JESUS! Parents against dieting...

[YoungGunsNY]

I'm 19 and been dieting for about 7-8 months straight now, and throughout the months my parents have mad more and more protests against my dieting.

They call me everything...

You're like an anorexic girl, you look like emisciated (yeah right), you could look like that if you ate 'normal' (fried dinners - no matter what she makes), you're obsessive (mind you, addiction does run in my family between uncles, fathers who've recovered and an older brother who's on the fence).

^If bodybuilding's my addiction, at least it ain't opiates or stimulants - but they don't want to hear that - bodybuilding has kept me healthy and they fail to see that... I don't drink anymore (from 2-3 nights a week to about once every 2 months), I don't smoke weed anymore (I never made it past 2 months without doing it once since 15, it's been 6 months).

I usually ignore them, but it's been the past 5 days in a row both my father & mother, and my mother keeps threatening to throw my food away after I cook it - bitch... but now I'm worried about her actually doing that lol...

I don't have mood swings but I guess my 'moods' may change day-to-day since I just started carb-cycling for the first time with 3 miserable low carb days...

Anyways, what's the best way to combat their "this is sickening, you're nuts, you're obsessive" arguments - besides it's healthy, it's a good obsession - b/c I've used those plenty of times...they don't work lol

[DSM4Life]

There are such things as positive addictions.

[Eddie_m63]

I go throuth the same bs with my mom, she's always telling me that its going to be bad for my health. If it wasn't for her and her cooking i would have a great body already. I will just ignored them as i ignored my mom.

[Hazard]

are they over weight?

Bring home a copy of your next blood test..... tell them they can ridicule you when their bloodwork is better than yours.....

~Haz~

[YoungGunsNY]

are they over weight?

Bring home a copy of your next blood test..... tell them they can ridicule you when their bloodwork is better than yours.....

~Haz~

Spot on, they are overweight but they're not obese... they just enjoy eating the delicious stuff...

My mother is an amazing cook - but EVERYTHING is cooked in a SH!TLOAD of olive oil... no matter what it is ...

But yeah - I been meaning to go for blood work - this is more a of motive to - thanks brother.

[DSM4Life]

You need me to give you a full physical exam to prove to your parents that your OK ?

[gettingthere]

Go through the same thing with my mother and father, my mother will say to me if i get an ache or pain, oh you need to eat someting proper....WHAT? i am eating everything proper

[Times Roman]

If your folks are ignorant, high probabability you will not "change" them. years ago, i had a friend that had folks that were rather rotund (fat) and would cook the most unhealthy meals. For some strange reason, they (the folks) were happy when their kids were fat too. It made the folks uncomfortable when the kids tried to change their lifestyle/diet since it reminded the folks that they too were not doing the right thing.

I did something recently I don't usually do very often - go to church. While I was there, I looked around and noticed how many more people in this church were extremely obese, as compared to the general population. then I began to notice their children were just as fat. then I looked at all the snacks that were left out, and not a one of them was something I would eat (all sugary fatty crap). In this particular instance, there was a strong correlation between the church and fat people. Beyond that, I'll let you decided why that is. My point is (if there really is a point to my rambling), my point is your parents are forced outside their comfort zone when they see you changing your lifestyle for the better. and then, unfortunately, they focus on and blame you for their discomfort. Your best bet, baby bird, is to spread your wings, leave your parents nest, and go build your own nest. It's time to fukking go and start your own life!!

[YoungGunsNY]

You need me to give you a full physical exam to prove to your parents that your OK ?

How does that one work? Sounds cheaper than a blood test and more of an experience...

[Times Roman]

How does that one work? Sounds cheaper than a blood test and more of an experience...

oh shit dude... don't pay any attention to DSM... friggin weird as hell!!!!

[YoungGunsNY]

Your best bet, baby bird, is to spread your wings, leave your parents nest, and go build your own nest. It's time to fukking go and start your own life!!

Oh I wish I could - except I don't have a job .... I live off my bank account of saved money from working every summer except this one so far..

[DSM4Life]

How does that one work? Sounds cheaper than a blood test and more of an experience...

All that is required is a bottle of vodka, edible underwear and some crisco. I am Internet certified to give these exams so no worries.

[YoungGunsNY]

oh shit dude... don't pay any attention to DSM... friggin weird as hell!!!!

I know who he is - I'm playing along and not giving in by letting him think he's grossed me out...

I have a few gay friends - I'm not that close with them.. but tolerable and can have fun with them..

[Times Roman]

Oh I wish I could - except I don't have a job .... I live off my bank account of saved money from working every summer except this one so far..

but you see my point....? you aren't going to really change your parents. the only thing you can do is change your scene. if you can't change domiciles yet, then find activities outside the home. All that negative energy from your folks will feed back on itself and will poison your pysche. Better to hang with like minded individuals all wanting to live healthy lifestyles.

Just hang in there, things will change.

[Times Roman]

I know who he is - I'm playing along and not giving in by letting him think he's grossed me out...

I have a few gay friends - I'm not that close with them.. but tolerable and can have fun with them..

not against "gay", dude. just don't want to be beat over the head with it either.

[YoungGunsNY]

but you see my point....? you aren't going to really change your parents. the only thing you can do is change your scene. if you can't change domiciles yet, then find activities outside the home. All that negative energy from your folks will feed back on itself and will poison your pysche. Better to hang with like minded individuals all wanting to live healthy lifestyles.

Just hang in there, things will change.

Yeah I got you though - at first my mom thought I was nuts, then she was happy for me that I had 'drive', then she got pissed and thought I was nuts all over again - and we're still in the phase... but it really is getting worse with my father chiming in...

[YoungGunsNY]

All that is required is a bottle of vodka, edible underwear and some crisco. I am Internet certified to give these exams so no worries.

Hm since I drank about 4 weeks ago - we gota wait another 3 weeks before that physical - I like to space out my drinking time - but it will be worth it buddy - thanks for giving me something to look forward to...
what tools do u use for inspection btw

[Bossman]

Like Times Roman said, move out. Get a job, find a room mate and move out. I did at 17, end of my Junior year in High School. I was making $4.50 and hour and I managed (that was a while back, but you get my point). Be your own man, man.


Be careful with DSM. He has a bumper sticker that reads "I love Twinks" (not twinkies).

[CMB]

I know where you are coming from I started dieting since I was 14 during those 4 years I heard just about every god damn thing there was about not dieting.
"eat what we make!"
"you don't need yams, and sweet potatoes"
"Your going to die from all that food!"
ect...

So I just saved up and started buying my own food at 14 years old...
thats when my body building career started.

[lovbyts]

Ever hear the saying Misery loves company? it's in families also. You think they should be supportive but when one peroson is doing better than the others they try to drag them down. It's very sad. Instead of people being supportive they want to see you fail.

Like they say, you can choose your friends but not your family.

Good luck and keep up the good attitude and faith.

[YoungGunsNY]

Thanks guys, I didn't think they were truly yelling at me because they're mad I'm making progress and they're not.

It's funny - when my mom's friends come over, she wants to show me off - and then once I open a tupperware, she makes a comment...

I got it 15 minutes ago making my pre-bed shake - "you can look the same if you ate normal, maybe it would just take a little longer" (and countless hours of cardio - which I don't even do at all)

I'm so safe under this umbrella of financial securities that I'm scared to move out and pay for every little thing, as much as I want to move out... I hate to sound spoiled..but I don't want to get out of a good thing just yet... I say until I finish school - then I consider moving out (4-5 more years...transferring schools screwed me)

[40plusnewbie]

There are such things as positive addictions.

Dr. William Glasser (think the spelling is correct) actually wrote a book: Positive Addictions

I used to get on my sister b/c of her low bf only b/c she had no muscularity so she looked borderline anorexic. Me and her husband (who goes to the gym with her 7 days a week) convinced her to put on like 10 lbs. of muscle.

Last time I saw her was at Xmas and I could see solid shoulder, upper and lower arm def as she was wearing a dress. No NO ONE would question whether or not she is anorexic despite her low bf b/c of her muscularity. It's obvious she is into fitness or some sort. Anorexics don't have muscularity, they just have sickly skinniness.

Go see a nutritionist with your diet written out and ask them to write an opinion letter on the health of your diet. Ask your dr to write a brief note on your physical health. Hell, have them sign off on the diet too. Show to parents. (I didn't read this thread so if you bulk up like mad and drop down to real low bf cyclically they typical nutritionist and dr are less likely to back such a plan- my uneducated guess).

People with no muscle and real low bf do look anorexic, not people with obvious muscularity. If you don't do massive bulk/cut cycles I think your parents are just simply not educated on the matter, so get a nutritionist and an MD to educate them!

[bjpennnn]

bro keep up the good work use it as more motivation

[YoungGunsNY]

Dr. William Glasser (think the spelling is correct) actually wrote a book: Positive Addictions

I used to get on my sister b/c of her low bf only b/c she had no muscularity so she looked borderline anorexic. Me and her husband (who goes to the gym with her 7 days a week) convinced her to put on like 10 lbs. of muscle.

Last time I saw her was at Xmas and I could see solid shoulder, upper and lower arm def as she was wearing a dress. No NO ONE would question whether or not she is anorexic despite her low bf b/c of her muscularity. It's obvious she is into fitness or some sort. Anorexics don't have muscularity, they just have sickly skinniness.

Go see a nutritionist with your diet written out and ask them to write an opinion letter on the health of your diet. Ask your dr to write a brief note on your physical health. Hell, have them sign off on the diet too. Show to parents. (I didn't read this thread so if you bulk up like mad and drop down to real low bf cyclically they typical nutritionist and dr are less likely to back such a plan- my uneducated guess).

People with no muscle and real low bf do look anorexic, not people with obvious muscularity. If you don't do massive bulk/cut cycles I think your parents are just simply not educated on the matter, so get a nutritionist and an MD to educate them!

Yeah - I really gotta get around to going to a doctor ... but aren't doctors usually against 200g+ of protein a day? Even though they may understand we're bodybuilding...

Also, I still goto my pediatrician =/ (19) and my mom says I'm best going to him until I'm 21. He is a REALLY good doctor - but he treats me like a kid still and tells my mother on the phone everything instead of a face-to-face with me. I'm going to speak out next time... but I hope he doesn't just try to satisfy my mother ...

[Hazard]

Yeah - I really gotta get around to going to a doctor ... but aren't doctors usually against 200g+ of protein a day? Even though they may understand we're bodybuilding...

Also, I still goto my pediatrician =/ (19) and my mom says I'm best going to him until I'm 21. He is a REALLY good doctor - but he treats me like a kid still and tells my mother on the phone everything instead of a face-to-face with me. I'm going to speak out next time... but I hope he doesn't just try to satisfy my mother ...

OH LORD...... come on man.....

Walk into that doctors office and tell him to stop talking to your damn mom...... it's called patient doctor confidentiality..... If he calls your mom.... he violates Hippa regulations.

I understand you want to keep living there and reap the benefits but you still need your own life..... you can live there without having to answer to ever little thing.

~Haz~

[Knockout_Power]

I know where you're coming from Young Guns, I have an Italian family so not sitting around 30% bodyfat means you dont look healthy, must be something wrong if you dont like to eat enough to maintain your weight.

[Standby]

I know where you're coming from Young Guns, I have an Italian family so not sitting around 30% bodyfat means you dont look healthy, must be something wrong if you dont like to eat enough to maintain your weight.

i dated an italian girl and her nona was all about that getting in her face yelling in italian saying your not healthly all that fun stuff

[Knockout_Power]

i dated an italian girl and her nona was all about that getting in her face yelling in italian saying your not healthly all that fun stuff

no joke man, I have no idea how I didnt end up obese... for ym 3 brothers, my mom and grandma, she would cook a full 1kG box of dry pasta... I dont know if you can imagine how much that is cooked... and we couldnt leave till it was done. Thats on top of the salads, fresh bread and of course som kind of sugar infused dessert.

[Knockout_Power]

OP, sorry for jackin your thread

[Hazard]

no joke man, I have no idea how I didnt end up obese... for ym 3 brothers, my mom and grandma, she would cook a full 1kG box of dry pasta... I dont know if you can imagine how much that is cooked... and we couldnt leave till it was done. Thats on top of the salads, fresh bread and of course som kind of sugar infused dessert.

fvck that sounds good..... when am I invited over?

~Haz~

[Standby]

no joke man, I have no idea how I didnt end up obese... for ym 3 brothers, my mom and grandma, she would cook a full 1kG box of dry pasta... I dont know if you can imagine how much that is cooked... and we couldnt leave till it was done. Thats on top of the salads, fresh bread and of course som kind of sugar infused dessert.

her grandma would make her own damn pasta and it was honestly the best thing i ever ate. sh*t i kinda miss it now lol. wouldnt go good with my new diet it tho lol

[Knockout_Power]

fvck that sounds good..... when am I invited over?

~Haz~

dont bring this upon yourself bro... she will cook for anyone at any time. She thought she had too much food for thankgiving so she told my exgirlfriend to bring any friends/relatives that were free that day. Still had food left over... remember it like it was yesturday...

Lasagna
Stuffed eggplant
Veal cutlets
That salty breaded fish stuff (bacalah I think)
Salads
3 Homemade desserts

[Times Roman]

boy if this thread didn't get jacked??

[40plusnewbie]

Yeah - I really gotta get around to going to a doctor ... but aren't doctors usually against 200g+ of protein a day? Even though they may understand we're bodybuilding...

Also, I still goto my pediatrician =/ (19) and my mom says I'm best going to him until I'm 21. He is a REALLY good doctor - but he treats me like a kid still and tells my mother on the phone everything instead of a face-to-face with me. I'm going to speak out next time... but I hope he doesn't just try to satisfy my mother ...

Get the f out of pediatrician, 4 real. Now. Your over 18 and are your own guardian, r your parents gonna take u off their insurance if you go to a regular PCP (primary care physician/ internist) ? Until u do that tell him straight out u r ur own guardian and expect dr patient confidentiality and he is breaking hippa reg's by talking with your mom about u (I believe he can listen to what she has to say if she calls, he is prohibited from saying ANYTHING about you LEGALLY to ANYONE about your treatment/etc unless you give consent). Remind him of that firmly, he's used to treating you as a kid, tell him point blank it's illegal for him to talk to your mom about you b/c u DO NOT GIVE CONSENT and are your own guardian! Tell him you like him and respect him and withdraw any previous consent you have given him to speak to ANYONE about you without your expressed consent. Tell him you will consult with a lawyer if he does it again. Then ask for a referral to a primary care physician/internist who treats adults. If he doesn't immediately do that, unless you gave him written consent or verbal consent after turning 18 tell him you will consult with an lawyer about the legality/harm it has caused you by him speaking with someone about you and your treatment without your consent. Then demand a referral to a man's dr. (your mom might still be able to play hard ball with u b/c she's supporting you and can kick u to the curb if you don't let her make decisions/set rules for you).

When I turned 18 I started signing my own late notes to school. The school gave me some form that had an area for my parents to 'give consent' for me to do this. I ignored it because people who are their own guardians do not need anyone's consent to exercise their right to act as their own legal guardian. I kept signing my own sick notes and late notes after turning 18 in high school and they never said anything about that bull shit get consent from my parents again. Nor did they ever call my parents about me being late/missing school after I turned 18.

I can't say about the ammt of protein dr.s reco' but my last dr recco'ed a standard 40/40/20 ratio.

I do 300+ g's protein/day and do a ~ 70/15/15. A dude I bump into every 2 weeks commented today "Damn, every time I see you you keep getting bigger and bigger." There were a few chicks in the room who see me daily as it was at my work and I could see them perk up to his comment. It felt good.

Speak to your dr. about your goals physique wise, ask about risks of high protein intake and ways to counter. 1 I know of is it ****s with your kidneys, another is constipation w/out enough carbs/greens/oats/etc. Drinking tons of water will help with da kidneys and plus your a young guy, your not 50 ****ing around with an unbalanced diet. If the dr is against your ammt of protein intake ask him to comment on the short term risks.

When it comes to diet, nutritionists are the experts, not pediatricians or primary care physicians. Do your research ahead of time and find a nutritionist who is in support of/pro body building and see that person. Ask for brief phone interviews about their level of understanding in coaching someone nutritionally who has a strong interest in body building. See one who knows more than the generics, some body builders have degree's in nutrition themselves. If you can get a referral from ur dr that's best as it won't cost u but a co-pay, if you can't, tell them you will be a cash paying customer and tell them you want to see them long term for coaching on your diet and at your first visit ask them to sign off on the health of your diet to reassure your parents. Then never go back.

But get a Man's dr because you are a Man and not a child! That is prob 1/2 your prob if your letting your mom decide which dr is best for you to see. How the f does she know it's best for a 19 yo man to see a pediatrician until they are 21? Gooogle that shit and find out when a male should switch to a real dr that men and not little boys see.

Your mom is over involved in your life and personal decisions. There will be compromises u have to make so long as you live with them, that's life. Let her biotch but get a letter from a nutritionist saying your diet is better than 3/4 (or 90%, who knows) of the american public or some shit (50% of us are obese).

But ur gonna have to live with her shit until u stop living with her, that's the way it goes when u live with your parents. We all been there.

[lovbyts]

Good advise above. Stand your ground. Tell you doctor to NOT share your information and tell you mom/dad to STOP treating you like you are 5 yrs old. They will appreciate it even if they dont act like it at first.

I did the same thing in high school. Once I turned 18 I signed all my notes. They tried the same BS with me, said I had to take some form home to sign and I signed it in front of them.

[n00bs]

Spot on, they are overweight but they're not obese... they just enjoy eating the delicious stuff...

My mother is an amazing cook - but EVERYTHING is cooked in a SH!TLOAD of olive oil... no matter what it is ...

But yeah - I been meaning to go for blood work - this is more a of motive to - thanks brother.

Whats worng with olive oil?

And diet is an evil word...

If you have a revised eating plan that is actually healthy how canthey argue with it?


That is if what you are eating is infact actually healthy for you... and it isnt some 500cal/day HCG diet crap.


Mate can you post your diet up for us please?

[n00bs]

I know where you're coming from Young Guns, I have an Italian family so not sitting around 30% bodyfat means you dont look healthy, must be something wrong if you dont like to eat enough to maintain your weight.

Its funny isnt it? My girlfriend is form lebanese backgorund... She is working on losing weight and everytime she does some jealous cousin tells her OMG whats wrong with you!

FOOLS!

[kiki123]

YoungGunsNY I know exactly what your going through having been there myself. Only advice I can give.. buy your own food and move out as soon as possible, if your parents are really anal like mine they'll start complaining about the amount of power you use to cook your food. As someone else in this thread said "rise above it, more motivation" etc etc but I believe you can only "rise above it" so many times. The negative comments are like a broken record and it will get to your psyche sooner or later. Your home is supposed to be somewhere you can relax and unwind.

If you've set goals for yourself pursue them, some people will never appreciate the time and dedication that you put into your bodybuilding so best thing for it is to just remove yourself from that environment and surround yourself with like minded individuals.

[lovbyts]

Its funny isnt it? My girlfriend is form lebanese backgorund... She is working on losing weight and everytime she does some jealous cousin tells her OMG whats wrong with you!

FOOLS!

Sounds familiar. My GF is Filipino and after having a bb she was told she would never loose the weight, it was normal/healthy. She is now down to 102, 103 lbs? Some of her female friends tell her Ohhhh you are to skinny, you look un healthy (they are all fat) but at the same time all the guys say how good she looks and she feels better than she has since she was 20. All her old class mates (girls) who have not seen her in years say how good she looks though.

Especially with women that is how it works. Just like women with long beautiful hair you always get these stupid butch women trying to get them to cut their hair short.

[n00bs]

Sounds familiar. My GF is Filipino and after having a bb she was told she would never loose the weight, it was normal/healthy. She is now down to 102, 103 lbs? Some of her female friends tell her Ohhhh you are to skinny, you look un healthy (they are all fat) but at the same time all the guys say how good she looks and she feels better than she has since she was 20. All her old class mates (girls) who have not seen her in years say how good she looks though.

Especially with women that is how it works. Just like women with long beautiful hair you always get these stupid butch women trying to get them to cut their hair short.

**** YES!!

ITs evil isnt it?

I dont understand is it just epic jelaousy?

It really is sad...

Eat eat too skinny (me thinking shut the **** up **** you know how hard she has been working!)