Guys, I am in DESPERATE need for help. Anyone who has ANY idea what to do, please type. Smart/dumb, whatever, just pile on. I beg for help because I am at the lands’ end.
Story began in March 2012 I lost erections and libido, quite literally overnite. Went to urologist he measured TT=147. Upon conversation with him, I decided to lose weight (40 yo, 225 lb, 5 foot 7). So I went on a low-carb diet, and after 5 weeks lost around 20 lbs. And all of the sudden my sex life came back. But three months later, I gradually lost libido again, and orgasmic sensation. I could have erection, sex, ejaculate, but no feeling. I measured again, TT=122. I decided to go with Testopel. Implanted 14 pellets in January 2013, and 5 days later got a MAJOR panic attack. I lived with periodic panic attacks for 5-6 weeks, and then they went away. I started to feel weak orgasms, by far not what it used to be. But libido did not come back. Numerous measurements showed that on Testopel I was pretty stable (which makes sense) at TT=450+/-20, and E2=38. At no point I lost erections during this treatment. At this stage I was looking for libido and intense orgasms.
So in May 2013 I signed up for HRT clinic. I figured my TT was way too low, and this was the bottom of my problems. They made comprehensive panel:
LIPID PANEL
CHOLESTEROL, TOTAL 178 125-200 mg/dL
HDL CHOLESTEROL 46 > OR = 40 mg/dL
TRIGLYCERIDES 157 H <150 mg/dL
LDL-CHOLESTEROL 101 <130 mg/dL (calc)
CHOL/HDLC RATIO 3.9 < OR = 5.0 (calc)
NON HDL CHOLESTEROL 132 mg/dL (calc)
CARDIO CRP(R) 1.6 mg/L
COMPREHENSIVE METABOLIC PANEL
GLUCOSE 91 65-99 mg/dL Fasting reference interval
ALBUMIN/GLOBULIN RATIO 2.2 1.0-2.5 (calc)
BILIRUBIN, TOTAL 0.6 0.2-1.2 mg/dL
ALKALINE PHOSPHATASE 67 40-115 U/L
AST 16 10-40 U/L
ALT 20 9-60 U/L
HEMOGLOBIN A1c 5.8 H <5.7 % of total Hgb.
VITAMIN D, 25 OH, TOTAL 25 L 30-100 ng/mL
VITAMIN D, 25 OH, D3 25 ng/mL
VITAMIN D, 25 OH, D2 <4 ng/mL
TSH 1.71 0.40-4.50 mIU/L
T4, FREE 1.2 0.8-1.8 ng/dL
T3, FREE 3.2 2.3-4.2 pg/mL
TESTOSTERONE , FREE 128.3 46.0-224.0 pg/mL
TESTOSTERONE,BIOAVAILABLE 297.2 110.0-575.0 ng/dL
SEX HORMONE BINDING GLOBULIN 9 L 10-50 nmol/L
ALBUMIN,SERUM 5.1 3.6-5.1 g/dL
DIHYDROTESTOSTERONE, EZ LC/MS/MS 14 L 16-79 ng/dL
PROLACTIN 13.0 2.0-18.0 ng/mL
PSA, TOTAL 1.0 < OR = 4.0 ng/mL
E2 Sensitive = 38
Note that my SHBG is very low, which explains why I was not able to maintain decent TT levels on almost highest dose of Testopel.
In June 2013 my TT started to fall (Testopel was wearing off). I was placed by HRT doctor on 500 IU of HCG and 0.5 mg ArimidexE3D. Three weeks later I measured TT=480, E2=7. I crashed estrogen. None of my symptoms changed (I was able to even hold erections). I asked doctor to write a script for cypionate . Clearly my TT was not high, and I was thinking still this is a source of problems. So I went on E3D protocol on 7/17/2013:
day 1 = 300 IU HCG
day 2 = 50 mg cypionate IM+0.25 Arimidex
day 3 = nothing
It did raise my TT to 912 in 3 weeks, but E2 was at most 14. I went off arimidex, and in a week I was back at E2=41. So I went back on 0.25 Arimidex E3D. The latest measure a week ago gave me TT=555 and E2=11. Almost immediately upon starting cypionate I lost morning wood and started to see first signs of ED. Erections became soft and unreliable, and in September 2013 I had fully blown ED. At that point I stopped using Adex and never touched it since then.
Since then I tried different protocols of cypionate /propionate /HCG , in different doses:
- cypionate 8 mg/day
- cypionate 16 mg/2 days
- cypionate 30 mg/3 days
- propionate 2 mg/day
- propionate 5 mg/day
- propionate 8 mg/day
- HCG mono 100-150 IU/day
and many others.
on the labs my results were all over the place, TT from 110 to 1200, for the most part stayed around 500-600. E2 was consistently low, in 15-20 range, occasionally coming into 20-25 range.
Symptom-wise I am in complete shit. Shortly after starting cypionate in July 2013 I saw mild ED. I lost morning wood, and developed insomnia. Libido was and still is zero. Over the course of one month ED got progressively worse and in September 2013 became fully blown ED. But here is the horrifying part: I started to see penile atrophy in August 2013. The penis shaft got thinner, with loose skin, and veins very pronounced on the top of it. It never happened before. No matter what my levels were, testosterone , or estrogen, symptoms did not change. Finally in March 2014 I decided to go back on Testopel. Last time in 2013 I was on it, my boners were good, I had morning wood. My only problems were no libido and weak orgasms on Testopel.
So 3/17/2014 I got Testopel (12 pellets). Nine days after implant, I got strong woody, and dick went back to its good old full shape (overnight). I measured TT=850, E2=39 (sensitive). It lasted 4 days, and disappeared again. No wood, thin shaft. I measured again, and it came back as TT=680, E2=24. So I attributed loss of wood to significant drop in E2. Later measurements revealed TT=450-470, E2=18-19.
So it appears that my body cannot hold onto E2. Magical wood coming back and disappearing again puzzles me immensely.
If you guys have any comments/suggestions, they are highly appreciated. I am at the world end, as you can imagine. The wood is gone close to 1 year and I cannot bring it back, no matter what I do. The idea to go back on Testopel was to bring back my dick, because previous time on Testopel I had no dick problems. But for no apparent reason it is not working this time, even though the dose is almost identical.
My sleep is still messed up (insomnia).
Please, guys, help me out, I am at the end of the line.