Taking a girl I've never met before on a dinner date, very nervous...

[Charlie6]

We met on OKcupid.com, been texting for a week and a half. This one may be a keeper (although I haven't met her in person yet.) We have a dinner date at an upscale wine bar. I'm nervous. My stomach churns in situations like this and I know I"ll end up ordering dinner and won't be able to take a bite. I wish I knew why.

[Hoggage_54]

No need to be nervous... post some pics of her so we can help you better.. and her stats as well

[DanB]

if your nerves are at you then couple drinks should sort it out nicely. . . . .

[Charlie6]

Yeah I'm hoping we'll have a couple drinks THEN order dinner. I think it'll be fine once I'm there. Like getting wisdom teeth pulled, its never quite that bad once you're actually there. I guess since we've been texting we already have this preconceived perception of eachother and I hope meeting in person doesn't change our perception of eachother. if that makes sense. I don't have her pic on my comp, but she's pretty hot, which is also why i'm nervous.

[DanB]

were you in gym today? i dont know about nerves but i find it always lifts my mood after i train and therefore that must mean i would be better company because of it, i think?

[gixxerboy1]

have you actually talked or just texted?
just relax and if it a nice place you will sit and order drinks. they dont rush you into eating.

[Charlie6]

I've had a busy day and didn't have time for gym, but it probably would have helped me. I think it'll be ok once we each get a glass of wine in us. I just have to remember to relax and be myself. I know I'm a nice, good guy. Sometimes I'm just quirky...but who isn't. I hope I can keep good conversation going.

[Charlie6]

have you actually talked or just texted?
just relax and if it a nice place you will sit and order drinks. they dont rush you into eating.

I hope they don't. Yeah its a nice place so I'm hoping our server will take care of us like that and realize we're on a first date. I wonder if she's nervous, tho. We're both super chill people. But sometimes I get anxiety, it came with my ADD when I was a kid.

[DanB]

just try get her laughing, she prob nervous aswell so say something about it in a joking, taking the piss kinda way, should break the ice and then you be fine

[gixxerboy1]

then have a glass of wine before you leave the house.

[DanB]

good conversation dosnt have to be intelligent or deep or anything like that, if your a bit quirky then just let it come out and start talking complete b.s. haha first dates arent for deep meaningful b.s. you just want to have some fun and a laugh

[Charlie6]

I'm gonna have a glass before I leave the house forsure lol. that sholud help. I should stay away from the xanax tho, ya think? I don't wanna fall asleep on her. And yea I just have to remember to try to make her laugh. I think this girl and I will flow well together

[gixxerboy1]

good conversation dosnt have to be intelligent or deep or anything like that, if your a bit quirky then just let it come out and start talking complete b.s. haha first dates arent for deep meaningful b.s. you just want to have some fun and a laugh

i agree. just ask her how her days was to start talking and go from there.
or tell her you dont want to waste each others time if there is no connection and see if she wants a quicky in the coatroom

[gixxerboy1]

I'm gonna have a glass before I leave the house forsure lol. that sholud help. I should stay away from the xanax tho, ya think? I don't wanna fall asleep on her. And yea I just have to remember to try to make her laugh. I think this girl and I will flow well together

dont mix xanax and drinking

[Charlie6]

good conversation dosnt have to be intelligent or deep or anything like that, if your a bit quirky then just let it come out and start talking complete b.s. haha first dates arent for deep meaningful b.s. you just want to have some fun and a laugh

very very good points. will be kept in mind for sure

[DanB]

xanex and wine haha fall asleep, yeah if your lucky, that would be a good outcome for it

[Charlie6]

i agree. just ask her how her days was to start talking and go from there.
or tell her you dont want to waste each others time if there is no connection and see if she wants a quicky in the coatroom

HAHAHAH **** yes. I'll start with that right away. "Look, baby, lets not waste eachothers time. we're both here to get laid so lets cut the bullshit"

And yea, I'll stay away from the xannys

[Charlie6]

she just texted and said she feels bad making me drive all the way to her place to get her, then back to the winebar so she's gonna meet me there. I said ok,I don't mind but whatever. I hope we can go somewhere else for more drinks after. Maybe shoot pool. I'll have to see how it goes

[alexISthrowed]

dont mix xanax and drinking

Depends on what type of girl she is Xanax and alcohol will lead to bad decisions and no recollection of what you did on your date whatsoever.

[gixxerboy1]

Depends on what type of girl she is Xanax and alcohol will lead to bad decisions and no recollection of what you did on your date whatsoever.

i'd be asleep and not be able to seal the deal. All they do to me is make me tired

[Charlie6]

Yeah they usually just knock me out. unless I take like 1/4mg

[alexISthrowed]

i'd be asleep and not be able to seal the deal. All they do to me is make me tired

No way your getting a boner with that combo.

[DanB]

No way your getting a boner with that combo.

Only thing its ever given me has been a charge sheet. . . . . .

[Charlie6]

good to see some ladies in this thread. Help me out ladies =)

[SexySweetheart]

HOW EXCITING!

Im sure you will be fine

If your feeling nervious...just ask her questions about herself that are open ended (every one lovse to blabber on about themselves lol) and of cource there is always complements and flattery ~ she will feel so good about herself from your flattering words she wont even notice you being nervous

I hope you have a GREAT NIGHT!!

[Charlie6]

HOW EXCITING!

Im sure you will be fine

If your feeling nervious...just ask her questions about herself that are open ended (every one lovse to blabber on about themselves lol) and of cource there is always complements and flattery ~ she will feel so good about herself from your flattering words she wont even notice you being nervous

I hope you have a GREAT NIGHT!!

Thank you SO much I will indeed utilize your advice. We've texted so much atfirst it feels like there'll be nothing to talk about. but I still have to ask her about her family and why she chose her degree in school and all that jazz. I'll let ya know how it goes?

[gixxerboy1]

show up with a little back pack with duct tape, rope and knife. It will be a conversation starter

[SexySweetheart]

...mmmm its help you seek ...help you I will.. yess lol Attachment 120629

general guidlines to a first date:
remeber that this is a stranger. You are mearly sharing a brief snap shot of who you are (highlights). She has not yet earned the privalagde or may not even care/desire to know about your life family freinds X details.

shes secretly noticing how you hold yourself/ treat the staff and others/ how focused & attunded you are to her...how & what you eat and DRINK.. HOW MUCH YOU DRINIK (this is a biggy) keep it to 2 tops (even if she has more.)

Stay light stay engaging of her and your eviroment/ others around you ...share your food (WE LOVE THIS!) and extra exciting is if you order something your affraid too/new and you tell her (she will see you as open/adventurios/ experimental /not affreaid to spend money on your goals, desires veen if your unsure of them...make it light and maybe say how if it turns out nastey you will steal her food lol

no exagerations no lies no drama no kiss (esp if she wants one...if your draw out the first kiss it will be on her mind ALLLL the time, and thats A GOOD THING )

[Charlie6]

show up with a little back pack with duct tape, rope and knife. It will be a conversation starter

dude I nkow!! I was gonna bring the chloroform too, but it won't be necessary. Or I'll bring her a briefcase with a bunch of cash in it. What...I thought she was a wore. I could swear. hahahah

[Charlie6]

Oh my god you rock my world. I'm gonna read your post 11000 times i'm serious. What about the kiss. At the end, as we're walking out should I hug and go for a kiss on the cheek??

....Referring to sexy's last post...

[gixxerboy1]

...mmmm its help you seek ...help you I will.. yess lol Attachment 120629

general guidlines to a first date:
remeber that this is a stranger. You are mearly sharing a brief snap shot of who you are (highlights). She has not yet earned the privalagde or may not even care/desire to know about your life family freinds X details.

shes secretly noticing how you hold yourself/ treat the staff and others/ how focused & attunded you are to her...how & what you eat and DRINK.. HOW MUCH YOU DRINIK (this is a biggy) keep it to 2 tops (even if she has more.)

Stay light stay engaging of her and your eviroment/ others around you ...share your food (WE LOVE THIS!) and extra exciting is if you order something your affraid too/new and you tell her (she will see you as open/adventurios/ experimental /not affreaid to spend money on your goals, desires veen if your unsure of them...make it light and maybe say how if it turns out nastey you will steal her food lol

no exagerations no lies no drama no kiss (esp if she wants one...if your draw out the first kiss it will be on her mind ALLLL the time, and thats A GOOD THING )

i dont agree with the kiss part. Yes it may be on her mind but maybe not in a good way. I know girls that guys tried to be nice and be slow and the girls thought they were pvssy's or scared and wouldnt go out with them again

[Charlie6]

oooh I see what you mean about the kiss now. And after the date, after I get home, I want to text her and say "I had a great time and I hope you did too. So now that you know me a little better, do you wanna hang out again?"

Is this a good idea?

[Charlie6]

i dont agree with the kiss part. Yes it may be on her mind but maybe not in a good way. I know girls that guys tried to be nice and be slow and the girls thought they were pvssy's or scared and wouldnt go out with them again

interesting point of view. I'll have to read body language and see how I feel at the time. If we end on a very good note I'll give her a hug but maybe not a kiss. Or maybe a kiss on the cheek if I don't think it'll be too awkward.

[gixxerboy1]

oooh I see what you mean about the kiss now. And after the date, after I get home, I want to text her and say "I had a great time and I hope you did too. So now that you know me a little better, do you wanna hang out again?"

Is this a good idea?

i dont like how thats worded. you dont sound confident. She already knew you enough to go out once. No need to question it again.

[Charlie6]

Should I head there a bit early and see if there is a spot at the bar where I can sit alone and have a glass of wine before she gets there? I sorta want to but if its not a good idea I won't. She may wonder how many glasses i've had....

[SexySweetheart]

...fyi, keep the texting to a min. people in general are drawn too, curious and feel special when they finally get or have the attention of someone thats not allways available.

I would suggest a conversation about nothing lol seems silly but when girls are dating they all seem to be the same date after a while...same topics, same lines, same food and drinks...its mundaine.

say ramdom stuff ...I told Tigershark I would be the girl wearing the Mr T gold chains, blasting boy goerge from my red Thunderbird ....lol he said he was the bald guy... I told him that was awsome cuz Im bald too and we could spot each other easy! lol

[gixxerboy1]

interesting point of view. I'll have to read body language and see how I feel at the time. If we end on a very good note I'll give her a hug but maybe not a kiss. Or maybe a kiss on the cheek if I don't think it'll be too awkward.

i agree see how it goes. I just dont agree with sexy's comment no kiss even if she wants one. If you pull away your a tool to her

[Charlie6]

i dont like how thats worded. you dont sound confident. She already knew you enough to go out once. No need to question it again.

but this is our first time actually together. She's taking a chance by having this first date. I feel like I, somehow, have to ask her if she wants to chill again.

And during dinner, I'll try to avoid the "and next weekend we should go to this place..."

[Charlie6]

...fyi, keep the texting to a min. people in general are drawn too, curious and feel special when they finally get or have the attention of someone thats not allways available.

I would suggest a conversation about nothing lol seems silly but when girls are dating they all seem to be the same date after a while...same topics, same lines, same food and drinks...its mundaine.

say ramdom stuff ...I told Tigershark I would be the girl wearing the Mr T gold chains, blasting boy goerge from my red Thunderbird ....lol he said he was the bald guy... I told him that was awsome cuz Im bald too and we could spot each other easy! lol

bahahaha thats awesome. I'd totally dig a bald girl with bling and a thunderbird.

Do you mean keep texting in general to a min? Or just post date "how was it" text to a min?

[gixxerboy1]

but this is our first time actually together. She's taking a chance by having this first date. I feel like I, somehow, have to ask her if she wants to chill again.

And during dinner, I'll try to avoid the "and next weekend we should go to this place..."

i dont think you have to avoid that. Be confident assume there is another date.