Wanna hear something funny? :)

[BigJuice777]

I start my first cycle of Test in a month or two. I have been reading a ton lately and I stumbled across a thread labeled 'Sexual Over-Function', where everyone is stating how horny they get while on a cycle involving Test. The consensus is that each person beats off at least 2-3 times per day... when they can't get any from their wife or girl friend.

The funny part: I live in Utah, and happen to be Mormon ... Mormons aren't allowed to whack-off!!! Thankfully I am married, but I'll need to complete a 12 week cycle of Test without spankin the monkey Am I screwed or what?

I'm gunna want to screw everything and everyone in sight, but won't be able to do anything about it. It's gunna be a long 3 months Sucks to be me!!!

[HawaiianPride.]

Dude, you are worried about breaking the rule of wacking off due to your religion yet you are pumping yourself full of illegal drugs?

Come on... beat your meat if your already breaking the law.

[MBMETC]

ya ok good luck

[MBMETC]

oh he said mormon... ha ha ha i thought he said moron

[Times Roman]

Dude, you are worried about breaking the rule of wacking off due to your religion yet you are pumping yourself full of illegal drugs?

Come on... beat your meat if your already breaking the law.

It does seem to be a contridiction, does it not? Of the two crimes, spanking the monkey, and purchasing illegal drugs, I think the drugs would be the more serious crime.

Here's a funny thought. What happens to a practicing Mormon if they have a wet dream? Do we get to throw stones at 'em???

[HawaiianPride.]

I would think so, unless it says in the Mormon Bible it's all good to do steroids. Lol, stoning to death, classic.

[MaNiCC]

Dude, you are worried about breaking the rule of wacking off due to your religion yet you are pumping yourself full of illegal drugs?

Come on... beat your meat if your already breaking the law.

You make a very good point

[gonejeepin]

lol, god forbid you spank it, that would be terrible, nevermind injecting illegal substances into your muscles for 12 weeks, if you somehow manage to go the 12 weeks without fireing one off you must be some kind of mormon god.

But lol at the concept of your post.

[warchild]

my name is bigjuice777 i like to juice and im a mormon.

[boxin23]

And I thought the OP was going to have something funny posted.....turns out evey one else here are the comedians.

And to the OP i 100% agree......i mean seriously bro.....you wont beat off but you will purchase drugs??? I think you need to re-examine what is ok to do for yourself and not..

;

[boxin23]

oh yeah i forgot to ask......do you have any wives to share? HAHA.....

[bodybuilder]

Just go ahead and let em flow kid.

[jojomcgo]

Dude, you are worried about breaking the rule of wacking off due to your religion yet you are pumping yourself full of illegal drugs?

Come on... beat your meat if your already breaking the law.

I was thinking the same fvcking thing before i even read your reply...

[tylerrrman]

my name is bigjuice777 i like to juice and im a mormon.

hahaha..

[Relax007]

This is unreal! Another good reason not to believe in religion.

[warchild]

like those mormon commercials

[stevey_6t9]

hall of shame here

[goodlifting]

my name is bigjuice777 i like to juice and im a mormon.

hahahahah!! ^^

[D7M]

I'm a Theologian.

Trust me buddy, you can beat your meat and God won't be mad at you.

[jerseyboy811]

Dude, you are worried about breaking the rule of wacking off due to your religion yet you are pumping yourself full of illegal drugs?

Come on... beat your meat if your already breaking the law.

Sorry to go off topic but dude, hp who is that in your avy

[jerseyboy811]

The bible mentions masturbation but nothing about performance enhancers so I understand. Religious people are just supposed to follow blindly and not consider common sense

[D7M]

The bible mentions masturbation but nothing about performance enhancers so I understand. Religious people are just supposed to follow blindly and not consider common sense

Weeeelll, technically one could argue that scripture teaches not only about natural law but also offers a proscription to adhering to the civil authorities to which we find ourselves under (this latter issue would most easily be evidenced by the quotation in Mark 12:17, "Render unto Ceasar's that which is Ceasar's.").

And, fyi, the only reference to "masturbation" in the Bible is in Gen 38:6-9. It's not even masturbation, but really coitus interruptus.

Also interestingly, the guy who did the above deed, Onan, is where we get the word Onanism (masturbation).

God killed Onan, btw.

[NVR2BIG1]

God man man, and man made juice, so God Damnit juice it up!!!!!!

[BigJuice777]

LOL... I knew it would make for a funny thread.

I know full well it's a contradiction Life is full of them. If it's prescribed its not a contradiction... and while it isn't prescribed, I don't really put it in the 'drugs' category. I am choosing to juice to make my body stronger and more healthy... the complete opposite of typical drugs. So while it is illegal, I believe it's different (can you hear the justification? ) Thankfully, I have a kick ass wife (just one... and no, Mormons are not allowed to have multiple), and she takes care of me whenever I need

You guys all had some pretty funny responses... I thought you guys would get a kick out of my scenario.

[BigJuice777]

Feel free to keep baggin' on religion and all the stupid rules Catholics/Mormons/Baptists, have to follow... I don't really mind. Some of your comments are pretty funny

[HawaiianPride.]

Sorry to go off topic but dude, hp who is that in your avy

She's a chick I'm wackin it to right now.

[MACHINE5150]

not everyone beats off 2-3 times a day.. you will want to though.. If i had a nice peice of ass i would be tapping it 3 times a day.. but jerking off that much is just not realistic if you have any kind of social life.. but you will have a huge increase in sexual function..

can't you have like a dozen wives at a time being mormon?? this would almost be a must then.. that way every one of your wives will think you love her the most.. JK.. i know that is not excepted anymore..

[smalltime7]

I start my first cycle of Test in a month or two. I have been reading a ton lately and I stumbled across a thread labeled 'Sexual Over-Function', where everyone is stating how horny they get while on a cycle involving Test. The consensus is that each person beats off at least 2-3 times per day... when they can't get any from their wife or girl friend.

The funny part: I live in Utah, and happen to be Mormon ... Mormons aren't allowed to whack-off!!! Thankfully I am married, but I'll need to complete a 12 week cycle of Test without spankin the monkey Am I screwed or what?

I'm gunna want to screw everything and everyone in sight, but won't be able to do anything about it. It's gunna be a long 3 months Sucks to be me!!!

well I assume you also not supposed to juice? I think wacking off may not be a much bigger sin.

[smalltime7]

I am close to where the OP lives and we also have many many mormons and i know a few who juice and also most likely wack off

[D7M]

Do you drink coffee, or use pre-workout supps, BigJuice?

[jerseyboy811]

Weeeelll, technically one could argue that scripture teaches not only about natural law but also offers a proscription to adhering to the civil authorities to which we find ourselves under (this latter issue would most easily be evidenced by the quotation in Mark 12:17, "Render unto Ceasar's that which is Ceasar's.").

And, fyi, the only reference to "masturbation" in the Bible is in Gen 38:6-9. It's not even masturbation, but really coitus interruptus.

Also interestingly, the guy who did the above deed, Onan, is where we get the word Onanism (masturbation).

God killed Onan, btw.

That's funny I've actually read very little of the bible but I have read that Verse before. wasn't that talking about taxes though.

[D7M]

wasn't that talking about taxes though.

Yes, it was.

[Kdub]

The Lord Gave, and the Lord Hath Taken Away

Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped,
And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
-- Job 1: 20-21 (KJV)

God gave you birth/ life and he will give you death. All the time in between is yours. Enjoy it.

Slap the ham, bang in some Cyp and follow it with 3 Hail Mary's and be done with it all.

Give me drugs, sex, prostitution, murder, death, kill and let me choose.
-- Life 1: 1-2 (KDUB V)

You may find that if you were to read "your" holy book and you yourself interpret it without outside influence it would "read" much different.

[BigJuice777]

Do you drink coffee, or use pre-workout supps, BigJuice?

No coffee, but I love it. Creatine as the only real pre-workout supp... Used to smoke weed, drink like a fish and take many other party substances. I've been sober for about 10 years now. Just married to a great chick and trying to get sexy First real cycle (injectables) coming up in Dec/Jan. Way Stoked!!

[BigJuice777]

You may find that if you were to read "your" holy book and you yourself interpret it without outside influence it would "read" much different.

Sorry, not really up for a religious debate on a steroid forum I just thought it would give a few people a laugh

FYI - Porn is off the table for Mormons as well.... I'm sure some of you can crack a few jokes on that bad boy too Fire Away!!

[you.can.do.it]

Just Do It.

[stevey_6t9]

[GrEgZter]

Dude I could almost bet that u will let one go!!

[BigJuice777]

Dude I could almost bet that u will let one go!!

I am guessing a few will fly as well I bet fat chicks will turn me on with 500mg's Test searing though the pecker!!!

[stack_it]

So if looking at steroids as a way to better yourself is a legit way for you to justify it than why not look at masturbation as a way to keep you from having impure thoughts of other women in order to justify it? All you have to do is think of your wife and your gtg lol.

Religions are odd