Its amazing how much mental effort is required to operate our muscles, and how easily we can lose control of certain functions without realizing it. I stopped lifting in 2003 due to back pain. At the time I had a car accident, had some back pain from it. I didnt want to stop lifting, but my laywer advised me that it wouldnt make our case look good if I kept going and growing. I was up to 235. So I stopped lifting, but got a job that was 11hrs a day physical labor. Still had a week or two left in a cycle when I stopped going to the gym, but the job was so physically demanding it kind of worked out, it wasnt like I wasted a cycle. I fit into a xxl work shirt nicely for about 8 months after the cycle was done, I actually skipped pct.

But the problem was, when the test/deca started wearing off, the back pain got worse, a lot worse. I even had a couple cortizone shots in my back, which was the wrong solution probably. Years of physical therapy, chiro, all minor help. I started thinking I was always gonna have a weak back and that was it.

One day I pick up my left shoe and look at the sole, the outer edge looks like it never touched the pavement once compared to the right shoe tread, the inner edge is bald to the sole. Shoes are 6 months old, when I held it up and looked at it, theres like a 20 degree angle of wear.

When I was 18 I kicked someones ass with a single leg takedown, he weighed 30 lbs more than me, when I picked him up off the ground I broke my left ankle. I thought it was just sprained, I had a job moving lawns and kept doing it. After 3 days it was worse, went to the doc, broken ankle. I adopted an alternate way of using my left foot and calf because me staying off that foot was not an option. I kept that alternate function for over 10 years without realizing it. During lifting I could never figure out why my left calf was so much smaller than the right, it was because I never put any pressure on the outside of my left foot. All those years I never realized it, despite the mental effort I was directing at my left calf while doing raises. This ended up being 1 major cause of my back problems, my function is restored on my left ankle after about 4 years now, but the size difference is still very noticeable. The first and hardest hurdle was mentally retraining myself to step properly, without actually having to think about it. Shoes wear even know!

The next and biggest is still ongoing, but progress is there. I always used to notice my left shoulder seemed closer to my neck than my right. Also used to wonder why after doing chest my left peck would never be sore, no matter how much I put my mind into the muscle. When I started wrestling in high school, I was so weak and wrestling bigger guys, my overall form was so poor because I was so weak I could barely complete moves. I never took a step back to force my left side to catch up, and again I adopted this weird abnormal range of motion with my left shoulder, started wrestling when I was 14, realized the problem 3 years ago. The abnormal range of motion was adopted because my left shoulder was so weak it basically crutched itself. Hold your fist in front of your face like your holding a torch, the way your shoulder is, that how mine was when my hands were by my side. Rear deltoid almost non existant on my left shoulder. There has been a ton of mirror work to train myself to use my left shoulder just as my right. This has been going on so long, from 14-31, that all the muscles and tendons on my left trap were about an inch shorter than my right. They are still shorter, still trying to stretch them. the more my shoulder form restores, the more of a stretch I feel in the trap, so they both go together. And the more muscle I gain in the left trap and shoulder, the more stretching I have to do, it dosent seem to grow pre-stretched

So... lift crooked, live crooked... until you finally end it with your girlfriend and have nothing to do except figure out why your in so much pain you cant go to the gym!!!!