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Thread: I actively participate in shoplifting

  1. 11-13-2002, 12:22 PM #1
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    I actively participate in shoplifting

    Hold on though before you judge. In my defense, some items simply scream "steal me." Take certain protein bars for instance. They know they're damn pricey, plus they strut their stuff knowing how damn good they taste. They're all, "I taste like a chocolate bar but I'm all good for you and shit....oh so good for you. Now steal me dammit and maybe buy some porn while you're at it." So, I tend to comply in those situations.
    Furthermore, certain cashiers send direct signals to the consumers indicating that now is the time for some good, old-fashioned shoplifting. For example, I went to my local pharmacy yesterday to buy some syringes. Well, I asked for 80 but the guy said he only had 68. Suspicious? Hidden meaning? I think so. As if that wasn't enough, he went and totally undercharged me by like half the price for those 68 pins. At that point I knew he was trying to convey a message to me. He was obviously trying to say, "Hey buddy. Steal some of those vitamins down there. They're good for you so you won't be hurting anyone by just taking them. Also, I like your pants." I took the vitamins and thanked him for complimenting my wardrobe. I thought it was a great touch when he pretended like he didn't know what I was talking about.
    Anyways, shoplifting is a victimless crime. Only the store-owner loses out and thus everyone who counts is left happy and content. I think I'm gonna go steal me a puppy.
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  2. 11-13-2002, 12:28 PM #2
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    "buy porn" ?????

    Dude INTERNET *hint*
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  3. 11-13-2002, 12:30 PM #3
    nuke
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    Nathan welcome back .I MISS YOUR PROSE ! LOL
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  4. 11-13-2002, 05:21 PM #4
    Totenkopf
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    Dude your all F__ed up on goofballs :}
    I always enjoy your posts
    Now im wondering whats wrong with me
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  5. 11-13-2002, 05:23 PM #5
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    WTF?
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  6. 11-13-2002, 05:51 PM #6
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    At first I thought this might be a true story. Then you said he liked your pants.
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  7. 11-13-2002, 06:15 PM #7
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    When did you start wearing pants?
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  8. 11-13-2002, 07:49 PM #8
    Cycleon
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    Im rather surprised Nathan didnt bend over and ask the pharmacist to give him an "injection" - no doubt that was the signal he was sending
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  9. 11-13-2002, 08:05 PM #9
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  10. 11-13-2002, 08:21 PM #10
    m16a2
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    you and winona would hit it off!
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  11. 11-13-2002, 09:02 PM #11
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    Originally posted by CYCLEON
    Im rather surprised Nathan didnt bend over and ask the pharmacist to give him an "injection" - no doubt that was the signal he was sending
    Jackass. Go fuck yourself.

    The story is actually true, except the whole pants thing. Sometimes theft just seems like a good idea, and when i get away with it it seems like a way better idea. I know, I'm a bad person. I don't steal big things though and I only steal from places that rip you off.
    Here's another tip if you don't want to outright steal: switch the price tags on things. It totally works so long as you don't get too greedy.
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  12. 11-14-2002, 08:55 AM #12
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    Re: I actively participate in shoplifting

    Originally posted by Nathan
    Hold on though before you judge. In my defense, some items simply scream "steal me." Take certain protein bars for instance. They know they're damn pricey, plus they strut their stuff knowing how damn good they taste. They're all, "I taste like a chocolate bar but I'm all good for you and shit....oh so good for you. Now steal me dammit and maybe buy some porn while you're at it." .
    I'm still trying to figure out what kinda place sells Protein bars AND Porno.
    must be one of those new "Progressive" Gyms I keep hearing about
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  13. 11-14-2002, 09:07 AM #13
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    Talking Re: I actively participate in shoplifting

    Originally posted by Nathan
    I thought it was a great touch when he pretended like he didn't know what I was talking about.
    This is great!
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  14. 11-14-2002, 09:38 AM #14
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    Originally posted by Nathan

    Here's another tip if you don't want to outright steal: switch the price tags on things. It totally works so long as you don't get too greedy.
    Yeah, I tried this at a car dealership. I switched the price tag on one of the new H2 Hummers with one off of a low end Honda Civic. When I told the salesman that I would take it without even going on a test drive, he seemed a little suspicious of me. Guess I got to greedy Funny thing is he told me he liked my pants also...
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  15. 11-14-2002, 12:04 PM #15
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    Originally posted by woodsy169


    Yeah, I tried this at a car dealership. I switched the price tag on one of the new H2 Hummers with one off of a low end Honda Civic. When I told the salesman that I would take it without even going on a test drive, he seemed a little suspicious of me. Guess I got to greedy Funny thing is he told me he liked my pants also...
    That is way too greedy. What you should have done is switched the price tags of a hummer with all the extras for just a regular hummer with nothing on it so to speak.
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  16. 11-14-2002, 12:24 PM #16
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    This is retarded. Join the economy or get the fuck out. Ever tried to start a business before and have someone rip you off? The penny pinching is pretty lame unless you are like 15 and still getting an allowance from Mom - even then, if you stole from my business I would ship you to the Middle East in an overnight UPS stamp to do what you seem to think is right - over there. (I have been a victim a few times and in my neck of the woods getting your car broken into seems to be a norm)

    Having someone rip me off would be worth it - as long as I caught the little fucker doing it...

    No seriously... I am smiling.
    Last edited by Warrior; 11-14-2002 at 12:26 PM.
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  17. 11-14-2002, 02:03 PM #17
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    LMFAO.........
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  18. 11-14-2002, 02:05 PM #18
    partyboynyc
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    damnit

    i was almost sure i had abused enough drugs in my short lifetime.now i know i have not done enough!!!Nathan is my hero and i will make certain that my serotonin level is completely drained this weekend to kurt cobain levels so that my mind may revert back to it's previously demolished state.nathan to live!!!!!!!
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  19. 11-14-2002, 04:11 PM #19
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    Re: damnit

    Originally posted by partyboynyc
    i was almost sure i had abused enough drugs in my short lifetime.now i know i have not done enough!!!Nathan is my hero and i will make certain that my serotonin level is completely drained this weekend to kurt cobain levels so that my mind may revert back to it's previously demolished state.nathan to live!!!!!!!

    after reading all thats posted here, i think ive done too many drugs in my lifetime, as all this is starting to make perfect sense.....


    peace bb79
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  20. 11-14-2002, 07:55 PM #20
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    Nathan bro you are one funny fuck...LMAO!!!!
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  21. 11-15-2002, 10:52 AM #21
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    Originally posted by Warrior
    This is retarded. Join the economy or get the fuck out. Ever tried to start a business before and have someone rip you off? The penny pinching is pretty lame unless you are like 15 and still getting an allowance from Mom - even then, if you stole from my business I would ship you to the Middle East in an overnight UPS stamp to do what you seem to think is right - over there. (I have been a victim a few times and in my neck of the woods getting your car broken into seems to be a norm)

    Having someone rip me off would be worth it - as long as I caught the little fucker doing it...

    No seriously... I am smiling.
    Oh I agree wholeheartedly. If you catch the guy i think the shop owner should be allowed to do anything he wants to the culprit in question. If he wants to slice the guy's scrotum up a little with a razor blade and then force him into an iodine-filled bathtub, then I think that should be legal. I mean, it's just common sense.
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  22. 11-15-2002, 12:55 PM #22
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    agreed, I wish I had nabbed the little cock-sucker that broke into my truck... I would have ripped off both his thumbs and shoved 'em up his ass...
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  23. 11-15-2002, 05:51 PM #23
    partyboynyc
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    ripped4fsu??

    OMG!!!i'm so sorry!! i was just looking for spare change to get my crack fix on!!please send me a bill for the damages!!!!
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  24. 11-15-2002, 07:57 PM #24
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    Winona Ryder reminds you all, only 30 days of shoplifting left until Xmas!

    Red
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  25. 11-16-2002, 10:53 AM #25
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    Partyboy,, if I'd known it was you I would have GIVEN you the keys and my AMEX card!! I live vicariously thru you bro, so I won't be the one to slow your party down!!
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