So I was bullied relentlessly for being short all throughout middle and high school. It got to the point where I was getting depressed so I decided to try hgh. I used 6-9 units for 2.5 months and ran 2iu a day again for 1 month.
Since then I've never been the same. I've been suffering from neck pain, knee and elbow stiffness and tmj disorder. I never had any of these problems before using gh.
Despite this I continued to lift naturally for about 5 months after using the gh. About 1 month ago the three years total I spent lifting started to pay off. At 5'8 180 I wasn't big by any means but people began to recognize my efforts. I was one of the strongest guys in my university gym, but that wouldn't last for long. I got my first girlfriend at the time.
Anyway I had to stop 2 months ago because the headaches and neck pain were becoming unbearable. Despite stopping my joints and neck hurt like hell and I've yet to wake up without a headache that usually lasts throughout the day. I had an mri done which showed a slight bulging disc but the doctor said it's not a big deal and is not the cause of the pain.
Physical therapy starts next week and I guess I need to admit to the physio that I was using hgh. But I'm afraid that they might not be willing to help if I reveal this.
My confidence is shot because I'm in constant pain and I'm depressed because I can no longer go to the gym. My roommate from last year told me that I am looking thin. I can't remember the last day I woke up feeling refreshed.
My girlfriend has been distancing herself from me. There are other girls who are interested in me but I can't act on it. I know that in my current state it will go nowhere. My fraternity brothers hate me and people distance themselves from me. I do not have time to recover and now I am back in school again for the summer. Because I wasn't taking my studies seriously I am behind and need to cram classes in my schedule to graduate.
At this point I realize that if I ever recover it is going to take months if not years. I will never have a good childhood or those college experiences that people in their 40s like to reminisce about. At the age of 20 my life is pretty much ruined.
Please do not use steroids at a young age unless you are planning to go into competitive bodybuilding or professional athletics. Most of the time there are no serious side effects but remember, if they happen no one is going to be there for you. Those who you thought were your friends will disassociate themselves from you. You will be alone in your recovery if you ever do recover