I need help with something; I might have to lie I dunno

[cherrydrpepper]

Ok.. I'll try to make this short.

Been rooming with this guy living at his house. Awesome house awesome guy. Barely charges me anything and doesn't even make me pay part of the electric. Ive known this guy 5 years and we are real friends, not acquaintances, but real friends

I have an opportunity to live with my weight lifting buddy for even cheaper, I mean like a song. He is going to have his own house and yard. He will be close to all the bars and action. His entire life revolves around chasing ***** and lifting; he's a classic frat boy meathead type, but I love him for it. He's the best. His game is so swole that he has introduced me to his spillovers a couple of times. In short he wants to hang out daily and he wants to hook up with chicks.

My current roommate on the other hand is going through that stage of life where he's more mature and settled. He doesn't like to spend money. Doesn't chase women. Getting him to go out is like pulling teeth.

To me the answer is clear, I need to live with my workout buddy. I'm not sure what to tell this other guy though, because I can't see any way to do this without him feeling rejected. Its really not about anything other than I know I will get laid more / easier living with this other dude, its just a fact. We both have our shit straight that we were put on this earth to lift and ****. It goes back to the cave men.. its science.

[Flagg]

So you have your really good friend of 5 years, who gives you a great deal on where he is staying, you dont even have to pay for half the bills and then some guy you know in the gym wants you to live with him, simply because it's cheaper? And you're contemplating lying to your friend of 5 years.

Some friend you are, nice to see which side your bread is buttered on.

[cherrydrpepper]

So you have your really good friend of 5 years, who gives you a great deal on where he is staying, you dont even have to pay for half the bills and then some guy you know in the gym wants you to live with him, simply because it's cheaper? And you're contemplating lying to your friend of 5 years.

Some friend you are, nice to see which side your bread is buttered on.

Jeez you sound like my dad

Let me be perfectly frank. If I was gonna lie to this guy .. which yeah he is really a friend so I don't want to do that, I would be doing it to save his feelings. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I don't want to lie to him either. I guess im looking for a diplomatic way to broach what I have to do.

Look it comes down to this. I ask the guy I live with "dude you wanna grab a beer?" he is giving me a yes maybe 25% of the time. The other 75% of the time its all "my girlfriend this" and "can't spend money that".

My workout buddy on the other hand will light up my phone with 15 texts a day and half of them are asking when im going to gym, can I hang out tonight, etc etc.

[Flagg]

Jeez you sound like my dad

Let me be perfectly frank. If I was gonna lie to this guy .. which yeah he is really a friend so I don't want to do that, I would be doing it to save his feelings. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I don't want to lie to him either. I guess im looking for a diplomatic way to broach what I have to do.

Look it comes down to this. I ask the guy I live with "dude you wanna grab a beer?" he is giving me a yes maybe 25% of the time. The other 75% of the time its all "my girlfriend this" and "can't spend money that".

My workout buddy on the other hand will light up my phone with 15 texts a day and half of them are asking when im going to gym, can I hang out tonight, etc etc.

So why did you move in with him in the first place? You're telling me you cant hang out with your gym buddy and stay at your other friends house? What if this gym guy ends up being a dickbag? You ever go on holiday with friends before and at the end of 2 weeks you cant stand the sight of one or all of them? That's because you're living with them 24/7 and you start to see all of them, not just the fun part. If you find you don't like living with this other guy, what are you going to do then?

You do what you gotta do. I think the fact you have to lie about all this shows you have a ton of character.

[HawaiianPride.]

You know the more you have in common with another person the less interesting things can get as odd as that may sound. Hence why best friends moving in together hardly work, same goes for unofficial relationships.

You never really know someone completely until you've lived with them. It may seem like a bad ass time ahead of you now, but this guy may end up annoying the shit out of you before 6 months is up. I'd really think this through if I were you. I speak from experience lol.

[cherrydrpepper]

So why did you move in with him in the first place? You're telling me you cant hang out with your gym buddy and stay at your other friends house? What if this gym guy ends up being a dickbag? You ever go on holiday with friends before and at the end of 2 weeks you cant stand the sight of one or all of them? That's because you're living with them 24/7 and you start to see all of them, not just the fun part. If you find you don't like living with this other guy, what are you going to do then?

You do what you gotta do. I think the fact you have to lie about all this shows you have a ton of character.

In college I made the mistake of rooming with someone I was best friends with for years. We drifted apart in different directions. He basically became a modern day hippie and we could not relate with each other.

As far as that last part about the lying, you can judge me however you want. I don't give a damn what anyone in this world thinks about me. Except maybe my dad. I can't go through life worrying what people think. If I was going to lie to this guy, it would be about my reasons for moving out, so that instead of saying "you just aren't as cool" or something assholish like that, Id say "well I got a new job out that way" or some shit. I don't even know. Im just looking for an out to not tell this guy "look, im picking my other friend over you".

You should consider my mantra for life. Giving a shit what people think is the biggest trap ever invented for the mind. If you can't let go and accept yourself you will relive those memories of everytime you let someone down or ****ed up in life, and even the best fall down. In some individuals that own-tail-chasing mentality leads you to believe you aren't good enough to be loved by a girl, you aren't good enough to work for an employer, etc.

Let me be frank. I do not fit in one box. At times I can be an asshole. But I'm basically a good guy. I care about people. I try to show it. I'm not going to list off the things I have done recently to try to prove something, but I care about people, even people I don't know very well.

My reasons for wanting to room with frat boy are simple; he's fun, he wants to hang out with me, and we have the same approach to life lately which is lifting and chasing tail. You know when I was a kid I thought life was going to be this amazing exciting thing when you turn into an adult. Its bullshit. Lifting and chasing tail are two of the most rewarding things a person can do in their life. So I'll leave you with a quote from Rounders:

"If you're too careful, you're whole life can become a ****ing grind".

You know the more you have in common with another person the less interesting things can get as odd as that may sound. Hence why best friends moving in together hardly work, same goes for unofficial relationships.

You never really know someone completely until you've lived with them. It may seem like a bad ass time ahead of you now, but this guy may end up annoying the shit out of you before 6 months is up. I'd really think this through if I were you. I speak from experience lol.

This guy works 2 jobs and isn't going to make me sign a lease or anything. If it goes to shit I could probably break out of there. I really don't think it will though. I've shown this guy so much respect and he has reciprocated. Even the girl he's with, I was there when they met, telling him in his ear "dude she's into you, go get her".

[HawaiianPride.]

That's exactly what I mean brother. It always seems like it's going to be the shit moving in. But hey, your thinking positive about it. And who knows this may be the start of something sick.

Just tell your current roommate the truth. If he's truly your friend, he'll understand. And from the way you made him seem, I don't think he deserves to be lied to. Tell him how you feel, then bounce out of there lol.

[cherrydrpepper]

Thanks.. I'll probably be living in a van down by the river before this is over. LOL. I think i'll ask my workout buddy that. "Am I going to regret this decision? Will I be living in a van down by the river before this is over?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDsG8...eature=related

[lovbyts]

So you have your really good friend of 5 years, who gives you a great deal on where he is staying, you dont even have to pay for half the bills and then some guy you know in the gym wants you to live with him, simply because it's cheaper? And you're contemplating lying to your friend of 5 years.

Some friend you are, nice to see which side your bread is buttered on.

X2, not to be a dick but you are thinking like a guy interested in a girl and thinking with his dick. LOL

You arent looking at it logically or you are trying to see ONLY the logic.

If it was me I would stick where I was. Your friend of 5 years is more stable than someone you dont know well but THINK you have a lot in common with.

It will probably also end up being another stepping over a dollar to pick up a dime. It will cost you more in the long run that you think. There are always unforeseen cost. Maybe he will decide to charge you more? Maybe he will kick you out and then you will need to find another place? Maybe you will end up hating him?
STAY...

[HitIt]

Hmmm. Always be careful what you wish for. You may get it. And it may not be what you expected.

[MaNiCC]

I'd stick where you are.

[Stigmata101]

Thanks.. I'll probably be living in a van down by the river before this is over. LOL. I think i'll ask my workout buddy that. "Am I going to regret this decision? Will I be living in a van down by the river before this is over?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDsG8...eature=related

Be honest with your 5 year friend......He'll understand....if he doesn't you'll want to move out after that discussion anyways.

great link too.....really started my day off

[DSM4Life]

Is this your friend or your BF ?
It sounds like you are happy where you are now but think the grass is greener on the other side.

[ReX357]

I'd stay where I am if I were you. You need your own space and it's best if you don't always hang out with your friend and if you're distant a bit with your roommate.

You have it right in your face, this good friend of yours of 5 years your staying with now doesn't seem so cool anymore cause you live with him. Same's gonna happen with your lifting buddy.

[Flagg]

In college I made the mistake of rooming with someone I was best friends with for years. We drifted apart in different directions. He basically became a modern day hippie and we could not relate with each other.

As far as that last part about the lying, you can judge me however you want. I don't give a damn what anyone in this world thinks about me. Except maybe my dad. I can't go through life worrying what people think. If I was going to lie to this guy, it would be about my reasons for moving out, so that instead of saying "you just aren't as cool" or something assholish like that, Id say "well I got a new job out that way" or some shit. I don't even know. Im just looking for an out to not tell this guy "look, im picking my other friend over you".

You should consider my mantra for life. Giving a shit what people think is the biggest trap ever invented for the mind. If you can't let go and accept yourself you will relive those memories of everytime you let someone down or ****ed up in life, and even the best fall down. In some individuals that own-tail-chasing mentality leads you to believe you aren't good enough to be loved by a girl, you aren't good enough to work for an employer, etc.

Let me be frank. I do not fit in one box. At times I can be an asshole. But I'm basically a good guy. I care about people. I try to show it. I'm not going to list off the things I have done recently to try to prove something, but I care about people, even people I don't know very well.

My reasons for wanting to room with frat boy are simple; he's fun, he wants to hang out with me, and we have the same approach to life lately which is lifting and chasing tail. You know when I was a kid I thought life was going to be this amazing exciting thing when you turn into an adult. Its bullshit. Lifting and chasing tail are two of the most rewarding things a person can do in their life. So I'll leave you with a quote from Rounders:

"If you're too careful, you're whole life can become a ****ing grind".



This guy works 2 jobs and isn't going to make me sign a lease or anything. If it goes to shit I could probably break out of there. I really don't think it will though. I've shown this guy so much respect and he has reciprocated. Even the girl he's with, I was there when they met, telling him in his ear "dude she's into you, go get her".

I've bolded something you said. If you live by the mantra of not giving a shit what people say, then:

1) You wouldn't ask for opinion here
2) You wouldn't lie to your mate because you dont give a shit what he thinks, right?

[Nicotine]

i wouldn't move in with the fratboy...you'll get dragged down with his shinanigans in no time.

life wise, goal wise - your current situation sounds best.

i dont think saving a few bucks (probally not even that much) is worth living in what seems to be an unstable situation. it may look good from the outside and looks like fun - but within no time you'll be making posts on here that he banged your girl, what to do, your stuff got stolen, you havnt been to the gym in forever, he didnt pay the bills and now you need to sleep in your car...... blah blah blah.

[MaNiCC]

I've bolded something you said. If you live by the mantra of not giving a shit what people say, then:

1) You wouldn't ask for opinion here
2) You wouldn't lie to your mate because you dont give a shit what he thinks, right?

Looks like you caught him with his pants down there flagg

[SnaX]

I'd stay put. Living with a party animal sounds like it could bring about some bad traits.
The environment of your "friend" sounds more relaxing and intelligent than some tail-chasing guy who lifts weights.

But hey, you could be one of the people who learn the hard way. If so, pack yo' sh!t foo, and be prepared to wear down your body.

[scorpion62]

Why cant you stay put? and go out with the other guy and party hit his pad when you pull then go home

[Nooomoto]

His entire life revolves around chasing ***** and lifting

We both have our shit straight that we were put on this earth to lift and ****. It goes back to the cave men.. its science.

Uh...someone who's entire life revolves around chasing ***** and lifting weights doesn't sound like someone who has his "shit straight". Sounds like problems to me. Any guy surrounded by women is guaranteed to have problems. Girls bring problems, the more of them you have around, the more problems there will be. I promise you this.

[ReX357]

Uh...someone who's entire life revolves around chasing ***** and lifting weights doesn't sound like someone who has his "shit straight". Sounds like problems to me. Any guy surrounded by women is guaranteed to have problems. Girls bring problems, the more of them you have around, the more problems there will be. I promise you this.

True on all counts.

[HitIt]

Why cant you stay put? and go out with the other guy and party hit his pad when you pull then go home

best advice. best of both worlds.

[cherrydrpepper]

I've bolded something you said. If you live by the mantra of not giving a shit what people say, then:

1) You wouldn't ask for opinion here
2) You wouldn't lie to your mate because you dont give a shit what he thinks, right?

I see what you are getting at but feel its not true. I'll use an analogy. Aas. People who shoot make a decision they are willing to risk jail for this lifestyle. It doesn't mean that they WANT to go to jail, just that they find the risk acceptable for the tradeoff.

Not giving a shit what people think is similar. It doesn't mean I **** my friends girlfriend, then he says "why did you **** my girlfriend?" and I say "Cause I don't give a shit what you think". Its not like that, and I'll take some credit for my bad wording skills in getting my point across. Its more like, ok this didn't work out quite right, but Im not gonna give a shit cause lifes too short. Ok another analogy. I hit on 5 girls at the club yesterday. Got shot down each time. But you know what, my goal next night out is to run game on 10 girls, and bringing it up a notch when im talking to them. Not only do I not give a shit that those 5 girls shot me down, im empowered for having the balls to cold approach all of them like whats up.

Anyway im really at an impasse on what to do here.. I feel I should listen to my dick which is telling me I'll get laid more with the frat boy. But 5 years is a long time and I can count the number of friends I have that like me enough to take me into their house on one hand. So I'll have to think about it some more.

[LGM]

Just my 2 cents.

Stay where you are. This guy lets you live there cheap, AND he's responsible with his money, etc. He's stable.

What happens when your frat boy friend forgets to pay a bill? Or has some wild party and burns his house down?

Stay where you are, and hang with the frat boy. You go home to a place you know is well looked after, and can party with your other friend.

To me, a few hundred bucks and extra poon isn't worth it.

[Bryan2]

Didnt read any responses but quit being a bitch and tell your friend your contemplating on moving out.

Give the reasons why but dont make them sound dickish

Im sure your buddy is a big boy and can take it right.

[cherrydrpepper]

Didnt read any responses but quit being a bitch and tell your friend your contemplating on moving out.

Give the reasons why but dont make them sound dickish

Im sure your buddy is a big boy and can take it right.

Yeah hes in his 30s I mean.. yeah.

I told him today I was thinking about moving out, but I don't want it to effect our friendship.

Been feeling really depressed today. Back to drinking and watching Good Will Hunting, my depressed drunk routine.

[calgarian]

Wow ...pvssy and clubbing is all u care for ...isnt it? this life gets boring so soon. Common sense would be to stay at ur current residence and go hand out with your other friend.....but common sense isnt common.

[Hazard]

I'd stay where you are..... you're current roomate is stable. The last thing you'll want to happen is your gym partner losing his house or apartment because he's falling behind on payments.... or his lifestyle got him fired from his job..... or who knows what. You need a stable living situation first and foremost.

Why not stay living where you are and just go out and party with your other friend? It's not like every waking moment at his place is going to be a big orgy.....

~Haz~

[warchild]

man you need to get laid drcherrypepper

[Standby]

are you not aloud to leave your place now and go some where else? lol you cant just go out get drunk crash at fratboys wake up send girl on walk of shame then go back to your real friends? your a grown boy

[numbat]

I say stay

Its kinda like having 2 chicks that can fulfill different needs, but in your case you can have the cake and eat it too..b/c obviously it's not women but homies and you can bounce around as you see fit w/o recourse.

Think about it.. If you move in with ole boy every skank, barfly, and annoying motherfukker you meet is gonna know exactly were to find you at all times. Waking you up at all hours, eating all your good food. etc.

Keep the grounded mofo's house as a refuge and the other place as a playground. just my 2cents

[tjax03]

In college I made the mistake of rooming with someone I was best friends with for years. We drifted apart in different directions. He basically became a modern day hippie and we could not relate with each other.

As far as that last part about the lying, you can judge me however you want. I don't give a damn what anyone in this world thinks about me. Except maybe my dad. I can't go through life worrying what people think. If I was going to lie to this guy, it would be about my reasons for moving out, so that instead of saying "you just aren't as cool" or something assholish like that, Id say "well I got a new job out that way" or some shit. I don't even know. Im just looking for an out to not tell this guy "look, im picking my other friend over you".

You should consider my mantra for life. Giving a shit what people think is the biggest trap ever invented for the mind. If you can't let go and accept yourself you will relive those memories of everytime you let someone down or ****ed up in life, and even the best fall down. In some individuals that own-tail-chasing mentality leads you to believe you aren't good enough to be loved by a girl, you aren't good enough to work for an employer, etc.

Let me be frank. I do not fit in one box. At times I can be an asshole. But I'm basically a good guy. I care about people. I try to show it. I'm not going to list off the things I have done recently to try to prove something, but I care about people, even people I don't know very well.

My reasons for wanting to room with frat boy are simple; he's fun, he wants to hang out with me, and we have the same approach to life lately which is lifting and chasing tail. You know when I was a kid I thought life was going to be this amazing exciting thing when you turn into an adult. Its bullshit. Lifting and chasing tail are two of the most rewarding things a person can do in their life. So I'll leave you with a quote from Rounders:

"If you're too careful, you're whole life can become a ****ing grind".



This guy works 2 jobs and isn't going to make me sign a lease or anything. If it goes to shit I could probably break out of there. I really don't think it will though. I've shown this guy so much respect and he has reciprocated. Even the girl he's with, I was there when they met, telling him in his ear "dude she's into you, go get her".

I'm really not trying to sound like a dick, but that bolded statement makes it seem like you haven't really explored what life has to offer you. Don't get me wrong, lifting and ****ing are great, and they make you feel good in ways that few things else can do. That being said, if thats all you care about, you may look back one day and wonder how you wasted away your prime years. Even though it sounds corny as hell, life really is what you make of it. How old are you by the way? I'm guessing you are still pretty young. If that's the case you still have tons of time to figure out what you want for yourself. Just don't automatically assume that cheap thrills are as good as it gets. That's the end of my lecture, just trying to give you some helpful advice, even if you don't care what anybody else thinks.

[NMacFar]

You need to set some goals in your life. Chasing tail, getting drunk and lifting is all you want to do? Your priorities are all fuc*ked up. I read a thread of yours yesterday that said you are 29 years old and that you had to lie about your age just to pick up a 19 year old girl. Do you have any dreams or do you live constant lie?

I'm not trying to be an assh*le here because I have read a ton of your posts and you seem to be a pretty smart guy and you help out alot around here. I just think you need some guidance in your life.

As for your friend? IMHO, the guy you are currently living with IS the guy you need to be living with.

[number twelve]

You know the more you have in common with another person the less interesting things can get as odd as that may sound. Hence why best friends moving in together hardly work, same goes for unofficial relationships.

You never really know someone completely until you've lived with them. It may seem like a bad ass time ahead of you now, but this guy may end up annoying the shit out of you before 6 months is up. I'd really think this through if I were you. I speak from experience lol.

agreed. the OP described a situation with me and one of my best friends. we got at each others throats some times to say the least

[Igifuno]

even if the money you'll be saving is significant enough to justify making a move, you'll be spending it by going out every night and you'll end up with less.. make sense?

Can't you stay where you're at and chill with your buddy whenever you want without leaving your good friend high and dry?