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Thread: Chuck Norris Facts

  1. 03-02-2013, 08:42 AM #1
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    Chuck Norris Facts

    Curious if anyone had any unknown facts about Chuck Norris. For example

    Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

    Or



    Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
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  2. 03-02-2013, 08:50 AM #2
    The Bear 79
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    Chick Norris is so fast, he can run around the world & kick himself in the back of the head.
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  3. 03-02-2013, 08:51 AM #3
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    If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance
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  4. 03-02-2013, 08:54 AM #4
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    Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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  5. 03-02-2013, 08:55 AM #5
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    The Boogeyman checks his closet & under his bed for Chuck Norris.
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  6. 03-02-2013, 08:56 AM #6
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    If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
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  7. 03-02-2013, 09:08 AM #7
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    Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fvck Chuck Norris is.
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  8. 03-02-2013, 09:10 AM #8
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    Click image for larger version.  Name: ForumRunner_20130302_111047.png  Views: 66306  Size: 153.6 KB  ID: 134326
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  9. 03-02-2013, 09:17 AM #9
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    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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  10. 03-02-2013, 09:18 AM #10
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    Chuck Norris doesn't get wet..wet gets Chuck Norris
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  11. 03-02-2013, 09:25 AM #11
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    Chuck Norris doesn't do push up's, he pushes the earth down....
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  12. 03-02-2013, 09:35 AM #12
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    But when it comes to the truth.One time they had all those guys togeather Van Dam Norris and a couple others.And they all said Sagal was the best.
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  13. 03-02-2013, 09:37 AM #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by songdog View Post
    But when it comes to the truth.One time they had all those guys togeather Van Dam Norris and a couple others.And they all said Sagal was the best.
    Only because nobody invited me.
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  14. 03-02-2013, 09:44 AM #14
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    Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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  15. 03-02-2013, 09:45 AM #15
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    Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups....He pushes the world down
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  16. 03-02-2013, 09:46 AM #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigZthedestroyer View Post
    Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups....He pushes the world down
    Seems like I've heard that one somewhere recently...........
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  17. 03-02-2013, 09:55 AM #17
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    Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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  18. 03-02-2013, 10:11 AM #18
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    When girls have sex with God. They scream out for Chuck Norris
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  19. 03-02-2013, 10:23 AM #19
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    Chuck norris jerks off with a sledge hammer!
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  20. 03-02-2013, 10:24 AM #20
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    The "dark" is afraid of Chuck Norris!!
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  21. 03-02-2013, 10:28 AM #21
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    The Bear 79 uses a picture of Chuck Norris as motivation.
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  22. 03-02-2013, 10:30 AM #22
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    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars.
    That's why there's no sign of life.
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  23. 03-02-2013, 11:01 AM #23
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    Scientists believe earthquakes are caused by techtonic plates shifting but in actuality its just Chuck Norris rubbing one out
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  24. 03-02-2013, 11:10 AM #24
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    +++ try this +++

    Go onto google
    Type : where is chuck Norris
    Press: I'm feeling lucky

    Absolutely awesome
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  25. 03-02-2013, 12:15 PM #25
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    While practicing CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
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  26. 03-02-2013, 12:25 PM #26
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    Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra. After 5 days of burning fever and agony, the cobra died.
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  27. 03-02-2013, 12:26 PM #27
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    Chuck Norris has a Grizzly bear rug in his living room... the Bear isnt dead, just too afraid to move
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  28. 03-02-2013, 12:28 PM #28
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    Fear of Spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called LOGIC
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  29. 03-02-2013, 12:29 PM #29
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    Chuck Norris doesnt dial the wrong number, you answer the wrong fvcken phone
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  30. 03-02-2013, 12:29 PM #30
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    When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he already had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
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  31. 03-02-2013, 12:30 PM #31
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    Ghosts sit around campfires telling Chuck Norris stories
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  32. 03-02-2013, 12:31 PM #32
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    Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding
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  33. 03-02-2013, 12:31 PM #33
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    Superman and Chuck Norris once had a fight and the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants
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  34. 03-02-2013, 12:32 PM #34
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    Chuck Norris can cut a hot knife with butter
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  35. 03-02-2013, 12:32 PM #35
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    Chuck Norris does not flush a toilet, he scares the shit out of it
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  36. 03-02-2013, 12:33 PM #36
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    Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
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  37. 03-02-2013, 12:34 PM #37
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    Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin and its offspring were known as the first girafes
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  38. 03-02-2013, 12:34 PM #38
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    Chuck Norris uses a stunt double when he has crying scenes
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  39. 03-02-2013, 12:35 PM #39
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    Chuck Norris can leave a message before the beep
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  40. 03-02-2013, 12:38 PM #40
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    In Scrabble, if you spell the word CHUCKNORRIS, you win forever
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