Originally Posted by
Atomini
I was just going through a bunch of old word files and documents on my computer and I found this, I forgot where I copypasted this from, but I thought I would share (don't worry, no mention of any rec drugs) here,
7 Reasons Drugs Are Waaaaay Better Than Vitamins
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I’m sick of these alternative health hucksters trying to profit off innocent souls by selling them dangerous, deceitful products. Why aren’t vitamins regulated? Drugs are regulated by the FDA to protect citizens’ health, and it’s about time vitamins were, too. There are seven very compelling reasons why drugs are way better than vitamins. If anything, we ought to deregulate drugs (prescription drugs, people) and ban those dangerous vitamins!
■Reason #7: Vitamins may be essential to life, but drugs help mask the symptoms of all the sh*t you shouldn’t be doing to your body.
Okay, so the body needs vitamins to, you know, not die or something. The WHO (World Health Organization – not the band) says vitamin deficiencies will cause all kinds of diseases. But duh – that’s why we have drugs…to deal with those diseases!
■Reason #6: Vitamins are really dangerous, while drugs are proven.
There have been a few really famous studies that have proven that cheap, crappy forms of certain vitamins like synthetic vitamin E and beta carotene, when given in excessive amounts to really old terminally ill people about to croak, doesn’t stop them from dying. So, obviously, vitamins are super-dangerous. I’m pretty sure way more people have died from chewing those deadly vitamin C tablets than from Vioxx, Avandia, Prempro, Tylenol, Ritalin, Prozac and other wonderful drugs. I don’t need to quote you the numbers. Vitamins are so dangerous, it’s messed up that they aren’t banned outright.
■Reason #5: Vitamins are unregulated and untested, while drugs are guaranteed safe by the FDA.
Here’s the deal: The FDA doesn’t actually test any drugs. They leave that to the drug companies. The FDA is also totally corrupt, and I like that – from threatening dissenting scientists to board scandals to being a cushy landing pad for stressed former Pharma execs to make 300 grand for an easy one-year stint. But the FDA is nice, because they trust pharmaceutical companies to do their jobs, and isn’t that what’s important? Being nice? Hello, karma!
Corruption, my butt. Besides, no one’s perfect; that’s just capitalism for you. The market will sort it out. Jesus says so right there in First Parentheses.
■Reason #4: Vitamins can’t be patented, which makes them communist.
If you love your country, take drugs.
■Reason #3: Vitamins do not have cool names or logos.
Who wants to pop some plant powder that is proven to be essential to life when it’s got a stupid leaf on the bottle? I want names that sound like hot European chicks and have swirly abstract logos, dammit! Ooh, ooh! And can the logo also have that wet, glossy Mac look? Yeah, that’s awesome.
■Reason #2: People have been doing “the vitamin thing” for literally hundreds of thousands of years, but drugs are pretty new.
Just tattoo an L on your forehead while you’re at it. Better yet, wear high water peg pants and a neon fanny pack, loser. Vitamins are so over. Everyone who ever took vitamins before the 20th century died – well, eventually. Isn’t that proof enough? Drugs are new, and that makes them better.
■Reason #1: Vitamins are kinda gay, whereas drugs are a guaranteed way to get you lots of friends at parties!
Let’s be honest. Paris and Lindsay are probably not going to go for your pansy Echinacea tablet when there’s Xanax to be had.
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