Lets play a game called "what all is wrong with this email"

[Skyler]

So I post motivational videos on my facebook all the time. One today was a Zhasni video, and a guy my mom knows commented on it saying that I should go pro. I laughed and explained its not that easy, but i would like to some day.
Another guy my mom knows then came along and said he hopes I can keep my head on straight and find the natural route to the pro's. And proceeded to warn me about the dangers of steroids by posting the video about Greg Valentino "The man who's arms exploded".
F*ck me right?
I basically commented back, telling him that he is way out of his element, and I would appreciate if he didn't post stupid comments about things he knows nothing about.

Then, he emailed me this...

"Skyler,

I really don't know you that well, but have always been supportive of you and what you do through your family as well as your efforts in the service for our country.

I'm sending you this via a message instead of on your wall, because here's a little personal history not-well-known of me and I prefer to keep it between you and I.

I've personally known many builders (three professional), all who used steroids in their goals at being pro.

My mom dated one of these pro bodybuilders in the early 90s. He was massive, well cut and clearly defined. He owned 3 gyms in Indianapolis. He had a daily cycle. He used to work out with me when I was younger and trained me for a while when I was in high school football. I admired him, but I didn't know how much the steroids affected him...

He always got angry quite easily, but I was still young and my mom was good at hiding how angry...until I woke up one morning around 2am hearing her screaming.

I was 15. My brother and sister didn't hear her. I grabbed my baseball bat and went to her room. He was pummeling her over and over. Broken cheek, broken jaw, broken nose, 3 broken ribs, broken forearm, multiple bruises and two black eyes.

I hit him as hard as I could about 5 times until he left my mom alone and came after me. I ran outside. He told me he was gonna kill me. The cops finally showed and he was arrested.

He had beaten her because she wouldn't get up at 2am and make him chicken and rice while he was trying to bulk up for a competition.

This wasn't the first time he had beaten her I later found out. She had lied to us about being in a car accident in a previous beating.

I'm not associating you with him, in any way.

I thought your current physique was quite impressive and made no assumptions about you. When you said you wanted to go professional, I support your goals.

I was trying to be a friend who clearly stated "I'm sure you're already aware, but just to make sure" in an effort to be supportive of knowledge. Nothing more...nothing less.

I know that my video of Greg Valentino was an extreme case, in fact one of the most extreme cases. I also know how the media operates.

I also know that ambition can drive people. Professional bodybuilders are no different: http://www.trulyhuge.com/pro_bodybuilding.htm (an article from IronMan magazine from a professional in 1997 commenting on what he had been driven to do in order to compete as a professional).

I was not posting as an insult to you, professional bodybuilder's, or your ambitions, or out of my ignorant assumptions.

After my experience with him, and vicarious experiences with other friends of mine who used (in many cases abused) steroids and were builders or trainers. I've come to a great respect for natural pro builders because I've seen some devastating effects of abuse personally.

I won't ever post on your page again so I don't offend you with my ignorance of your sport or personal agenda.

Just because I'm flabby now, doesn't mean I always was, nor does it mean I don't understand.

Sincerely,
Benjamin ****"

I don't even know how to respond. There is so much wrong with this email I am at a loss for words. How am I expected to talk to people like this?

[QuieTSToRM33]

A simple "fvck off" always seem to do the trick.

[Skyler]

lol, I like your style

[LGM]

He was posting or emailing out of concern. If he wanted to blast you, He'd have done it on your fb page.

Also, his experience is just that; his. It's also fairly common with those who abuse gear; it's not like he was coming from way out in left field.

As to how you should handle it, I'd just let it go. He's said his peace; he obviously feels better about warning you and his concern that you don't make the same mistakes some people in his life have made.

I'd leave it up, and just let it go.

Or if you want to be the bigger man, I'd thank him for his concern. Tell him you are aware of the role steroids play in sports, and that your health is important to you. But don't be a dick, and play into the stereotype.

Just my 2 cents.

[Shol'va]

lol, I like your style

I like his style....doesn't want to offend you after several paragraphs of rants about a lowlife d*ckweed who beat his mom because of anger control issues and wusses out and blamed it on steroid abuse???? Man... this whole thing has me so pissed I want to hit someone...kidding

[Skyler]

I did respond to him.
My response:
I don't want you to think I am mad at you, or that I don't want to be your friend, because that's not the case. I am just a no bullshit type of guy, so when I have something on my mind, or there is an issue i want to address, I take it head on, and very blunt and to the point.
I also agree there is no single "right" point of view. I respect everyone's preferences and beliefs. I have just gotten into the "steroid debate" so many times, I now have very little patience for the matter. If someone seems at least somewhat educated on the matter, I will have a civil conversation with them, no matter what their view is. I do not expect them to have the same view as me, and I also appreciate other views on a subject that interests me. When I feel, however, that I have come across "one more person" who wants to start a conversation about steroids, based purely on false facts, and no real knowledge of the subject, I honestly get worn out just thinking about how exhausting the conversation would be, so i try to put an end to it fast.
I respect your view as an individual and an artist about how the physique should look or be attained.
As far as competition goes, I guess I could say that racing a car with NOS isn't cheating if every other car in the race also has NOS.
I do use steroids, but I have been researching anabolics on every level for about 7 years, and made sure i was well educated about them before ever using them. I also use, and do not abuse. When you saw me at the party, you saw me "natural". I had not taken any anabolic compound in nearly 3 months.
I appreciate your concern, I understand that you are trying to look out for me, and I thank you.
I think you are a good guy and you had the best intentions, with your heart in the right place.
I don't hold any hard feelings toward you, and I do not look down on your point of view, or judge your morals. I just ask that you do not judge me or mine.

[bdzemske]

A simple "fvck off" always seem to do the trick.

lmao yes sir it sure does

but glad you were able to find a response to him skyler

[SomeRandomGuy]

Subjective:

pertaining to or characteristic of an individual; personal; individual: a subjective evaluation.

Subjectivity refers to the subject and his or her perspective, feelings, beliefs, and desires.[1] In philosophy, the term is usually contrasted with objectivity.

Quantification:

Natural language

All known human languages make use of quantification (Wiese 2004). For example, in English:

Every glass in my recent order was chipped.
Some of the people standing across the river have white armbands.
Most of the people I talked to didn't have a clue who the candidates were.
Everyone in the waiting room had at least one complaint against Dr. Ballyhoo.
There was somebody in his class that was able to correctly answer every one of the questions I submitted.
A lot of people are smart.

I guess we could add:

Many bodybuilders are angry and prone to fits of violent rage.
Most bodybuilders are angry and prone to fits of violent rage.

This is one guy... How is that enough to really make a real classification of bodybuilders?

Another large aspect not to forget about this story... Who was responsible for his violent act? The man or the steroids? Is it possible that he would have committed the same act without the steroids? Probably.

[Shol'va]

Great heartfelt response Sky. You were able to keep objective with him and make your point without coming off sarcastic and putting him down, and losing a possible supporter/friend. Besides, sometimes it gets old argueing about stuff with people with different slants on things. It's like argueing with a pig...your just going to get frustrated and it annoys the pig.

[MACHINE5150]

i think your response was very appropriate.. obviously this guy is just trying to look after you, and has a skewed view of steroids due to his experience with his mother.. What he needs to understand is that no drug, whether it be steroids or alcohol or cocaine will make a man hit a woman. A man hits a woman because he is a piece of shit that needs to be destroyed.. not because he was "fvcked up on drugs" Him blaming steroids for his mom being beaten is like blaming alcohol for all the other spousal abuse that happens in this world. A man only hits a woman because he was not raised properly.. there is no other reason

[raspberry]

Your response was mature and appropriate given the sudden e-mail you got :P

[Sicko]

Yeh I would probably accept his offer to not post comments from here on out...Just a little to much/to deep to deal with especially if you are not close to him...kinda to personel of an intrest for a general comment...

[calgarian]

i do not know why u guys are all wound up about it. I read and ppl told me that steroid will make your dick look smaller and make you dumber. unless you are on Sust it will make you great fighter.....

On a serious note i just dont argue when ppl say bad things abt roids........i just point them where the juice is......

[ghettoboyd]

I did respond to him.
My response:
I don't want you to think I am mad at you, or that I don't want to be your friend, because that's not the case. I am just a no bullshit type of guy, so when I have something on my mind, or there is an issue i want to address, I take it head on, and very blunt and to the point.
I also agree there is no single "right" point of view. I respect everyone's preferences and beliefs. I have just gotten into the "steroid debate" so many times, I now have very little patience for the matter. If someone seems at least somewhat educated on the matter, I will have a civil conversation with them, no matter what their view is. I do not expect them to have the same view as me, and I also appreciate other views on a subject that interests me. When I feel, however, that I have come across "one more person" who wants to start a conversation about steroids, based purely on false facts, and no real knowledge of the subject, I honestly get worn out just thinking about how exhausting the conversation would be, so i try to put an end to it fast.
I respect your view as an individual and an artist about how the physique should look or be attained.
As far as competition goes, I guess I could say that racing a car with NOS isn't cheating if every other car in the race also has NOS.
I do use steroids, but I have been researching anabolics on every level for about 7 years, and made sure i was well educated about them before ever using them. I also use, and do not abuse. When you saw me at the party, you saw me "natural". I had not taken any anabolic compound in nearly 3 months.
I appreciate your concern, I understand that you are trying to look out for me, and I thank you.
I think you are a good guy and you had the best intentions, with your heart in the right place.
I don't hold any hard feelings toward you, and I do not look down on your point of view, or judge your morals. I just ask that you do not judge me or mine.

kudos to you for taking a more diplomatic approach...your reply was honest, respectfull and well thought out....

[LGM]

Nice response Skyler. Good job.