Originally Posted by
DocToxin8
I've been married and luckily divorced and have cheated.
Yeah, cheaters are scum, blah blah.
Except there's some points I'd debate about it.
(I've only ever cheated on my ex wife though, and she never found out that I did, even in retrospect)
We actually had a pretty good sex life so I can't really blame it on that,
but I had my reasons for wanting to enjoy life with uncomplicated women elsewhere that I felt appreciated me more.
(And in turn in actually made the relationship better for a while)
Why didn't I just leave her right away?
When you've been within someone a long time it's easy to have gotten a lot of vested interests, one are not only lovers, but friends that cooperate about living together. And one doesn't want to throw this away lightly, one wants to be sure.
Having some sexual exploits elsewhere doesn't necessarily mean that much except some extra thrill in life, something that might be lacking when things have turned sour.
I think where you (or your wife) stray when it comes to just sex during a long term relationship doesn't have to be that much of a betrayal as many make it out to be.
If you're with another woman and bitch about your wife it's another matter,
but if you're with another woman that doesn't even know your wife and you never talk about her, doesn't share your personal life, then it might still be a betrayal, but perhaps not as big as what your wife might have done by just talking about your deepest personal issues with some friend.
It's a difficult subject.
And I would warn that cheating (if it continues) probably will end in divorce,
and perhaps so it should.
What woman lets her husband go months without sex, making him beg for it, probably begin to despise him for begging, and in every way makes him less of a man, and can claim to do that out of love though?
And eventually probably ends up cheating on him anyway and leaving him?
I've never let it go that far, I refuse to beg for sex,
and would rather she finds someone else to fuck while I do too,
and perhaps then find out that we're either meant to be or not.
Loyalty is important, but relationships are complex.
Cheating probably wrecks most relationships, but then they should end anyway.
On the flip side cheating could (seldom), also save it.
It's also about just being true to yourself.
Love isn't owning another individual.
And that goes both ways.
Ofcourse, a lot of this could just be solved by good communication,
but I see a lot of friends enter this same destructive sexless relationships.
If nothing else, cheating might be a good way to make one open ones eyes and see that this relationship is either unfixable or something to work on.
As I've said, I've only cheated on one woman and that relationship ended,
but to this day I'm grateful that I went against my instincts and cheated.
End of rant.
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