soundproof

[Bojangles69]

i have an office in my house were i can get away everyonce in a while and have some peace and quiet because its all soundproof

Yeh thats EXACTLY why I want to soundproof my studio.

No noise goes in, no noise goes out, noone knows I'm in there, and I don't care whos knocking on the door. Because I won't fvcking hear it!!

[KatsMeow]

I've been in a similar situation and it was horrible, I was 21 and just had bought my house, my best friend was living with her boyfriend and when they split up she didn't have anywhere to go, so I let her move in with me, got her a good job working for the same company I was and I guess she got a little too used to not paying bills, then only a few weeks later she found a new boyfriend and decided to move him in as well. It hard when it's your close friend because the tension can certainly ruin a friendship.
So I ended up with another couple basically running my house eating my food having friends over partying and whatnot all while they weren't paying a dime for rent, in the end once I finally told them they had to get out I finally got one check after 6 months for $75.00(what I told them they needed to pay for cable) and it bounced.
Never again will I let anyone move in with me.

[binder]

it's your brothers gf....

ok, first off, have you never been around women at all? she's talking all this shit and you're working on your computer. is it really that big of a deal that she talks to you while you are on the computer? I'm not arguing in her defense, i find women sometimes annoying but shit, you weren't exactly calculating the theory of relativity here. You could have just sat there and let her talk and then she would get bored and go seek out your brother. easy as that

i consider myself an angry person and i wouldn't even snap on a chick trying to talk to me while i'm burning a dvd on the computer.

[Bojangles69]

it's your brothers gf....

Yep, so what?
She still gets no privelages.

ok, first off, have you never been around women at all?

No, this is my first time. I just found out what a vergina wuz yeshterday.
G/damn storks had me fooled all this time!!!

she's talking all this shit and you're working on your computer. is it really that big of a deal that she talks to you while you are on the computer?

Computers don't have VHS. I was by the tv, smart peacekeeping women never bother a man by a tv.

I'm not arguing in her defense,

Youre arguing something in somebodies defense, & it doesn't exactly look like me.

i find women sometimes annoying but shit, you weren't exactly calculating the theory of relativity here.

No, getting a women to leave you alone sometimes is much more complicated, I agree.

You could have just sat there and let her talk and then she would get bored and go seek out your brother. easy as that

HAAHA!!! "Get bored" From TALKING! Do *YOU* spend a lot of time around women?

i consider myself an angry person and i wouldn't even snap on a chick trying to talk to me while i'm burning a dvd on the computer.

Oh, then I wouldn't consider you an angry person.
If you were really an angry person you'd make her head your new monitor.

[novastepp]

had the EXACT SAME problem 2 years ago.

my problem was, and i know u know ur stuff too Bo, was that I assumed she would just piss and moan a little and then it would be over, right, cause we should all agree. well that wasnt the case. my roommates girl, wanted to go full 18 holes of redo on our place and i didnt want to do that just yet. i agreed and said it would be nice down the road...yadda yadda.

i concentrated on her attitudes and her personality on day and figured her out. she freaks out over irrelevant things and paints a picture of the future based on those tiny blurps (basically when i would disagree).

so i went out and bought her a card and a picture frame and put a picture of us in it. in the card i wrote "i know we've disagreed on what to do with this place. but when we get all settled in and come up with enough time, i know we'll knock it out. and this place will be amazing. until then, here's our first step at redecorating. i hope you like it as much as i do."

problem solved. we talked about what we might want to do and said we would make plans. in the end we actually did make plans and made them down the road far enough where i actually did have time to collaborate with both her and my roomie. agreed not to change my stuff and i helped with whatever they thought needed to be changed in general. ended up strengthening our relationship and we've remained close because i showed her that even though irrelevant it may have been, i would be there when the decisions needed to be made and i would respect her opinion.

[Bojangles69]

had the EXACT SAME problem 2 years ago.

my problem was, and i know u know ur stuff too Bo, was that I assumed she would just piss and moan a little and then it would be over, right, cause we should all agree. well that wasnt the case. my roommates girl, wanted to go full 18 holes of redo on our place and i didnt want to do that just yet. i agreed and said it would be nice down the road...yadda yadda.

i concentrated on her attitudes and her personality on day and figured her out. she freaks out over irrelevant things and paints a picture of the future based on those tiny blurps (basically when i would disagree).

so i went out and bought her a card and a picture frame and put a picture of us in it. in the card i wrote "i know we've disagreed on what to do with this place. but when we get all settled in and come up with enough time, i know we'll knock it out. and this place will be amazing. until then, here's our first step at redecorating. i hope you like it as much as i do."

problem solved. we talked about what we might want to do and said we would make plans. in the end we actually did make plans and made them down the road far enough where i actually did have time to collaborate with both her and my roomie. agreed not to change my stuff and i helped with whatever they thought needed to be changed in general. ended up strengthening our relationship and we've remained close because i showed her that even though irrelevant it may have been, i would be there when the decisions needed to be made and i would respect her opinion.

Yeh in all honesty I agree with this completely, the idea of sanding over any rough edges with her.

The reality is thats not really my problem with her because I can deal with and even befriend people I don't like.
The real issue is how THEY get along, which they don't.
I actually had a sort of intervention with his friends, and my other brother, and how we ALL think him not leaving her (it was after she got drunk, broke a window, threw his soap dispenser at a lamp and shattered it, locked herself in his room and somehow managed to drag a huge desk drawer in front [real skinny girl, still not sure how she did it] then blacked out) would be the worst thing he could do.
Even when I told him to call the cops that night he was like "dude, all she has to say is I laid hand on her and guess whos being taken away?"

Its not everyday this happens. But its at least once every 2 or 3 months.
And maybe 1 every couple of weeks with all out screaming/cursing/"I wanna fvcking kill you" fits.
Then everyday their together typical (and some nontypical) arguements.

So yeh, the real issue is how much respect I have for my brother, how good of people they really both are, but the common denominator they DO NOT MIX.
I have nothing against her, but its dissappointing to see what my brother will tolerate. When I picture all 3 of us under the same roof, I can just walk away when they're fighting, but in a way its under my roof too, and I will not tolerate the crap.
And yeh this was something I use to communicate a lot with my brother untill I just realized it wasn't changing anything.

[VWbug66]

I have a sister who's a few yrs older than me..the reason she started saying how she wants to do this and that is because:

Her mom's like that..and she's learned how her mom is..Daughters are almost 100% identical to their mothers. so her mom must be a little controlling type bitch or something close to that..

you just gotta lay down the ground rules with her and tell her that's how it is until she gets her own place. Then she can do whatever the hell she wnats to her place.

[Bojangles69]

I have a sister who's a few yrs older than me..the reason she started saying how she wants to do this and that is because:

Her mom's like that..and she's learned how her mom is..Daughters are almost 100% identical to their mothers. so her mom must be a little controlling type bitch or something close to that..

you just gotta lay down the ground rules with her and tell her that's how it is until she gets her own place. Then she can do whatever the hell she wnats to her place.

Yeh I prob couldn't say women are 100% like their mothers only because I don't meet the mothers of a lot of women I know.

But this one IS exactly like a younger version of her mom.

Now her mom is drunk angry lush divorced by a good man who lives half way across the country, with a new wife, and a successful resteraunt business.

I normally would have no problem laying down the rules, but this situation is different in the fact that I don't have a lot of consequences if she doesn't like the rules.
Like a gf, "get the fvck out of my house" or "this is over, don't call me again".
A wife, "I want a divorce"

A brothers gf who is living with you. I see that turning into a 3 way battle, me fighting with my brother to bring him to sense, her fighting with me and me fighting with her because noone really has any authority over the other person.

[VWbug66]

yeah that is a tuff one dude. I think the best is for you to get ur own place, let ur bro and his gf get their own. because she is going to annoy you more and more as the days go on. and plus, yall aren't even actually moved in together yet!

So, its already a battlefield now, just look on down the road and picture the battlefield scene then...NO GOOD.

I think the best is to get yall's own places because it'll turn into sum nasty sh!t

[Bojangles69]

yeah that is a tuff one dude. I think the best is for you to get ur own place, let ur bro and his gf get their own. because she is going to annoy you more and more as the days go on. and plus, yall aren't even actually moved in together yet!

So, its already a battlefield now, just look on down the road and picture the battlefield scene then...NO GOOD.

I think the best is to get yall's own places because it'll turn into sum nasty sh!t

Def agree. Thats exactly what I'm thinking about.

I really believe some situations just aren't meant to be worked out. And if I'm not there to play Dr Phil like I am now hopefully for my brothers benefit he'll get rid of her.
I have a good amount of time to look around if I start now so I think thats the best plan.

[novastepp]

Didn't know they weren't good together. i missed the part where they didn't mix. i was under the impression they did. i think you're doing the right thing. sucks that he doesn't notice that now. he probably will when time has laid down its toll on him.