I shat my pants!!

[alex18]

So i was up earlier than usual, around 4am, ran 3 miles with the dog, showered, jumped in the car and headed off to BWI for a flight to Houston for a big meeting. Anyway, about 1 mile away from the airport i started needing a dump! Didnt think much of it as figured it was morning poop time. Got out the car in the parking lot and was like WOW i really need to shit. I opened the trunk to get my bags out and had to take a minute to focus on holding it in! relax relax i kept telling myself! I thought, can i make it into the terminal, dump, head back out to the car grab my bags then check in...time was tight and i couldnt miss this flight...i had to check in! So i grabbed my bags and started wheeling the towards the terminal. I was sweating like a mofo trying desperately not to open the sphincter! I was just approaching the check in desk when oops... HOLY MOTHER i'd let some out even with buttocks fully clenched! I couldnt go to the toilet because i had 2 big bags and a wheeled cooler! So i checked in knowing id shit myself! then waddled to the bathroom! and let the rest out..was not pleasant... i had some serious cleaning up to do and i was wearing a $1500 tailored suit!!! I had to throw my boxer shorts in the trash and fly to Houston and spent the day commando!

Man what a horrible experience that was! Funny but man it was horrible!!

With hindsight what i should have done is shit in the corner of the parking garage then wiped my ass in the terminal! HA

[BG]

Imagine seeing someone in a $1500 suit shitting in the garage in a corner.....now thats classy !! I dont know if walking around with out wiping your ass would have been any better?? Anyways, pretty funny.

[stack_it]

Lmao I've came real close to shitting myself but haven't since the first grade

[CBGB]

$1500 for a suit? My socks cost that much.......lol

[l2elapse]

[eatrainrest]

this is pretty ridiculous but it made me laugh

[JinNtonic]

That is awesome!

[rx8rone]

haha

[Hazard]

LMFAO i feel your pain brother......

I went to a hospital to talk with the materials manager and the head OR nurse about our company. I parked in the parking garage.... went across the street and into the hospital. While in there, i got those mumbles and grumbles, not a good thing right before a meeting. they came down to talk with me and said they didn't have much time..... so i gave them my card and walked back to the parking garage. In hindsight.... i probably should have shit at the hospital..... don't know why i left.

I get into my car and it really started..... i had to find a bathroom really quick. So i leave the parking garage and i'm driving down these inner city streets clenching the cheeks and I come upon a CVS. I figured they'd hafta have a bathroom..... so i get out - put money in the meter - and walk into CVS. As soon as i get in - i asked a lady who worked there if they had a bathroom. She says "sure..... i'll take you there - just let me finish restocking the shelf" - it took her 5 F*CKING MINUTES! This is the point where you're hot.... sweating..... you get prickly tingles down your back and arms. Your ass is going to erupt any second.

She finally finishes and takes me to an employee bathroom with no locks..... i get in the stall..... and it was a friggin photo finish. I was so f*ckin close to losing bowel control it wasn't even funny.

~Haz~

[manwitplans]

Funny stories guys.

I'll tell you one about my buddy, discuting though it is.

He is a drummer and was going to practise. When he was on his way down the street he told me that he felt he had a fart going, and he let one rip (and that was were he made his mistake). He half-shat his pants (you know, a fart that turns into a shit (shart). haha.

He went home, cleaned himself up. And put on his mothers sanitary towels (im not ****ing kidding about that one...) one discusting sob

[energizer bunny]

i have also shit my pants.......from a shit disguised as a fart!!! fukin assasin....

[manwitplans]

^^ hahaha.. Im laughing so hard now.

[fitluv09]

[Juturna]

i have also shit my pants.......from a shit disguised as a fart!!! fukin assasin....

Hahahaha.

[Hazard]

And put on his mothers sanitary towels (im not ****ing kidding about that one...) one discusting sob

What the eff are sanitary towels?

~Haz~

[sizerp]

LOLOL That was the funniest shit.

[crazy_rocks]

that story made me laugh. you brought laughter to the world today.

when i was 4 i shit my pants in the back of tom towers pickup truck. it came out the top of my pants and got all over his red pickup. tom tower was a farmer. my mom got mad.

[Flagg]

That's funny stuff right there mate. Brave man with a sense of humour to share that with us.

I know i've had a couple of extremely close calls myself. Im sure we all have. It's like a ticking time bomb..

[manwitplans]

What the eff are sanitary towels?

~Haz~

Probably the wrong word.
But the things ladies use when they have their period!

[alex18]

glad i could make a few of you chuckle at my expense!

[DSM4Life]

One day i was driving to work. The stomach did a little grumble and i said "oh crap." I figured i had enough time to get to work since it was only about 20 more mins. Well it started hitting me real hard and i said to myself "better stop somewhere." I decided to get off at the next exit cause i knew there was a place i could go. Only problem was the highway turned into bumper to bumper traffic !! I was jumping in my seating doing the poo poo dance for like 30 mins when i couldn't hold it anymore. I flew down the shoulder trying to get to the exit and i was almost home free until there was a broken down truck on the shoulder WTF!!!!!!!!!!!
I had to go so bad i actually thought for a second to get out of my car and let it rip somewhere. Somehow by the grace of god traffic moved a little allowing me to go around the truck and HAUL @$$ to where i could go. I never had something leave my body is such a speed as it did that day

[GuybrushThreepwod]

Back when I was an idiot, I decided to use Alli. I also decided that since I was now on diet pills, I didn't need to change my fast food diet. Long story short, I farted out a stream of orange grease that bleed through my jeans, making my ass wet and stinky for the remainder of the day. There was no hiding it. Oh, I was also at work. I'm in construction. I'll never live that down. sigh.

[DSM4Life]

Back when I was an idiot, I decided to use Alli. I also decided that since I was now on diet pills, I didn't need to change my fast food diet. Long story short, I farted out a stream of orange grease that bleed through my jeans, making my ass wet and stinky for the remainder of the day. There was no hiding it. Oh, I was also at work. I'm in construction. I'll never live that down. sigh.

No mercy there

[chewie1130]

i shit my pants once on my way home from school in grade school, but i was wearing shorts so the crap rolled down my legs....and later that day my mom stepped in MY SHIT and said "damn dogs!"....haha thought the neighbors dogs did it