Textsfromlastnight dot com

[CBGB]

textsfromlastnight.com

Check it out lolololololol

(775): before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.

337): I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?

339): so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...

(310): Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.

[stack_it]

337's hilarious

[jbm]

nice!

[Skully44420]

hah!

[CBGB]

(214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my c@ck in your @ss
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom


(630): The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.

(918): Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance


(256): You took my girl thats shot the Fvck out. You better watch your skinny @ss.
(1-256): That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
(256): Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
(1-256): Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.

[ni4ni]

aldara-> gential warts??...NASTY!!

[CBGB]

check out the best night, and worst night sections hahahahahahaha