Man Rules!!!

[Knockout_Power]

Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear 'the rules' From the female side ...Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1... Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched..
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh

[SlimmerMe]

I actually agree with A LOT of them to tell you the truth! HAHHAHHAHH! Ha HA ha HA!!!
and I am not kidding!

[spoken_truth]

haha it needed to be posted...well done KP

[Knockout_Power]

I actually agree with A LOT of them to tell you the truth! HAHHAHHAHH! Ha HA ha HA!!!
and I am not kidding!

and i thought I was going to start getting some hate mail from the ladies... but nope, no more than usual

[lovbyts]

I have had that printed out several times in the past and sent it to GF's. It's been a while since I saw it and it's still holds true 100%.

I need to add to #1. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports. (Sex also but we wont usually tell them about that one because it's usually not with them...)

[Older lifter]

Kind of sums it up, but they still don't get it

[Knockout_Power]

I have had that printed out several times in the past and sent it to GF's. It's been a while since I saw it and it's still holds true 100%.

I need to add to #1. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports. (Sex also but we wont usually tell them about that one because it's usually not with them...)

yah... definately ANOTHER # 1

[Atomini]

We don't even need a fvcking list.

[Nooomoto]

It's amazing how relatable so much of that list is.

[40plusnewbie]

That was a pretty good OP. I haven't thought about it in a long time cuz I'm married now but I used to have my own set of rules in dealing with chicks.

- Never date a chick you are not already ****ing
- Never pay for (as in admission to a club, dinner, whatever) a chick you are not already ****ing
- Never ask a woman to buy her a drink, what this translates to is "If I give you $7.00 can I talk to you for 5 minutes?"
- Never ask a woman for her phone number (unless time constraints necessitate it, u want to go on an instant date with them when u first meet them). What it says to a woman when you ask for her phone number "I want to **** you, but I haven't quite figured out how to go about it yet, so if you give me your number, when I figure it out I will give you a call" (know how to **** her right when u meet her and proceed down that road, sure your gonna miss a fair ammt of the time but by having this mindset u have a lot more confidence, don't construe this as being rude though)
- Never spend money on a female who is an acquaintance or friend to you unless you would spend that same money on a male friend or acquaintance under the same circumstances (or your trying to buy ***** which makes u a ***** to be trampled over).
- Don't listen to chicks whine and complain, u don't want to be their emotional tampon, you want to **** them and have no balls Henry who fantasizes about ****ing her but doesn't have a chance be her emotional tampon so she can cry to him when u do something wrong.
- Don't prowl in the same places too often, chicks nail you as a player and it messes with your action, have a wide variety of places to rotate to and from, make friends with the staff and regulars at those places so u have ppl to talk to when u show up though.

That's it for now,

[lifterjaydawg]

looks like a sticky!