Ditch her? Or Keep her?

[J-Dogg]

Seeing this girl, adorable girl, nice, cooks for me, wants to do more for me, but I’m not looking to become dependent on anyone so I resist. I like to have the security of knowing, I don’t have to depend on anyone, other than people I pay.

She is very “needy” or clingy to me, I have to be with her every day. She gets upset if I can’t stay the night. I work a substantial amount of time in the summer; I get home at 6-7 PM. I wake up at 5:30 Am work out and then work a 12 hour day 6 days a week right now. By the time I get home, I have to take care of my dog, do laundry, grocery shop, pack a lunch for the next day, do the dishes, pay bills, organize my work for the following day, keep in touch with family and friends and return phone calls.

When I don’t get this done, I get frustrated.

I talked to her yesterday and it did not go too well. While this is an awesome girl, she does not understand why she can’t help me with these things and I only have the time to see her 3-4 days a week. She is probably use to taking care of a guy, and him always needing her.

Should I give her time to catch on? Or just move on?

[calgarian]

did she offer any help doing your laundry anything? do u really like her ? Can you compromise cause it will only get worse. If not I say dumpp her. Believe me talking wont help at least to any men I know.

[redz]

Yeah get her to do your laundry, sounds like a good girl. Dont dump her if you like her. Its not her fault you work alot and she likes to see you. Also see if you can get her to cook for your lunches and shop for you. If you can train her then she may end up being perfect for you lol.

[CONsis10c]

rolf
Most dependent girls never change at least in that sense... but I don't know all of her assets. I would just weigh out the pro's and con's and go from there.

[956Vette]

Dont let her hold you back. Sounds like her path/goals differ greatly

[BritishColumbian]

ya she sounds co-dependent with a touch of attention defficate dissorder but I aint no Dr. phil or nothin. i hardly ever see my old lady, few hours a day at most. works great!

[Hoggage_54]

Cooks for you, wants to do more for you... sounds like you hit the jackpot! Send her my way if you don't want her, I hate cooking and doing chores.

And of course..

[redz]

Yeah we need to see some good pics to better access the situation lol

[VeraDeMilo]

Um, I am not seeing where there is anything wrong with her. Nothing wrong with a girl liking you and wanting to spend time with you. Of course she is gonna get upset when you don't want to sleep there and stuff, because that is her only time to be with you cause you work so much.

Sounds like she wants to help out and cook for you too. Where is that a flaw of hers? Am I missing something?

Sounds like the issues lie with you and not her. I am in the same situation as you. I work two jobs, have a mortgage and bills, need time to work out, etc. My girl is in college and has all the time in the world. She knows how busy I am so she loves helping out. She cooks for me, cleans my house, does my laundry, the dishes, grocery shops....etc.
In no way does that make me feel dependant at all. Because I know I can do it all myself. I did for a long time. It makes me appreciate her more that she goes out of her way to do stuff for me, so that I have less stress and more time for myself and to be with her.

I don't know the rest of the situation, but based on the facts you have given, I say keep her around.

[CONsis10c]

Cooks for you, wants to do more for you... sounds like you hit the jackpot! Send her my way if you don't want her, I hate cooking and doing chores.

And of course..

Yeah we need to see some good pics to better access the situation lol

rofl

[Kale]

Does she swallow ? If so send her over here !!!!! She is a keeper

[Deltasaurus]

keeper lol

[J-Dogg]

Um, I am not seeing where there is anything wrong with her. Nothing wrong with a girl liking you and wanting to spend time with you. Of course she is gonna get upset when you don't want to sleep there and stuff, because that is her only time to be with you cause you work so much.

Sounds like she wants to help out and cook for you too. Where is that a flaw of hers? Am I missing something?

Sounds like the issues lie with you and not her. I am in the same situation as you. I work two jobs, have a mortgage and bills, need time to work out, etc. My girl is in college and has all the time in the world. She knows how busy I am so she loves helping out. She cooks for me, cleans my house, does my laundry, the dishes, grocery shops....etc.
In no way does that make me feel dependant at all. Because I know I can do it all myself. I did for a long time. It makes me appreciate her more that she goes out of her way to do stuff for me, so that I have less stress and more time for myself and to be with her.

I don't know the rest of the situation, but based on the facts you have given, I say keep her around.

Point taken.

I'm 8-9 months single and my Ex did a lot of that kind of stuff for me, but it was only because I had to make her, she was just lazy I guess. I hated it and after we broke up, it make my work load include those things.

I guess I'm hesitant to let her do these things for me, because I want to get use to doing them myself again first. Sure I can do them if I have too, but will I keep up with them on a daily basis? Or will I be with her because she makes me happy, or because putting up with her is easier than doing all my chores?

Yes she swollows too. She is adorable and has the best body I've ever seen on a fast food eating 20 year old.

[VeraDeMilo]

Point taken.

I'm 8-9 months single and my Ex did a lot of that kind of stuff for me, but it was only because I had to make her, she was just lazy I guess. I hated it and after we broke up, it make my work load include those things.

I guess I'm hesitant to let her do these things for me, because I want to get use to doing them myself again first. Sure I can do them if I have too, but will I keep up with them on a daily basis? Or will I be with her because she makes me happy, or because putting up with her is easier than doing all my chores?

Yes she swollows too. She is adorable and has the best body I've ever seen on a fast food eating 20 year old.

Then how bout you continue to do all of your chores, but let her come along and do them with you. This way you get what you want, by still doing your chores and not being reliant on her.... and she gets what she wants, because you guys are spending more time together.

[Hoggage_54]

Yes she swollows too. She is adorable and has the best body I've ever seen on a fast food eating 20 year old.

Pics please.

[Kratos]

I'm not seeing a problem here. A girl fighting for more attention is pretty common, and when they win and get more attention they lose interest in my experience.

Throw the poor girl a bag of dirty laundry.

[KingTenderloin]

Seeing this girl, adorable girl, nice, cooks for me, wants to do more for me....... She is probably use to taking care of a guy

because putting up with her is easier than doing all my chores?.....Yes she swollows too. She is adorable and has the best body I've ever seen on a fast food eating 20 year old.

I vote keep, however i'd ween her off the fast food ASAP, they always start off skinny

[WARMachine]

^^^ AGREED!!!


If you like her enough to put up with her clingy-ness... Then keep her...


If she drives you to the point of you wanting to push her into moving traffic, then dump her. And put her on a one-way ticket to LA...


Shes really young bro, thats probably why shes so clingy. 20 years old is WAY too young to settle down...

[Amorphic]

sounds like you should keep her around. just work on communication and let her know that despite your schedule you care about her

[zimmy]

I gotta say...i also enjoy taking care of everything for my gf. I get offended when she tries to clean or do laundry. Some people just like to take care of there significant other.

[J-Dogg]

Thanks guys, makes a lot of sense hearing it, or reading it rather.

And I don't think it's all her, I am stubborn and proud, I'm probably damaged goods from my last relationship. In a way, be becoming dependant on her inside I fear could cause me hurt, so I am just stubborn and do everything myself...because I don't want anyone to hold anything over my head, or have the ability to do so....or hurt me.

I know I can't live like that for the rest of my life, I guess I'm just resistant to it.

Reading though the responses and reading my post though, really allows me to read into my own self.