TLR - I am military and I am not where I want/need to be to confidently stand in between you and the rest of the world. Looking for product advice.
I am an adopted South Korean-American, I am currently 28; I have been serving in the US armed forces since I was 20 yrs old. I started out as an active duty Marine, injuries ended up getting me pushed out and now I am a reservist Army Soldier - mostly because they were the only ones willing to take me in my broken state. I have gone through two years of physical therapy for limited mobility and ranging from about a 5-7 on the 1-10 scale of pain for my right ankle, right knee, lower back and both wrists. I used to be active duty artillery, and as a relatively small guy [at the time 145lbs slinging 102-118lbs 155mm rounds] I ended up gritting my teeth and doing shit for speed and not correct form during field ops [if any of you are Marines you know exactly what I'm talking about]. So I WAS quite ****ed up, I'm better now but still pretty stiff in many of my joints and limited flexibility with my back.
Fast forward, I'm now a reservist Soldier (it is what it is) - because even with my injuries the Army was still willing to take me. I am working up to my fourth deployment overseas to the middle east. Unfortunately/fortunately this time will be quite tame. I can't disclose where I will be or exactly what I will be doing, but I assure you I will have more than enough weights and more than enough time. Combat is terribly unlikely, but it is what is is, I take what I can get. Regardless of where I end up I like to prepare for the worst and after coming back from my last deployment I slacked off really hard. I came back in Feb 2015 and at the time I was going to the gym twice a day, seven days a week. When I came home it decreased to a realistic 4 days a week. Over time, between work - and im not going to lie here - my own excuses (hardest part about going to the gym is getting to the damn gym) I've slowly dwindled down to twice a week with some minor sustaining work outs at home. I know, I'm a shitbird - it is what is is and one of the reasons I've come here.
So here's my dilemma. It might be hard for a civilian to understand but I know the military out there have to know or at least at one point had this cross their minds. I never ever ever ever want to be in a life or death situation that requires someone else to depend on me who weighs significantly more than me and have it turn out that even with my pure adrenaline rush I would be unable to pull/drag/throw them into proper cover. In the past I have successfully fireman carried a 290lb person when I was 160 some-odd pounds. I was able to do it, but it was slow as ****. I'm am not going to pretend I am some war hero - I was never involved in Vietnam or Desert Storm which were out last "true" wars as an American, I have only been born and bred into an era of conflict. But the point remains - put yourself in my boots for just a minute and think. I am currently 168 lbs and as much as I don't want to admit it - I am out of shape. I am much squishier than I was overseas, my run time is borderline failing [I am struggling with quitting smoking for I think the eighth time?] and I am just not confident I could rescue my biggest troop (277 lbs firefighter) from a combat scenario if I had to. I want to believe and say with my adrenaline rush "YES! If it came down to life and death and you were bleeding out I WOULD BE ABLE TO GET YOU THE **** OUT OF THE KILLZONE AND ADMINISTER AID". Except I feel its a lie at this point.... I know I can lift and fireman carry him - but I am reduced to the speed of a fatkid without a twinkie in his sight, I can hardly move and it does not make me confident I could save him which to me is earthshattering. A Sergeant takes care of his troops to hellsgate and back and I am at a state where I cannot, in full confidence, say that. What would I ever say to his parents as his Sergeant? I couldn't save your beefy ass son because I was a weak mother****er?
NO.
If shit hits the fan I need the confidence to do this. The confidence is rooted in the physical strength of being a goddamn man, I know its out there, I used to have a small slice of the pie but I was lazy and let it slip. I don't need to move mountains and crack the pavement when I walk okay? I'm not asking for a miracle route, I don't expect to be fat and lazy and then pick up a boulder. I am willing to work for it and I am willing to shed blood, sweat and tears to get myself to where I need to be. The thing is, I don't think its realistic for me to be as strong as I want to be (or perhaps need to be because I refuse to ever try to explain to couple why their son or daughter isn't coming home because I was too weak to save them as their NCO) within my one year time frame without a bit of a nudge. I cook all my own food every day; white rice is about half of every meal - I know its not ideal but hey - I'm Asian - that isn't going to change. The rest of the meal is usually fish or pork/beef/chicken fillets I portion and freeze on the day of purchase. I do drink, not much beer mostly wine paired with with I prepare, and about once every ten days some liquor; I am currently attempting to quit smoking.... again.... I spend much of my day at my computer, sometimes learning shit, sometimes doing literally nothing and watching - I donno - ****ing cat videos? douchebags on youtube? watch other people playing video games? yea some kind of random mix of that. I have some limited weights at home, a bench, a few varying plates, dumbbells ranging from 20 to 45 and a frame mounted pull up bar (I do 24 pull ups on a normal pull up bar - frame mounted I get like eight... wtf??). I am willing to make changes and concessions (my drinking is slowing down, rice is about 1/4 less intake than normal) and I don't consume much else outside out these boundaries. I purchase vegetables once a month which last for approximately ten days. I normally get two potatoes, two sweet potatoes, a vine of four tomatoes, a box of four portobello mushrooms, a bunch of radish, a head of green cabbage, two bunches of green onion/scallions, a large sweet yellow onion and a tub of minced garlic. All of these vegetables translate into about ten days worth of vegetable heavy or completely vegetable based meals - Fruit is pretty much non-existent in my diet. I've been trying to compensate for my rice consumption by cutting out some calories in meals by both decreasing portion size by about 1/4 (90% rice) and consuming protein shakes with a teaspoon of creatine first thing in the morning (mostly to replace my morning cigarette) and last thing before bed (I use a casein shake before bed). I eat out for fat kid slob about once every 45 days to just satisfy the urge [its not even good....]. I eat probably twice a day a large meal of rice and meat, which I am currently breaking down into smaller portions to do more "snacking" throughout the day to maintain a nutritional balance throughout the day instead of just a calorie overload twice a day. I am working on eating four times a day - consuming the same approximate amount of calories as I already was but spacing it out a few hours at a time, and so far I have had success. I drink approximately 10 qts of water a day (I can't consume milk and I don't own juice - its water or booze basically in my house).
So my end goals, I expect to be able to travel 24/7 with a fully loaded 22lb light machine gun with up to 1200 rounds on my back in a bag divided into 200rnd belts which are approximately 7lbs a piece with approximately 52lbs worth of gear on my torso and head. With all of that (pretty standard for a machinegunner) I expect to be able to lift up my biggest troop who is currently 277lbs WITH ALL OF THEIR GEAR estimated at 66lbs as a standard rifleman and RUN them at very minimum 100meters before throwing them down behind some solid cover AND still having enough in my soul to be able to get back into position and lay down firepower. It is alot to ask of any man - yet M-E-N in American history have done it without fail. I expect to live up to the standards that were set for me before *ahem* "a boost" was even available. I will say that steroids are still very illegal in the military - which I personally thing is stupid, I think steroids for the American Military should be mandatory.... anyway....
This is my situation. I am looking to improve and I need that boost both physically for the unquestionable level of strength and mentally in the form of motivation. I have zero experience outside of natural methods of lifting and eating/sleeping alot. I am not quite looking to become massive as I believe that would raise a red flag - as I said, for whatever stupid reason, steroids are still very illegal in the military, but I am looking to gain the better part of that massive jacked dude's level of strength without a VERY obvious increase in size. I do not know any abbreviations, or acronyms or jargon outside of military terms. In terms of increasing the very ideals of what it is to be a MAN I unfortunately do not know any lingo so if you are uncomfortable for whatever reason about giving me advice on a public forum just private message me and I will be happy to send you a message/email for more personal advice.
I will close this with my personal standpoint: Steroids are still very illegal in the military but I would rather be kicked out of the military or even jailed for knowing in my very soul that I did everything within in my power to ensure Pvt. Smith went home to his family than to personally return home safely knowing that a troop under my command died because of my weakness and I was willing but UNABLE to save my fellow service member's life. I enlisted because I hurt my soul to read about my brothers and sisters dying and have the majority of America just shrugging it off as if their names and lives didn't matter. If I could equate it to a song; as cheesy as it might be I think how I feel would translate well into "Linkin Park - Castle of Glass". Actually I think I encourage you to re-read my post while listening to the song even if its not your thing.
TL
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